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View Full Version : Ever Lose a Close Friend?


MattTR
20-05-08, 10:46
Well this is just a broad, and wide question (not about death).

Here's my story...

Recently, my best friend kind of went extreme, and shunned me and everyone else out of his life. We were best friends for nearly 3 years, met in freshmen year (in college now), and we've been close ever since. We met on a retreat, and have been through hell in back together until very recently. One day everything was fine, we we're laughing and talking on the phone one Sunday night, until I woke up the next day and saw he deleted his Myspace, later as I tried calling him his number was changed, and no one ever was home. I finally went to his work to see if he was alright, and his exact words, after I said "I missed you so much buddy, are you alright?", were "Don't talk to me, I've never been better". This crushed me for months (been about 2), in the end of our friendship all he did was treat me like dirt, when I did so much for him, but I couldn't ever imagine this would happen. I've sent multiple letters, even a religious card to his work, and no response back, whatsoever.

I don't get it, life's rough. I miss him like heck, but I've learned to move on. :(

Has a similar situation ever occurred to you? Or what do you think may have happened with my friend?

Thank you all for reading. :hug:

Lara Croft Fan Joe
20-05-08, 10:52
Thats awful :(. Have any idea why he did that? That seems kinda strange to change all of a sudden...

lisa_croft
20-05-08, 10:55
Uhm...i'm sorry for your loss, thats sounds really bad :(

Eh, maybe something has happened within his life and this is how he handles it maybe?
Or maybe someone has said something to him about something you said that isn't true?

^if that is the case he isn't a true friend.

Also...there are better people in this world that would give you a reason as to why theyre being so cold to you.

:hug:

Lara Croft Fan Joe
20-05-08, 10:56
Hmm, I have to agree, I think if someone is just going to be horrible all of a sudden like that then they arent really a true friend.

Nausinous
20-05-08, 10:58
I feel so bad for you mate, have a manly hug on me :hug:

Capt. Murphy
20-05-08, 11:35
Maybe he thought you were getting too.... intimate with him. And maybe he's not like that....?

When I say this it isn't meant to be taken in a derogatory way. It sounds a bit gay to me. And maybe this guy isn't gay.... or he has a personal conflict with that. Or he is and there is someone else in his life and any involvment with you could possibly interfere with that relationship.

Come to think of it, he wouldn't have to be gay. He could have a girlfriend. So the "You're getting too intimate with him" thing could still stand.

-----

I don't have any (close) friends. So I don't have to worry about losing anyone. :)


.
.
.

:(

Legends
20-05-08, 11:41
In 2006 one of my friends were killed in a car crash on the expressway. There were two people in the car and they were coming to visit me and a few others of their friends who were throwing a party for them. We don't really know what happen who cased the accident, but that doesn't really change anything. The other person survived but he doesn't seem to be himself after what happen. There's been two years now and moving on without him has been hard. But the real loss has been everyone who was standing very close to him, because they have changed towards me too. They never do anything they used to, so because of all that I've lost four friends. I understand there is a battle everyday for them, and there was for me too, but now they don't seem to have a life spirit at all, just anger. There's been six months since I last spoke to them now, and they turned they're back on me for not giving up. The last I heard was they didn't want to come by my place because they think I don't care at all anymore. After that my other friends told me that they just keep saying ****ty things behind my back. I didn't know who these people was four years ago, but then the guy who got killed come up to me at school and wanted me to invite him to my parties and he was the other popular guy at school so I thought, “sure I want to be friends with him”, and it turned into a great friendship. We were like the guys who ruled the school. I hate it when people say that I've just gone back to being that same old popular guy as I was back then, because that is what he's old friend group is blaming me for now.

Drone
20-05-08, 11:48
I've ruined my relations with my best friend ever coz I've been a fool. I can't rewind but I would like to .....

Jo269976
20-05-08, 11:49
Yeah it happened...well y'know in both our cases if they're truly like that then "close friend" is a real understatement.

If your friends are with you to the end and your friendship is strong enough that nothing and no-one will ever break it then they're real friends.

I'm sure you have plenty of other close friends, including TRF. :ton:

It may seem confusing and partially hurtful at first but soon you'll see the bigger picture and move on with life, thusly making many more friends along the way.

So yeah...if they basically backstab you, who needs them? :hug:

lisa_croft
20-05-08, 14:29
In 2006 one of my friends were killed in a car crash on the expressway. There were two people in the car and they were coming to visit me and a few others of their friends who were throwing a party for them. We don't really know what happen who cased the accident, but that doesn't really change anything. The other person survived but he doesn't seem to be himself after what happen. There's been two years now and moving on without him has been hard. But the real loss has been everyone who was standing very close to him, because they have changed towards me too. They never do anything they used to, so because of all that I've lost four friends. I understand there is a battle everyday for them, and there was for me too, but now they don't seem to have a life spirit at all, just anger. There's been six months since I last spoke to them now, and they turned they're back on me for not giving up. The last I heard was they didn't want to come by my place because they think I don't care at all anymore. After that my other friends told me that they just keep saying ****ty things behind my back. I didn't know who these people was four years ago, but then the guy who got killed come up to me at school and wanted me to invite him to my parties and he was the other popular guy at school so I thought, “sure I want to be friends with him”, and it turned into a great friendship. We were like the guys who ruled the school. I hate it when people say that I've just gone back to being that same old popular guy as I was back then, because that is what he's old friend group is blaming me for now.

Really sorry to hear about your loss. But i guess youre just stronger than them at handling your friends death. Thats what it sounds like to me. I don't think your friend would want you or the other friends to be down in the dumps all the time. so keep smiling:hug:

Legend of Lara
20-05-08, 14:42
Can't really call it a real loss, but my best friend moved to Florida. Haven't talked to him in months.

irjudd
20-05-08, 15:11
Yes, I've lost close friends in both ways. One just went off his own way severing contact, the other one drowned during a routine "lets swim in the river" excursion.

MiCkiZ88
20-05-08, 15:21
Sorry to hear about your losses. I've lost a few good friends, mainly cause I've moved around, but other than that. Not really any by death. Sure I miss my old friends alot, but they've turned in to **** heads and just treat me as their night driver. Ugh..

Larapink
20-05-08, 15:24
I am sorry to hear about your close friend, maybe they just need some space for a little while. If they want to talk again maybe they will contact you again, but it might just they need some space. But don't wait around getting upset because they are not answering any calls or cards. It might even help to just keep busy go out with your other friends maybe this might help you to keep your mind off from your close friend.

I hope this helps you. :hug::)

Something similar has happend to me I can't go into too much detail, but in my experience it was just best to leave them, I felt so hurt because I told them nearly everything that has happend in my life and they would just change so much the next and be really two-faced and *****y they were the bullys. To be honest, don't have very many close real friends not out of my fault but the fault of others, that hurt me emotionaly. I because what I have learned so far in my life has made me become inderpendent. I lost firends earlier in my life, from about the ages of 10 -15, so it doesn't really bother me much now when I don't have a firend to talk to in a long while.

Vertigo
20-05-08, 15:25
I`m glad I`m lost some of my "friends" because they aren`t human beings I presume, they were a special "dickheadus-annoyinus"

Lara Croft Fan Joe
20-05-08, 15:25
Well I have lost old friends from back when I was younger in primary school, and from what I hear, most of them have turned out to be *******s. See them in town now and again though, don't think they recognise me :p

JinSlayer
20-05-08, 15:28
I've lost a close friend, just 17 years old as well :(

He was a nice kid who just ran into trouble with some idiots and got stabbed in the chest 17 times. I just felt really bad for his whole family. How can people do such things :(

Lara Croft Fan Joe
20-05-08, 15:30
I've lost a close friend, just 17 years old as well :(

He was a nice kid who just ran into trouble with some idiots and got stabbed in the chest 17 times. I just felt really bad for his whole family
Damn, thats awful! :( I think for anyone to die at an age like that is really sad.

MattTR
20-05-08, 18:05
Aww, everyone.. :( You've made me so happy I could cry. I'll always know I have my many friends on the Tomb Raider forums. :D

Thank you everyone so much for your love and support, you don't know how much it makes me feel better, and means to me.

God bless you all. :hug:

digitizedboy
20-05-08, 18:21
reading this quite touches me, because I've had a few people that have shunned me too in the past. Friends that I've been pretty close to aswell.

I feel that pain too.

Rexie
20-05-08, 18:39
So I had few friends, we were worlds best gang (girls xD) and then, I started to hang out with the boys for like two weeks (nothing happened >.> only car talks) , I was always a tomboy. So now, two of my friends turned my back to me, and feel disgusted to talk with me, The third one, got jealous of me 'cause boys actually like me. Today at religion, when someone claimed that I was 'cool only have a bigger mouth' she got BLACK from jealousy and didn't even talked to me when I asked what's wrong!
And at the Finnish class, every time some boy spoke to me, she talked about motorcycles, hoping that it would interest them :rolleyes:

And I'm sorry for what happened to you :hug:

rickybazire
20-05-08, 18:43
Really sorry to hear your stories.

I don't have like a personal close friend, but in certain situations, I've got some close friends. Like at school I talk to a wide number of people, on MSN I talk to those people, but I also talk to a lot of other people.

My best friend and I have a weird relationship, we are best friends and stuff, but it's like how best friends are seen. We don't share like close secrets and stuff, because we hold different views on things, not like in a religious way, but brought up with different backgrounds.

We have had many times where it could have easily a fall-out but the unwritten law we have is to put it behind us.

When I got a girlfriend, most of my friends were like, 'why her?' As in, they don't see me talk to her, but I do. Not in an 'oh she ain't good.' (She's amazing!! I love her!! :D) There's one of my friends, who's kinda my second best friend, he's always been there for me and I've been talking to him about it. He said from experience, just give it time and the situation will calm.

I took his advice, and it has calmed down. My best friend, Dan, has been a bit more friendly about it and has been asking questions that seem fine.

But otherwise no, I haven't fallen out with anyone.

Lenochka
20-05-08, 18:59
Sounds like a jerk.
You're such a great friend Matty :)
In the end he is the one to lose out.

Just remember...
"Happiness is a hair flip away" - Chris Crocker
http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d127/otaku_tatu/number%202/z138925553.gif
:p

Christi
20-05-08, 19:17
Don't even get me started...I'm sorry for all of you. I don't need to go blurting out the thing that I just got over with a few months ago. Right before I joined the forums. Maybe I'll be stronger later.

Gianni Bartoli
20-05-08, 19:32
I've never lost a close friend, but I've lost plenty of people I thought were close friends.

Sorry to hear about your situation MattTr. :hug:

Tihocan9
20-05-08, 19:38
Yep, just recently actually, for months I have been feeling like all she did was drag me down and I was sick of it, but first my other friend, who was best friends with them isnt friends anymore because the same reason. But lat week we got into a fight and she didn't seem like she thought there was anything wrong with her attitude but I guess thats what it comes out as, now its like she fell of the face of the planet cause she isnt coming to school and I never see her anymore. It is long and complicated but that is the main part of the story.

Sedge
20-05-08, 19:41
Lost and lost, more like.. grown apart. It's painful, I know, pretty much everyone has had/will have to experience something like that at some point in their life, it seems. Suddenly both just.. I don't know, realize, how in reality they know nothing about each other anymore, or at least not the way they used to. Both have their own things going on and and.. yeah. ó_o Cruel world. :hug:

TR93
20-05-08, 20:23
Part of the reason I love this Forum is that there are people to talk to.
I don't know whether I lost a friend or they lost me. They were being really nasty to me about how much I like Tomb Raider, teasing me, using language against me I can't even repeat. I don't know whether they are a real friend or not, if they were why can't they just accept I love TR and TRF? I though we were friends then she treats me like dirt,
Anyway, It happend when they saw me on this forum on monday, they told me to get off. I was so fed up of her trying to control me to I told her to get lost and leave me alone. Then she gave me evil looks so I turned around and said to her face" You don't scare me, I'll do want I want, you can't control me like some little puppet" She didn't talk to me for the next lesson at school, when I tried to talk to my other friends on the table she siad, " were we talking to you?" like she owns them aswell.
Even worse is that she totaly controls my other friends life, she says jump my other friends say how high. Was I in the wrong by telling them to stopping trying to control me? We were really close until she was a total pratt, but I wonder if she was using me, I burn her CD's, Help her out with homework, even drew a portrait of her boyfriend for his birthday present and I don't even know the guy.
Should I try and work this out or just leave it, I don't know what to do because she won't even talk to me

Angel666
20-05-08, 21:17
Yeah. I think everyone has or will at some point. I moved away from my elementary school friends (this was before myspace) and fell out of contact, two of my good friends from middle school died in a car wreck last November, and my "best friend" is making really bad decisions and pretty much dumped me like a hot potato when her boyfriend got out of juvie or where ever he was. It sucks but it's a part of life.

Inkheart
20-05-08, 21:31
Once, a long time ago, when my best friend moved to Somerset. I was still in primary school, and I spent a long time feeling lonely, but gradually got involved with everyone else. I've changed a lot since then. I probably wouldn't even like him if I met him now.

It's always really really really tough to loose a pet, something I've had to do far too often. Particularly if said pet really made an impression. My kitten used to curl up into a ball and sit in a bowl in the study. Then she got run over. Now whenever I look at that bowl, I think of her.

Ouch, this is quite a depressing thread, isn't it?

tr_mitch
20-05-08, 22:19
Sounds like a jerk.
You're such a great friend Matty :)
In the end he is the one to lose out.

Just remember...
"Happiness is a hair flip away" - Chris Crocker
http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d127/otaku_tatu/number%202/z138925553.gif
:p

Lmao... Crock.

I've not really lost a close friend, more grew apart from them... and it's happened several times, I guess it's just part of growing up and moving on.

Twilight
20-05-08, 22:24
sorry about your friend. perhaps you should try again to talk to him. persistence is key...

anyway, any friends ive lost have been on purpose. slowly drifted away. yet now the only way to communicate with my 2 closest friends is through myspace and email.

Christi
20-05-08, 23:17
My friend died in a way that I blame myself for it hapening, when I still could have saved him.

oocladableeblah
20-05-08, 23:20
Wow all your stories are so sad :(
idk if this counts, but I had a really close friend on a video game, but they stopped playing because they had to have heart surgery.

I've also have had friends who have just made a bad decision of dropping school and getting into some bad habits.

Encore
20-05-08, 23:40
I lost friendships without knowing why, we simply started talking less and less until we never talk at all. Weird thing, life is.
Also I'm not a social person to begin with and during my most serious period of depression I simply didn't want to be with anyone at all.
The most serious friendships I have now are mostly kept going thanks to the internet.

MattTR
21-05-08, 08:32
Sounds like a jerk.
You're such a great friend Matty :)
In the end he is the one to lose out.

Just remember...
"Happiness is a hair flip away" - Chris Crocker
http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d127/otaku_tatu/number%202/z138925553.gif
:p

Aww. :hug:

I love you. You're an even more amazing friend.


Don't even get me started...I'm sorry for all of you. I don't need to go blurting out the thing that I just got over with a few months ago. Right before I joined the forums. Maybe I'll be stronger later.

Sorry about that. :( :hug:

So many touching stories, I teared a few times. :(

ivannnnn
21-05-08, 08:50
I think he was already fed up with you because of some reasons. Isn't a problem made by something? :wve:

MattTR
21-05-08, 08:52
I think he was already fed up with you because of some reasons. Isn't a problem made by something? :wve:

Yes but when it's already hard to forget about something, little things can remind you. It's tough. :( I know the feeling, I kept trying to forget about my friend and literally everything reminded me of him.

ivannnnn
21-05-08, 08:58
Yes but when it's already hard to forget about something, little things can remind you. It's tough. :( I know the feeling, I kept trying to forget about my friend and literally everything reminded me of him.
I understand you. :)

I have close schoolfriend 1,5 years ago. He really liked me to laugh about or talk about silly things. Not so long about next months he left me--just, I was so confused!! I have forgotten him and won't ever think of his kindness to me. It is hard but if you'll try and want to forget him, it's simple. Don't ever think of his kindness.

MattTR
21-05-08, 09:03
Very good point. :( When I think of that it just make feels worse, apart from thinking about the bad things he did to me.

Thank you. :hug:

ivannnnn
21-05-08, 09:11
Think positive, Matt. :)

OK? I like helping you. :hug:

MattTR
21-05-08, 09:17
Think positive, Matt. :)

OK? I like helping you. :hug:

Thank you ivan. It means a lot to me. As hard as it is to stay positive, I am going to do just as you say. Thanks so much for being there for me, it means a lot to me. I could cry you've made me so happy. :( :hug:

john_york
21-05-08, 09:17
I lost my best friend back when I was 15 - he was killed in a car crash along with two other people. Kinda sent me off the rails for a while.

Larapink
21-05-08, 09:34
I think that it might help if you just move on from this friend because it's not helping you to feel upset. From what I have read you are a really nice person, and yes stay positive and keep yourslef busy this is all part of of the learning process it may not seem so much now but you will look back later in later life and just reflect. I hope this helps you, friend. :):hug:

john_york
21-05-08, 09:57
For what it's worth, from what I know of you from your posts here, it's definitely his loss, not yours. You seem really nice, you don't need people like that in your life. :hug:

MattTR
21-05-08, 10:02
For what it's worth, from what I know of you from your posts here, it's definitely his loss, not yours. You seem really nice, you don't need people like that in your life. :hug:

I think that it might help if you just move on from this friend because it's not helping you to feel upset. From what I have read you are a really nice person, and yes stay positive and keep yourslef busy this is all part of of the learning process it may not seem so much now but you will look back later in later life and just reflect. I hope this helps you, friend. :):hug:

Aww, you guys are truly true friends. I appreciate you guys helping me, and I'm glad I have you all here on TRF. You are all amazing. :D

Shrantellatessa
21-05-08, 15:05
I would't call her a "friend" coz she's always been there just for her own interest, I wouldn't call it "to lose" coz I've always been better off without her anyway, and a girl who lets her friends down for a guy then she's just not a "friend" and doesn't deserve my friendship.

touchthesky
21-05-08, 15:08
Im sorry about that Matt. I honestly cannot see why he would change so suddenly.


I've lost many close friends. Some to stupidity, some due to moving, and one to downright cruelty on my part.
I'm not proud of that, nor would I repeat it. Ever.

TR93
21-05-08, 15:13
I don't know how some people can be so nasty to their friends.
Your a great guy MattTR, I don't know why anyone would want to lose you as a friend, your a good one.:D:)