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View Full Version : Apologising Sucks. (To Stubborn Folk Anyway)


Biddy
13-02-09, 20:27
We were friends for 3 years. Good friends, as close as ever. But as purberty took it's strike, we matured and started to slowly grow apart. Running out of things to have in common with and getting more awkward moments. Then one day, one her friends claimed how she told her she doesn't 'like' me anymore. It got me upset, as much as I knew it was going to happen anyway. When I confronted her, she refused to tackle the situation. A few month later, I decided to just 'give in' and give her an aplogy note.
I got no response, although I knew she was happy about it. After getting tired of actually waiting for a response, I casually asked her about it online. No response, (this is becoming a pattern, right?) A day later, I recieved a response saying 'I didn't answer because I don't know you, sorry but I've moved on matey.''

God, that sent me off the chair. I wrote a fuming, catty and long-ass reply full of swear words and insults concerning her nose. I lost a bit of control, because I felt so sick at the fact that I always somehow was someone to give in and apologise, I feel like a doormat. I got a threat of course, but I know she won't live up to it.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm trying to move on, but the process seems so difficult.

ShadyCroft
13-02-09, 20:29
Oh my God ! I'm sorry, but what a ***** !

That was really not a nice thing what she did to you. :( I'm so sorry for you. Hope things will be fine with you.

Biddy
13-02-09, 20:32
Thank you ShadyCroft :o

Joely-Moley
13-02-09, 20:34
Well, that sucks. I'm sorry.
Sounds like you are better off without her.

laralover_07
13-02-09, 20:36
I was in the same position a last year. BFF's for the whole of primary school, I move to a private school, she goes council. She calls me stuck-up, I get sick of apologising. We haven't seen each other since.

I'm all the better for it. :)

Sorry to hear though.

Voni
13-02-09, 20:38
I'm not sure why you aplogised in the first place. What for?

Just ignore the stupid arse. People like that are a waste of brain space.

Agent 47
13-02-09, 20:38
We were friends for 3 years. Good friends, as close as ever. But as purberty took it's strike, we matured and started to slowly grow apart. Running out of things to have in common with and getting more awkward moments. Then one day, one her friends claimed how she told her she doesn't 'like' me anymore. It got me upset, as much as I knew it was going to happen anyway. When I confronted her, she refused to tackle the situation. A few month later, I decided to just 'give in' and give her an aplogy note.
I got no response, although I knew she was happy about it. After getting tired of actually waiting for a response, I casually asked her about it online. No response, (this is becoming a pattern, right?) A day later, I recieved a response saying 'I didn't answer because I don't know you, sorry but I've moved on matey.''

God, that sent me off the chair. I wrote a fuming, catty and long-ass reply full of swear words and insults concerning her nose. I lost a bit of control, because I felt so sick at the fact that I always somehow was someone to give in and apologise, I feel like a doormat. I got a threat of course, but I know she won't live up to it.

Whaadoaho? :(

Apologising sucks when you're the one doing it for nothing, it's your former friend that should be apologising to you. Personally i wouldn't accept an apology and i certainly wouldn't give one to someone like that. :)

da tomb raider!
13-02-09, 20:40
I'm sorry to hear that, but things like this often happen when you're growing up. It certainly sounds like you're better off without her though, so I'd just forget about her if I were you...

Biddy
13-02-09, 20:56
I'm not sure why you aplogised in the first place. What for?

Just ignore the stupid arse. People like that are a waste of brain space.


To give her the 'forgive and forget' sign I suppose.
This is the last time I'm ever doing her any favours.

Light a Flare
13-02-09, 21:04
We were friends for 3 years. Good friends, as close as ever. But as purberty took it's strike, we matured and started to slowly grow apart. Running out of things to have in common with and getting more awkward moments. Then one day, one her friends claimed how she told her she doesn't 'like' me anymore. It got me upset, as much as I knew it was going to happen anyway. When I confronted her, she refused to tackle the situation. A few month later, I decided to just 'give in' and give her an aplogy note.
I got no response, although I knew she was happy about it. After getting tired of actually waiting for a response, I casually asked her about it online. No response, (this is becoming a pattern, right?) A day later, I recieved a response saying 'I didn't answer because I don't know you, sorry but I've moved on matey.''

God, that sent me off the chair. I wrote a fuming, catty and long-ass reply full of swear words and insults concerning her nose. I lost a bit of control, because I felt so sick at the fact that I always somehow was someone to give in and apologise, I feel like a doormat. I got a threat of course, but I know she won't live up to it.

Whaadoaho? :(

Your obviously better off without her!

If I'm argueing with someone, I tend to apologise to them, when they're actually in the wrong. It annoys me so much...but it puts a stop to the argument :o

LaF

Tihocan9
13-02-09, 21:08
I've had a similar experience last year as well, I was friends with someone for 3 years and we were the best of friends too, but she often got angry at me for no reason and would expect me to apologize for nothing, she had really low self-esteem too so she always was complaining about herself, I am sorry but I happier without her. It is sometimes good to move on.

Camera Obscura
13-02-09, 23:03
I'm sorry to hear that, but things like this often happen when you're growing up. It certainly sounds like you're better off without her though, so I'd just forget about her if I were you...

Exactly. I don't know why people think friendships are bound to last for eternity. People grow up and grow apart. It's a part of life I suppose. It's a shame that the friendship had to end on a bad note but it's probably for the best and now you (Biddy) can focus on better things now. :)

Paddy
13-02-09, 23:07
Apologising does suck when theyre rude in return, that sucks :( you deserved better than that.

Quasimodo
13-02-09, 23:12
Sometimes apologizing is mostly for the person making the apology. Not that that remark is related to your situation.

You can't make people like or forgive you. I'd just move on, too.

TRhalloween
13-02-09, 23:16
You let her live?

Hipsy_Gypsy
13-02-09, 23:27
Awk, bless. :( :hug: You really are best moving on yourself because she really does seem like an ass and I can understand that you went out of control as you said in writing a nasty response to what she'd said back to you. I was actually going to say there you could've tried saying something to her in person afterwards? I don't know. But the sad truth is that people do move apart and move on and change around with friend group, y'know? My two best friends and I have lost contact and all that jazz lol. I don't really hear from them and I'm at a different Grammer school than they are (they both go to the same school) and to be honest I'm not entirely sure whether they're still close or not.
It is hard sometimes when things like this happen but unfortunately they do. I'm sure you now have some better and closer friends where you are now though, yeah? :) :hug: I wish you lots of luck for the future, chick. ^__^
Blessxxx!

pizzabob18
13-02-09, 23:32
I'm sorry. I've had experiences like that before so I feel your pain. The problem isn't necessarily her. It's the new people she hung out with that changed her personality. These people changed the way she was, and sadly, because she went through adolescence with these "friends" of hers, she grew apart from you. I personally hate it when people get like that, as then people like your friend lose their personality that their old friends and family grew to love.

Biddy
14-02-09, 08:47
You let her live?

In guilt. ;)


Thank you for your advice everyone, I understand the fact that people do grow apart, and there is no point in reviving a friendship that won't work properly anyway.

Psychos'Я'Us
14-02-09, 08:58
Wow...what a *****!
You should just pretend she never existed :mis:
Seriously, with friends like that who needs enemies? :p

Biddy
14-02-09, 09:00
Ditto, lol. :vlol:

TR love
14-02-09, 09:24
Oh my how horrible and no offense, but *****y!

I feel so bad for you!

Shark_Blade
14-02-09, 10:26
Leave the *****, you're better off with more decent people.

BlackRainbow
14-02-09, 10:34
Sounds like she wasn't a very nice friend then. If she could leave you that easily, after 3 years, then you really shouldn't feel bad about it :) She's the one who should be.

lararoxs
14-02-09, 10:40
We were friends for 3 years. Good friends, as close as ever. But as purberty took it's strike, we matured and started to slowly grow apart. Running out of things to have in common with and getting more awkward moments. Then one day, one her friends claimed how she told her she doesn't 'like' me anymore. It got me upset, as much as I knew it was going to happen anyway. When I confronted her, she refused to tackle the situation. A few month later, I decided to just 'give in' and give her an aplogy note.
I got no response, although I knew she was happy about it. After getting tired of actually waiting for a response, I casually asked her about it online. No response, (this is becoming a pattern, right?) A day later, I recieved a response saying 'I didn't answer because I don't know you, sorry but I've moved on matey.''

God, that sent me off the chair. I wrote a fuming, catty and long-ass reply full of swear words and insults concerning her nose. I lost a bit of control, because I felt so sick at the fact that I always somehow was someone to give in and apologise, I feel like a doormat. I got a threat of course, but I know she won't live up to it.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm trying to move on, but the process seems so difficult.

I beleive this is happening to me and my 'friend'. She confronts a problem by giving me the silent treatment. She thinks that if she doesnt talk to me about it or talk to me at all the problems solved. She will never apologize and thinks she is happy because we are not talking and she isnt being confronted.

I' am pulling my hair out! (Not literally.) She really is making me so frustrated and I'm really hitting my head against a wall.

So, yeah... I know how you feel!:hug:

LaraCroftRox
14-02-09, 16:29
....That is so awful. :mad: If I knew this person I would gladly break her face for you.:mad:

Lee croft
14-02-09, 16:39
We were friends for 3 years. Good friends, as close as ever. But as purberty took it's strike, we matured and started to slowly grow apart. Running out of things to have in common with and getting more awkward moments. Then one day, one her friends claimed how she told her she doesn't 'like' me anymore. It got me upset, as much as I knew it was going to happen anyway. When I confronted her, she refused to tackle the situation. A few month later, I decided to just 'give in' and give her an aplogy note.
I got no response, although I knew she was happy about it. After getting tired of actually waiting for a response, I casually asked her about it online. No response, (this is becoming a pattern, right?) A day later, I recieved a response saying 'I didn't answer because I don't know you, sorry but I've moved on matey.''

God, that sent me off the chair. I wrote a fuming, catty and long-ass reply full of swear words and insults concerning her nose. I lost a bit of control, because I felt so sick at the fact that I always somehow was someone to give in and apologise, I feel like a doormat. I got a threat of course, but I know she won't live up to it.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm trying to move on, but the process seems so difficult.

dont worry about it when i was 12 me and my best friend so called had an aregument and never talked since and now im 17 and we had been friends since we were 7 ....
then shortly after that i made a new best friend who ive had many arguements with over the years and are still best friends to this day
so dont worry about it the friends you make in secondary are the ones you'll keep forever

Paddy
14-02-09, 21:00
It is really hard not to worry about it though, I have known 3 people called Adam, made good friends with them only to get sold out, life has a habit of being cruel, but like many have said some people just arent worth the effort if they can do that sort of stuff to you :) its their loss isnt it.

Draco
14-02-09, 22:37
Well an apology is only for one person to be honest and it isn't the person you are apologizing to.

So just let it happen and let it go.

Jo269976
14-02-09, 23:18
You were obviously the more mature and better person for apologising, when you didn't even have to.

Just forget about them, as far as you should be concerned, they don't exist anymore.