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Ikas90
15-07-07, 11:07
Ok, I think that this is a good time to start a topic about people who fall in love over the internet. What are your beliefs and opinions on online/long distance relationships?

As some of you know, I have been in love with a TRF member for a few months, and sometimes our relationship can be quite cruel to us. The fact is that we're 15,000km apart, and it hurts that we can't be together. I know this is personal, but the reason I have made this topic was to see how some of you feel about internet relationships yourself, or even to share your own experiences of long distance relationships.

I know that most internet relationships do fail, and are more likely to fail than normal relationships, but I'm planning to meet my dear in 8 months from today, which seems like a really long wait. In long waits like this, it is possible, and could even be highly likely that online relationships could fall apart at any time as they indeed are very unstable. And I'm strongly hoping that me and her don't have to separate.

Some can hardly believe that it is even possible that people who live thousands of miles away from each other are able to experience feelings through the internet with someone they have never personally met or seen. I know for sure though, that my feelings are definitely there for the person I'm in love with.

So if you have anything concerning online/distant relationships to share with us, or even have something to say that could help me or others, please do so.

Saki :wve:

ivannnnn
15-07-07, 11:11
I know who she is :D :mis:

If you want to meet your lover from internet. You have to exchange photo each other,then look at his/her appearance,whether it is appropriate or not.

just from me :wve:


I would love to meet someone too from internet,but yeah,still doubt

star girl
15-07-07, 11:12
Hmm.. Sagnes :rolleyes:

Well - we were working on that ballad weren't we for you, Sagnes? :p :D

OK honestly, never been in one. Not now, not ever :wve:

But I'd be able to give advice if someone needs it :)

And expect a hilarious ballad from me too :p

Ikas90
15-07-07, 11:14
Hmm.. Sagnes :rolleyes:

Well - we were working on that ballad weren't we for you, Sagnes? :p :D

OK honestly, never been in one. Not now, not ever :wve:

But I'd be able to give advice if someone needs it :)

And expect a hilarious ballad from me too :p

:ton:

Oh, please do share. :D

ashnar
15-07-07, 11:14
That is so sweet:o. A friend of mine experienced this and she eventually met the person(arranged it, saved money) and they now have a very solid relationship. Also, there have been several news references about couples who met via the internet and developed such relationships. It is very possible. The internet is a form of communication.

ashnar
15-07-07, 11:16
I know who she is :D :mis:

If you want to meet your lover from internet. You have to exchange photo each other,then look at his/her appearance,whether it is appropriate or not.

just from me :wve:


I would love to meet someone too from internet,but yeah,still doubt

Well put. :)

Ikas90
15-07-07, 11:16
That is so sweet:o. A friend of mine experienced this and she eventually met the person(arranged it, saved money) and they now have a very solid relationship. Also, there have been several news references about couples who met via the internet and developed such relationships. It is very possible. The internet is a form of communication.

Indeed the internet has brought the world much closer together... I think we all live on what's called a 'flat plain'. :D

star girl
15-07-07, 11:18
:ton:

Oh, please do share. :D

I'll do that next time you and @G|\|E$ are online in the OC :p

But any advice? :D I may sound crazy, but I can give useful advice :p

Joe_16
15-07-07, 11:30
It's never something I could ever do personally. I'ld been going out with someone whilst I was at university and that proved to be incredibly difficult because we were 100 miles away from each other. You talking about travelling across the world.

I like to see the person I am with frequently, personally.

Cookie_Raider
15-07-07, 11:31
Saki you know what I think pudding. the wait till be the hardest thing, you just need to be strong in the mean time - and if this girlie needs her space - best to let her have it. Everything will be fine, promise :hug: Besides 8 months isn't THAT long :D

ace_85
15-07-07, 11:33
It's a no-go area in my opinion - a relationship with someone you've never even been in the same room as is unorthodox, to say the least - but I suppose there are weirder things in life

MiCkiZ88
15-07-07, 11:35
Do not rush in to things.. that's my only advice as I've done that my self. Alot of people probs know what I'm talking about :wve:

But if you really do love her and she loves you back and you both want to meet. Then go ahead and 'fly in to her arms' Saki :p :D

jarhead
15-07-07, 11:36
I'm wtih Ace. I find it strange how you can have a relationship without even knowing them 'in person;. A good friendship might be possible but not a full relationship.

jamieoliver22
15-07-07, 11:37
I met my girlfriend on TRF (and I am sure many of you can guess who that is). Distance can really be a pain in the arse, and can be quite hurtful at times. Many times I have wanted to be there to cuddle her, but she is 60 miles away. But luckly, I am going down to see her in about a months time and no doubt will be the best day of my life.

Internet relationships can work, even if it does seem somewhat of a modern cliche. It can be difficult at times, just stick with it.

Paperdoll
15-07-07, 11:38
I agree with Jared and David, honestly things are different talking with someone in person and through the internet, I see that mostly with people that I've known for years and that seem different when I talk to them online just because of the way they write. And then there's the obvious safety reasons. Anyways it's a no no for me. There's nothing like actually having that human contact.

Catapharact
15-07-07, 11:39
Possibly one of the hardest things to carry on with.

What is the underlining basis of any relationship? (And if someone says sex, boy you're gonna have one short period of a relationship.) Its trust offcourse and well, how the heck can ya beckon trust when you don't even entirely know what the person on the other side is like? I have seen it fall apart wayyy too many times (including an incident where a Mod couple from the Ubi forums wanted to get togather. He lived in England and she in the U.S. He moved all the way to the U.S. for her but the relatoinship just didn't work out.)

Bottom line: There are way too many variables working against you so it may not be wise to start up a connection online. Lol! I know Violet is gonna eat my ear off for this but that's just what it is.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v305/Catapharact/src_01.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v305/Catapharact/src_06.jpg

Joe_16
15-07-07, 11:42
Isn't the whole point of being in a relationship being able to see them and do things with them? That's how you grow to love someone.

Terminatorvs
15-07-07, 11:43
I don't believe in I-net relationships - they're most likely scams. Furthermore, the highest amount of I-net scammers lives in Russia.

Mad Tony
15-07-07, 11:44
Most of you probably know there's girl on this forum who I love dearly (:hug:), but she doesn't love me (although we are good friends ::)). I don't know if that's classed as an internet relationship as only one of us loves the other.

We're planning to meet up some time (don't know when) as she doesn't live that far from me. :)

Ikas90
15-07-07, 11:44
I know that internet relationships aren't always safe, but I presume that seeing her on webcam everyday proves she really is who I see. As for personality, sometimes it is quite hard to see, but I do know that we have quite a lot in common. :)

Mad Tony
15-07-07, 11:45
I know that internet relationships aren't always safe, but I presume that seeing her on webcam everyday proves she really is who I see. As for personality, sometimes it is quite hard to see, but I do know that we have quite a lot in common. :)Yeah, seeing someone on webcam pretty much confirms that they're not some old weirdo. :p

Scottlee
15-07-07, 11:52
Yeah, seeing someone on webcam pretty much confirms that they're not some old weirdo. :p

Unless the weirdo told his young gimp to smile in front of the webcam for five minutes or risk a beating later on.

Catapharact
15-07-07, 11:52
I know that internet relationships aren't always safe, but I presume that seeing her on webcam everyday proves she really is who I see. As for personality, sometimes it is quite hard to see, but I do know that we have quite a lot in common. :)

It still doesn't verifies a lot of things about the person. Anyone can present a front on a Computer; Its easy to act in a certain way when there is so much distance involved. You still don't know the real mannerism of the person in question.

Unless the weirdo told his young gimp to smile in front of the webcam for five minutes or risk a beating later on.

*Chuckles.*

ivannnnn
15-07-07, 11:57
Better look for from real world over internet. At times debate really really bothering

ace_85
15-07-07, 11:58
It still doesn't verifies a lot of things about the person. Anyone can present a front on a Computer; Its easy to act in a certain way when there is so much distance involved. You still don't know the real mannerism of the person in question.

I agree - spending a few hours a day talking to someone on the internet, even with the help of a webcam, is only going to show you a tiny aspect of their nature. It's not even necessarily a security issue to my mind (after all, webcams pretty much help to confirm that someone is who they say they are), but I just think that placing so much expectation in someone that you can't possibly hope to truly know is equivalent to setting yourself up for a disappointment. Maybe I'm a cynic or a pessimist, but I think 'in person' relationships are complicated enough without adding in the internet factor too

MrBear
15-07-07, 12:05
I would never even try that, it's just too far from my perception of a relationship... not being able to be together? how, then, can you know if the chemistry works?

I got a friend, a really sweet young lady (well, I had a crush on her once, but that was a dead end) who I have a lot of contact with... we mostly write each other long text messages on the phone and then we go to the movies once or twice a month and/or find a nice cafť and talk for hours, but here's the thing: for some odd reason, we talk much better when we're text-messaging each other, and when we're actually together it's different... not like embarassing silences, but I'm mostly unable to make the same kind of jokes/funny comments I do via sms..

it's hard to explain, but my point is that even though we're good friends and enjoy hanging out, we only click 80 % when we're physically together even though 'the clicking' is at 100 % when we're apart....

oh, sorry for the long post :) hope it works out for you, though! and 8 months, that's a long time... but it'll most likely be worth the wait :tmb:

Ikas90
15-07-07, 12:07
I am pretty aware that some people from the internet might not be what they seem like, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. I'd call it a necessary risk, I think. Perhaps I shouldn't worry too much about it until those 8 months come, but it is still a long wait for a teenager. I know that being patient and persistent is one of the best things to do, because it is very easy to get frustrated in putting so much effort into trying to keep the relationship stable, and yet, it is still so far away.

Catapharact
15-07-07, 12:11
I am pretty aware that some people from the internet might not be what they seem like, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. I'd call it a necessary risk, I think.

No it is not. You're staking too much just to meet a person with so many variables working against you. Viable risk? Not in the least bit unless offcourse you're willing to meet up with the person and such.

However, be ready for the negitive impact when it hits ya.

Ikas90
15-07-07, 12:18
No it is not. You're staking too much just to meet a person with so many variables working against you. Viable risk? Not in the least bit unless offcourse you're willing to meet up with the person and such.

However, be ready for the negitive impact when it hits ya.

I'm well prepared. :D

I suppose I will have enough cash to make it back home, but the real pain would be if she doesn't turn out like what she seems. At the moment, she seems like everything. Pretty teenagerish, I know. :p

Catapharact
15-07-07, 12:20
^

Future Loner in the making people... *Sigh.*

Well all the best luck to ya, but remember... if it doesn't works out; Don't say I didn't warn ya.

jamieoliver22
15-07-07, 12:32
Future Loner in the making people... *Sigh.*

Very quick to judge people aren't you?

Catapharact
15-07-07, 12:35
Very quick to judge people aren't you?

Keeeyep. Ironically, you jumped to conclusions and actually thought I was being serious *wacks you.*

MrBear
15-07-07, 12:35
^^ Yeah.. I'd say: be positive :) and if it doesn't work out you'll have learnt a thing or two, but let's not worry about that until there's something to worry about :)

Edit: oh, I missed the sarcasm too... oh well :)

bloodstormaoa
15-07-07, 12:42
I wish you and your love all the best. It must be so hard, but love, IMO is worth risking anything. Yes I am a completely, soppy romantic...

I personally couldn't do the long distance thing, being apart from my gf for a week kills us both.

peffect
15-07-07, 12:47
I believe in falling in love trough the Internet is possible. I say that because I'm in love with someone living oceans away from me. I think the question isn't about if the relationship is gonna work out or not, because I think that falling in love isn't something we choose to feel. It's up to you to find out if you really love him or you're just wasting time...
It's true that you can't know everything about the person you're in love with through the Internet and yuo can't be sure of what does this person look like in real, and it may not be that sweet perfect person you're making up in your mind but I think that only time will decide.
It also depends of what are the things you're talking about, other than "I love you, I miss you, bla bla..." because you have to know alot about that person to see if there's really material attraction and real harmony... And if you find that what you're talking about does really have a weigh and there's a sorta communication, I think you CAN know wether you're truly in love with the person or not.
I don't talk about people who lie or talk just for fun or to spend time, or even to fill the gap they have due to a failed relationship or something...

Concerning the appearance, to me a webcam or some pics are sufficiant enough to see how does the person look like.
I saw that person in cam many times, have many pics of them, heard them voice and LOVED it! And briefly, I'm looking forward to meet that person!
I think it's only the love I'm feeling towards this person that allows me to wait and bear the distance.

Unless the weirdo told his young gimp to smile in front of the webcam for five minutes or risk a beating later on.

The person really must have no brain to fall in such traps.

Jacob x5
15-07-07, 12:48
Internet relationships always lead to misery in the end. The sad truth is I've been involved in two online relationships, and looking back on them now I realise that a fair chunk of the time was fairly miserable. If you're in such a relationship now, just really think about it. Deep down, are you really happy?

jamieoliver22
15-07-07, 12:51
If you're in such a relationship now, just really think about it. Deep down, are you really happy?

I really am.

tr_mitch
15-07-07, 13:09
I think 'Internet Relationships' are for people who struggle to actually have or get a relationship in real life, in my opinion of course.

jamieoliver22
15-07-07, 13:17
struggle to actually have or get a relationship in real life, in my opinion of course.

Welcome to my world..

Tomb Raider Master
15-07-07, 13:29
If both of you love each other, and will do anything to be together, then I see a pretty bright future for you. Because, as you've already said, keeping a relationship with such a distance separating you is a very hard thing to do.

Lavinder
15-07-07, 13:32
I think 'Internet Relationships' are for people who struggle to actually have or get a relationship in real life, in my opinion of course.

:whi: I have no problem in that area, many offers, but never the right guy - why cant Drew Fuller, or Dominic Monaghan just give me a call, once?

Nah, I'm more than happy with he knows who he is. :p

Alex Fly
15-07-07, 13:40
I am an adult and I know (by personal experiences in the past :pi: ) that is possible to fall in love through internet. The few "serious" relations I had with these guys have always failed for me (not enough patience, distance too far, ...) and I prefer meeting persons of internet quickly in real life before considering a serious relation with them now. :)

Anyway, I know some persons who has fallen in love with someone they met on internet and still have a serious relation with them. And the age is nothing, the persons I know are around 18 for the younger and 40 for the older.

Well, this was my opinion... Now back to you Saki ! :cln: :D

You have told me this yesterday on msn. Your story isn't simple but if you're both sure of what you feel for each other that could work. You will need a lot of patience before meeting her.

I wish you the best ! :hug:

Cookie_Raider
15-07-07, 13:45
what it comes down to Saki is you've got to be willing to take a chance, and if you're brave enough to do that anything can happen :hug:
besides, I love George *winks at Saki* :o

xcrushterx
15-07-07, 13:55
I know that internet relationships rarely work out. But look at GoranAger and Catsuit&ponytail... He's from Germany (I think) and she's from Canada. They met at Eidos forums and are now a happily married couple :)


Keep working at it with you and Agnes, Saki and maybe you and Agnes can get married too someday :D

Lavinder
15-07-07, 13:58
-hums the wedding march-

Ikas90
15-07-07, 14:03
^ One of our future plans, actually. :D

I hope TRF will still stand, so we can announce our wedding on here. :o

scoopy_loopy
15-07-07, 14:03
:hug:

If only august.


My good friend knows that this message is for him.

Alex Fly
15-07-07, 14:06
I hope TRF will still stand, so we can announce our wedding on here. :o
I hope you'll invite us all ! :p

Lavinder
15-07-07, 14:07
^ One of our future plans, actually. :D

I hope TRF will still stand, so we can announce our wedding on here. :o

W-w-wedding? :eek: I was only playing, you are really really serious about your relationship aren't you? :D

Tomb Raider Master
15-07-07, 14:08
I hope TRF will still stand, so we can announce our wedding on here. :o
Can I be your best man? Do I have a chance to kiss the bride? Just kidding. :D

Catapharact
15-07-07, 14:09
W-w-wedding? :eek: I was only playing, you are really really serious about your relationship aren't you? :D

Just goes to show he really has no clue as to how to get going on a relationship to begin with.

*Shakes head* Teenagers.

Jacob x5
15-07-07, 14:11
I really am.

So you're happy now, but every few days or so, just think about it, and after a few weeks or months, if you ever get a teeny, tiny twinge of doubt, just for a second, don't ignore it like I did.

Ikas90
15-07-07, 14:11
:mis: Of course you'll all be invited, sure TRM you can be my best man :D

Some people know who it is already, but please don't say it... Let her come in here. :D

mizuno_suisei
15-07-07, 14:13
Just goes to show he really has no clue as to how to get going on a relationship to begin with.

*Shakes head* Teenagers.

Pfft, sounds like you were never a teenager.

Anywho, I have had internet relations, with guys, but I have never been with a guy in real life. I currently have a girlfriend so I cant do no internet dating.

jamieoliver22
15-07-07, 14:14
So you're happy now, but every few days or so, just think about it, and after a few weeks or months, if you ever get a teeny, tiny twinge of doubt, just for a second, don't ignore it like I did.

I have been happy for months, I love her to bits and there is nothing that can stop that. We both love each other very much and we are happy with our relationship. I don't have any doubt at all and can't wait to meet up with her.

And how about a double wedding anyone? :p Kidding, of course :p

MiCkiZ88
15-07-07, 14:14
:mis: Of course you'll all be invited, sure TRM you can be my best man :D


Oh! I thought you wanted me to be your best man! You.. you.. big meanie!

*joking* :p

Catapharact
15-07-07, 14:15
Pfft, sounds like you were never a teenager.

Was. And my expectations were realistic; I.e. Secure my independence first and then go seek out a relationship.

Joe_16
15-07-07, 14:16
Ah, first loves eh.

Lavinder
15-07-07, 14:16
Just goes to show he really has no clue as to how to get going on a relationship to begin with.

*Shakes head* Teenagers.

Let them be, who knows, they might surprise you - don't be such a pessimist :ton:

So you're happy now, but every few days or so, just think about it, and after a few weeks or months, if you ever get a teeny, tiny twinge of doubt, just for a second, don't ignore it like I did.


Thanks :p If you don't mind, I'd rather you not put doubt in his mind.

I have been happy for months, I love her to bits and there is nothing that can stop that. We both love each other very much and we are happy with our relationship. I don't have any doubt at all and can't wait to meet up with her.

And how about a double wedding anyone? :p Kidding, of course :p

Back off Mr. :p

in these arms
15-07-07, 14:18
Welcome to my world..

I think 'Internet Relationships' are for people who struggle to actually have or get a relationship in real life, in my opinion of course.

Ditto

Jacob x5
15-07-07, 14:19
Thanks :p If you don't mind, I'd rather you not put doubt in his mind.

I'm not planting doubt in anyone's mind. I have no doubt about that.

Or do I?

mizuno_suisei
15-07-07, 14:19
Was. And my expectations were realistic; I.e. Secure my independence first and then go seek out a relationship.

Well, Saki being 17, Gives him quite a bit of independance, There is something he can do which is legal now in australia, which is have Sexual Intercourse and get married, So if our government really thinks that when people turn 16, they are mature and independant enough to have sex and get married, I agree with it.

Reggie
15-07-07, 14:19
Internet relationships...that's a..tough issue for me. In fact all relationships are tough for me usually (friendships are easy for me though). Why? because I'm an awkward bugger most of the time who over-analyses everything.

I've learnt (not through personal experience) that the best way to go about this kind of thing is to just remain friends until you're able to meet up properly. Only when you've met up with each other and you know that person as well offline as you do online, should you take it further.

I've felt strong affection to 2 people all the time I've been in the TR community but I'd never admit strong feelings like that. Its much simply to stay friends.

Catapharact
15-07-07, 14:20
Let them be, who knows, they might surprise you - don't be such a pessimist :ton:

You're talking to a guy who got married when he was 19.

I am not a pessimist; I am a realist and as a realist I'll tell you that it took half of me and my wife's teenage years to develope the strong bond that we have now and we did it over face-to-face contact. The level of trust formed between us because she and I could actually share all the events of our lives togather.

I love her because I know her deeply and such a deep bond only forms with one-on-one face to face interactions. Computers only form another barrier towards an environment of trust.

Lavinder
15-07-07, 14:21
I'm not planting doubt in anyone's mind. I have no doubt about that.

Or do I?

We'll see about that :mis:

Jacob x5
15-07-07, 14:23
We'll see about that :mis:

One day, one day...

But not today. ;)

jamieoliver22
15-07-07, 14:23
Back off Mr. :p

*Rolls eyes* :p

I'm not planting doubt in anyone's mind. I have no doubt about that.

Or do I?

I couldn't really care anyway. I love her, nothing anyone says can change that, including you. It is our relationship, not yours...

Catapharact
15-07-07, 14:23
Well, Saki being 17, Gives him quite a bit of independance, There is something he can do which is legal now in australia, which is have Sexual Intercourse and get married, So if our government really thinks that when people turn 16, they are mature and independant enough to have sex and get married, I agree with it.

That's the thing; I haven't seen those marks of independent nature with inhim from my observations.

Right now, he still seems like a guy whose under "puppy love." Now that is my observation and I am inclind to my views. However, I can tell when a person reaches true mark of self-awareness and independence (Just ask Mitch,) and well Saki... Try to prove me wrong but for now... I still think you need to think this one through.

Lavinder
15-07-07, 14:24
You're talking to a guy who got married when he was 19.

I am not a pessimist; I am a realist and as a realist I'll tell you that it took half of me and my wife's teenage years to develope the strong bond that we have now and we did it over face-to-face contact. The level of trust formed between us because she and I could actually share all the events of our lives togather.

I love her because I know her deeply and such a deep bond only forms with one-on-one face to face interactions. Computers only form another barrier towards an environment of trust.

I'm not saying that it is realistic, I'm saying that it could be possible. I doubt that they would get married straight away, of course, they might get to know each other in "real life". And progress their relationship until they get married, like you and your beautiful wife :p

Catapharact
15-07-07, 14:26
I'm not saying that it is realistic, I'm saying that it could be possible. I doubt that they would get married straight away, of course, they might get to know each other in "real life". And progress their relationship until they get married, like you and your beautiful wife :p

I would say 14% chance of success by the attitude I am seeing but hey... I am gonna sit back and see this one play out. I have seen more mature minds fail at this but lets see if a 17 yr. old can pull it off.

Jacob x5
15-07-07, 14:28
No, it's not my relationship, Jamie. I spoke the same words as you once. I'm not saying I'm better than you or that one day you will 'see the light'. Like Catapharact says, let's see how it plays out. :ton:

CuteKittenlol
15-07-07, 14:28
*sigh* :(

Reggie
15-07-07, 14:29
^ what's wrong?

Lavinder
15-07-07, 14:30
I would say 14% chance of success by the attitude I am seeing but hey... I am gonna sit back and see this one play out. I have seen more mature minds fail at this but lets see if a 17 yr. old can pull it off.

Shall I make the popcorn? You get the tissues.

Andariel
15-07-07, 14:30
i think it's better to start off as friends. if the other person lives relatively close then i say it's worth starting a relationship. if they don't live close then it's not worth it.

Stel4eto
15-07-07, 14:32
Internet is the best place to find someone to eat, not to fall in love. I remember a case a couple of years ago, when a man found a "meal" on the net - a human meal. Two men arranged a meeting with a lethal end for the one of them. The "meal" voluntarily agreed to become a juicy supper for the other man - the cannibal. This is quite of relation, don't U think. The first dish was his leg, the other parts were found by the police in the fridge after a day or two.
What a romantic story!!!!!!
AH.....

Reggie
15-07-07, 14:35
^ that's a tad cynical don't you think?

Mad Tony
15-07-07, 14:35
*sigh* :(Oh Alex :( :hug:

Look, I know how you're feeling, and it must be hard after what's just happened but I assure you things will return back to the way they were eventually. :hug: :)

Ikas90
15-07-07, 14:37
*sigh* :(

I'm deeply sorry to hear about your failure with the member you were in love with, Alex. :hug: My heart goes out to you. I hope it's not too harsh, we're here to support you. :hug:

mizuno_suisei
15-07-07, 14:39
Well, you must think that it could happen, there are pedofiles, killers, sickos out there. Im banned from the internet completely (But I bought a cord and i plug it in at night when they are all asleep) because of TRF, Because I was talking to total strangers, but my family dont realise that If any thing bad goes on within the forum, something will definately be done about it. I stil lcant believe that my family still thinks MSN is a chat room, I have explained so many times that MSN Messenger is used to talk to the contacts you have added.

I will stop posting in this thread, as its just full of stuck-up "I found a real life partner, so I didnt need the internet to do it, so i will just pick on the people who use the internet to do it." attitude'd people :wve:

Good luck Saki :wve:

Catapharact
15-07-07, 14:42
I will stop posting in this thread, as its just full of stuck-up "I found a real life partner, so I didnt need the internet to do it, so i will just pick on the people who use the internet to do it." attitude'd people.

And you're quite the emo to consider that sort of attitude so yes please do leave and do let some people here give a few good counter-arguments to the dicussion at hand.

Alive_and_Funky
15-07-07, 14:42
I've not really got any problems with internet relationships. Sure, sometimes they work, and sometimes they don't, but that's just like with any other kind of relationships. And there's also a risk that everything won't turn out like you planned, but, you know, sometimes the reward is worth the risk (of course, sometimes it isn't, too). I partly agree with what Cat is saying, but I also partly agree with those who are disagreeing with him.

jamieoliver22
15-07-07, 14:44
And you're quite the emo to consider that sort of attitude so yes please do leave and do let some people here give a few good counter-arguments to the dicussion at hand.

You really do come across as quite an arsehole don't you?

Catapharact
15-07-07, 14:44
You really do come across as quite an arsehole don't you?

I try my best.

ace_85
15-07-07, 14:45
I try my best.

:vlol:

Lavinder
15-07-07, 14:46
I try my best.

:pi: And we all love you dearly for it.

I'm so out of the loop, I need to post on here more often.

Angelx14
15-07-07, 14:47
As some of you know, I have been in love with a TRF member for a few months, and sometimes our relationship can be quite cruel to us. The fact is that we're 15,000km apart, and it hurts that we can't be together. I know this is personal, but the reason I have made this topic was to see how some of you feel about internet relationships yourself, or even to share your own experiences of long distance relationships.

I know that most internet relationships do fail, and are more likely to fail than normal relationships, but I'm planning to meet my dear in 8 months from today, which seems like a really long wait. In long waits like this, it is possible, and could even be highly likely that online relationships could fall apart at any time as they indeed are very unstable. And I'm strongly hoping that me and her don't have to separate.

Saki :wve:
Aww, I'm sorry for what happened yesterday, Saki. I didn't expect for you to make a thread XD I promise I will never stop saying that, I can't let you go. =)

I love you, Saki :hug: *is looking for a room*

Hmm.. Sagnes :rolleyes:
Sagnes? O_O! =O! xD

I'll do that next time you and @G|\|E$ are online in the OC :p

What's that? XD :vlol:

Ikas90
15-07-07, 14:48
Aww, I'm sorry for what happened yesterday, Saki. I didn't expect for you to make a thread XD I promise I will never stop saying that, I can't let you go. =)

I love you, Saki :hug: *is looking for a room*

Made my day!

Thank you Agnes, I love you too! :hug:

mizuno_suisei
15-07-07, 14:50
Aww thats beautiful, Angelx14 + Ikas90 = Gorgeous.

Oh dear, I wasnt supposed to post in here was i? Oh well,

Tomb Raider Master
15-07-07, 14:52
*is looking for a room*
Whooooo... :mis: :p

Clara [CA]
15-07-07, 14:54
Isn't the whole point of being in a relationship being able to see them and do things with them? That's how you grow to love someone.
I think that a complete relationship cannot be lived through the Internet, that's true.
It is a way to meet people, and to know them maybe faster than IRL. One of my friends met her husband on the Internet, and she told me her feelings about their meeting : she feels like she knew his sould, his spirit, and that it was the most important thing. And obviously he shared her feelings, because they are married and really happy.
For me Internet is a way to meet someone, to know him/her, and to let feelings grow. But talking about a relationship...

Some can hardly believe that it is even possible that people who live thousands of miles away from each other are able to experience feelings through the internet with someone they have never personally met or seen. I know for sure though, that my feelings are definitely there for the person I'm in love with.
The important thing IMO is how you both feel about it. As TRM said it, if you're both feeling something, if you both want the same future and are ready to wait, then your chances are really good.

^And, well, looking at the messages that were posted while I was writing this, I'd say your chances are excellent. :D That's so cute...

Scottlee
15-07-07, 14:57
I wouldn't call 60 miles long distance. You could cover that in an hour without even putting your foot down. People travel bigger distances to get to work on a morning. England/Mexico, now that's a random example of proper long distance. Put two under 18's together though, one from Bolton and the other from Wigan, and they think it's Last of the Mohicans : At world's End.

jamieoliver22
15-07-07, 14:59
I wouldn't call 60 miles long distance. You could cover that in an hour without even putting your foot down. People travel bigger distances to get to work on a morning. England/Mexico, now that's a random example of proper long distance. Put two under 18's together though, one from Bolton and the other from Wigan, and they think it's Last of the Mohicans : At world's End.

I never said it was long, we are meeting up soon like I said anyway. It isn't that long, just more of an inconvenience. Still doesn't change the fact that I love her, I would do anything to be with her (hence the £18 for the train ticket :p)

Lavinder
15-07-07, 15:05
I never said it was long, we are meeting up soon like I said anyway. It isn't that long, just more of an inconvenience. Still doesn't change the fact that I love her, I would do anything to be with her (hence the £18 for the train ticket :p)

Charming :p

Jacob x5
15-07-07, 15:06
I try my best.

:vlol: :D

jamieoliver22
15-07-07, 15:10
Charming :p

Hehe, you know I am kidding :p Well, at least I have some money.. :p

Cookie_Raider
15-07-07, 15:11
Aww, I'm sorry for what happened yesterday, Saki. I didn't expect for you to make a thread XD I promise I will never stop saying that, I can't let you go. =)

I love you, Saki :hug: *is looking for a room*



Made my day!

Thank you Agnes, I love you too! :hug:

See, I believe you two have real love - its innocent, irs true and it's not influenced by appearence and habbits, and WHEN you do meet up and little things start to bug you about eachother you will get over it cause you have this - and it would be awful to lose what you have over an 8 months wait. :hug:

Angelx14
15-07-07, 15:50
Whooooo... :mis: :p

:vlol:

That was for Ben, actually. He always says I have to go and find a room after I say "I love you" to Saki T_T

mattlsu
15-07-07, 16:04
I hope TRF will still stand, so we can announce our wedding on here. :o

Rushing things a bit? That is said in every relationship, online, or in reality.

I don't recommend online dating. Waste of time. Figured that out from experience and I feel stupid for doing it.

They say that there is a clone of somebody in every city or town. Find somebody you can see everyday, opposed to every year. Especially when you're still so young.

Fish.
15-07-07, 16:48
I personally have no problem with internet relationships. So long as you know the person is as they say they are :pi:

vespertea
15-07-07, 17:06
I've experienced feelings for people over the internet before -- as bizarre and weird as it seems, it's very possible. But you're right, it's pretty unstable, and many people don't understand it. That doesn't mean the relationship isn't there, though -- the feelings are real, the people are real, and unfortunately the distance is real. If you're serious about it, not even distance can hold you back.

Lara Croft!
15-07-07, 18:07
About distance:
I've never had a relationship in which my partner lived far away. I just can't stand this! I want to be able to be with someone as much as I want without distance keeping as apart. Relationships are difficult even without that to worry about.

About internet:
I had made a relationship with smone I chatted with for months in internet for several months but it lasted only for a week and it happened only because I was too desperate.

Although some great relationships have started through internet, I believe that most people that search and find "MSN relationships" either can't find a girl/boy in real life (because they may be ugly, or represent clinical examples of anti-socialism and shyness)or they are very young and get easily carried away. Goofing around and having flings is fine, but when things get serious u should ask yourself "Did I fall for a screen with letters and smilies?"

Destroyer Op 89
15-07-07, 18:13
I used to have an internet relationship and it was quite serious,the lad and i met in person,he flew all the way from Wales to see me 2 years ago in Puerto Rico,we got engaged and we were scheduled to marry this december cause we were quite happy together,however me being his first girl,,he must have gotten cold feet and ended the relationship with me,its been a month now,i still love the guy cause i flew in to Wales last december and i had met his entire family...to these days i wont ever understand from how happy we were to having the relationship end in a heartbeat,ive yet to send him his things back in the mail,as he does for me,hes remained friends with me telling me he cant shut me out of his life and that he has feelings for me,but has to keep them within friendly level now:(

Catapharact
15-07-07, 18:17
About internet:
I had made a relationship with smone I chatted with for months in internet for several months but it lasted only for a week and it happened only because I was too desperate.

*Jaw Drops.*
.
.
.
.

*Cat forces his Jaw to close.*

You can't be serious... You?!?! Desperate?!?! What is this world comming to.

Lara Croft!
15-07-07, 18:31
Hehee.... I was 16 at the time. One thing went wrong and I though that my life would end. All men I had ever since I was 14 (except for 2) were mentally ugly. Almost all of them immature and I always thought that I would change them. Why did I end up with guys like these? Because I wasn't lucky to meet more interesting people so I had to play with the cards that were dealt. And after all this immaturity, I found a guy through internet, at 16 as I said before (we hadn't even exchanged pics). He seemed so mature, I had totally fallen for him and he turned out ugly as **** ! For one week I tried to push myself to stay with him, but he wasn't as cool as I had imagined either. Internet is a huge mask for every uglyness, diseases, fears and complexes!

So Cat, after being so unlucky even though many guys wanted me, made me desperate!


Thank God my current relationship is beautiful from both aspects!!:jmp:

Catapharact
15-07-07, 18:43
And I commend you for your real out look on life and such a great recovery from an altering event like that.

Really... I mean it :). (none of the fake hee-geebe sugary remakes of this forum Lol!) Just that its quite rare to find such resiliant people on the web these days. As you can see from the atmosphere around you, I have to deal with truck load of emos day after day after day and it really starts to take a toll on my sanity.

So once I do find a solid person, I try to get to know em better Lol! So Lora, why don't we start a new with introductions:

Hi, I am Cat; The not-so-cynical being who just is tired of seeing too many emos ;).

jamieoliver22
15-07-07, 18:48
Hi, I am Cat; The not-so-cynical being who just is tired of seeing too many emos ;).

So that everyone who dates online is classed as an emo now?

Catapharact
15-07-07, 18:51
No everyone who acts like an Emo is an Emo. And well right now I am not gonna point fingers and say who I am looking at (would gladly do it if it weren't for the forum rules.)

But needless to say, there is a certain amount of maturity I would expect even out of teenagers and I get gravely disappointed when I see a forum load of toddlers instead.

Reggie
15-07-07, 18:59
Actually, I need to retract what I said earlier. I'm not an awkward bugger actually. I'm just very frank with other people and I'm real. I don't do acts and most of the time other people (my age) can't handle it. Its funny how most of my friends are 18 and over. Hmm...though I should pretend to be less nice. Being nice does you NO favours. >.<

You live, you learn (as Alanis Morissette would say)...but it helps if you're confident to start with. This is more of a note to myself but perhaps other people here know where I'm coming from?

Tomb Raider Master
15-07-07, 19:01
I've never had a relationship in which my partner lived far away. I just can't stand this! I want to be able to be with someone as much as I want without distance keeping as apart. Relationships are difficult even without that to worry about.

Although some great relationships have started through internet, I believe that most people that search and find "MSN relationships" either can't find a girl/boy in real life (because they may be ugly, or represent clinical examples of anti-socialism and shyness)or they are very young and get easily carried away. Goofing around and having flings is fine, but when things get serious u should ask yourself "Did I fall for a screen with letters and smilies?"
Spot on, as the same goes for me.

Melonie Tomb Raider
15-07-07, 19:17
Who is she Saki? WHO?!

By the way, if this helps you any, my boyfriend (John) and I met online, and things are going really well. We met in September on a Splinter Cell forum, and pretty much started talking on msn right afterward. Other than that, we played online games together as well. We talked a lot, and later started talking on msn everyday, It wasn't until December 30th that he told me how he felt. I kind of got the hint before though, when he called me sweetie on ventrillo (voicechat program) while we were playing flyff.

From that point on we agreed to pray about it, and see how things went from there. Things didn't change dramatically on the spot right then and there, we still talked like good buddies, just like before. I told my family about him and stuff, and they were extremely skeptical, but accepting. My dad right away, but it took a little longer for everyone else to be so supportive, though they did try.

In February we decided to start talking on the phone. At first I was a little nervous about this, because I was afraid I might not know what to say all the time and stuff, but he called anyway, and even though we were both shy at first, he still seemed like the same John I talked to on msn, the forums, and ventrillo. Same person, just a more shy scenario for me. It didn't take long before we got completely comfortable on the phone. In fact, we had two pretty expensive phone bills due to overages. LOL! Because of this, I bought a new cell phone under the same plan he had so we could talk to each other unlimited without extra charge with mobile to mobile minutes. We've talked on the phone every day since then, and we're totally comfortable with each other. I'm on the phone with him right now. :p

As far as meeting goes, we're still working that out. We had plans to meet before, but they fell through due to different circumstances; however, I'm pretty sure we will finally get around to meeting each other sometime next month. As long as everything goes smoothly with getting days off and all that. We don't too far apart, I'm in Arkansas and he's in North Carolina, but still, it seems a lot farther than it is since we haven't met in person yet.

Saki, my advice to you is to start talking to your girl on the phone if you haven't already. That will definitely prepare you better for meeting her. Take it easy and have fun, no pressures or anything, just have fun with it. Use this time to get to know about each other's way of thinking and values regarding various subjects. Stuff like this is so important. Oh, and don't get discouraged, worried, or anxious. Stuff like this can be hard to avoid sometimes, but whenever you feel that coming on, just take it easy. Have fun with it, pray about it, do what you got to do, just relax and don't allow yourself to worry. If you do that, everything will be really fun for you. This experience I'm going through with John is wonderful, I enjoy it very much, and am extremely excited about meeting him. I'll keep you posted if you like. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to send me a PM.

Oh, and don't think you're getting by without telling us who your girlfriend it. :p

Melonie Tomb Raider
15-07-07, 19:36
I think 'Internet Relationships' are for people who struggle to actually have or get a relationship in real life, in my opinion of course.

Depends on the person, and yes, I do agree with what you've said for people who "search" for online relationships.

With me, that was totally not the case. If I wanted to get into a relationship for the sake of getting into a relationship, I would have dated someone around where I live. However, I'm really big on doing what feels "right", and I've never felt that with the guys I've met locally. Most of the time there was nothing paticularly wrong with the guy, or anything that I could point out that prevented me from going out with them, it was just that I wasn't feeling it, and I didn't want to waste anyone's time if I already knew that there was no strong interest there.

John, my boyfriend, can relate to that as well. There have been a lot of girls where he lives that have been pretty blunt with him, but like I mentioned with myfelf, it didn't feel "right" to him, so he didn't take it anywhere past that.

When John and I met online we were completely on a friend basis. We had a lot of fun picking on each other and playing games together, just really good buddies. Later on we noticed the chemistry was there, so we though, "why not?" And like I said in a prior post, we prayed about it, and we decided to go with it. Things have been great, he's everything I could have ever wanted in a guy, and much more than that.

The bottom line is that both John and I were definitely not lacking in "choices", it was more of a matter of whether it felt right or not.

So yeah, I definitely see your point Mitch, but I think the overall statement applies to certain people, but definitely not all. :)

Draco
15-07-07, 19:37
I have way too much history with 'love' over the internet. Turns out the girl of my dreams is someone I met at work.

Mona Sax
15-07-07, 19:40
In my experience, they're only likely to work it they're not taken too seriously. The internet just can't replace actual physical interaction (I don't only mean sex, but being face to face with a person in general).

Scottlee
15-07-07, 19:40
I have way too much history with 'love' over the internet. Turns out the girl of my dreams is someone I met at work.

I hope for your sake you're not an airline pilot and Miss right was a tourist on her way back to Sydney.

Melonie Tomb Raider
15-07-07, 19:46
Oh, and by the way, I just remembered something worth mentioning. Does anyone here remember TRChik (Jess)? She hasn't posted in at least I year, so many of you may not remember, but last time I talked to her she informed me that everything is going "loverly" with her and her fianc'e. I'm not sure how many of you remember, but they met here at TRF a couple years ago. :D

Draco
15-07-07, 20:36
I hope for your sake you're not an airline pilot and Miss right was a tourist on her way back to Sydney.

Silly cuss.

taika
15-07-07, 21:05
In my opinion about the relationships between people on this forum:

As far as I'm aware, the people in relationships on this forum are all very young and tbh you probably don't truely know how you feel about each other. I don't understand how a relationship can work 'soley' based on the internet- you don't have the opportunity to spend time with them irl or SHOW your 'love' for one another- at a young age it's different because you can't see them 'offline' whenever you please...
Also someone's personality online can be very different to their personality offline, they can create a whole different persona if they so wish, it is not JUST about the way they look...
Imagine meeting this person and maybe seeing a different side to them? Or thinking that they were/are not as good in the flesh (sorry to put it so bluntly...) as you thought online? How would that affect the relationship?
Without meeting the person before hand, I could NEVER start an 'online' relationship.

Mind you I don't think I would like to anyway, I'd prefer to have a relationship with someone I knew well and could see whenever I pleased OFFLINE. Being in a relationship means being in the company of another and spending time with them etc.. something you CANT really do online.

da tomb raider!
15-07-07, 21:11
Although I have some pretty close friends on the internet, here on the forums and elsewhere, I've never been in love with anyone I've met over the internet.

Lavinder
15-07-07, 21:17
I have :jmp:

Sorry, slightly neurotic moment there :p

MiCkiZ88
15-07-07, 21:20
I have :jmp:


I'll ditto that one :p But It's hard for me to fall in love through the internet anymore because of the past experiences. Sure.. a crush is possible. Even now I have few.. but that's completely differend from love.

Destroyer Op 89
15-07-07, 21:21
I have :jmp:

Sorry, slightly neurotic moment there :p

lol youre not alone in that im guilty as charged:p

jamieoliver22
15-07-07, 21:23
lol youre not alone in that im guilty as charged:p

Me too... :D And I love her dearly.

Punaxe
15-07-07, 21:43
I'm not reading all these pages, but me and my Finnish girlfriend are happily together for almost two years now :D
I met her through the Internet, in fact by playing DOOM 2 online five years ago :D We are now in the same clan ^_^

Anyways it definitely took me some getting used to; I missed her extremely much at the beginning but after a while I got over this. We see each other twice a year now, around two and a half months in total.
It works out fine, but for a really long-term relationship it won't work out. Luckily she's planning to move to the Netherlands soon ^_^

Lara Croft!
16-07-07, 15:14
Just that its quite rare to find such resiliant people on the web these days..

So once I do find a solid person, I try to get to know em better Lol! So Lora, why don't we start a new with introductions:

Hi, I am Cat; The not-so-cynical being who just is tired of seeing too many emos ;).


:D:D:D:D:D Τhe internet mask applies for all of us, so even when u think someone is cool u may still be wrong! But u are not wrong about me, I am the coolest girl E v e r!:p

P.s I forgot to introduce myself. I am Lora and all the poopheads I had in my life made me a better human with reasonable expectations so that Panos (my current and hopefully eternal bf) will enjoy the best of me from all aspects.:)

irjudd
16-07-07, 15:34
Yes they can work out perfectly fine. Internet relationships are in no way doomed from the outset.

greendayfan
16-07-07, 15:37
the only bd thing about an internet relationship is the distance

Mad Tony
16-07-07, 16:34
the only bd thing about an internet relationship is the distanceWhat about the fact that the person who you are having a relationship with over the internet may not be who they say they are?

Lavinder
16-07-07, 16:51
What about the fact that the person who you are having a relationship with over the internet may not be who they say they are?

Some little inventions called web cams, microphones and phones do wonders :p

Mad Tony
16-07-07, 16:53
Some little inventions called web cams, microphones and phones do wonders :pYes, but it is possible to have an internet relationship without actually seeing or hearing that particular person.

Lavinder
16-07-07, 16:57
Yes, but it is possible to have an internet relationship without actually seeing or hearing that particular person.

True, but I don't really class that as a relationship :p

jamieoliver22
16-07-07, 16:59
Yes, but it is possible to have an internet relationship without actually seeing or hearing that particular person.

I wouldn't have a relation with someone if I didn't even knew what they looked/sounded like...

Mad Tony
16-07-07, 17:00
I wouldn't have a relation with someone if I didn't even knew what they looked/sounded like...No, neither would I. But some idiots out there would.

Lenochka
16-07-07, 17:09
Internet Relationships... hmm. Not actually knowing the person is the confusing part. Sure you have seen them and you might have heard them and you talk to them or whatever but its hard to decide if its either love or lust based on just knowing the person in a cyber manner and not in the flesh.

psychokitten
16-07-07, 17:53
I met my fiance on the internet...but we talked for months and then finally met in person, so it wasn't really an "internet relationship" as such...

I have had something like an online relationship before...but I've met a lot of people in real life that I've originally met on the 'net, and they're always different so.. *shrug*

pEhouse
16-07-07, 19:31
I guess itís ok to meet somebody online.. if that person lives close enough so u can meet. I met my ex boyfriend that way, we were talking online for like 2 months before we actually met in person.
But a whole relationship online? Itís just nonsense to me. All that space in between.. I wanna be close to the person that Iím with. I donít think I could ever fall in love with somebody that lives on the other side of the world and who I have never even met in person. I think maybe a little crush is possible, but that canít be called true love. It is like being in love with a celebrity.. you can only be in love with the image you created about that celebrity in your mind.
I donít think it canít be considered real love just writing each other ďI love youĒ and stuff. It is easy to write. I love you. See?

2kool4u
16-07-07, 19:37
ikas trus yourself. How well do u kmow this person?

psychokitten
16-07-07, 19:48
I donít think it canít be considered real love just writing each other ďI love youĒ and stuff. It is easy to write. I love you. See?

agreed :)

Terminatorix
16-07-07, 22:51
I am very pleased to meet you all and Im lucky to be a member in this community.

Terminatorix
16-07-07, 22:53
She likes animals dont lie! But she doesnt the wild animals! She is my best character ever! Lara Croft is my idol!

Terminatorix
16-07-07, 22:56
Yes youre right. But in some ways the inthernet is not just for meeting people and meet them i person. Its the share and piece love of the community. It is the beauty that revolves all around the Lara Croft. Lara Croft bonds us all in this chat room. It is the game that bend us all and we make progress while we play the game and sharing the details in the Tomb Raider game. Thank you!

calico25
17-07-07, 01:28
i think internet relationships can work out, they have for me and several other people i know.

I chatted with a girl on AIM years ago for several months and it evolved into phone calls and finally meeting in person. We had a great relationship for a year or so and it was a long distance one, but not that far and we saw each other at least once a week. It ended for various reasons and none of them had to do with the distance.

I would only get into an internet relationship if i thought it had a real chance of going somewhere and be something special and that i could meet the person as soon as possible ;)

I see it has a different way to meet people as long as it evolves into the real thing.

Tyrannosaurus
17-07-07, 04:53
I can't think of online relationships without cringing at past misdeeds. No, you aren't "in love". For the sake of the Dinosaur Gods, at least meet the person once to see if the two of you actually have anything in common.

When I was single and desperate, I'd met a few girls in person from online contact, thinking that I'd reached my lucky break and would finally be in a relationship of some sort and not die a virgin. All of them proved to be unreliable, and each time I succeeded only in turning myself into an asexual worm and a doormat.

But there was this one time, ohhh, where it burned the most, and I hadn't even met her in person. I'd met this girl on a personals site and chatted with her for a few months. She seemed really deep and intelligent, and I was totally into her. Best of all, she was into me too, and she agreed to meet me at some point in the near future. So I'd naively and stupidly revealed parts of myself to her, let my guard down, and told her all kinds of things which I didn't get to share with most other people. We were both busy at the time and had yet to exchange numbers or set up a date. I was totally obsessed with her, but I knew that meeting her at least once would be the obvious cure to that obsesssion. I was completely psyched until . . .

I logged in one day and she'd deleted her account, with nary a word to me. This was one of the most painful and confusing times of my life. In my idiotic romantic imagination I could not fathom the circumstantial evolution, so it never occured to me that she wanted nothing to do with me. I did everything I could for the next few months to try to find a means of contacting her. Before I got ahold of her email, I tried contacting anyone and everyone who might in some way be connected to her, and mostly from my scavenging of her extinct livejournals. One day, I got this in my inbox, and long after I'd given up hope of hearing from her at all:

"your behavior is inappropriate and unwelcome. kindly cease all further attempts to contact me, my friends, my family, or my workplace."

Then it hit me like a wave. I'd become a stalker. Well, not really, I'd rationalized it to myself. Real stalkers know the people they pursue don't want to hear from them, and don't go away after they've been warned. But at least I did feel vindicated, because she'd finally acknowledged me, so I was satisfied. I simply typed, "And my thanks for replying. I take my leave."

Well, at least this whole debacle inspired me to write this story:

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/45195575/

And this memoir, which went on to win 1st place for non-fiction writing in a student-run journal of arts and literature:

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/44687125/

If you don't have a deviantart account, you can read it here instead:

http://thebridgejournal.com/

So the moral here is, if you ever find yourself "falling in love" over the internet, then for the love of the Dinosaur Gods, either meet them in person once or step back and have one of your friends smack you hard in the face before you do something stupid.

Gregori
17-07-07, 05:04
I can't think of online relationships without cringing at past misdeeds. No, you aren't "in love". For the sake of the Dinosaur Gods, at least meet the person once to see if the two of you actually have anything in common.

When I was single and desperate, I'd met a few girls in person from online contact, thinking that I'd reached my lucky break and would finally be in a relationship of some sort and not die a virgin. All of them proved to be unreliable, and each time I succeeded only in turning myself into an asexual worm and a doormat.

But there was this one time, ohhh, where it burned the most, and I hadn't even met her in person. I'd met this girl on a personals site and chatted with her for a few months. She seemed really deep and intelligent, and I was totally into her. Best of all, she was into me too, and she agreed to meet me at some point in the near future. So I'd naively and stupidly revealed parts of myself to her, let my guard down, and told her all kinds of things which I didn't get to share with most other people. We were both busy at the time and had yet to exchange numbers or set up a date. I was totally obsessed with her, but I knew that meeting her at least once would be the obvious cure to that obsesssion. I was completely psyched until . . .

I logged in one day and she'd deleted her account, with nary a word to me. This was one of the most painful and confusing times of my life. In my idiotic romantic imagination I could not fathom the circumstantial evolution, so it never occured to me that she wanted nothing to do with me. I did everything I could for the next few months to try to find a means of contacting her. Before I got ahold of her email, I tried contacting anyone and everyone who might in some way be connected to her, and mostly from my scavenging of her extinct livejournals. One day, I got this in my inbox, and long after I'd given up hope of hearing from her at all:

"your behavior is inappropriate and unwelcome. kindly cease all further attempts to contact me, my friends, my family, or my workplace."

Then it hit me like a wave. I'd become a stalker. Well, not really, I'd rationalized it to myself. Real stalkers know the people they pursue don't want to hear from them, and don't go away after they've been warned. But at least I did feel vindicated, because she'd finally acknowledged me, so I was satisfied. I simply typed, "And my thanks for replying. I take my leave."

Well, at least this whole debacle inspired me to write this story:

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/45195575/

And this memoir, which went on to win 1st place for non-fiction writing in a student-run journal of arts and literature:

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/44687125/

If you don't have a deviantart account, you can read it here instead:

http://thebridgejournal.com/

So the moral here is, if you ever find yourself "falling in love" over the internet, then for the love of the Dinosaur Gods, either meet them in person once or step back and have one of your friends smack you hard in the face before you do something stupid.

I would have told her to go **** herself! A decent person would have explained themselves instead of just disappearing. Thats just cold and cowardly.

charliecroft
17-07-07, 09:49
I met my partner on the internet, iv never been with someone that makes me so happy, we have been together for 16 months now and are planning on moving in together soon, we didnt meet on a dating site either. The only advice i would give is make sure you know a lot about the person before you meet, (we waited just over a month but we have phone calls and txted eachother everyday in the time) and make sure you do meet in a safe place and someone knows where you are and what you are doing :tea:

Cookie_Raider
17-07-07, 14:44
What if 'as soon as possible' meant still having to wait for months because, for instance, someone has idiot neighbours? :p
I bet its horrible :hug:

Apofiss
17-07-07, 15:05
Interesting read; actually it doesn't matter how/where you meet each other, weather online/real life... in the end it's all about life-style/prejudices (thus also distance) and things that unify two persons atm and in the near future. For example; Jamie and Laura, that seems to be more/less a real thing, plus considering those 60 miles ;]

Generally (99%) 'internet relationships' with a long distance is definitely a no-no or in other words a form of a social weakness; cruelly to say, but truth.

domina
17-07-07, 15:20
I met my boyfriend of four years over the Internet. We knew each other for about a year prior to that, and I think we met for the first time about 6 or so months after we decided to be a couple.

It can be hard, definitely harder than a relationship sans the pressure of distance, but if you're both willing to make it work, you can do it. :)

jamieoliver22
17-07-07, 18:31
For example; Jamie and Laura, that seems to be more/less a real thing, plus considering those 60 miles ;]

Hehe, indeed we are :D Like I said, we are meeting up in about 3-4 weeks, and it is gonna be great :D We really do love each other so much.

And it's like, she seems perfect. I wasn't looking for a girlfriend when I met her (and vise versa) but we just got friendly and got to know each other very well. We text each other nearly everyday, we phone each other, talk on MSN/Skype, PM each other and talk in threads on here. We are obsessed with each other I suppose :D

But yeah, we really can't wait to meet each other and we have got it more or less planned out. :D

Lavinder
17-07-07, 18:38
Hehe, indeed we are :D Like I said, we are meeting up in about 3-4 weeks, and it is gonna be great :D We really do love each other so much.

And it's like, she seems perfect. I wasn't looking for a girlfriend when I met her (and vise versa) but we just got friendly and got to know each other very well. We text each other nearly everyday, we phone each other, talk on MSN/Skype, PM each other and talk in threads on here. We are obsessed with each other I suppose :D

But yeah, we really can't wait to meet each other and we have got it more or less planned out. :D

When Amazon get their finger out and hurry up with the postage!

Yeah, Jamie pretty much summed up how I feel about him :p

jamieoliver22
17-07-07, 18:41
When Amazon get their finger out and hurry up with the postage!

Yeah, Jamie pretty much summed up how I feel about him :p

Haha yeah, I am missing our Skype conversations :( Amazon can be rather crap at times. And sorry I didn't text back earlier, as you know, I had no credit. I will get some tomorrow or whenever I remember/can be arsed :p

And hehe, is that all you could say? :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Anyway, kinda spamming here to I am gonna leave it there :p

Ikas90
17-07-07, 18:50
^ Aww, you two are a really sweet couple! :p Best of luck to you both! :tmb:

Lavinder
17-07-07, 18:50
Haha yeah, I am missing our Skype conversations :( Amazon can be rather crap at times. And sorry I didn't text back earlier, as you know, I had no credit. I will get some tomorrow or whenever I remember/can be arsed :p

And hehe, is that all you could say? :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Anyway, kinda spamming here to I am gonna leave it there :p

You don't need to get credit, you always waste it all on me, then I feel guilty :p

Yeah, that's all I could say, I ain't no Shakespeare :ohn: :p

jamieoliver22
17-07-07, 18:56
^ Aww, you two are a really sweet couple! :p Best of luck to you both! :tmb:

Hehe, why thank you :D:D

You don't need to get credit, you always waste it all on me, then I feel guilty :p

Yeah, that's all I could say, I ain't no Shakespeare :ohn: :p

I do, I feel naked without any credit. And so what if I do? I like spending it on you.

And yeah, I know you aren't :p And get your ass on MSN little miss.