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Lara Lover
18-07-07, 23:16
I don't even know why I'm posting this here. It's just I have noone else to talk too and I trust so little people and I just need to speak out about my problems.

OK. Through years I've been bullied, not just in school but in day to day life. Like walking around streets, town, school stuff like that. Thats made me really self conscious in every day life. Everything I do, I think it's stupid or lame or whats the point? It hurts and cripples me and I think its affecting my friendships that I try to hold on too.

I trust so little people these days as they've done so many bad things to me. The only people I can really trust are my Mum and Dad. There the most important people in my life.

Everything I do reflects back on me for being shy and being self conscious.

I'm scared of most things. Small things like going to town by myself, ringing someone on the phone. Stupid things too and I just can't deal with it.

I'm sick of myself and my whole life. It sucks. I just think to myself sometimes "Whats the point of my life?" The last few weeks have been hard, and its making me feel low and lonely.

I have no idea if people on this forum knows what I'm on about or how they can help me. But, I just to let my problem out into the air and need help.

I just hate my life so much.

Dakaruch
18-07-07, 23:23
well i really don't know what to say... for me this forum was great since it made me forget about some bad things on my life! just try not to think on it, and you'll see that you'll start to feel better... life has so many things to offer! don't despair! :wve:

Lara Lover
18-07-07, 23:24
well i really don't know what to say... for me this forum was great since it made me forget about some bad things on my life! just try not to think on it, and you'll see that you'll start to feel better... life has so many things to offer! don't despair! :wve:

Yeah. I love this forum although I haven't been spending that much time on it. Sorry forum. Thanks for your comment. :wve: I just don't think any forum or internet website will help me. :(

Sara Croft
18-07-07, 23:35
How old are you Lara Lover?

Lara Lover
18-07-07, 23:38
I'm 14 years old.

bloodstormaoa
18-07-07, 23:39
How old are you Lara Lover?

:yik: Dr. Phil?

Laralover i've been and still go through the exact same things :hug:

sdp93
18-07-07, 23:39
You should just try to do something that will take your mind off it. Watch a funny tv show or movie (like always, I'd suggest Mel Brooks. Always cheers me up). That's what I do when my depression starts acting up (which is luckily not happening so much). Or, something else I like to do is put on some classical music (that's something I enjoy) and work on a jigsaw puzzle, but that might not be as appealing to you as television.

Lara Lover
18-07-07, 23:40
I'm not into television that much. Maybe the new Harry Potter book would cheer me up a little and get my head of things.

Thorir
18-07-07, 23:40
Try anti-depressives. It´s really not uncommon nowadays.

See a psyciatrist or a doctor, and tell them about your problems.

Lara Lover
18-07-07, 23:42
Try anti-depressives. Itīs really not uncommon nowadays.

See a psyciatrist or a doctor, and tell them about your problems.

I can't get to a doctor without a parent/guardian. :( And, I do. I need someone to talk too so much thats why I posted here.

sdp93
18-07-07, 23:42
I'm not into television that much. Maybe the new Harry Potter book would cheer me up a little and get my head of things.

Huh. Reading doesn't really work for me, but everyone's different (ever since I started writing, I stopped reading). If it gets worse, though, you should go see a psychiatrist. It may not be fun, but it could help.

Edit: It's not fun, and I know it. I've got to see one every month, and a therapist every week.

vespertea
18-07-07, 23:46
I'm not into television that much. Maybe the new Harry Potter book would cheer me up a little and get my head of things.

Not from what I've heard. :p

Anyway, I struggle with depression, and I can definitely empathize with you on feeling self conscious, even over the most menial and simplest tasks. I can't go into a store or restaurant without thinking "great, everyone's probably staring at how hideously ugly I am" or something along those lines.

Depression is a disease, not just a state of mind. I'm supposed to go to a doctor/psychiatrist in the next week or two to get help. I don't know what to tell you except for the fact that you're not alone. There's always hope for a better life.

Lara Lover
18-07-07, 23:47
Not from what I've heard. :p

What you mean? and, Please. No spoliers! :(

Sara Croft
18-07-07, 23:49
:yik: Dr. Phil?
And How is that workin out for you? :p (Just watched scrubs)
Dont woryr Lara Lover. I know its terrible, but every phase ends. Just try to go to the town alone, do some of the things you are afraid of, and you will soon experience that it isnt as you think.
I hope that helps. :)

Lara Lover
18-07-07, 23:52
The thing is if I go to town then people will notice me like bullys and they'll just comment me going past.

sdp93
18-07-07, 23:55
Ignore them. It doesn't matter what other people think of you. All that matters is what you think of yourself.

I hate it when I make up philosophies. At least, I think I made that one up. Maybe I got it from the quotationary.

Anyway, don't pay attention to bullies. They're only making fun of you because they're idiots (pardon my insulting them) and they have nothing better to do.

@Sara Croft
Scrubs will always make someone laugh.

Edit: Sorry, that philosophy has pretty much nothing to do with this topic. Here's a few:
-"The key to the prison of drepression is simply to become truly your own best friend" - Dorothy Rowe
-"Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression" - Dodie Smith
-"The best way to cheer yoruself is to try to cheers somebody else up" - Mark Twain

Sara Croft
18-07-07, 23:57
The thing is if I go to town then people will notice me like bullys and they'll just comment me going past.
Try to get a friend with you, and if that dosent work just ignore them. Pretend that you dont see, hear or notice them in any way.

calico25
19-07-07, 00:23
check your PMs lara lover.

lita212
19-07-07, 00:50
I don't even know why I'm posting this here. It's just I have noone else to talk too and I trust so little people and I just need to speak out about my problems.

OK. Through years I've been bullied, not just in school but in day to day life. Like walking around streets, town, school stuff like that. Thats made me really self conscious in every day life. Everything I do, I think it's stupid or lame or whats the point? It hurts and cripples me and I think its affecting my friendships that I try to hold on too.

I trust so little people these days as they've done so many bad things to me. The only people I can really trust are my Mum and Dad. There the most important people in my life.

Everything I do reflects back on me for being shy and being self conscious.

I'm scared of most things. Small things like going to town by myself, ringing someone on the phone. Stupid things too and I just can't deal with it.

I'm sick of myself and my whole life. It sucks. I just think to myself sometimes "Whats the point of my life?" The last few weeks have been hard, and its making me feel low and lonely.

I have no idea if people on this forum knows what I'm on about or how they can help me. But, I just to let my problem out into the air and need help.

I just hate my life so much.

i totally understand what your going through.ive been there and still am there. i used to just lock myself in my room and stay there all day n get up at night when everyone was gone or in bed. i used to stay off college. i wasnt eating properly to the point where i was classed as anorexic. i started self harming. i was just lifeless and i was just making not only myself misserable but everyone else who loved me.

your not on your own and you dont have to be. open up and talk about things. its sooo much easier. i tried to hide my feelings for so long that i was damaging myself and body.

i got help and admitted that there was a problem in my life that i had to change other wise i would have killed myself.

i came out as a transexual this year and ever since then ive been so much happier.

its such a hard thing to say and to admit to. its a life changing thing and is hard when your only 18.

Quasimodo
19-07-07, 01:18
Sounds like you've got some social anxiety. However, it's actually reasonable to be careful whom you trust. Lots of people will pretend to be your friend if they discover you are a generous person yearning for acceptance.

At your age especially it's quite common to be very self conscious (I know I was, and still am, a lot of the time).

Therapy is an option, but you don't necessarily have to take medications. Discover your talents, pursue an education that will allow you to have a career in something you're passionate about; basically, do things you're proud of, set up some goals for yourself - you'll build self-confidence.

SLY
19-07-07, 01:27
i know what you're going through...the same thing happens to me. everything i do i 2nd guess myself because im all like what will so and so think if i do that etc. i try to do something i love and do that for as long as possible..try spending time with the people you love most. that usually helps me or get you a punching bag and punch the living day lights out of it. it really helps me releive stress or pain and gets me away frm harming myself so ... just try something like that...why cant people just be compassionate and friendly without judging?????????????

tranniversary119
19-07-07, 01:33
Aww dont feel bad. I am depressed right now i feel really wierd lately like nothings real anymore. ! im scared to go to the therapist.

Fish.
19-07-07, 02:35
Trust me, I've been down this road before.

The next time you feel like this, just remember that God loves you, and He wouldn't let you be sad like this. If you ask Him for help, He'll deliver.

Good luck :hug:

Izzie404
19-07-07, 02:56
I'm scared of most things. Small things like going to town by myself, ringing someone on the phone. Stupid things too and I just can't deal with it.


I don't know about a lot of stuff, but I can definitely relate to this particular one. Especially phoning people.

I went on a trip for 10 days with 50 people, and I mostly hanged around with the same 4-8 people. Then, after the trip was over, I decided to call them, and I got really nervous, but I don't know why.
This also happens when I think about going outside/taking a walk. I have to have EVERYTHING planned out, otherwise I can get really scared. I think I may be agorophobic in that aspect, though.

Melonie Tomb Raider
19-07-07, 02:56
aww, I'm so sorry you feel depressed LL. I'll pray for you if you don't mind. I sure hope you feel better soon. :hug:

Tomb Raider 5194
19-07-07, 03:20
I kind of understand what you are going through, it happens sometimes but then you'll find something that will make you happy once in a while. IMO I think you should open up to the friends that you think you can trust, so that it makes you feel more comfortable and try like socialize more with friends. Another thing never ever listen to bullies they just say mean things to make people feel bad because they have nothing to do, so there words really don't count since sometimes they say anything to make the person feel bad (though Ive never really been bullied I know a little bit the situation).

Larson_1988
19-07-07, 05:03
Hi Lara lover, i am severly depressed too. :( And i now go to a hypnotherapist. :) it works, :) I have also tried something called acupuncture and it helped that too. :)

Lara_Lover32
19-07-07, 05:15
yah iv had the same problems lara lover but dont let it take over you life like me have the same problems like:

i cant trust my friends the other people talking

every day i get picket on by any one

i used to look forwoed to going to school but now i dont cus
of all the stress of knowing that you going to get picked on

but dont let the bullies take you over that want thay want so forget about them that ideits

and i some times i hate the world and life but en the end my family makes it all beter

but alwase remember you not alone.hope ypu feel beter lara lover:hug:

and im afraid to go anywar by my self even out side for a sec and like i alwas feelike thars some one behind me
it sounds funny i know

Little-Lara
19-07-07, 05:26
U'r not the only one. I feel that way too more often that not. It's the bad aftermath of being helpful and naive some years back. Remember that, whatever reason u were put on this world is God's. Just try to find ways to improve u'r mental health however u can. U'r neighbors around u know who you are, so maybe start showing them that u just don't care about what they think. Try to be smart about what u do everyday. And don't stray away from friends you have. Tell them how you feel, and if they are true friends then they'll help you. Find new friends who share similar interests. There are so many types of people out there, u'll find people who like u.



Laralover i've been and still go through the exact same things :hug:

Aww, I hope u are doing ok. :hug: Keep that head up high, buddy, and u'r spirits too.

The_Terminator
19-07-07, 06:17
Lara Lover, I am very sad to read about the way you feel about your life circumstances.
Use the internet to help you. Depression can come from our natural reaction to a series of bad events, or it can be caused by a real chemical imbalance in the body which affects your emotions.
If you are suffering from the latter, than just "doing happy things and changing your attitude" will not be enough.
You MUST seek professional help to help you sort your emotions out.
If you have ever had any suicidal thoughts relating to your depression, then you need to seek professional help NOW!
I have already been through this with a dear friend of mine.
Luckily he got the help that he needed and is leading a wonderful life, married with children and has a great job!

That is where the internet can help you for now.
Google "depression" or "manic depression" and educate yourself.
One of the most reassuring things in this world is that there are thousands of people in the EXACT SAME SITUATION as you.
The more you educate yourself, the more you will be equipped to deal with it.

I'm very happy that you posted about it here. You can get lots of support from this online community, even though we are not face to face friends. Seeking knowledge and support is the best thing you could've done.

I hope things turn up for you, and please keep us posted.

2kool4u
19-07-07, 06:20
Try anti-depressives. Itīs really not uncommon nowadays.

See a psyciatrist or a doctor, and tell them about your problems.

umm do you want er to commit suicide? Anti depressants are foradults it has real bad affects for teens. Anyway your only 14 theres a hell of a lot more in life. Its a big world go explore it. Also if you feel the need go to a thearipst.

greendayfan
19-07-07, 06:53
ha ha emo

jk

major lol

Larson_1988
19-07-07, 07:00
umm do you want er to commit suicide? Anti depressants are foradults it has real bad affects for teens. Anyway your only 14 theres a hell of a lot more in life. Its a big world go explore it. Also if you feel the need go to a thearipst.

Excuse me?

I have been going on antidepressive since i was 14 years old.

Lara_Lover32
19-07-07, 07:07
Excuse me?

I have been going on antidepressive since i was 14 years old.:off:
(i alwas wanted to use that:D)



OK OK CALM DOWN LARSON_1988!!:(

i just want to say antidepressives have diffrent effects on other people:o

and lets get back on topic

2kool4u
19-07-07, 07:09
Excuse me?

I have been going on antidepressive since i was 14 years old.

Did i say all teens no i didnt plus its a proven fact. You here it on the news a lot. i didnt mean to offend you.

Larson_1988
19-07-07, 07:13
:off:
(i alwas wanted to use that:D)



OK OK CALM DOWN LARSON_1988!!:(

i just want to say antidepressives have diffrent effects on other people:o

and lets get back on topic

:confused:, i wasn't speaking to you, but ok. :p hehe

Did i say all teens no i didnt plus its a proven fact. You here it on the news a lot. i didnt mean to offend you.

I'm not offended! With that being said, the effect of the antidepressives haven't been the greatest one though.

robwolf666
19-07-07, 07:16
I don't even know why I'm posting this here. It's just I have noone else to talk too and I trust so little people and I just need to speak out about my problems.

OK. Through years I've been bullied, not just in school but in day to day life. Like walking around streets, town, school stuff like that. Thats made me really self conscious in every day life. Everything I do, I think it's stupid or lame or whats the point? It hurts and cripples me and I think its affecting my friendships that I try to hold on too.

I trust so little people these days as they've done so many bad things to me. The only people I can really trust are my Mum and Dad. There the most important people in my life.

Everything I do reflects back on me for being shy and being self conscious.

I'm scared of most things. Small things like going to town by myself, ringing someone on the phone. Stupid things too and I just can't deal with it.

I'm sick of myself and my whole life. It sucks. I just think to myself sometimes "Whats the point of my life?" The last few weeks have been hard, and its making me feel low and lonely.

I have no idea if people on this forum knows what I'm on about or how they can help me. But, I just to let my problem out into the air and need help.

I just hate my life so much.
I've been living in that room for the past 34 years, and the only advice I can give is not to let it beat you down or get to you, just live your life and don't give a **** about what other people think or say about you, they're not you and if they don't like something about you, **** them - if they don't want to hang out with you, **** them, it's their loss, not yours.

I've had to live with being impossibly shy most of my life, spent a good number of years on antidepressants and **** like that, but since I've got in to this "**** them, it's their loss" mindset I've felt MUCH better, I've even recently come of the medication and feel much better and awake because of it. Just don't let the *******s beat you down, in the long run you'll feel better for it... find yourself a hobby as well to take your mind of it a bit, it may well seem weird, and you might think "What's the point?", I know I did, but it's surprising how much it helps because you're not constantly thinking about your problems.

If you're young now, that's all the more reason to try and beat it now, 'cause the longer it goes on the harder it'll be to get over it... you might also think about talking to a doctor about it as well, that helped me a lot, and no, it doesn't make you a "nutter", it just means you recognise there's a problem and want to do something about it - they say that once you admit you've got a problem you're half way to sorting it out.

Good luck! :)

KurtisLonely
19-07-07, 07:22
I can't get to a doctor without a parent/guardian. :( And, I do. I need someone to talk too so much thats why I posted here.Err, if I'm right, you can...

if you want, you can add me on msn? I mean, I am a great listener ;)
I'm 14 too, so that's easier too, to talk to people of your own age
if you want my msn adress, you can pm me

2kool4u
19-07-07, 07:23
@ Larson exacty what i meant the side affects may lead to suicide. I didnt mean it will ultimately justbecareful.

KurtisLonely
19-07-07, 07:25
you can take the half of a pill, so it won't effect that hard/much

Larson_1988
19-07-07, 07:25
@ Larson exacty what i meant the side affects may lead to suicide. I didnt mean it will ultimately justbecareful.

That's not the effect i have got, just so that being said. :)

I had no effect at all in either direction.

2kool4u
19-07-07, 07:28
noo i wasnt impliang that 2 u lol. im saying that to the owner of the thread.

Lara Lover
19-07-07, 09:25
Thanks for everyones comments. :) I just feel very on the edge, like if something annoys me, it'll annoy me 10x worse too. I don't know if thats part of the depression itself. :(

Fish.
19-07-07, 09:33
Thanks for everyones comments. :) I just feel very on the edge, like if something annoys me, it'll annoy me 10x worse too. I don't know if thats part of the depression itself. :(
Sometimes the best cure is a little alone time. Just go in your bedroom, close the door, turn on the radio maybe and just relax.

I hope you start to feel better soon. :hug: If you need anything, don't hesitate to PM me. :hug::hug:

Lara Lover
19-07-07, 09:34
Sometimes the best cure is a little alone time. Just go in your bedroom, close the door, turn on the radio maybe and just relax.

I hope you start to feel better soon. :hug: If you need anything, don't hesitate to PM me. :hug::hug:

Thank you. :)

Fish.
19-07-07, 09:46
Thank you. :)

Anything for someone in need. :hug: Depression isn't very fun...

Greenkey2
19-07-07, 10:02
Check your PMs Kyle :hug:

nicola1986
19-07-07, 10:25
I don't even know why I'm posting this here. It's just I have noone else to talk too and I trust so little people and I just need to speak out about my problems.

OK. Through years I've been bullied, not just in school but in day to day life. Like walking around streets, town, school stuff like that. Thats made me really self conscious in every day life. Everything I do, I think it's stupid or lame or whats the point? It hurts and cripples me and I think its affecting my friendships that I try to hold on too.

I trust so little people these days as they've done so many bad things to me. The only people I can really trust are my Mum and Dad. There the most important people in my life.

Everything I do reflects back on me for being shy and being self conscious.

I'm scared of most things. Small things like going to town by myself, ringing someone on the phone. Stupid things too and I just can't deal with it.

I'm sick of myself and my whole life. It sucks. I just think to myself sometimes "Whats the point of my life?" The last few weeks have been hard, and its making me feel low and lonely.

I have no idea if people on this forum knows what I'm on about or how they can help me. But, I just to let my problem out into the air and need help.

I just hate my life so much.

I know who you feel, I've been suffering from depression and anxiety since I was 12 years old, it really is awful and does make you ten times more irritable than usual.

It's so hard to try and make people understand sometimes, I never really had any friends that I can trust and always relied on my mum and dad, but they never really could do much because they don't always understand.

As for the anti-depressant side of things, I've been taking them since I was 14 years old and although they work alright when you find one that suits you, I wished I would have had counselling when I was younger rather than throwing me straight on them like they did.

Finding someone to talk to always helps and you can always talk to us on here if you need to :)

Your being scared of phoning people etc. sounds like anxiety as well and sometimes depression and anxiety comes hand in hand. I get depressed because I'm so shy and nervous and daren't do those types of things so it can be a vicious cycle.

I have counselling now and it's worked wonders, just because I have someone to talk to, maybe if you tell your parents and make an appointment with your doctor, he might be able to suggest some things that would be more suitable for you.

And if you need advice or just someone to talk to, we're here and listening :wve:

pEhouse
19-07-07, 10:42
Thanks for everyones comments. :) I just feel very on the edge, like if something annoys me, it'll annoy me 10x worse too. I don't know if thats part of the depression itself. :(

Well the most important thing is that you inform yourself about different personality disorders so you will learn about the different symptoms and get an idea what might be wrong with you.
My Psychiatrist says it is important to let your friends and family know how you feel so I guess you starting a thread about it here is a first step into the right direction.
About that annoying-part, that's how I am, like when I have the feeling people say something about me I can never just let it go, I keep thinkin about it for days until the next time I think somebody is talkin/laughing about me. I've got paranoia by the way and my biggest problem about it still is that I can't really tell my friends/family about it. It's weird cuz it is so easy to write it on here..
Oh well, all I can say is that seeing a psychiatrist may really help, cuz u get the chance to talk about everything that's on your mind without anybody interrupting you or having the feeling that people you talk to are not really listening. It's their job to help you.

Shark_Blade
19-07-07, 10:50
Well I don't really like the option of taking pills of anti-depressant, but let's try something else.

What is your dream? A legendary singer? An inspiring cloth designer? Don't give up on your dreams. Even though you're still in school, you can work on these little things yourself. Practise singing if you dream to be one. Those practices won't be fruitless. And you have to believe in yourself. No one else will do it for you but yourself.

And when you work it out, you'll be out of your depression and concentrate on your life mission, the things that matter most:)

Ikas90
19-07-07, 11:12
Don't feel so down about yourself. There is much more to life, as you're only 14. A lot of kids your age do experience bullying. What you should do is set yourself a goal, something that you want to do in life, and you'll be happy. It's easy to get very frustrated at your age, but there is always another day for improvement. :hug:

Lara Lover
19-07-07, 11:56
Thanks everyone for your comments and pms. It shows that some people do care about me. :hug:

It's better to be able to talk about it and its nice to know that I'm not the only one going like this. And, people have experienced it.

TR freak
19-07-07, 12:50
Ok I was in the exact same position for as long as I can remember until a year or so ago. Then I left school, went to college, met people who actually treated me like a human being, met the girl of my dreams and I'd never been happier. I know this doesn't seem like much, but trust me, things will turn around.

I was bullied for as long as I can remember and I had a very long depression phase. People at your age are alot more immature, thus they feel the need to be horrible to someone for a reason that I can never understand. I felt like I had nothing to live for. Now I have everything to live for. Trust me just keep your chin up and you can get through this difficult time. Sometimes I see someone from my old school about and they'll still give me verbal abuse. It kind of hurts me more now than before because now I'm actually used to not having it. Luckily now I'm not alone and I trust people around me. I can finally enjoy my life. I'm sure the same will happen to you.