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Melonie Tomb Raider
25-08-03, 04:27
This is important advice for us teen girls. As we know, most of us teen girls deal with guys. Guys are a huge part f our lives, we get infatuated with guys. Well, I have just discovered that if you do not have a boyfriend or crush, then just be happy being single. It's better to focus on other things, because you have your whole life for guys, they can wait. I have learned this from experience. Here is my story, I liked thisg uy and I went through the, " I wonder if he feels the same way, bla bla bla, worry worry worry" stage. I was stressed out all the time wondering if this guy liked me because I was infatuated with him, and he was all I ever thought about. Sure, at the time I thought it wasg reat, but it really was just a waste of time. It took me a LONG time to get over this guy, and now I can say I am almost 100% over him, and I sure feel a lot more free. I have no stress now, I feel like I can say or do whatever I want and not be so worried about what he may think. I feel like I can focus on other stuff right now. I can focus on my relationship with God, my family, and I can start working hard in school. That's what is important right now. I can start worrying about guys when I am 18, or maybe even older. I'm 16 years old, I shouln't be wasting my time feeling all stressed out about guys. I feel so free now, and I feel like I can focus on other things. There will come a time when I should start getting interested in guys, but that time isn't now. I am so glad I noticed that. It took me a LONG time, but it was worth it. I feel so good now, I feel like a new person. So my advice to you girls is that right now the best thing to focus on is not guys. If you don't plan on getting married now then don't worry about guys. If you start too early all you are asking for is heartbreak. Sorry this was so long, I just wanted to help all you girls out there who are dealing with the stuff I am dealing with. If you don't like my advice that's ok. hehe. But I htink guys can wait, I wont focus on them until I am at least 18. Well, I better shut up now, I have said a lot. haha. :D

croft28
25-08-03, 05:48
Your right, i mean, if you meet a boy that you like and he likes you then go for it. But if your gonna get stressed over a boy that you have crush on, dont bother.
Like you said, your only 16....you will be dealing with guys your whole life, just enjoy being a young teen and hanging with friends and being free. But if you do get a boyfriend than good for you http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif ....you have plenty of time though, i dont mean it as in 16 is too young to have a boyfriend, everyone is different, but dont get all worried about it.

Of course having crushes comes with being a teen http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

croft28
25-08-03, 05:50
Oh and another thing, all relationships have there problems. Just because you choose to marry somone doesnt mean it will be an easy relationship just because he is THE ONE http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

caleb_yee
25-08-03, 05:56
Well,mind if i share some REAL news at my previous college?
It's a real stuff from someone....hey,not me ok..

Here,take the advice.
This is a real story of what happened to my sister.My
name is Simon and what i'm going to let all of you
know is not a joke or a hoox.This is not an internet
pronk......i m asking u to spare 5 minutes to read
about this story which took place around May this
year.

My sister,Amy(name,anonymous to protect her
identity)attended her fren's party in May this
year.This fren of hers' who called M.Kit invited my
sister on the pretext of widening her social
circle.Well,as the party went underway,M.Kit
introduced a guy to Amy.This is guy appeared to be a
perfect gentleman and behaved most appropriately in
front Amy.

Amy is only 16,innocent and naive,if i might add.She
hasn't seen much of the world and how ugly this
society can be.As i was saying......this guy
introduced himself as Eric,a second year student who
is studying in Tunku Abdul Rahman College.He chatted
long with my sister that night,giving all his
attention to her.And since he seemed to be a very nice
guy,when he asked Amy for her contact number,she just
gave it to him without much thought.She even allowed
him to see her back to our house when he offered.

He immediately called her when he reached his place
and again the next day.A friendship was fostered
between him in a very short period of time.When he
called the following morning,he asked my sister out
for a date.Seeing that he was a nice guy,she
obliged.At around 1pm,he arrived to pick my sister for
a movie.He refused to come in when he found out that i
was home.

Anyway,Amy got in the car and went out with
him.Knowing that she doesn't simply go out with anyone
and the fact that i know their mutual fren,M.Kit,i
didn't worry a lot.When they were halfway to the
cineplex,Eric realized that he forgot to bring his
wallet.He asked my sister whether she minds that he
turned back to get his wallet.Amy said she didn't mind
and when they arrived at his place,he invited her in
because he said the weather was hot.

Not a single soul was in that day.Amy took a seat on
the nearest sofa while Eric went to look for his
wallet.He went into the kitchen to pour her a glass of
drink and while he was doing so,he dropped a pill
in.Amy so happened to peek into the kitchen wanting to
ask him something and saw what he did.She was
horrified and scared,not knowing what to do.Just
then,Eric saw her and decided that his 'plan' was
failed.He lunged at her and grabbed.Amy tried to jerk
free but his grip was too strong for her.He forced
himself on her and did unspeakable things to
her........

He later dragged Amy into the shower,forcing her to
take a bath.In actual fact,he 'bathed' her,with the
intention of washing away any trace of evidence.He
even told her that after bathing her,even the police
won't be able to check out who did it.She was crying
the whole time,body lump and battered.Later,he fetch
her back to her home.Before she got down from the
car,he told her that all he wanted from her was FREE
SEX and she was lucky to have sex with such a handsome
guy like him.......THAT JERK........!!!

For an entire month, my sister kept mumb about this.I
noticed a change in her but i couldn't quite place
it.She was always sad and moody,quite unlike her usual
self.Amy suspected that she couold be pregnant and
bought a self pregnancy test kit.When the result
turned positive,she felt lost.With nobody to turn
to,she finally spill the whole thing to me.I was angry
and dialed M.Kit's number immediately.I demanded
Eric's number but she refused to give it to me.Since
she was being difficult with me,i asked my sister to
show me the way to the jerk's house.

Eric has already anticipated my arrival(M.Kit informed
him coz she is her god-sister!!)and asked his
god-brother to get some guys to stand-by for my
arrival.Upon reaching Setapak Ria Condominium(that's
here the jerk is still living,D2-3)I was beated up by
those thugs.I didn't even have the chance to see that
jerk face to face.Only then did i know that what
happened was a ploy set up by these people.

Never did i realized that a college student is capable
of doing such a despicable thing.And to think that
he's from a college as reputable as TAR college.

As for my sister,.....my parents went for a vacation
in China sometime in July and during then,a close fren
and i brought my sister for an abortion.An innocent
life is taken away when he was not yet formed.All due
to an act of violence against Amy!!

Amy went back to school after recovering from her
abortion.But she was never the same Amy that i knew
and loved.She was terrified of boys and never allowed
them too near her.

This is all i can do for her,to let her continue
schooling and try to help erase off this black spot in
her memory.Though i know that she will recover
physically but mentally,it will all depend on her
alone.I avoided going to the police because i do not
want to put her to more suffering.But i do not want
this jerk to think that he is free to do whatever he
pleases.The arms of Justice is long and he won't be
able to escape.

I am taking this opportunity to let every of you know
about this story of this jerk studying in TAR
college,especially Dip.in Business Accounting Second
Year students particularly Group 7 students for this
jerk and that M.Kit are both in this group.You should
be aware of them if you know or see these people.They
are not what you think if you know them.I can't even
believe M.Kit would do such things for she is only a
girl.Girls help girls,rite??y she helped that jerk to
set my sister up???what benefit will she get??

I also have the photos of this jerk which i got with
the help of my frens in TAR college attached with this
mail to you all.Hope you can keep away from him if you
recognize him.His real name is Eric Tham Kar Foo.He
lives in D2-3,Setapak Ria Condominium which is located
in Jalan Genting Kelang,Kuala Lumpur.I was told that
he works at Sogo.

Lastly,hope you guys especially girls can keep urself
away from such a jerk like Eric.God bless you!!

Hehe,i copy the whole text.U gals need this kinda awareness...
http://207.68.164.250/cgi-bin/getmsg/fc1copy.jpg?curmbox=F000000001&a=1393aaba4bfe9e7a268438973adda48a

croft28
25-08-03, 06:30
My God, what a horrible experience. What the hell is wrong with that guy?....it's unfortunate that some people have to be wack jobs and do bad things to others. Your right, what a JERK!!!!

The pic sint working for me though.

Draco
25-08-03, 06:49
That is aweful... :(

AndrewII
25-08-03, 07:12
Still don't see why people are so anxious to get into a relationship at a young age. I could understand the need to be with someone special,but needing it at a young age is kinda pushing yourself over the top.

The best thing I could say to some young gal or guy, is be content with yourself being single at a young age,because it would pay-off later in life. Not only that,put you'll spare from alot of the mental/emotional anguish. It worked for me when I was young, and its working for me now.

caleb_yee
25-08-03, 07:42
Poor Simon huh....Well,i was given this news a few days ago.Says some of the friends,this person exist and he's like that.The truth is out there...
http://www.campuslife.com.my/images/uploads/fc1copy.jpg

Some one told me this was a fake news...but most of them,says...this is real.Like it or not,gals just beware...

bubbleblaster
25-08-03, 08:14
thats awful,poor girl.
maby she should have counciling they are really good and they helped me with my problems.
she will find a man 2 trust, that man is skum.
i send my love to your sis.

Melonie Tomb Raider
25-08-03, 14:49
Oh man, that story is so sad. :( That's just awful. I sure hope she feels better soon. Poor thing. :(

justin
25-08-03, 14:59
Jesus ******* christ *pardon my language* if there is anything can make me tear with ******* anger omg I shouldn't have read this at work... :mad:

stephaniedp
25-08-03, 15:17
Guys, I would hold my tears over this, it has got all the characteristics of a classic big fat hoax. I receive 'heartbreaking real-life' stories like the afore mentioned every week through net chains.....For more info on how to tell an urban legend, please see this link;

http://www.truthorfiction.com/signs.htm

justin
25-08-03, 15:18
I'll hold my comment...

justin
25-08-03, 15:20
Originally posted by Melonie Tomb Raider:
This is important advice for us teen girls. As we know, most of us teen girls deal with guys. Guys are a huge part f our lives, we get infatuated with guys. Well, I have just discovered that if you do not have a boyfriend or crush, then just be happy being single. It's better to focus on other things, because you have your whole life for guys, they can wait. I have learned this from experience. Here is my story, I liked thisg uy and I went through the, " I wonder if he feels the same way, bla bla bla, worry worry worry" stage. I was stressed out all the time wondering if this guy liked me because I was infatuated with him, and he was all I ever thought about. Sure, at the time I thought it wasg reat, but it really was just a waste of time. It took me a LONG time to get over this guy, and now I can say I am almost 100% over him, and I sure feel a lot more free. I have no stress now, I feel like I can say or do whatever I want and not be so worried about what he may think. I feel like I can focus on other stuff right now. I can focus on my relationship with God, my family, and I can start working hard in school. That's what is important right now. I can start worrying about guys when I am 18, or maybe even older. I'm 16 years old, I shouln't be wasting my time feeling all stressed out about guys. I feel so free now, and I feel like I can focus on other things. There will come a time when I should start getting interested in guys, but that time isn't now. I am so glad I noticed that. It took me a LONG time, but it was worth it. I feel so good now, I feel like a new person. So my advice to you girls is that right now the best thing to focus on is not guys. If you don't plan on getting married now then don't worry about guys. If you start too early all you are asking for is heartbreak. Sorry this was so long, I just wanted to help all you girls out there who are dealing with the stuff I am dealing with. If you don't like my advice that's ok. hehe. But I htink guys can wait, I wont focus on them until I am at least 18. Well, I better shut up now, I have said a lot. haha. :D But on this note, poor guy probably doesn't realize what he missed ;)

caleb_yee
25-08-03, 15:54
Er...man,this is not my sister.It's a real news from ex-college.Famous Tunku Abdul Rahman College sponsor by government of Malaysia.Anyway,girls just need to wear their eyes on people.Like it or not...seeing is not believing ok.....it understanding is knowing...Gals,u got problem try to sort it out with friends.I am willing to help,if u got any problem.Dont stuck on a corner,and think like a fool... http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

justin
25-08-03, 15:56
The point is that is does happen, i know it happens...

Harryu
25-08-03, 17:51
Steph,
very interesting article, thanks a lot for the link http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

Cheers Aza

Webhed
25-08-03, 17:57
That's such a tragic story....I know people that similar things have happened to also, so it does happen unfortunately.

Mel, you are so right. And remember when you do decide the time is right to get involved with guys - don't go out of your way to go looking for them. Don't obsess about it. You will find the right person.

Mel, can you check your PMs?

Melonie Tomb Raider
25-08-03, 20:01
Thanks so much for the PM Trevor It was very encouraging. Thanks http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif you're the greatest.

Werner Von Croy
25-08-03, 20:21
Beat me to it Steph!
This can happen,true.But this is completely fake.
The narative is completely wooden.The anti abortion slant is obvious and underneath it is the typical conservative religious agenda which is insulting to women.
This is harmless fun but someone could believe it and then it becomes irresponsible.

justin
25-08-03, 20:26
Damn lies making me angrier than i should be *shakes fist in typical angry manner*

oh well it still disheartens me to think about it...

justin
25-08-03, 20:28
Oh and Hi Werner http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/wave.gif , i haven't seen you around in a while...

Idgie
25-08-03, 20:56
I live in a college town here in the US,and although this story may be fake,incidents like this DO in fact happen.

I feel bad for the young lady in question.Her only real fault was that she was naive,but maybe the rest of us can learn something here.

1)She meets this guy who asks if he can call her sometime.Okay,fine.He starts calling her the very next morning.Either he's extremely smitten,or he's needy.Either way,that should have been a red flag.

2)He wants to go out with her that same day.Again,he's either very infatuated or very needy.

3)He comes to her house,but won't come in.Why?That's the question I would have been asking myself.Another red flag.

I'm not trying to blame the victim here.Again,she was young and naive.All I'm saying is that common sense and experience would have gone a long way here.In a perfect world,men would not rape,but the world is not perfect,so the next best thing is to teach girls to not be victims.

justin
25-08-03, 20:58
Originally posted by Idgie:
I live in a college town here in the US,and although this story may be fake,incidents like this DO in fact happen.

I feel bad for the young lady in question.Her only real fault was that she was naive,but maybe the rest of us can learn something here.

1)She meets this guy who asks if he can call her sometime.Okay,fine.He starts calling her the very next morning.Either he's extremely smitten,or he's needy.Either way,that should have been a red flag.

2)He wants to go out with her that same day.Again,he's either very infatuated or very needy.

3)He comes to her house,but won't come in.Why?That's the question I would have been asking myself.Another red flag.

I'm not trying to blame the victim here.Again,she was young and naive.All I'm saying is that common sense and experience would have gone a long way here.In a perfect world,men would not rape,but the world is not perfect,so the next best thing is to teach girls to not be victims.Well spoken http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

Trinity34
25-08-03, 21:06
Originally posted by Idgie:
In a perfect world,men would not rape,but the world is not perfect,so the next best thing is to teach girls to not be victims.And don't forget to teach men how to control their anger.

Draco
25-08-03, 22:22
Originally posted by Trinity34:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Idgie:
In a perfect world,men would not rape,but the world is not perfect,so the next best thing is to teach girls to not be victims.And don't forget to teach men how to control their anger.</font>[/QUOTE]I'm not so sure anger and rape is synonymous...

Werner Von Croy
25-08-03, 23:00
1)She meets this guy who asks if he can call her sometime.Okay,fine.He starts calling her the very next morning.Either he's extremely smitten,or he's needy.Either way,that should have been a red flag.

It could be that he`s interested,not exactly a crime?He calls her either because he has a bad memory or he`s just polite,he has asked to call so what is the point of leaving it for a month?

2)He wants to go out with her that same day.Again,he's either very infatuated or very needy.

Maybe he wanted to go out with her straight away but thought it better to chat first rather than asking her at a bad time and rush her decision.Or maybe an unexpected window occured in his schedule that left him free to call and her told her that he was free then?

3)He comes to her house,but won't come in.Why?That's the question I would have been asking myself.Another red flag.

With your suspicions in overdrive do you blame him?He may not of felt comfortable being alone with her,especially as you`ve already found him guilty from day one.Of course rapists frequently like to stand on doorsteps in full view of witnesses,Right?
The trouble of red flags is that you frequently attract a lot of bull? ;)

btw hi justin been here a while now after my ordeal with aod http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/wave.gif

Trinity34
25-08-03, 23:10
Originally posted by Draco:
I'm not so sure anger and rape is synonymous...Then what would you call it Draco? It sure isn't sexual.

Webhed
25-08-03, 23:15
Rape is generally about power, and exercising that power over the victim. And, you are quite right, has nothing to do with sex.

AndrewII
26-08-03, 00:05
Rape by all means is wrong. I could carless if its all power or **** like that,rape or forcing an individual against their will by any means is wrong,and its one thing I don't tolerate.

Idgie
26-08-03, 12:58
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Werner Von Croy:
It could be that he`s interested,not exactly a crime?[QB]

No,it's not,At least it wasn't at that point.

[QB}He calls her either because he has a bad memory or he`s just polite,he has asked to call so what is the point of leaving it for a month?[QB]

I think you may be missing the point.Yes,he did ask if he could call her and that was fine.The point is that one generally does not get someone's # on Friday night and then call early Saturday morning.There's an etiquette to these things,and at the very least,he should have chilled for a day or so,give the girl time to miss him.

[QB]Maybe he wanted to go out with her straight away but thought it better to chat first rather than asking her at a bad time and rush her decision.Or maybe an unexpected window occured in his schedule that left him free to call and her told her that he was free then?[QB]

An unexpected window occurred in his schedule,so he decided to rape her sooner than later?Wasn't that thoughtful of him?For a brutal rapist,he sure seems to be time-efficient,I'll give him that.

[QB]With your suspicions in overdrive do you blame him?[QB]

Yes,because if he's as considerate towards this girl as you'd like to make him out to be,then he would also be aware that a 16-17 year old girl might be a little uncomfrtable withan older guy and he would want to do what he could to alleviate any concerns that she or her family might have.

[QB]He may not of felt comfortable being alone with her,especially as you`ve already found him guilty from day one.[QB]

Well,he was,wasn't he?So,are you saying that if this girl were nicer to this guy that he would not have raped her?

[QB]Of course rapists frequently like to stand on doorsteps in full view of witnesses,Right?[QB]

Occasionally,yes.Victims are sometimes raped in their own neighborhoods and even their own homes.

[QBThe trouble of red flags is that you frequently attract a lot of bull? ;)

And the trouble with your reasoning is that you,like a lot of people,want to blame the victim.Like I said,the girl in question was young and naive,but your attempt to champion the attacker shows that she's not the only naive one here.

justin
26-08-03, 13:27
webhed is right, it's more about being more powerful than someone, which is really low...

Werner Von Croy
26-08-03, 17:22
Webhed is right too.
Idgie i`m sorry to be pretending to miss your point,i do get it honest.The reason i`m being facetious is because this story is just that,a story i.e. not true.
I get your points about the naive girl though i can`t understand how your advice will help as it relies on events which have already happened.Your point seems to revolve around"He was guilty because he raped her"Well yes he did but, she only knew that AFTER it happened .It`s a bit like a parachute, you only know it won`t open after you`ve tried it.Too late!!As for etiquette leaving someone for a while after showing an interest may keep them interested but it is also shows a certain immaturity?There is nothing wrong with showing an interest and teenage girls or anyone else shouldn`t feel these are dangerous signs.These are all assumptions ,you`re guessing!
In this case you were right,but if someone passed all your tests would you still say "trust them"?Of course you wouldn`t but you don`t make that clear.
I do have sympathy for the victim ,what makes you think i don`t?But,i also believe in being innocent till proven guilty which you seem to forget.
You stop things like this happening by being vigilant and careful, not by prepackaged freeze dried psychology.
I hope we can still be friends nevertheless. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif

caleb_yee
26-08-03, 17:26
Well,my opinion...
Rape is the feeling of satisfying one's own lust by forcing and having one in bondage.Victims are much prefered to struggle and it makes the GAME looks more challenging for rapist.The feeling of taking control of the victim will satisfy the rapist.Conclusion,rapist is psycho who doesnt know how to please a women and ask please...

Idgie
26-08-03, 18:51
Werner-Hey,no problem here. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

I get your point and I think I see what you mean.Yes,one should not go through life never trusting anyone.That's true.My counter to that would be that trust is earned,not given.

His interest in her was never healthy to begin with.Of course,she had no way of knowing that,but the signs were there.

Make of it what you will.

Werner Von Croy
26-08-03, 19:57
http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/wave.gif

Maureen Errant
26-08-03, 22:18
I would just like to interject a little side note here: I know that this will probably not be popular with the guys.........kind of crushes their hard male image of themselves.......I firmly believe that if men would alow themselves to cry occasionally their frustrations would come out in their tears. I've known a fellow for 28 years who is not ashamed to cry and a more non-violent person I've yet to meet. On another side, side note: If you guys knew how sexy tears are to a woman, you would probably do it more often. Nothing (to me anyways) is more erotic than holding a man in my arms while he is at his most vulnerable. Just thought I'd share.......expecting to get a lot of flack from this, but oh well............ http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

Webhed
26-08-03, 23:26
hey, Maureen - no flack from me. I used to think that guys shouldn't cry, and then I learned it wasn't true. And it really helped me to cry openly when my Dad died.

I agree with you, that if more guys were less staunch, then there would be a lot less trouble around from problems being left to build up until something explodes...

Draco
27-08-03, 00:07
What is this 'crying' thing you people speak of?

Webhed
27-08-03, 01:18
Draco - it's when your eyes leak! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/jumper.gif

Melonie Tomb Raider
27-08-03, 02:19
When guys cry it makes me wanna cry, it makes me so sad. haha. It's true though. I think guys souldn't be ashamed of crying, but at the same time I think that they shouldn't cry as much as girls do. But guys shouldn't be ashamed to cry, it would certainly get my attention. If a guy I knew started crying about something, ( Something important, not like breaking a nail or something) then I'd wanna hug him and tell him every thing is ok. So guys, don't be ashamed to cry. Then you will get hugs from girls http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif hahaha

Webhed
27-08-03, 03:44
There's always a place for a hug from a girl!!! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/jumper.gif

Hi Mel! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif

And no, I don't cry when i break a nail - but I know women that do!!!

caleb_yee
27-08-03, 03:52
Well,a gal who cry over a broken nail?hahah...well,sure do,imagine the efforts and the time kept to maintain the nails so guys can put the eyes on it...

Ocean-Sirius
27-08-03, 16:35
I'm sorry that a low life raped an innocent girl. :( However, I have never had any interest in love and relationships and in an intolerant place like where I live you are seen as an outcast if you don't go and get dates/party at night. It don't bother me, as I like being alone but I think it is sad when society cannot accept differences as positive. It is sometimes a desire to fit in that makes some girls desperate for love. My goals and ambitions are my true love. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif