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tlr online
31-10-07, 09:19
Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.

Every 7 minutes of everyday, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...
"You know, sometimes I forget to eat!" .........Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

My body is not all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said "Body, how would you like to go to the six o'clock class of vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said
"Listen *****.....do it and die."

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are - eating too much; impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

Necromanser
31-10-07, 09:21
Whre do you find all of this stuff :vlol: btw I know some female members on this forum wont be happy about this

tlr online
31-10-07, 09:22
My missus just mailed that to me :) Think she's trying to tell me something? :whi:

Necromanser
31-10-07, 09:25
My missus just mailed that to me :) Think she's trying to tell me something? :whi:
the logis of women is very hard to understand btw heres a joke about the logic of men and women (no offence anybody)

"There a re 2 books on a table a thin one and a tick one the thin books title is mens Logic the thick books title was Womens LOgic-Tome 1"

disneyprincess20
31-10-07, 09:29
:D The shoes one is very true... just you try wearing heels for a day, suddenly a lot of other problems are insignificant if you're feet are bleeding in the name of fashion!

Legends
31-10-07, 09:41
The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...
"You know, sometimes I forget to eat!" .........Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

Priceless! :vlol: :vlol:

Reggie
31-10-07, 09:52
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...
"You know, sometimes I forget to eat!" .........Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

My body is not all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said "Body, how would you like to go to the six o'clock class of vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said
"Listen *****.....do it and die."

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are - eating too much; impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

An interesting insight! :D

Alex Fly
31-10-07, 09:54
Lol ! :D

Catapharact
31-10-07, 09:55
My missus just mailed that to me :) Think she's trying to tell me something? :whi:

Get her flowers! Now!!!! Tsk, tsk Penguin Mac daddy; You haven't been on top of your game lately :p.

tomblover
31-10-07, 10:06
LMFAO! :vlol:

I've worn high heels once, just for fun. (I'm a guy.)

I swore that day that I'm gonna kill the creator of them. :cln: :p

Autolycus
31-10-07, 13:47
Rofl, funny :vlol:

Jacen
31-10-07, 14:51
Haha. Good stuff :vlol:

Apofiss
31-10-07, 15:01
lol, a nice manner to remind you something :-D

Angelus
31-10-07, 15:32
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.

LMFAO! :vlol:

maximum_123
31-10-07, 15:40
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.
:vlol: Thanks for posting, Justin

kill bill
31-10-07, 15:44
Rolf

PirateRose
31-10-07, 16:05
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him

I know, what's up with that? *rofl*

knutroald
31-10-07, 16:34
Lol! Thanks for sharing:vlol:

Beanz
31-10-07, 17:50
Hehe :D

danitiwa
31-10-07, 18:53
Whre do you find all of this stuff :vlol: btw I know some female members on this forum wont be happy about this

MMmm... :pi: :p
Still some funny stuff in there. :p

hera7days
31-10-07, 19:01
Funny stuff!
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...
"You know, sometimes I forget to eat!" .........Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
I'm, um- I'm that skinny person.

Kerrigan
31-10-07, 19:30
That's really sexist, yet so funny!:D

Angelx14
31-10-07, 19:42
LMFAO! Love them all. =D

Fish.
31-10-07, 21:55
LMFAO :vlol: Good laugh!

NightWish
31-10-07, 21:56
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g154/NightWish6969/Smilies/bootyshake.gif

Little-Lara
31-10-07, 23:48
Hmmm. I only time a woman might give weird messages is when she wants you, or she's pregnant. Since you Justin already have her..........................I'm thinking.....baby?!

:D

I mean, in a weird, emailing messages sort of way.

PirateFromPeru
01-11-07, 02:28
Yeah, that's pretty funny. Most of that is usually true too. :p

Andromeda66
01-11-07, 03:56
Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.


Its not just them.


The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

My body is not all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said "Body, how would you like to go to the six o'clock class of vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said
"Listen *****.....do it and die."


:vlol:

rowanlim
01-11-07, 04:27
:vlol: :vlol: :vlol:

i found most of the stuf to be true :p

Zac Medley
01-11-07, 16:18
My missus just mailed that to me :) Think she's trying to tell me something? :whi:

You have a missus and you run Lara Croft fan sites ???:confused:

Wow, I wish I could figure that one out. :tea:

That woman easily qualifies as the 8th wonder of the world.

Legend 4ever
01-11-07, 16:31
OMG. Offending IMO. lol Joking.

The smartest sentence in the wold: "A clever woman has millions of born foes -all stupid men."

MARIE VON EBNER-ESCHENBACH
Austrian novelist
(1830 - 1916)

Zac Medley
01-11-07, 16:55
If you are offended then maybe you don't realize that I wrote it with a sense of awed reverence.

If the enemy of a smart woman is all dumb men, then who is the enemy of a dumb woman? -only herself.

MATTHEW SPENCER LAWRENCE
a.k.a. Zac Medley
1969-present

Legend 4ever
01-11-07, 17:00
If you are offended then maybe you don't realized that I wrote it with a sense of awed reverence.

If the enemy of a smart women is all dumb men, then who is the enemy of a dumb woman? -only herself.

MATTHEW LAWRENCE
a.k.a. Zac Medley
1969-present

I am not offended. Why would I be? LOL I said I was joking.

By the definition women are smarter, because they use more of their knowledge in life and are just smarter since their brain works faster and they are able to think about more than 2 things at a time, which most, almost all men are not.

Zac Medley
01-11-07, 17:08
The smartest man is the one who knows that sometimes it's best not to argue with a woman. ;)

Anajrob
01-11-07, 17:18
:vlol: Nice ones. :tmb:

I forget to eat!!! O_O :p No, and I'm not sutpid, just bussy and lazy, oh, and don't like to eat! XD :p

Legend 4ever
01-11-07, 17:31
The smartest man is the one who knows that sometimes it's best not to argue with a woman. ;)

And the smartest woman is the one that gets rid of man who stops her in progress at time.

Catapharact
01-11-07, 17:35
I am not offended. Why would I be? LOL I said I was joking.

By the definition women are smarter, because they use more of their knowledge in life and are just smarter since their brain works faster and they are able to think about more than 2 things at a time, which most, almost all men are not.

...........

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Mercy..... Think those peroxides are finally getting to your neurons boyo.

Ummm, can you give me links that actually prove that disposition? Lol!

Gals, you know I have always been about equal rights and equal ability factor for both the sexes; And thus I get the biggest laugh of my life when I see idiotic stuff like this posted all over the web.

EDIT: Have a read:

http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/klu/edpr/2000/00000012/00000002/00222766

Ladyknowles
01-11-07, 17:59
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...
"You know, sometimes I forget to eat!" .........Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

That's so true! :jmp::jmp::jmp:

HAHA! kudos to you

deepbluesea
01-11-07, 18:14
gosh and guess what The main cause of stress is...... Men who talk rubbish


guess who first prize goes to

Legend 4ever
01-11-07, 21:07
gosh and guess what The main cause of stress is...... Men who talk rubbish


guess who first prize goes to

To who?

CAISACO
01-11-07, 21:43
Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.

Every 7 minutes of everyday, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...
"You know, sometimes I forget to eat!" .........Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

My body is not all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said "Body, how would you like to go to the six o'clock class of vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said
"Listen *****.....do it and die."

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are - eating too much; impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

:mad::smk:

Legend 4ever
01-11-07, 21:50
:mad::smk:

See. I knew someone would find it offending.

Ladyknowles
02-11-07, 06:47
How is it offending?

Legend 4ever
02-11-07, 06:58
You tell me. To me it looks a bit like that.