View Full Version : Dealing with a break-up.

in these arms
23-12-08, 09:37
Sunday morning I split with my girlfriend because she was lying to me. Thing is she denys the situation and that I've split with her for nothing.
The promise was that she wouldn't talk to her ex again because he beat her alot when she was with him and it worries me when she does talk to him.
Now I look at her bebo and she sbeen talking to him wildly. She even said I'd get back with her in the future but on her ex's bebo page all I can see is "Love Yhoo!" "Heres more luv."

1. I want to try and forget about our break-up and the feelings i've dragged along
2. Is it worth getting my hopes high?

Thanks, oh, and long time no see, eh? ;)

23-12-08, 09:41
Is she worth it?

23-12-08, 09:42
Well perhaps you could talk to her, ask her what she wants; does she want to be with her ex or with you? She can't be with both of you at once, she'll have to make a choice. The best thing to do is to ask her, don't do anything rash. If you believe that she won't be honest with you, then it's not worth pining for her.

in these arms
23-12-08, 09:45
She is everything to me. Buit it gives me bad feelings when I see her talking to him. And since I broke up with her, and I see a picture of her I feel very sick.

23-12-08, 09:47
Has she told you which guy she wants to be with?

in these arms
23-12-08, 09:55
She said he talking to him all because he gave her love and she said "You gotta return love."
And she said she wants be with me. Hmm...

23-12-08, 09:58
^She said she wants to be with him? Then don't hang on to it. Give yourself time to come to terms with it, no point hanging on when she clearly said she wants to be with his ex. It'll be hard but you'll move on. The right girl's out there somewhere, take this as an experience :) :hug:

in these arms
23-12-08, 10:01
Sorry, you have misread. She said she wants to be with ME :ton:

23-12-08, 10:04
Oops. Well go on & ask her. If she wants to be with you & you're not comfortable with her saying sweet nothings to another guy, let her know & work the problem out :tmb:

in these arms
23-12-08, 10:07
Thanks Rowanlim. Merry Christmas :)

23-12-08, 10:26
Wait a minute. Hang on.
You said you saw:

Now I look at her bebo and she sbeen talking to him wildly. She even said I'd get back with her in the future but on her ex's bebo page all I can see is "Love Yhoo!" "Heres more luv."

Confront her with this evidence and ask her to be honest, because to me it's a clear sign of unfaithfulness. If she confess she's with the other guy, then let her be with him, at least she's honest. If she denies it with solid reasons, then she's right. If she denies with lame excuses, dump her like a tonne of bricks.

What's a bebo? A cellphone?

23-12-08, 11:18
The fact that she uses Bebo should be enough to not stay with her... :whi:

23-12-08, 12:08
I have to say, that's a stupid reason to break up. I've had my share of break-ups and they have been just as stupid. The thing is, if you want to get back together you have to tell her. You have to do what you have to in order to get her back. I only did that with one of my girlfriends, the one that really mattered to me. She turned me down, to my big surprise. I thought I had the upper hand, and that was my biggest mistake of all. Not appreciate the person you're with enough. Anyhow, if you tell her how you feel and what you want to do at least you've done your part. You will feel better eventually because you know you did the right thing. Thinking clearly during a break-up can be touch though, I've had some experience in that area. I always thought I did the right thing, but as it turns out I never did. I let my pride get in the way most of the time. Don't let that happen if you care about the girl.

23-12-08, 13:57
If you love someone, and you want them back, you just cant wait around and exspect it to happen, you have to do something. In this case I would tell her how you feel.

in these arms
23-12-08, 15:16
I do. She keeps telling me to stop stressing because I aint getting back with him. Tbh, I'm finding it hard to believe her since I left her.

23-12-08, 15:24
Well your 14, you have your whole life ahead of you.

23-12-08, 15:40
Mate, I know how hard it can be to trust girls. But I don't find this enough of a reason to break up. Tell her that what she's doing is making you upset in a calm, reasonable manner. Not lashing out on her about it. If she really means so much to you, then tell her that. To your surprise you might find that it gets you back together. Then again you might not. I wouldn't break up with someone unless they did something really bad to me. That, my friend, is when it's not worth trying to get back together with someone. They have to be the first one to apologise, and they have to make up for what they've done. Because if you've done absolutely nothing, you have no need to try and win them back. That will be their job. It will be your choice whether you accept them back or not.

But honestly, I don't think this is a big enough issue to break up over. Such jealousy can end relationships pretty quickly. People break up for even stupider reasons than that. If I could give you a list of stupid reasons I'd be here all day.

Get back with her I'd say. Then see how things go. Let her put some effort into the relationship. If it's only you, then it's not worth it, is it?

23-12-08, 15:46
Hmmm i been with my boyfriend for a long while now but still talk to my ex cos we where together for 4 years. I use facebook often to talk to my ex and say stuff like "ILY" OR "Love u" I do it not because i love him actually but cos i do care for him in a friendly way. My boyfriend knows my history with my ex and knows i cant just get him out my life for good, id never cheat, id never lie i love my boyfriend and he knows this.

Maybe its same situation. Just talk to her, if it is you she wants to be with then it could all be a misunderstanding. If shes saying obv flirty stuff and telling him she wants to be with him on bebo then she is lying. But giving someone love on bebo is like a regualler thing it happens frequently.

in these arms
23-12-08, 18:47
She says my main problem is worrying, mainly becuase I hate her talking to her ex's. Maybe I'm paranoid like heck, and I have no faith in our relationship when I should.

Thanks all :)

23-12-08, 18:54
The fact that she uses Bebo should be enough to not stay with her... :whi:


Not worth it, Its fine talking to an ex but the 'love' is more than a tad excessive.

Lee croft
23-12-08, 18:54
sorry to hear that .. i remember the last person i went out with didnt even tell me it was over i had to find out 2 day's later when i was speaking to there new other half on msn

23-12-08, 19:49
Sorry, you have misread. She said she wants to be with ME :ton:

Tell her to bugger off. She's never going to change and you're only going to keep wondering. Your trust has already been lost and that cannot be regained so easily.

Move on to someone that is worthy of your love :hug:

23-12-08, 20:22
mind you isn't it the 'thing' for people on Bebo to give 'love' to each other, usually means very little other than showing off to your friends that you have 'x' amount of people who have sent it to you.

Plus if she is a youngster it seems almost normal for some to speak to other in a overly lovey dovey way.

23-12-08, 20:26
In my experience you can't trust a liar.