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~*~Chloe~*~
24-01-08, 18:52
I've been going through a phase where I cant stand any of my best friends, they just seem so different to me. I'm the only one thats into going out, and wearing cool clothes and putting at least half an effort into my appearance. My best friend recently made a **** up in her hair and its gone bright ginger, and she doesnt even want to dye it back! Also I say she should straighten it (because its layered and looks messy overwise) but she wont cos else she wont have time to watch TV in the morning.

I know it sounds mean but they all act about 8 and I seem to be the only one thats grown up, but tbh I dont think they're ever gonna be like me because my mum says there parents are the same.

But it winds me up because...well...every 14-year old girl needs a shopping partner, right?

CuteKittenlol
24-01-08, 18:56
I've been going through a phase where I cant stand any of my best friends, they just seem so different to me. I'm the only one thats into going out, and wearing cool clothes and putting at least half an effort into my appearance. My best friend recently made a **** up in her hair and its gone bright ginger, and she doesnt even want to dye it back! Also I say she should straighten it (because its layered and looks messy overwise) but she wont cos else she wont have time to watch TV in the morning.

I know it sounds mean but they all act about 8 and I seem to be the only one thats grown up, but tbh I dont think they're ever gonna be like me because my mum says there parents are the same.

But it winds me up because...well...every 14-year old girl needs a shopping partner, right?

Wrong, I hate shopping :)

Anyways, thats a bit daft really, she can do what she wants with her hair, because its hers, not yours. She is the one whos growing up by doing her own thing, not by following the pack :)

USP
24-01-08, 18:56
You sound to be the 8 year old, to be honest. Why do you care how they dress?

Geck-o-Lizard
24-01-08, 18:56
I'm with USP. They should be your friends because they're good people, not because they look trendy.

~*~Chloe~*~
24-01-08, 19:00
You sound to be the 8 year old, to be honest. Why do you care how they dress?


Its not just how they dress, its that they can be so boring! My best mate doesnt want to come out after school anymore. I asked if they wanted to come out the other night, but she wouldnt cos she's scared of getting into drinking. WHO DOES SHE THINK I AM?

I know it sounds mean for wanting them to change, but...I dunno...I want to be mates with girls who share the same hobbies as me.

PARANOIA
24-01-08, 19:06
I asked if they wanted to come out the other night, but she wouldnt cos she's scared of getting into drinking. WHO DOES SHE THINK I AM?

Well, no, that's really typical. Some people are either conservative or socially awkward and don't want to be suckered into anything by peer pressure.

Lara's home
24-01-08, 19:07
Tried getting new friends that are more like you then?

Geck-o-Lizard
24-01-08, 19:08
I think you need to respect them a bit more tbh. If you value them as friends rather than items to promote your popularity then you'll respect their wishes to stay home instead of going out, and you'll be understanding rather than irritated that they don't want to put themselves in any situations where they might be pressured into drinking. Your friends actually sound very responsible to me for not wanting to get into the party scene so young.

Seb_01225
24-01-08, 19:13
i dont think judging on appearence is fair!

i mean my hairs orange too.

and half is shaved off the other is longish! hah

they've proberly alwasy been like this you've just never noticed and now its annoying you!?

Drone
24-01-08, 19:18
appearence isn't the most important thing even tho first look and first opinion about someone is right in 99.99% of cases

jamieoliver22
24-01-08, 19:32
Why care what your friends thing, seeing as one of your 'friends' added me on MSN and all they did was to make a load of bull**** up and claim I was a lesbian (even after many attempts to actually prove I am actually male). I have better things to be doing than having random stupid 14 year olds *****ing at me for no reason at all, just because they have nothing better to do.

RockSteady101
24-01-08, 19:53
I've been going through a phase where I cant stand any of my best friends, they just seem so different to me. I'm the only one thats into going out, and wearing cool clothes and putting at least half an effort into my appearance. My best friend recently made a **** up in her hair and its gone bright ginger, and she doesnt even want to dye it back! Also I say she should straighten it (because its layered and looks messy overwise) but she wont cos else she wont have time to watch TV in the morning.

I know it sounds mean but they all act about 8 and I seem to be the only one thats grown up, but tbh I dont think they're ever gonna be like me because my mum says there parents are the same.

But it winds me up because...well...every 14-year old girl needs a shopping partner, right?

Wow...

They don't go out like you, so...their choice to stay in, not yours Chloe.

Wearing cool clothes are you? Define 'cool clothes'...Is it clothes you genuinely like or something that the rest of the flock have baa'd towards in chavvy awe.

You're the only one who puts effort into your appearance, how do you know that they don't put an effort in theirs...becuase they don't do it as much as you? Not wearing so much foundation that they look like their birth fathers' been shagging a wotsit?

She died her hair, it ballsed up, she likes it enough to stick with it, but YOU don't, so she shoud change for that reason...I don't know if that's selfish or spiteful.

She should straighten her hair because In YOUR Opinion it looks messy and layered, maybe a look she wants, I bet as soon as the Queen Bee of this sheep flock surounding you desides to wear her hair in a messy and layered style the GHD's will be in the bin pronto! She wants to watch TV instead, her choice, NOT Yours.

I agree partly about the shopping partner part, you girls should have someone to shop with, hang withi; ect, but you should'nt choose them on who looks the most like a tangerine make-up wise, who's dressed with a dental floss skirt and crop-top - opposed to those who wear what they want, appear how they want and do what they want...I think that's the way.

:rolleyes:

Titanium
24-01-08, 19:58
Chloe, you're at the age where maturity can hit at any time, some earlier for others and some later for others. Your friends are just not as bothered about looking good and trying to impress. In the end they're your friends and if you look beyond the problem you have with their physical appearance, you see the person inside that you befriended.

~*~Chloe~*~
24-01-08, 20:19
Wow...
I agree partly about the shopping partner part, you girls should have someone to shop with, hang wqith; ect, but you should'nt choose them on who looks the most like a tangerine make-up wise, who's dressed with a dental floss skirt and crop-top - opposed to those who wear what they want, appear how they want and do what they want...I think that's the way.

:rolleyes:

I dont wear foundation, and I definately dont wear short skirts and crop tops.

And Jamie, what was their addy?

vespertea
24-01-08, 20:26
You sound like one of my friends. He's constantly trying to get me to go out and do stuff with him, and I just don't want to. The more I resist, the more he persists and complains, which makes him flat-out annoying. So you might want to think about how your friends are viewing you at the moment.

And if it's really such a big deal to you, get new friends.

jamieoliver22
24-01-08, 20:34
And Jamie, what was their addy?

That Gemma person...

xMiSsCrOfTx
24-01-08, 20:47
I've been going through a phase where I cant stand any of my best friends, they just seem so different to me. I'm the only one thats into going out, and wearing cool clothes and putting at least half an effort into my appearance. My best friend recently made a **** up in her hair and its gone bright ginger, and she doesnt even want to dye it back! Also I say she should straighten it (because its layered and looks messy overwise) but she wont cos else she wont have time to watch TV in the morning.

Sounds a bit shallow, doesn't it? It's her hair, she can do whatever she pleases with it, as can you with yours. If they're your friends, it shouldn't matter how they dress or what they look like. It's what's on the inside that counts. ;)

oocladableeblah
24-01-08, 21:08
My friends don't always want to go out, but I still deal with it. My friends have changed also, but I still deal with it. You should be happy just to be around them and to hang out with them even if it's just at home.

Quasimodo
24-01-08, 21:25
How would you like it if your friends were having the same thoughts about you because of the way you dressed?

trXD
24-01-08, 21:28
Your right its just a phase so dont do anything rash
Tried getting new friends that are more like you then?

Chloe dont listen to that comment

PARANOIA
24-01-08, 21:29
Okay, Chloe, first of all, you shouldn't be on this forum posting about your personal problems. If we don't know you personally, how can we expect you to be of any benefit more than someone who does?

TrXD: I didn't know you turned 14 all of a sudden.

xcrushterx
24-01-08, 21:40
Chloe dont listen to that comment
Why not? If her friends are so unlike her and she has to comment and want them to change to suit her, then they're obviously not the friends for her. Maybe getting new ones would actually be a good solution.

Draco
24-01-08, 21:46
Aren't you a little young to be 'going out'?

Melonie Tomb Raider
24-01-08, 21:46
Well if you think your friends are boring, and you don't have fun with them, find friends that you get along with. You'd be doing them a favor rather than trying to change them.

Edit. Draco's right. 14 is too young to be going out. Heck, you're still a kid. Focus on makeup, hair, and looking pretty when you're older.

Titanium
24-01-08, 21:50
Edit. Draco's right. 14 is too young to be going out. Heck, you're still a kid. Focus on makeup, hair, and looking pretty when you're older.

14 is too young? We have 10 and 11 year olds here who focus on everything like that.

NightWish
24-01-08, 21:51
oh thsts puberty (cant wait that to be over :pi:) And I am always like that. If enyone spends too much time with me (like all teh time I se his face) i will 99% scream at him lol. I liek having space. the weird hing is that i am a girl :p

Legends
24-01-08, 21:52
Appreciate your friends for what they are, don't dislike them from what they aren't. If she likes her hair ginger, that's her choice. If you don't like it, you should stay out of it instead of being mad at her, even if you tried to help.

Melonie Tomb Raider
24-01-08, 21:53
14 is too young? We have 10 and 11 year olds here who focus on everything like that.

Well then they're waaaay too young. :p

What ever happened to girls not wearing makeup until they're 16? Used to be a common rule.

But then again, I started wearing makeup right after I turned 15, I don't want to be a hypocrite here.

Nothing wrong with wanting to look nice, wearing makeup, etc, but only when you're old enough, and even then, don't let it consume your life and be a deciding factor of what friends you hang out with or not.

Titanium
24-01-08, 21:59
That common rule kinda dissapeared here. Nowadays its hip to wear adult make up when your a kid.

Melonie Tomb Raider
24-01-08, 22:00
bleh... yeah.

Camera Obscura
24-01-08, 22:00
I've been going through a phase where I cant stand any of my best friends, they just seem so different to me. I'm the only one thats into going out, and wearing cool clothes and putting at least half an effort into my appearance. My best friend recently made a **** up in her hair and its gone bright ginger, and she doesnt even want to dye it back! Also I say she should straighten it (because its layered and looks messy overwise) but she wont cos else she wont have time to watch TV in the morning.

I know it sounds mean but they all act about 8 and I seem to be the only one thats grown up, but tbh I dont think they're ever gonna be like me because my mum says there parents are the same.

But it winds me up because...well...every 14-year old girl needs a shopping partner, right?

Well you obviously need to find more friends to hang out with that are interested in the things you like to do. Join a club or something to socialize with others, remember, you can have more than one friend my dear. ;)

Encore
24-01-08, 23:02
I'm sorry but how can all these people take the original post seriously??????????



Geez..

dreamless
24-01-08, 23:13
I've been going through a phase where I cant stand any of my best friends, they just seem so different to me. I'm the only one thats into going out, and wearing cool clothes and putting at least half an effort into my appearance. My best friend recently made a **** up in her hair and its gone bright ginger, and she doesnt even want to dye it back! Also I say she should straighten it (because its layered and looks messy overwise) but she wont cos else she wont have time to watch TV in the morning.

I know it sounds mean but they all act about 8 and I seem to be the only one thats grown up, but tbh I dont think they're ever gonna be like me because my mum says there parents are the same.

But it winds me up because...well...every 14-year old girl needs a shopping partner, right?

this isn't a phase, you'll probably be like this your whole life

rowanlim
25-01-08, 01:05
Chloe, it's just a phase. But you do sound petulant & immature. A tad selfish, too. You should be friends with people because of WHO THEY ARE, not what they look like. Have you ever considered what your friends think about you "acting out"? If you don't care, you're not a good friend. There's still time yet to grow out of this. In the meantime, try not to criticise your friend for something as petty as colour change. Focus on bigger things.

~*~Chloe~*~
25-01-08, 14:53
this isn't a phase, you'll probably be like this your whole life

What's that supposed to mean

And you lot, forget everything I wrote for a second. I just wanna say, I hang out in a group of about 6 people and 3 are girls (not including me). But today I just got so tired of listening to her yapping on about how ugly she is. I know its her choice how she looks, but confidence is keep. :p

trXD
25-01-08, 14:55
TrXD: I didn't know you turned 14 all of a sudden.

Im 13;) Sorry if thats not quite the exact same age.

Nannonxyay
25-01-08, 16:23
Seriously though, have you thought that maybe you're the problem? Your friends can dress however they want, it' their life, not yours. To be honest, I don't see the point in complaining about your friends not wanting to go out after school, why do you think they think you'll get them into drinking? You're basically in the wrong here, not them. If you find them boring, then well, get some new friends.

I'm soo glad my friends are mostly boys.

~*~Chloe~*~
25-01-08, 16:29
When I say go out, I mean going to the cinema or bowling. I ended up going with 2 other mates. Boy mates. I dont want to be going out drinkin, I wouldnt do it to my mum, its scary.

Encore
25-01-08, 16:41
Seriously though, have you thought that maybe you're the problem? Your friends can dress however they want, it' their life, not yours. To be honest, I don't see the point in complaining about your friends not wanting to go out after school, why do you think they think you'll get them into drinking? You're basically in the wrong here, not them. If you find them boring, then well, get some new friends.

I'm soo glad my friends are mostly boys.

I second that!!! ;)

Angelus
25-01-08, 18:09
Wow, shallow much?

Lara's home
25-01-08, 19:12
Chloe dont listen to that comment

Why?

remote91
25-01-08, 21:09
You come across very shallow in your original post and I dont really see how the appearence of your friend has anything to do with you.

If you dont like them then you shouldnt be friends with them in the first place.

~*~Chloe~*~
29-01-08, 15:26
Okay, the other thread got closed so lets carry on here.

I'm not abandoning anyone. I've just come back from Bebo (I'm always looking at these girls profiles) and they're exactly the same as me. We like the same music, same clothes, same everything. I just want them to give me a chance.

I thought about talking to any of them on Bebo or MSN. But I'm scared they'll a)block me or b)wonder why I added them.

On my old bebo I added a few of them and posted on their profiles saying "thanks for accepting me" and a few replied back saying "thats ok" but some didnt.

Encore
29-01-08, 15:30
I'm not abandoning anyone. I've just come back from Bebo (I'm always looking at these girls profiles) and they're exactly the same as me. We like the same music, same clothes, same everything. I just want them to give me a chance.


isn't that an obsessive behaviour? why are you so obsessed with these girls? why don't you just behave naturally? If you have to forcibly insert yourself into their group, by asking them to, that is not natural at all and can't possibly go well. just stop being so obsessive about their apearence,for christ's sake, there are many people out there with the same tastes as you, that doesn't mean they'll immediately be your best friends. My best friends often disagree with me on tastes.

touchthesky
29-01-08, 15:31
You really should reallign your thoughts..you seem to be to just care about the physical side of relationships with people.
Surely, you can find it within yourself to look a little further and find out that conversations about boys, make up and music aren't the only things a girl needs in her friends.
Are they going to be there for you when you truly need them? I'm sorry to say but from what you've said, it doesn't sound like they will.

myrmaad
29-01-08, 15:36
I don't know if what you're thinking is the best course of action for you to take. Frankly I have grave misgivings about your whole mindset here.

However, if this is really something you want this is what I'd do.

First, the most difficult thing to resist is a sincere compliment. When you have an opportunity, say to one of these girls, " I really love your (fill in the blank:_____haircut___Nails___Shoes___eyeliner__ those Jeans you're wearing__whatever you really like).. Where did you find/get it?"

Be friendly, and if you can, keep the conversation going in a friendly sincere fashion. If it goes nowhere, the next time you can at least smile or wave. That's how you begin to make new friends.


What I really don't understand is why you can't be friends with people from all groups. I'm glad I never boxed myself in when I was a teenager. I had gay friends, geek friends, pretty friends, hip friends, moody loner friends, redneck friends, black friends, smart friends... I managed to like and be liked by almost everybody. I was pretty happy.

~*~Chloe~*~
29-01-08, 15:37
I'm sorry to say but from what you've said, it doesn't sound like they will.

What have I said that makes you think that.

And yeah I am obsessive, I know that.

Woop Legend!
29-01-08, 16:31
You kinda sound like Jamie Lynn Spears

And we allllll know how THAT one ended up!

Go play in the mud, that is what all the cool 14 year olds were doing back in my day (3 years ago ha)

But seriously, nobody expects you to look like an adult at 14. Embrace the days before you need to wear makeup to cover up spots and hickies or whatever. If you try too hard now you risk looking like a skank to some people and not at all genuine....sorry but it is my opinion, which let's face it...you asked for

rowanlim
29-01-08, 16:33
Chloe...You seem to be abit shallow...you're making friends based on their dressing style, not their personalities...that's not the right way to make friends. As I understand it, friends are people you can rely & who can rely on you. There's got to be understanding, acceptance, & a great deal of compassion. I wonder if you're focusing on less important qualities of a person to befriend her...

Woop Legend!
29-01-08, 16:37
For the record, I don't think you are a bad person, everyone is allowed to be shallow at some part of their life. I was incredibly rude at 14 and I wish I wasn't above all else.

Stick by your friends, you can all learn from one another. It doesn't have to be the similarities that keep you friends, it can be the differences also

randomrhys
29-01-08, 16:40
does it really matter what her hair looks like?

also, i have very different music tastes to my best friends and it doesn't matter at all.

touchthesky
29-01-08, 17:14
Lol, me and my partner (whom I live with and have an amazing relationship with) are VERY different from each other.

He hates the TV shows I watch, just like I hate the ones he watches.
He can't stand bands like The Dresden Dolls, and I love them.

I could easily have taken your attitude and ended up not being with him because he "doesn't like Mean Girls and make up" but..I didn't, I'm with him and I'm happy.

You're 14, you still have a lot to learn and a lot of mistakes to make..you need that, it's part of life, but when you can see what a mistake your going into, surely you can step back and take a breather. Maybe some time on your own would do a lot better than being friends with people just because.

As for Bebo stalking, I Bebo stalked a friend of mine for a long time, until I realised she had her own life and I had mine. It takes a lot to realise that but imagine what these girls would think knowing you were on their profiles all the time.
Do you go on because you're worried they're speaking about you? Or just to see what they're up too?

Edit; the reason I said what I said before is because, you're saying you're only wanting to be friends with them because of lifes materials, not because they're nice people, you clicked, or any of those genuine reasons for wanting to be friends with someone. So chances are, yes, they'll be there to speak about when the next range of Max Factor comes out, but no, they won't be there when something happens and you need somebody.

findme
29-01-08, 17:35
Okay, the other thread got closed so lets carry on here.

I'm not abandoning anyone. I've just come back from Bebo (I'm always looking at these girls profiles) and they're exactly the same as me. We like the same music, same clothes, same everything. I just want them to give me a chance.

I thought about talking to any of them on Bebo or MSN. But I'm scared they'll a)block me or b)wonder why I added them.

On my old bebo I added a few of them and posted on their profiles saying "thanks for accepting me" and a few replied back saying "thats ok" but some didnt.

This thread is ridiculous.

As mentioned many times by above posters, you seem VERY shallow. Why do you care about what your friends wear? It's their life, not yours, and if you don't want to be friends with them just because they don't look easy on your eyes, then I must say you're probably not going to get any friends who would stick around for very long.

I have no problems with people looking at style magazines to look for clothing styles and trends, but looking on Bebo for that kind of stuff AND how to act/talk/their interests is a bit too...fake, you're not yourself, you're forcing yourself into what you call "the cool crowd" where you think they dress "cool", go out, have the most attractive group of friends and are the most popular at school.

USP
29-01-08, 19:19
I think we have embarassed her enough.

Seb_01225
29-01-08, 19:22
Aren't you a little young to be 'going out'?

no ones too young to do anything i recon i smoked since i was 12 and been going out partying all night since i was younger!

USP
29-01-08, 19:29
no ones too young to do anything i recon i smoked since i was 12 and been going out partying all night since i was younger!

Good example.

ajrich17901
29-01-08, 19:31
no ones too young to do anything i recon i smoked since i was 12 and been going out partying all night since i was younger!

Wow..bad romodel -__-

PARANOIA
29-01-08, 19:33
no ones too young to do anything i recon i smoked since i was 12 and been going out partying all night since i was younger!

Some people appreciate the dangerous life. :cool:

scion05
29-01-08, 19:36
U can't tell ur friends how to dress, that's pathetic. If your
friend wants to be a bright orange ginger spice ( MEEEE ) then
let them for goodness sake. And " cool clothes ", ever heard of
beauty is in the eye of the beholder ?

ThomasCroft
29-01-08, 19:39
Wow, you're really fake! :)

Melonie Tomb Raider
29-01-08, 19:57
Wow..bad romodel -__-

Exactly what I was thinking.

USP
29-01-08, 20:28
Wow, you're really fake! :)

Awesome.

Seb_01225
29-01-08, 20:42
Some people appreciate the dangerous life. :cool:

hah thats me :) jokes no but i dont really care about how people see me!

and you shouldnt see your friends badly (chloe) cos they're hairs bad or somthing or they're acting different.

they're proberly acting the same just you've grown up faster i guess..

touchthesky
29-01-08, 20:51
I don't think people will be impressed with the fact that you started smoking at 12..It just makes you sound irresponsible.

PARANOIA
29-01-08, 20:58
I don't think people will be impressed with the fact that you started smoking at 12..It just makes you sound irresponsible.

Frankly it's not much different from the people who start smoking at 20, and keep doing it. :o

Shaves a few more years off your life, I guess, and a higher chance of lung or throat cancer.

touchthesky
29-01-08, 21:00
Frankly it's not much different from the people who start smoking at 20, and keep doing it. :o

Shaves a few more years off your life, I guess, and a higher chance of lung or throat cancer.

Which is why I'm so glad I stopped when I did lol.

Anyway, I dont to over take the thread lol..

TombFreak
30-01-08, 00:28
I have a friend who likes sports, plays volleyball, and wears like really simple shirts and her socks don't match. Do I care? No. Even though, I wear really complicated clothes ( with frills and folds ) and I care if my socks match the color of what I'm wearing. But yet, we're still besties!

I'll never forget the feeling when my best friend moved away. We were besties for 4 years. I felt horrible when the school year started, because everyone else had best friends while I was left alone. Until I made friends with the girl I described up there. I don't care how she looks or if she's made of celery!! I care that I have someone to be there for me and talk to me!

I've already lost friends because I tried to be " cool ". That was long ago, and that was one of the mistakes I learned from. No matter how much I wanted to go back to the group I didn't! If it meant losing another friend, I would never do it.

So, you'll learn when all your friends leave when you judge their books by their covers.;) You never want to have nobody to talk to, it makes you feel left out, and you'll spend your Middle/High school years in solitude.

Librarian
30-01-08, 00:57
You know, when I was 11 I had almost this exact same attitude, and you know what I did? I abandoned my two formally-best 'uncool' friends, and managed to weasel my way into the cool crowd. A while later I really regretted it, because my new so-called 'friends' abandoned me over something that wasn't my fault and I was basically alone. Out of desperation, I turned to my old friends, the ones I'd abandoned.

It took us a good two or three years to get our relationships back to what they'd been all our lives up till we were 11. They've been there for me when I felt unbelievably low, and vice versa. I'm now God Mother to two boys and girl.

See, the thing is, at the moment being cool and looking great matters to you. I remember being 14 - it was only 7 years ago - and it's like, school and who you socialise with is really all that matters. But sooner or later, you are going to go through a rough patch in your life. Everybody does. And when that happens, you're going to need real, true friends to back you up and get you through it - and I can almost guarantee the people who care more about what they look like than the wellbeing of their friends will not be what you need.

Changing yourself and your peers to fit in with a certain image won't get you friends for life. Being yourself, respecting those around you and accepting them as they are, will.

coolezpunk
30-01-08, 01:19
OMG, ur like ALL of my friends who put TOO MUCH effort into appearance, and I don't. So we have like, opposite problems. People are different, but when I'm around girls only talking about your hair, I CAN'T STAND IT!!! :mad::mad: