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rowanlim
07-04-08, 16:29
I wasn't sure if this was posted before, but I thought it was really funny :D

What men really mean when they say...

"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"Woman driver."
Really means...
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

"It's a guy thing."
Really means...
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means...
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.

"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means...
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means...
"I have no idea how it works."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"It's a really good movie."
Really means...
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."

"That's women's work."
Really means...
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"Go ask your mother."
Really means...
"I am incapable of making a decision."

"I do help around the house."
Really means...
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"I can't find it."
Really means...
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."


Hehehe :vlol: :p

zappo3000
07-04-08, 16:37
even though im male that is still funny :)

Ilves
07-04-08, 16:43
"It's a really good movie."
Really means...
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."


Woah, how old is this thing? ;) Funny read though :D

Lara's home
07-04-08, 16:47
Funny. :D

JamesFKirk
07-04-08, 17:06
Shouldn't there be a retribution thread as well? :D

nicola1986
07-04-08, 17:08
"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means...
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."



This is the most truthful thing I've ever read, we are tired of your same stories! :D

glitterpaws
07-04-08, 17:15
LOL!hehe:vlol:

Lara Croft!
07-04-08, 17:37
Heheheee...... funny!:D:D

Margot*Croft
07-04-08, 17:40
Love it!!! I had quite the same text in Italian, made me laugh so hard my belly was aching!

Drone
07-04-08, 17:41
lie :D but it's funny tho :vlol:

digitizedboy
07-04-08, 17:45
"It would take too long to explain."
Really means...
"I have no idea how it works."

that's probably true.

jamieoliver22
07-04-08, 17:46
Well, ya know.. It's a guy thing :p

touchthesky
07-04-08, 19:05
And how true they are lmao.

Thanks for sharing.


(Only joking, guys aren't THAT bad :P)

MiCkiZ88
07-04-08, 19:08
Lolz, I must be the anti male stereotype then. Woo hoo!

Ada the Mental
07-04-08, 19:24
"I can't find it."
Really means...
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

So true!:D

Dad: OMG!My glasses!Where the hell are my glasses? Why can't I ever find a thing in this place?Blah...Blah...BLAH...BLAH...
Me: Uh...Glasses...On the table, just where you left them. :rolleyes:

Nenya awakens
07-04-08, 19:59
Haha that is great!! :) so true =)

Paperdoll
07-04-08, 20:13
"Woman driver."
Really means...
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

:whi: that's not entirely true :p

meansizzler
07-04-08, 20:23
:whi: that's not entirely true :p

Yes I could of swore someone resembling you was speeding down the street the other day mowing down the kids on their bikes and giving the old grannies the two fingers...

thecentaur
07-04-08, 20:30
:vlol: so that's what all those sitcom husbands are saying! :vlol:

SamReeves
07-04-08, 20:36
I wasn't sure if this was posted before, but I thought it was really funny :D

"Woman driver."
Really means...
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

:whi: that's not entirely true :p

And I agree from my experiences on the road. When I see mommy with the cell phone in one hand, kids screaming in the backseat of a huge GMC Yukon, it's evasive maneuver time!! :eek:

thiagosmr
07-04-08, 20:42
Hahahahahaha!! Ok... that´s a lie!!

findme
07-04-08, 20:48
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."


LMFAO! :vlol:

God Horus
07-04-08, 20:51
Hehe! :vlol:

Xico15
07-04-08, 21:13
LOL This is funny:vlol:

Angelus
07-04-08, 21:22
Funny, but only a couple of them are true. :p

silver_wolf
07-04-08, 23:20
offensive but funny.

trXD
07-04-08, 23:25
tbh the offensiveness is a bit much but its still funny.

Tyrannosaurus
07-04-08, 23:41
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means...
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling. It means, "Go on, I'm still listening."

"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means...
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them." And she's changed, more than likely. I can't say my ex understands me in the slightest. If I were a chick, this would be tragic, but since I'm a guy, the situation inevitably seems comic. I am either seen by the outsiders as some sort of pathetic character or a creepy stalker on the basis of her story. Worse still, society is far more prepared to forgive a verbally abusive woman because, well, the man being a man either deserves verbal abuse or is tough enough to take it. The fact that women seem to think they are entitled to be petty, cruel, and childish (and often get away with doing so) really sickens me.

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means...
"I have no idea how it works." It WOULD take too long to explain, or you've caught me off guard and I can't put it into good words at the moment.

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." It means exactly that.

"It's a really good movie."
Really means...
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear." I guess that's why I consider Ghost World, Amadeus, Quills, Happiness, American Beauty, The Last Temptation of Christ, The Seventh Seal, Ed Wood, Finding Nemo, Babe, and Groundhog Day to be really good movies, right?

Of course, if the statement implies that movies with guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear (only found out who she was by googling her just now) would have no artistic merit simply on the basis of these elements alone, then reveals that some people have too little taste and think themselves to have too much taste.

"I do help around the house."
Really means...
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket." "I try to. Or I will, the first chance I get".

"I can't find it."
Really means...
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." Hmmm . . . can't really argue with that one.

The rest of these are statements I would never say. I laughed at none of them. I never find humor based on stereotypes to be funny. Though completely trivial, I had to answer them personally in order to make this point.

cococomics_pres
08-04-08, 03:35
I agree this is a little offensive, but it's all in good fun.
Even though -If I may rant for a second- the stereotype of males as stupid, langering dummies who can't figure out how to work a blender or do laundry to save their lives is getting irritating.
This stereotype is furthured into actual society, and intelligent men who are capable of taking care of themselves are almost looked at as different or weird somehow.
Anyway there's my two cents, but it's humor so...

rowanlim
08-04-08, 03:53
Sorry I posted this thread to share some laughs, no offense meant ;)

About the woman driver part, at first glance, I thought the description was meant FOR woman drivers :D :vlol:

cococomics_pres
08-04-08, 03:55
Hah no offense taken here, just felt like voicing my opinion on the stereotypes being portrayed in the media!

rowanlim
08-04-08, 04:20
Hah no offense taken here, just felt like voicing my opinion on the stereotypes being portrayed in the media!

Okay :o :D

It's quite a funny joke, reading back...hehe :vlol:

Earthcane
08-04-08, 07:06
Shock horror! So untrue, Jo! :p


"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

Awesome :vlol: :D

kryptonite23
08-04-08, 07:09
I don't say those things :p:vlol:

cammy.
08-04-08, 08:09
Lol. Some of it is definately true. Some maybe not so much but they are still funny. :p

drakl0r
08-04-08, 10:28
Lol! I've read this before but can't remember where...

Punaxe
08-04-08, 11:20
I thought one of the common conceptions in the media was that men always speak their minds which is often too blunt for women to take rationally, while women are the ones that truly need a translator.

Something makes me think a woman wrote that piece... :whi:

Kamnelomo
08-04-08, 11:36
EWW LIAR

XD

Funny. No, RLY funny.

Gianni Bartoli
08-04-08, 19:37
The men in this forum NEED to strike back with a counter-joke! :mad:

dreamless
08-04-08, 19:46
The men in this forum NEED to strike back with a counter-joke! :mad:

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.

So, God asked him, “What’s wrong with you?”

Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion, and that it would be a woman.

He said, “This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you.

She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement.

She will praise you!

She will bear your children.

And never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not ask you to change poopie diapers.

“She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.”

Adam asked God, “What will a woman like this cost?”

God replied, “An arm and a leg.”

Then Adam asked, “What can I get for a rib?”

and the rest is history...

vespertea
08-04-08, 20:26
@Tyrannosaurus:


http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/5992/1freeinternetcopyyy6.jpg

Tihocan9
08-04-08, 20:46
I thought one of the common conceptions in the media was that men always speak their minds which is often too blunt for women to take rationally, while women are the ones that truly need a translator.

Something makes me think a woman wrote that piece... :whi:

Very true, when we say something it usually haws no hidden meaning, it means just what we said. Its odd how women want equality so much but then feel they are so much more superior to men. Neither gender is perfect and unfortunately this is what so many people hold to be true. Hopefully one day we won't be like this anymore.

Gianni Bartoli
08-04-08, 21:04
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.

So, God asked him, “What’s wrong with you?”

Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion, and that it would be a woman.

He said, “This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you.

She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement.

She will praise you!

She will bear your children.

And never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not ask you to change poopie diapers.

“She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.”

Adam asked God, “What will a woman like this cost?”

God replied, “An arm and a leg.”

Then Adam asked, “What can I get for a rib?”

and the rest is history...

Brilliant! :D :jmp:

Larapink
08-04-08, 21:07
:D Lol

silver_wolf
08-04-08, 22:05
Very true, when we say something it usually haws no hidden meaning, it means just what we said. Its odd how women want equality so much but then feel they are so much more superior to men. Neither gender is perfect and unfortunately this is what so many people hold to be true. Hopefully one day we won't be like this anymore.
Agreed. Really getting sick of the whole "big dumb male" stereotype.

Christi
08-04-08, 22:09
Men aren't completely useless!! They arent lazy. Well, my man isn't lazy. *cough*:o

JamesFKirk
08-04-08, 22:53
I find this to be stereotypical... Sadly, most take it as a fact, unfortunatelly, that everyone with the XY chromosomal configuration is bound to be a lazy and fat beer-TV-football addict with IQ lower than his shoe size, no matter how hard the one may try to be otherwise (yes, speeking of my own personal experience). However, I do find those mentioned to be ironicly funny, since in the flat where I live, it seems to be reversed.
Well. I believe most will now consider me either chauvinist or simply a liar. :D

TRexbait
08-04-08, 23:41
That's how my brother is,
Brother:"Edwin I can't find my cellphonne!"

Me:"It's on your bed stupid!"

rowanlim
09-04-08, 03:32
The men in this forum NEED to strike back with a counter-joke! :mad:

Hehe...no offense guys...this is purely for good fun :D

Gianni Bartoli
09-04-08, 08:50
Hehe...no offense guys...this is purely for good fun :D

I know. :)

But we have dignity that needs to be defended! :mad: :tea:

touchthesky
09-04-08, 11:25
Lol they have something similar to this thread in the magazine "Love it" once a week.

This weeks was funny;

He says: Marry me.
He means: I want you to look after me.