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Tear
13-04-08, 19:55
Last night, April 12th at about 9:30p.m, three police officers rang my doorbell telling me that I had to come outside and talk. My parents weren't home because they went to dinner with some of our close family-friends. It was late, i'm only 16, and I had the feeling that there's a chance that these aren't real cops so I was hesitant about opening my screen door. He says it's important, and easier if he sees who he's talking to. I open the door, only to be grabbed roughly by my arm and pulled out of my house. I was frightened, as this sort of thing just doesn't happen to me, im thinking it's only in the movies.

The officers grab my oldest brother, Brendon, and pull him outside with me to talk. They tell me that one of us called a suicide hotline and said we had a shotgun to our head. I could barely breath, as I realized that my other brother Blane (who had been on anti-depressants months ago, but soon stopped) was home with us, locked in his room.

I thought to myself "This can't be happening, I know that Blane has been acting strange, but he would never consider shooting himself."

As I waited, with tears rolling down my cheeks, for them to bring out Blane, I see them mention that they're still looking for a gun. Now, I know my brother, and he would never bring a gun into our house, it's absolutely impossible.
I see the police officers bring Blane out into my living room as he stares out at me, from my front walkway. The only thing i'm thinking is, "Why would you call a false alarm for no reason?!". I was so angry with him, my expression didn't change one bit.

Then, to my surprise, after Blane was already walked to their police car, one cop brings out a shotgun in one hand, and the box it was being held in, in the other. That was the moment where I couldn't think straight, and nothing made sense. My stomach twisted and I fell to the floor.

This just couldn't be happening. It was like a horrible nightmare that you tell yourself you need to wake up to. But it wasn't, it was real.
After answering a few questions with the cops, they told me and my brother Brendon to go in the house, as they waited outside for our parents to come home.
About 15 minutes afterwards I hear my parents and our close friends outside talking to the police trying to find out what happened.
They come in the house and try to comfort us, but the only thing i'm thinking is that my brother could have been dead. That second, he could have been dead.

Never seeing my brother again..?! I can't even imagine what that would be like. Honestly, his life could have been so much worse, he's an excellant writer, people tell him he should be a model, he's 19 and graduating in two months, his grades are high, he has a nice job at a movie theatre, he's gay, and everyone around him excepts it. The funny thing is, what we did earlier that day was the whole family went to a gay pride parade just for Blane, to make him happy... and he seemed happy, and thankful.

I can't imagine what he must have been thinking to make him go out and buy a shotgun, and 100 rounds.. And we found out later that he called a hotline saying that he couldn't put the gun together properly. It turns out he was hiding it in a crevice behind his bed for almost four months.

Everyone left my house and went to bed at about 2:30 in the morning. We were all so thankful that he was okay.

Me and Blane share a room, and he was about to shoot himself in our room.
I slept in the living room last night, next to my big brother as we worried about where Blane is right now, and if he's going to get treated.

I cried myself to sleep.

touchthesky
13-04-08, 20:00
I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you get through this and your brother gets all the help that he needs.

bloodstormaoa
13-04-08, 20:01
Oh my god! That sounds like such a horrible experience for you. I hope everything works out okay for you and your family.

Try not to be too hard on Blane, it sounds as though he really a supportive sibling right now.

Drone
13-04-08, 20:03
support your brother as much as you can, maybe you can do more than you think

Domino
13-04-08, 20:05
I feel so sorry for you and I hope you and your family pull through this traumatic experience.

tomblover
13-04-08, 20:06
Oh holy ****! :yik:

I'm so sad for both of ya. :(

I wish y'all the best of luck. :hug:

trXD
13-04-08, 20:15
That is truley awful. My thoughs are with all of you including blane. Why is he so depressed?

MiCkiZ88
13-04-08, 20:21
I am so sorry to hear about that. :( The good thing is that he wasn't able to do it.

Depression doesn't have to come from anything. It's genetic, but it can be helped. Give him your full support.

Voni
13-04-08, 20:24
I'm really sorry to hear about this, it must have been awful for you. The good news is that your brother called the suicide hotline, so there's a small part of him that still wants to live, regardless of how he feels.

Try and look after yourself because you've been through a horrible experience, but give him as much support as you can too. I'm sure he didn't want to hurt anyone.

Tear
13-04-08, 20:30
That is truley awful. My thoughs are with all of you including blane. Why is he so depressed?

I'm not really sure. He has friends - which he complains he's not very close with any of them.

He's had a boyrfriend, but he was under age, so they couldn't see eachother.

It's a little weird but he was very curious about a 15-year-old girl that went to another school that commit suicide. He didn't know her but he felt like he did, and he constantly went to her myspace and read alot about what happened. It was confusing because she was a model, with lots of friends and a family that loved her, so nobody knew why she did it.

Over time it seemed like he was a bit obsessed with this girl, and I thought it was so odd because he never knew her.
Me and my father tried to not make a big deal of it, because he just said that he was very compassionate, and he just didn't understand why.

Thinking back on it, i'm sure there's something I could have done. I'm sure. He's not closer with anyone but me. If I had just mentioned something to my mom, and not just brushed it off my shoulders, perhaps she could have gotten him back on anti-depressants, or something to help... I don't know...

Thank you all for your support.

Voni
13-04-08, 20:33
Thinking back on it, i'm sure there's something I could have done. I'm sure. He's not closer with anyone but me. If I had just mentioned something to my mom, and not just brushed it off my shoulders, perhaps she could have gotten him back on anti-depressants, or something to help... I don't know...

Thank you all for your support.

Don't think of it like that or you'll just torture yourself. Speaking as someone who's had depression, all you can do for them is be there. No one can make him go on the anti depressants but himself. Maybe he felt they weren't helping? They don't work for everybody.

tomblover
13-04-08, 20:40
Don't think of it like that or you'll just torture yourself. I agree. Don't blame yourself.

amiro1989
13-04-08, 20:40
OMG. I had goose bumps. That's really moving. I'm so happy that nobody was hurt, and that everyone is alright. OMG.

Tear
13-04-08, 20:41
Don't think of it like that or you'll just torture yourself. Speaking as someone who's had depression, all you can do for them is be there. No one can make him go on the anti depressants but himself. Maybe he felt they weren't helping? They don't work for everybody.

Thank you,
I'll try not to beat myself up over it, and make sure he gets the help and support he needs.:o

I'll try my best.

Voni
13-04-08, 20:42
Thank you,
I'll try not to beat myself up over it, and make sure he gets the help and support he needs.:o

I'll try my best.

I'm glad to hear it, just make sure you look after yourself too, k? :hug:

Seb_01225
13-04-08, 20:42
your brother sounds like he has so much to live for

why would he want to end his life...
i'm truely sorry if you ever need to talk
just buz me :)

rickybazire
13-04-08, 21:59
Really sorry to hear that. I hope you get through it, hope your brother does as well.

Best of luck to both of you.

AmericanAssassin
13-04-08, 22:02
Jeez... That must have been a terrifying experience for you. I hope your brother gets better, so you can all move on. :hug:

Beanz
13-04-08, 22:04
That sucks, I can't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now, I hope you and your family are ok. :hug:.

Bumio
13-04-08, 22:38
i hope ur brother is ok now, and u of course :hug: try to comfort him and talk with him as much as u can. take a long walks together in fresh air, make sure u both will laugh a lot and always remind him how much beautiful life is, how much is it worth living for, tell him that u love him and u will always be for him.
be strong :hug:

KC Mraz
14-04-08, 00:02
I'm speechless... talk with your brother and don't blame your self. All the best to you, your brother and your family :hug:.

Christi
14-04-08, 00:29
If I were you sweaty, there would be alot of more chaos while those cops were there.Sorry to hear that. But! if I were you, I would go and find him, even if it does requir breaking the law. He's your brother, and family bonds shouldn't be corrupted by things like that.

tranniversary119
14-04-08, 02:14
I'm not so good in those sort of situations I probably would have a huge anxiety attack and end up having a meltdown which is usually what happens. But its good to see you where strong about it and I'm really sorry I hope you're brother gets better and I'm sorry that you had to go through that situation :(

Tear
14-04-08, 02:42
My mother contacted him today, and he says that he wants to get better.

I'm crying while I say this but, I'm really hoping for the best.
I don't want to lose my brother.

Christi
14-04-08, 02:57
:hug::hug::hug::hug:^ I'm hoping too sweaty

oocladableeblah
14-04-08, 03:39
omg! :yik: I hope you get through it and hope that your brother gets help.

rowanlim
14-04-08, 03:43
I'm just happy that your brother wants to get better. That's an amazing thing. The biggest hurdle has been overcome. Now don't feel sad, just be strong, help your brother to be strong & get back on his feet. He will need all the love & support he can get, I think you are more than able to do that! :tmb: :hug:

Sweets
14-04-08, 03:44
I'm so sorry:hug: I hope your brother gets some help and gets better! :hug:

Shark_Blade
14-04-08, 04:15
Be strong. I really hope your family will overcome this hardship. :)

digitizedboy
14-04-08, 04:40
:(

Good luck, I'm in that same predicament. I want to die.

SamReeves
14-04-08, 05:05
That is a hair raising story to say the least. I wish all the best for your brother and your family.

digitizedboy
14-04-08, 05:06
I know my mood is bad, but I feel things lately. I wonder how my mom feels, I don't wonder how my dad feels because he is not with us anymore.
And beause of that reason I feel depressed, and yet I did go to the hospital and get an x-ray. And the x-rad made me feel even more anxious.
why? becauase I've got a problem with my right lung, and it needs to be opperated.

KurtisLonely
14-04-08, 05:33
this is horrible, but all I can say is that you have to support your brother the best you can now :) it is hard, especially after this, but you have to, maybe this was a scream for help. don't be angry at him, it's the worst thing you can do at this moment, I think.

Sorry, it all sounds so easy, I know, but still, it helps..

Shark_Blade
14-04-08, 05:37
digitizedboy: You could get well after the operation so don't loose hope just yet. :hug: Good luck.

Tear
14-04-08, 05:58
I know my mood is bad, but I feel things lately. I wonder how my mom feels, I don't wonder how my dad feels because he is not with us anymore.
And beause of that reason I feel depressed, and yet I did go to the hospital and get an x-ray. And the x-rad made me feel even more anxious.
why? becauase I've got a problem with my right lung, and it needs to be opperated.

I'm so sorry.
You can't give up because of something like that. People love you, i'm sure.
I know that surgery is expensive, and even if you can't get surgery, you should live each day to it's fullest.
You never know what could happen next..