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View Full Version : Joke: Whatsamatta University Seminar


rowanlim
12-04-08, 09:49
Hey everyone :wve:

My pal passed this joke to me, I'd thought to share it :D

Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Men

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

1. Combatting Stupidity

2. You Too Can Do Housework

3. PMS - Learn When To Keep Your Mouth Shut

4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray

5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Just Give Us Credit Cards)

6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4:00am

7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly called "Don't Wash My Silks")

8. Parenting Roles Beyond Initial Conception

9. Get A Life - Learn To Cook

10. How Not To Act Like An ******* When You Are Obviously Wrong

11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

13. You, The Weaker Sex

14. Reasons To Give Flowers

15. How To Stay Awake After Sex

16. Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere Except In The Bathroom

17. Garbage - Getting It To The Curb

18. A. You Really Can Fall Asleep Without Doing It, If You Really Try
B. The Morning Dilemma - If It's Awake In The Morning, Take A Cold Shower

19. You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Damn Well Please

20. How To Put Down A Toilet Seat (formerly called "No It's Not A Bidet")

21. Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Often Bull****

22. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost

23. The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency

24. Romanticism - Other Ideas Beyond Sex

25. Helpful Posture Hints For Couch Potatoes

26. Mother-in-Laws Are People Too

27. The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous

28. How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children

29. You Too Can Be A Designated Driver

30. Male Bonding: Leave Your Friends At Home

31. You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Naked

32. Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works!

33. Attainable Goal - Omitting Foul Expletives From Your Vocabulary

34. Fluffing The Blankets After Farting Is Not Necessary

35. You Don't Really Need That Porsche After Thinning Hair And Mid-Life Crisis

36. How To Tolerate Bras And Pantyhose Hanging In The Bathroom


Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Women

Once again, the male staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for women of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

1. Combatting The Impulse To Nag

2. You Can Change The Oil Too

3. PMS - Learning To Sleep Over At Mother's

4. How To Properly Fill A Beer Mug

5. We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas (Just Wear The Sexy Lingerie I Gave You)

6. Understanding The Female Causes Of Male Drunkenness

7. How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch Football

8. Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him To Boss Around

9. How To Encourage Your Husband To Cook More And Be Able To Stomach His Slop

10. How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right

11. Get A Life - Learn To Kill Spiders Yourself

12. Balancing A Checkbook - Even You Can Get It Right

12. Comprehending Credit Card Spending Limits And Financial Responsibility

13. You, The Whining Sex

14. Reasons To Give Head To Your Man

15. How To Stay Awake During Sex And Imagine That It Lasted For Over 10 Minutes

16. Why It Is Unacceptable To Talk About Feminine Hygiene In Mixed Company

17. Shopping - Doing It In Less Than 16 Hours

18. A. You Can Use A Bed For More Than Just Sleep
B. It's Okay To Do It Outside Of The Bedroom

19. If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother

20. How To Close The Garage Door

21. If You Don't Want An Excuse, Don't Demand An Explanation

22. How To Go Fishing With Your Mate And Not Catch Pneumonia

23. Living Without Power Windows - How To Turn A Crank

24. Romanticism - The Whole Point Of Caviar, Candles, And Conversation

25. How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By Himself

26. Why You Don't Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every Weekend

27. Payday And Shopping Are Not Synonymous

28. How To Act Younger Than Your Mother

29. You Too Can Carry A Backpack

30. Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The Most

31. Learning To Appreciate The Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of Men

32. Dress Like A Slut And Put On Something Sexy - Why It Won't Ruin Your Brain

33. Attainable Goal - Catching A Ball Before It Stops Moving

34. Apologizing For Farting When You're On The Toilet Is Not Necessary

35. How To Remain Femininely Enticing And Attractive After Menopause

36. How To Close The Top On The Toothpaste

Hehehehe...:vlol:

Nannonxyay
12-04-08, 11:07
:vlol: That was funny, especially the male part. :D