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James_Rutland
20-01-08, 15:25
I have recently been argueing with one of my best friends. He says it's always my fault starting the arguements. But I don't really understand. *I already feel Jeremy Kyle/ Jerry Springer coming on right now.*

I always try to be friendly. But our convos always end up into an arguement, my question is, is it me who needs help or him. So today i come online, he wants me to get something called "Steam" A game where you can play online and fight your friends. So the other day, he sent intructions on msn how to do it, so i went out and left computer on. Next day, i come home, and completely forget about it. I turn the computer off, ect. Then when i come online, he says hes been playing steam with some people. He says they are like me but "They are like you, but kind. ;)" So Im like okay, thanks. And then he's messing around like "I know who my new best friend is. ;)" And he says he is happier when im offline. So this hurts me, but it's true, because we mostly argue, over the tiniest things!

A year ago, i was mates with someone, and i was nice to him, still talking, and he goes "Why do you like him?" " Go off with your new Bumchum, " < That sounded really gay. I don't mean to sound offensive, but he was treating me like me and my friend were gay? :confused:

And now, of course if your good friends with someone, your gonna feel jealous "Me" if they are hanging around with "New good friends" And treating you like ****.

So then we argue over that, and i block him saying "If you want to be like that then **** off.* < Somewhere along those lines :rolleyes:.

Then we argue over me not remembering the intructions he sent, soon i remember what happened and we argue over that. :rolleyes: Then he ends up saying "No matter what, we always end up in an arguement. It seems like we were never friends, and you always take matters to seriously! :(" Something like that. And I think he blocked me, that would make sence.

Whos fault is the arguement? I personally think it might be mine..

trXD
20-01-08, 15:40
I know what that feels like, i had a simmilar situation with someone over the forum a while ago when we were working on a tr magazine together. We got into a few fights and he ended up saying that he had quit the magazine project and was starting a new one with some other person. I said "So basiclly your just starting again to avoid working with me" And he said "Something like that;)". I got upset and didnt talk to him for a long time but i guess we have put everything behind us now.

Anywho maybe you should act so rashly towards him when he acts like a total jerk. Thats what i did and it solved my problem eventually. Other than that i dont really have any other advice... sorry

James_Rutland
20-01-08, 15:43
I know what that feels like, i had a simmilar situation with someone over the forum a while ago when we were working on a tr magazine together. We got into a few fights and he ended up saying that he had quit the magazine project and was starting a new one with some other person. I said "So basiclly your just starting again to avoid working with me" And he said "Something like that;)". I got upset and didnt talk to him for a long time but i guess we have put everything behind us now.

Anywho maybe you should act so rashly towards him when he acts like a total jerk. Thats what i did and it solved my problem eventually. Other than that i dont really have any other advice... sorry

I want to act rashly, i want to act so nasty, but im afraid that will light a fire and kill our friendship, so it can never be put back together. < That sounded so pathetic, but hey. :p Who was that member.. I think i know who your talking about.

trXD
20-01-08, 15:44
I want to act rashly, i want to act so nasty, but im afraid that will light a fire and kill our friendship, so it can never be put back together. < That sounded so pathetic, but hey. :p Who was that member.. I think i know who your talking about.

I dont think i should mention his name because it would be a bit nasty if i just anounced it all over the forum. Oh and i know you want to act rashly but trust me that will go away. Be as nice as you can, and buy a stress ball or something to release the urge to act rashly.

James_Rutland
20-01-08, 15:45
I dont think i should mention his name because it would be a bit nasty if i just anounced it all over the forum. Oh and i know you want to act rashly but trust me that will go away. Be as nice as you can, and buy a stress ball or something to release the urge to act rashly.

Well this might be a clue, he could also be watching this right now, "That means, he's a member" So PM me who it is please. :o

trXD
20-01-08, 15:46
Well this might be a clue, he could also be watching this right now, "That means, he's a member" So PM me who it is please. :o

Look im not going to tell you, sorry but i think that would be a bit harsh.

CuteKittenlol
20-01-08, 15:49
Yeah, this has happened to me before, well, with two people, both best friends. With one person, I ended up having a break from seeing her, because the arguing was wayyy too much. Then we started talking again after a couple of weeks, and we haven't argued since.
In the other case, things just kinda, sorted themselves out, mainly because I've learned to not get annoyed over things that mean nothing. I think since that happened, I've only gone off twice, once because it was relevant and the other because I was already wound up XD

So, maybe a break from this person? Or you could both try to let certain things slide, it's very difficult, but if you just be nice about things instead of flipping out then the other person should hopefully do that too. Perhaps you should be the bigger person and maybe apologize first? :)

James_Rutland
20-01-08, 15:53
Yeah, this has happened to me before, well, with two people, both best friends. With one person, I ended up having a break from seeing her, because the arguing was wayyy too much. Then we started talking again after a couple of weeks, and we haven't argued since.
In the other case, things just kinda, sorted themselves out, mainly because I've learned to not get annoyed over things that mean nothing. I think since that happened, I've only gone off twice, once because it was relevant and the other because I was already wound up XD

So, maybe a break from this person? Or you could both try to let certain things slide, it's very difficult, but if you just be nice about things instead of flipping out then the other person should hopefully do that too. Perhaps you should be the bigger person and maybe apologize first? :)

Thanks. Maybe we need to avoid eachother for sometime? Let things cool out.

CuteKittenlol
20-01-08, 15:55
Thanks. Maybe we need to avoid eachother for sometime? Let things cool out.

Perhaps not avoid, but maybe suggest the having a break to the other person, see what they think :) Yeah, I think letting it cool out would be the best thing to do.

myrmaad
20-01-08, 16:38
Usually arguments tend to be about "who is right" and "who is wrong". The easiest way to stop these kinds of arguments, is to let go of the compulsion to "right-fight", by going deep within yourself to change the idea that someone has to be a winner or a loser in a disagreement. You then see that opinions are neither "right" or "wrong" and everyone has the right to their own opinion. Or as I tell myself, "everyone has the right to their own stupid opinion :D -- including me."

kill bill
20-01-08, 16:43
Thats bad.:(

James_Rutland
20-01-08, 16:59
Usually arguments tend to be about "who is right" and "who is wrong". The easiest way to stop these kinds of arguments, is to let go of the compulsion to "right-fight", by going deep within yourself to change the idea that someone has to be a winner or a loser in a disagreement. You then see that opinions are neither "right" or "wrong" and everyone has the right to their own opinion. Or as I tell myself, "everyone has the right to their own stupid opinion :D -- including me."

Wow. Your a star, i completely agree with that. I'll take your advise, thanks! :hug:

trXD
20-01-08, 17:02
Thats bad.:(

lol. Way to point out the obviouse!

thecentaur
20-01-08, 17:04
maybe your friend is hormonal and just gets ticked off and gets through mood swigs whenever he can peak it

Tomb Raider Master
20-01-08, 17:32
If you ask me, it surely is his fault.

IMO, people are created that in some kinds of situations, if someone "kicks" them, they "kick" back the same way until someone stops. That usually is the problem with arguing, because it's always good to stop and let both of you vent out, no matter who thinks who is or who really is right and vice versa. Arguing in this way usually won't lead to anything good. Those comments sound pretty bad. Your friend must have been very bitter when he's saying this to his best friend. Trust me, it is possible for us to disappoint in someone we think we would never do. Is he your friend in real life? If he is, meet up with him and ask him about all that nicely.

James_Rutland
20-01-08, 17:36
If you ask me, it surely is his fault.

IMO, people are created that in some kinds of situations, if someone "kicks" them, they "kick" back the same way until someone stops. That usually is the problem with arguing, because it's always good to stop and let both of you vent out, no matter who thinks who is or who really is right and vice versa. Arguing in this way usually won't lead to anything good. Those comments sound pretty bad. Your friend must have been very bitter when he's saying this to his best friend. Trust me, it is possible for us to disappoint in someone we think we would never do. Is he your friend in real life? If he is, meet up with him and ask him about all that nicely.

He said he was joking, but i still wouldn't say that to him, even if it was a joke. Na, we met off the internet about two years ago. But we have seen eachother, and we have known eachother long enough for us to feel like real friends.

la-la-lara
20-01-08, 18:01
Don't you think that his aspect of your relationship is a bit girlie?

First of all, why does he think that your hanging out with other people as well, makes you less of a friend? What the hell is that? What is his perception of friendship? Yoke of slavery or servitude to a person, that's it?

If you hang out with others, that doesn't mean you're treating him like :cen:
Except you 're doing this, not necessarily on purpose.

James_Rutland
20-01-08, 18:03
Don't you think that his aspect of your relationship is a bit girlie?

First of all, why does he think that your hanging out with other people as well, makes you less of a friend? What the hell is that? What is his perception of friendship? Yoke of slavery or servitude to a person, that's it?

If you hang out with others, that doesn't mean you're treating him like :cen:
Except you 're doing this, not necessarily on purpose.

I feel the same about him with other people too though, thats the problem. I think most really good friends are jealous too when there best friend is hanging out with someone new, saying that they are there new good friend ect. I don't think me or him get the upper hand, and i agree, it's abit puffy. :p

AmericanAssassin
20-01-08, 18:05
Wow... I completely understand what it feels like to be blamed for every argument... See, I usually get along with people, however, when I get into a conversation with somebody who think they always have to be right, we almost always bump heads. I, unfortunately, am the same way. I like things to be the way I want them. I admit that. It's something I don't think I'll ever be able to fix... :p

la-la-lara
20-01-08, 18:11
I feel the same about him with other people too though, thats the problem. I think most really good friends are jealous too when there best friend is hanging out with someone new, saying that they are there new good friend ect. I don't think me or him get the upper hand, and i agree, it's abit puffy. :p

Then you shouldn't feel like that. You feel really nice when you're with him, like friends do, so does he, I'm sure of it, that's why he is acting like that. But you should explain to him what I'm explaining to you now, that there's nothing wrong with hanging out with other people. That's healthy and normal. And your relationship won't be affected, as long as it's strong.

Is it strong? He gives me the impression that he's insecure of losing you. He shouldn't have talked to you like that whatsoever. I would have been hurt too.

EDIT: Even though he said he was joking. Really funny, he he.

dizzydoil
20-01-08, 18:22
EDIT: Even though he said he was joking. Really funny, he he.

I'm really good friends with both of them, and tbh.. This in there eyes would have been funny.. and not only does he use it, James. :p I don't agree its funny, but they would use it on each other on the every-day to day arguments they would have. I've even had a few arguments with them both. But, in the end it was best for us to reveal who was right and who was wrong, even if we-where both. So anyway, he hasnt mentioned this latest argument to me yet. I'll question him later, but for now i hope everything gets sorted.

:wve:
p.s go on msn super quick. :pi:

la-la-lara
20-01-08, 18:27
I'm really good friends with both of them, and tbh.. This in there eyes would have been funny.. and not only does he use it, James. :p I don't agree its funny, but they would use it on each other on the every-day to day arguments they would have. I've even had a few arguments with them both. But, in the end it was best for us to reveal who was right and who was wrong, even if we-where both. So anyway, he hasnt mentioned this latest argument to me yet. I'll question him later, but for now i hope everything gets sorted.

:wve:
p.s go on msn super quick. :pi:

It wasn't funny for me either. Actually I was ironic.

Geck-o-Lizard
20-01-08, 18:28
Thread closed on request.