PDA

View Full Version : Is There Any Way To Help My Mom?


TombFreak
19-01-08, 19:13
My mom always says, ( when an ugly woman is on T.V. ) " Wow, she's way more prettier than me. " My mom keeps saying she's ugly and that 50 year-old women are prettier then her. Is there any way to raise her self-esteem? I've told to stand in front of the mirror and just talk to herself. But she won't do it!

Lara Croft!
19-01-08, 19:30
You should tell her that each person has his own beauty. She must surely have sth pretty on her.... Face, body, hair, eye color .... anything! Explain that most of the women she sees in the media are fake and sometimes miserable in their personal life! Tell her that she is the most beautiful mum ever... Dealing with a woman's low self-esteem is a very delicate matter. Whatever you do don't lie to her (for example if she has some extra weight, don't say "Your waist is as big as Lara's") Distort truth a bit but not entirely... Perhaps a shopping therapy and a day in hair and nail salons is what she needs to feel pretty again!

Thorir
19-01-08, 19:30
Hmm, itīs difficult to raise someones selfesteem...
Hmm... :/

What about having a girlie-day with maybe ice cream, romantic movie, and a make-over? :D Make-up, nice clothes, maybe do something with her hair... :)

It could at least be FUN. :)

Maybe look at some make-up book to get some tips. :)

Oh, and NORMAL 50 year old women, donīt appear on TV or magazines. ;)

TombFreak
19-01-08, 19:42
That's the prob. My mom doesn't like to wear makeup, she wears heels and jucy coture bags and whats in style. She doesn't do nail salons spas or anything. Though she is going on electrolisis. (sp?) So I'll think she'll feel better after removing those hairs from her upper lip.

Quasimodo
19-01-08, 19:43
You should tell her that each person has his own beauty. She must surely have sth pretty on her.... Face, body, hair, eye color .... anything! Explain that most of the women she sees in the media are fake and sometimes miserable in their personal life! Tell her that she is the most beautiful mum ever... Dealing with a woman's low self-esteem is a very delicate matter. Whatever you do don't lie to her (for example if she has some extra weight, don't say "Your waist is as big as Lara's") Distort truth a bit but not entirely... Perhaps a shopping therapy and a day in hair and nail salons is what she needs to feel pretty again!

True. A lot of celebrities wouldn't look half as fabulous without photoshop!

You could compliment her on being a great mom and good person, which counts way more than looks :tmb:

Thorir
19-01-08, 20:01
Hm... Well, she doesnīt need to wear a ton of make-up, but a little foundation and SIMPLE eye-make up can do wonders. :)

It IS difficult if she doesnīt want to, though... :/

TombFreak
19-01-08, 20:05
She would like to try bare minerals.

Thorir
19-01-08, 20:10
Maybe buy some for her?
Or maybe a book with make-up tips?

I think you could try it together, it would be fun. :)
Iīm a guy, and Iīve put make-up on my mum and aunt a few times, and they looked great. :D You donīt have to use it every day. Just once for fun. :)

Female friends were also very satisfied when I put make-up on them. :D

TombFreak
19-01-08, 20:26
Thanks! I'll try!:D

Twilight
19-01-08, 20:28
i dunno if this will help her. but i did this once:

i was putting on makeup everyday, and i wanted to stop so i put on a whole bunch of over-did makeup on. then washed it all off and felt so natural and beautiful in my own skin. and i havent worn makeup since.
(except for a performance or some costume)

myrmaad
19-01-08, 20:31
My mom always says, ( when an ugly woman is on T.V. ) " Wow, she's way more prettier than me. " My mom keeps saying she's ugly and that 50 year-old women are prettier then her. Is there any way to raise her self-esteem? I've told to stand in front of the mirror and just talk to herself. But she won't do it!

Show her this:

9omt77R2smM

Thorir
19-01-08, 20:42
Myrmaads post is very true! ;)
When you see people on TV or in magazines... Any idea how long that will take in front of the mirror?

However, I do think a LITTLE make-up can make you look better. :)
And maybe make you feel better.

Just good, clean looking skin, for instance. Foundation, if applyed correctly, should be invisible.

Most people tend to over do it.

TombFreak
19-01-08, 20:44
Thats wrong^^^^(myrmaad)

scion05
20-01-08, 20:25
Yes, i'm serious :

http://www.channel4.com/microsites/T/takepart/lookgoodnaked.html

Bumio
20-01-08, 20:52
outside beauty is such an empty thing.... the most important is inside beauty ;) its sad that a lot of people dont understand that

myrmaad
20-01-08, 20:55
Thats wrong^^^^(myrmaad)

Why??

AnthonyShock1515
20-01-08, 22:15
Hmm.

It's quite hard. It's best f you knew what is making her feel that way. Maybe something bad happened in her past that lowered her self-esteem. She may have been bullied at school or work or suffered some kind of rejection from an ex-partner or something. You could try ask her.

EDIT: My mum used to watch "how to look good naked" all the time. She spent loads on some of the stuff. She found though, that while it made her look better with all the slimming underwear and belly-hiding stripes, she hadn't actually changed and it didn't really make her feel better.

TombFreak
20-01-08, 23:23
Why??

Because it wasn't enough for them to get rid of her blemishes and do herhair! They had to extend her neck!!!

myrmaad
20-01-08, 23:32
Because it wasn't enough for them to get rid of her blemishes and do herhair! They had to extend her neck!!!

But that's what they do! When you see a model on the cover of any fashion magazine, you can bet your boots they have done all kinds of things like this. I forget who it was, maybe Heather Locklear or Catherine Zeta-Jones, someone like that who talked about how they made her white bathing suit strap into a spaghetti strap, and changed her teeth, etc.

They do it all the time for TV shows, and in music videos, too, that's why there are so many jobs for Graphic Designers in media. Didn't you see the pics of Jennifer Love Hewitt on the beach recently? She has a huge ass, but you don't see that in her tv show, because they "graphically enhance" her during the post production.

If your mother realized that in real life, many of the "beautiful people" are being enhanced to look their best, she might feel better about herself, and quit comparing herself to an impossible standard of beauty.

The most important thing for her to really rev up her own beauty is to eat healthy and exercise regularly, and that will actually help her keep a more positive state of mind, and give her a healthy glow as well.

DREWY
20-01-08, 23:36
A plain looking mother with a good heat is infinitely better than a glamorous but vaccous shell. Looks fade eventually anyway, but a good heart remains. I would prefer time spent on the family rather than looks.

myrmaad
20-01-08, 23:39
A plain looking mother with a good heat is infinitely better than a glamorous but vaccous shell. They all fade eventually anyway but a good heart remains. I would prefer time spent on the family rather than looks.

Drewy, that's wonderful, but even women with good hearts tend to worry about their looks, secretly or not. The most important thing for a mother is to be healthy enough to live a long and full life enjoying her loved ones. Healthy diet and exercise not only makes you look better, it makes you feel better, both mentally and physically, and helps you live longer.

DREWY
21-01-08, 01:07
Drewy, that's wonderful, but even women with good hearts tend to worry about their looks, secretly or not. The most important thing for a mother is to be healthy enough to live a long and full life enjoying her loved ones. Healthy diet and exercise not only makes you look better, it makes you feel better, both mentally and physically, and helps you live longer.


I'm looking from a sibling's point of view. As long as a mother loves and nurtures - looks don't matter. Maybe more mothers need to hear it more often.
Yes healthy diet and exercise are important - as is feeling better, but I'm saying to reinforce her positives, rather than focusing on less important things. Looks don't make you a better mother. May be nice, but comes a distant second to the job.
TombFreak, to me, your mother just needs positive reinforcment.

myrmaad
21-01-08, 01:20
I'm looking from a sibling's point of view. As long as a mother loves and nurtures - looks don't matter. Maybe more mothers need to hear it more often.
Yes healthy diet and exercise are important - as is feeling better, but I'm saying to reinforce her positives, rather than focusing on less important things. Looks don't make you a better mother. May be nice, but comes a distant second to the job.
TombFreak, to me, your mother just needs positive reinforcment.

You say you're looking from a sibling's point of view, and I'm trying to understand. All my sisters are mothers, also, and I was thinking of them as well as me, when I wrote my responses. Maybe you meant you were looking from a child's point of view. The question was "My mom keeps saying she's ugly and that 50 year-old women are prettier then her. Is there any way to raise her self-esteem?"

It is the mother in this situation who is focusing on her looks. Not her kid who's asking us for helpful ideas. No one here has even come close to saying that looks make anyone a better mother, except you, reading something into it that isn't there.

As a woman, myself, and a mother, and a sister and friend to many other mothers, the best possible advice is to encourage a mother to do the things that make her feel better about herself, and that is foremost getting exercise, which will help her feel better about herself no matter what, and to eat more healthy foods which also help your state of mind. I'm not talking about "losing weight" by the way. I'm talking about the simple fact that exercise boosts endorphin production, and healthy foods have a positive impact on energy levels, sleep patterns, stress levels, general health and lower likelihood of disease, allergies and a host of other things that steal good health away.

trXD
21-01-08, 01:49
She dosent wear make-up? The buy her some, she will have to wear it then (no mother can turn down a present from there child) and so she will get used to it. I read an article saying that make-up boost's woman's self-esteem. And also tell her she looks nice, but the only problem is she might just think that your saying that because she is ugly and you dont want to admit it.

Maybe you should spend more time with her? I know that sounds like a random way to boost her self-esteem but if she has some bonding with her son/daughter that would make her feel better. I wish i could help more...

TR 4 LIFE
21-01-08, 04:31
tell her..........God made everyone equal, from the ugliest to the good looking.......it don't matter what's on your outside....it's who you are in the inside. For example: I can name several people who arn't good looking.....but I know they havn't screwed up thier lives as bad as britney spears. She pretty, rich, and famous.....but look at her life....she isn't living happy! And if anyone makes fun of her, tell them the rules of karma!!! :D

Quasimodo
21-01-08, 04:36
tell her..........God made everyone equal, from the ugliest to the good looking.......it don't matter what's on your outside....it's who you are in the inside. For example: I can name several people who arn't good looking.....but I know they havn't screwed up thier lives as bad as britney spears. She pretty, rich, and famous.....but look at her life....she isn't living happy! And if anyone makes fun of her, tell them the rules of karma!!! :D

Your sentiment is in the right place, but keep in mind that good looks and a good heart can coexist in one person, too.

TR 4 LIFE
21-01-08, 04:41
Your sentiment is in the right place, but keep in mind that good looks and a good heart can coexist in one person, too.

right, i'll keep that in mind:D

rowanlim
21-01-08, 05:03
Assurance is one step to help someone believe in herself. Assure her that celebrities look glamorous because they did alot of gunk on their faces, natural beauty is the best. Plus, remind her that no matter how much gunk (or none at all) is slathered all over her, you'll love her anyway :tmb: