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View Full Version : Did my school completely screw me over?


mizuno_suisei
10-12-08, 13:07
Ok, Im probably about to rant and rave, but i'll try not to too much.

As some of you may or may not remember, or may not have even read it, I was complaining about how my year co-ordinator wouldnt allow me to take a same sex partner to the school ball/formal.

So, I got over it. Now, I've finally graduated. I returned to school last week and recieved my year book which displays all the student photos, works etc... (Thought I'd add, they have a biggest emo, funniest boy etc.. section thing. I got Most Changed Since Year 8 and Girly Boy :p )
So, I read through the whole year book and came across an amazing story, about a boy who is in love with his best mate. It was written by a student (unfortunately anonymous as I would have congradulated him/her on such a great story) Well, this story got really indepth, an exact quote being "He moved his hand down my chest and into the wasteline of my boardies" It didn't get any more sexual than that (unfortunately :p )

What ****es me off is, that the SAME woman who didnt allow me to bring another guy to the ball, was the one who had to read every single thing that was to be printed in this book, which every student gets. She would have read that story obviously, or it wouldnt be in there.

So, At the end of Last week, I rang my school and got connected to my ex year co-ordinator. I went ABSOLUTELY nuts at her, I don't think I'd cried and sweared to much in such little time. It may seem silly to some of you that I cried, but it just got me really angry and upset. I wouldnt be suprised if she didnt understand a word I said, I was speaking so fast, so upset. After all these years of constant bullying from everyone around me, and not getting any assistance from teachers or staff, only my friends. Eventually, she just hung up because I wouldnt let her speak.

I left it at that for the time being.

So, Today, After a day out with my bestie, I got home and opened my mail. There was a school Newsletter, and the main headline in big bold print Discrimination - Race, Gender and Sexual Orientation. (Sexual Orientation was bolded, not the other) That, yet again got me cranky.

So, I picked up my phone, and rang my principal instead :whi:
Naturally, I also went off at him. I expressed (more like screamed) my opinion at him. I asked him WHY it took them 5 years to have ANY mention of homosexuality in any sort of school document. I asked him WHY suddenly the school is making an anti-homophobia program so many years too late. I asked heaps more, but I'd be here all day typing.

He said Sorry. He said "Sorry". Thats all he had to say to me. He didnt answer any of my questions. He then arranged a meeting for me and my gran to come in so he can apologise in Person. I think I'll end up lighting a cigarette in there (Well, not really,no matter how much I wish I could xD) I think I'll end up laughing at him. All these years of pain and greif. All these years of getting called a faggot in the classroom and the teacher just turning away. Its scarred me, I know it has, and it won't go away. I didnt deserve it, No one EVER deserves it.

I do thank anyone who managed to read all of that. Now I need your opinion, Do you think my school screwed me over mentally for the past 5years, or if I'm just over-reacting.

Zac,

MattTR
10-12-08, 13:12
I read it, omg that's horrible.. why are people so RACIST or Segregationist should I say?

That's ridiculous how people chew out homosexual people now days, seriously it ****es me off so damn much, and it takes a lot to get me angry.

Love is love, no matter who or what! WHY CAN'T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT? WE HAVE A HARD ENOUGH TIME ALREADY, WHY MAKE IT EVEN WORSE? :(

rowanlim
10-12-08, 13:14
Sorry to hear about what you went through in school, but TBH that's life. Many people are homophobic & they would enforce their values on others without considering the hurt they caused. At least they are taking a step to be more open about it, don't worry about this, you've a whole new life ahead, put this behind & be strong :) :hug:

Legend of Lara
10-12-08, 13:16
I think you have the right to be royally ticked off. That school is obviously extremely slow and clueless about these matters and got stuck with all the hate because of their incapabilities. Which in turn ticks me off.

Why some people have such a beef with homosexuality is beyond me.

Punaxe
10-12-08, 13:16
I don't know your experiences of the past five years, so I can't say much about whether or not "they screwed you over", but yes, you did over-react a bit I think. Calling people and screaming at them is generally a sure-tell sign of an overreaction. A better way might have been to write a letter to the school's magazine (if you have one), neatly putting down all your arguments (as your school probably taught you) and forcing them into a public reaction.
I think it is good of your principal that he wants to apologize in person. Sometimes things come too late, but at least they do come... Perhaps you could invite your local newspaper to his apology-session :)

mizuno_suisei
10-12-08, 13:22
Thankyou for supporting me guys. I'm very touched really. I thought everyone would say I over-reacted.

I don't know your experiences of the past five years, so I can't say much about whether or not "they screwed you over", but yes, you did over-react a bit I think. Calling people and screaming at them is generally a sure-tell sign of an overreaction. A better way might have been to write a letter to the school's magazine (if you have one), neatly putting down all your arguments (as your school probably taught you) and forcing them into a public reaction.
I think it is good of your principal that he wants to apologize in person. Sometimes things come too late, but at least they do come... Perhaps you could invite your local newspaper to his apology-session :)

Thanks for that Punaxe. I do agree, I shouldnt have called and yelled. BUT It was a VERY new thing to me. I dont think I'd ever done anything like it, I always used to get nervous fighting with my friends, even on the phone and internet. But my anger and disgust was so High, I was able to do that, and I feel its a good thing, I have broken that barrier of being frightened of people for no good reason. I know I over reacted in doing that, but I don't really believe I over-reacted in what I am feeling. Thanks again.

Punaxe
10-12-08, 13:27
Thankyou for supporting me guys. I'm very touched really. I thought everyone would say I over-reacted.



Thanks for that Punaxe. I do agree, I shouldnt have called and yelled. BUT It was a VERY new thing to me. I dont think I'd ever done anything like it, I always used to get nervous fighting with my friends, even on the phone and internet. But my anger and disgust was so High, I was able to do that, and I feel its a good thing, I have broken that barrier of being frightened of people for no good reason. I know I over reacted in doing that, but I don't really believe I over-reacted in what I am feeling. Thanks again.

I don't think you were over-reacting in what you were feeling, either, just in how you handled it. It helped you feel better and probably gave your councellor and principal a good message of just how bothered their students were with it, so it may actually be a good thing... Just not the right thing :)

Lara's Backpack
10-12-08, 13:38
Oh please.

1) Its highschool.
2) Its Perth.
3) Its Australia

3 big anti-gays for you. :wve:

Smile and jog on.

mizuno_suisei
10-12-08, 13:47
LOL Good point Lara's backpack. I agree with the highschool, australia, but not too much Perth. Perth has suprisingly been a moderately OK city in regard to it. I havent had as much crap said to me outside of school than inside. But, I dont know what its like in other Aus cities.

Lara's Backpack
10-12-08, 13:50
I dont know, I havent been to Sydney or Melbourne for awhile. Our other cities hardly qualify for being titled as such.

But I dont know, Id like the think at least Oxford street was gay territory :p

mizuno_suisei
10-12-08, 13:57
Perth is so unknown. xD Newcastle is in NSW right? I only know of two gay nightclubs in perth, TWO. Pathetic. I'm so going to one or both next year hehe.

I just hope this new anti-homophobia/discrimination program at the school will help other students. I just wish they implemented it 5years ago xD

Lara's Backpack
10-12-08, 14:02
I suppose it is a step in a direction, I just dont know if its the right direction. Idealy there wouldnt be a need for anti-homophobia programs at all.

As for the Newcastle gay scene, Ive only been here a couple of weeks! Im staying with my Mum waiting for my highschool results to come back, and hopefully a few Sydney University offer's will come in the mail shortly after that :jmp:

I went to highschool in a place called Toowoomba, about an hour and a half from Brisbane... I think there was 1 "gay" bar... and by day it was a bikey gang club. Really not my scene :cln:

Swaye
10-12-08, 14:10
That's really sad and unfair. They should have accepted that they cannot ignore homosexuals, and that they deserve every single right heterosexuals have. I hate it when people make such discrimination.

I'm glad you defended your point of view, that you stood up for yourself :)

mizuno_suisei
10-12-08, 14:12
Oh yes I've heard of toowoomba. I know of all these little cities/towns over east, but know barely any out west here where I live. I need to do some more study on Western Australia xD I reckon the national education department should have somewhat of a meeting to adress the issue, but I doubt it will happen >.<

Lara's Backpack
10-12-08, 14:13
Just out of curiosity, what kind of highschool was it?

Public, catholic, Private (grammar or otherwise)?

Angelx14
10-12-08, 14:18
Interesting read.

School mentaly screws everyone. It's a place where gather people who are only at their maturing phase and a place where to show off in front of the others. They bully the weak and different ones ONLY to get the attention from their buddies. That happens in every school, so my answer is yes.

Lara's Backpack
10-12-08, 14:23
Interesting read.

School mentaly screws everyone. It's a place where gather people who are only at their maturing phase and a place where to show off in front of the others. They bully the weak and different ones ONLY to get the attention from their buddies. That happens in every school, so my answer is yes.

I think school is more a coming together of people from every different upbringing, suddenly shoved into one place and given about 5 minutes to establish the unsaid rules to which to conform to.

mizuno_suisei
10-12-08, 14:30
Interesting read.

School mentaly screws everyone. It's a place where gather people who are only at their maturing phase and a place where to show off in front of the others. They bully the weak and different ones ONLY to get the attention from their buddies. That happens in every school, so my answer is yes.

Hi Angelx14. I understand what you mean, but I dont understand what your refering to with 'so my answer is yes'. As in, you think it mentally screwed me, or if I am over-reacting.

Lara's Backpack
10-12-08, 14:35
To be honest though, do you really think you'd liked to have to sit through the programs whilst you were at school there?

Personally Id be really embarressed, like I was during the sex ed classes reguardless that no one in the class knew about my sexuality anyway :p

Besides, wouldnt you just get sneaky little out-of-the-corner looks from the other bogans?

Voni
10-12-08, 14:43
I can see why you're so upset, and I think you have a right to be, but screaming at these guys probably wasn't the best way of going about it.

When you go see the headmaster, just tell him calmly what you told us. Tell him the school was totally backwards in their inclusionary policies. No child should be singled ouyt or ignored by adults when they need help in schools. If it were me I'd tell him I thought it was disgusting that they let this happen, but you're happy they're (finally) doing something about it and you'll be watching closely.

I took a lot of crap at school too, a lot about my weight and appearance and whatnot. I was ignored by teachers too, and it hurt like hell. I've since learned that it's better just to put it behind me, I never have to speak to anyone from that hole again. And believe me, it's rather satisying to hit the 'ignore' button when these assholes try and add me on Facebook!

Minty Mouth
10-12-08, 15:00
Stop looking at it like they screwed you over, Start looking at it like others wont go through the same thing as you did, (Possibly thanks to you)

mizuno_suisei
10-12-08, 15:05
Stop looking at it like they screwed you over, Start looking at it like others wont go through the same thing as you did, (Possibly thanks to you)

In some respect, I do feel that I helped with the sudden change, it was a co-incidental no? But I'm still peeved that they screwed me over. What happened over these years ago are never going to leave. It's not something I cannot unforunately block out.

Ikas90
10-12-08, 15:11
Hi Zac. Interesting read there. I remember very well about you trying to take a guy with you to the formal. But hopefully everything will change for the best. Knowing how much I am against homophobia, you don't want to let your heart become ravaged just because of the way some goofballs treated you. These scars should heal over time.

Taking your anger out on the principal won't make things better though. At least pretend to accept his apology. Things at your school might be different now, and think that it might be thanks to you.

Atlantisfreak666
10-12-08, 15:24
So, I got over it. Now, I've finally graduated. I returned to school last week and recieved my year book which displays all the student photos, works etc... (Thought I'd add, they have a biggest emo, funniest boy etc.. section thing. I got Most Changed Since Year 8 and Girly Boy :p )


Do you get mistaken as a girl too?

mizuno_suisei
10-12-08, 15:33
No, I don't look like a female at all, I don't think I even sound effeminate, I think its the fact that I was open about my sexuality. The other two boys who got into that section are 'straight' and highly effeminate, carson style.

Atlantisfreak666
10-12-08, 15:56
No, I don't look like a female at all, I don't think I even sound effeminate, I think its the fact that I was open about my sexuality. The other two boys who got into that section are 'straight' and highly effeminate, carson style.

Sorry, I'm often described as female so I was just wondering.
:p

viper456
10-12-08, 16:16
I guess you should just try and look at it as "better now than never". I mean I can understand your frustration over all this and my heart goes out to you for being bullied for so many years purely for being who you are. But at least now, hopefully, people in the future who will be in the same situation as you were might have a better chance of being left alone? I guess its just the silver lining on the cloud. Some people are so pathetic and narrow minded, its sickening.

Geck-o-Lizard
10-12-08, 16:30
Sorry to be blunt - you're doing the right thing entirely the wrong way. Screaming at them and acting out of anger is not going to encourage good feelings towards you, or help your cause. If I was in your position I would be writing condemning letters with unfailing politeness. Progress will start to be made when they feel shame for what they did (or failed to do).

You need to tell them how you feel without being aggressive, because aggression makes people lock up. They need to understand and give a genuine apology, not spot a lawsuit on the horizon and give a fearful "sorry".

Betal
10-12-08, 16:34
Sorry to be blunt - you're doing the right thing entirely the wrong way. Screaming at them and acting out of anger is not going to encourage good feelings towards you, or help your cause. If I was in your position I would be writing condemning letters with unfailing politeness. Progress will start to be made when they feel shame for what they did (or failed to do).

Those idiots may have damaged and scarred him for life. He can even be depressed when he's older. And that can even lead to suicide. Even if he doesn't care now. But when he's older it can happen (Just worked about bullying in a project for school)

So he have all the rights to yell at them. I would probably go to them and beat them up so hard so they would never be able to use their legs anymore. :p

Geck-o-Lizard
10-12-08, 16:35
Sure, and I feel the same way about some of my own teachers for very similar reasons. But that's not going to get much progress in terms of equal rights and anti-discrimination against gays, is it?

mizuno_suisei
10-12-08, 16:46
I've read both your opinions Geck-o-lizard and Betal. To be honest, I dont think I could control myself with what I did, It was like shooting him in the head in adrenaline mode :cln: It was wrong to scream and yell, but it FELT SO GOOD. It felt so good to finally stick it to them, and hopefully this breakthrough will help me defend myself in different situations too. I'm off to bed though. Its been a big day. Thanks for all your comments and support everyone :wve:

Atlantisfreak666
10-12-08, 16:53
I think it's disgusting that all your principal can say for himself is "sorry".
:mad:
Little to late much?

Jo269976
10-12-08, 16:55
Gotta wonder why people feel the need to pry into your own personal life, whatever your sexual orientation is your own business, no-one elses.

You have every right to be upset of the subject, I would be too, you have my full support, but I agree with Geck-o-lizard, don't feed any fuel to the fire. If you stay calm (I know how hard that could be) and be civil about the whole thing, it will look all the better on your end. :)

Hateshinai
10-12-08, 17:34
I can't see what's wrong with bringing a same sex partner to the school ball.
Zakkusan, you didn't overreact ;)

toxicraider
10-12-08, 17:41
I think it's disgusting that all your principal can say for himself is "sorry".
:mad:
Little to late much?

why? it wasn't really his fault.
I think maybe you overreacted, ok it was kinda unfair thay they changed their tune after you'd left, but surely the fact they've gotten more acceptive is a good thing? i mean this would have happened all the time for all kinds of prejudice. Hopefully people will be more acceptive of gays by the time we are older, and as far as your school is concerned, you could have helped.
That's just my opinion, i don't mean to sound harsh at all, i've been bullied and teased for a while, but i don't think the teachers should be blamed, from experience, they aren't the ones who set prejudice or hateful views upon the students, although yes the teacher should have allowed you to bring a guy to the ball, it was unfair.

mizuno_suisei
11-12-08, 11:50
why? it wasn't really his fault.
I think maybe you overreacted, ok it was kinda unfair thay they changed their tune after you'd left, but surely the fact they've gotten more acceptive is a good thing? i mean this would have happened all the time for all kinds of prejudice. Hopefully people will be more acceptive of gays by the time we are older, and as far as your school is concerned, you could have helped.
That's just my opinion, i don't mean to sound harsh at all, i've been bullied and teased for a while, but i don't think the teachers should be blamed, from experience, they aren't the ones who set prejudice or hateful views upon the students, although yes the teacher should have allowed you to bring a guy to the ball, it was unfair.

Ofcourse its his fault. Almost every decision made in this school is run through the principal. I had to wait a day after my year co-ordinator to tell me whether or not I could take a guy to the ball, and all she could say it was untraditional which I think is probably what he said. I guess its maybe because some people were born in the generation of sexuality discrimination and some people werent. I do understand you dont mean to be harsh, so thankyou for your opinion ;)

ハテシナイさん、返事したありがとう。 さんせいしますけど、なぜ同姓者と行っては行けなかった分かりませ ん>。< ばか~かな! 日本に似てね?

Paddy
11-12-08, 12:00
You were within your right to react how you did.
Thats disgusting :mad::mad:

Hateshinai
11-12-08, 12:49
Irdk since we've left Japan a long time ago and I never went to public school over there.

If you want me to, I'll ask my parents about how it was when they were young but, you know, they gonna tell me a story that happened 億年 ago :D