PDA

View Full Version : Should Brother and Sister Share a Bedroom?


EmeraldFields
03-03-09, 03:55
From birth through high school, my sister and I shared a bedroom while our brother enjoyed his own room down the hall. We resented his good fortune but never questioned the idea that he, as a boy, should not be sharing a room with us. Brothers and sisters just don't, right?

Well, sometimes limited space requires that they do. When family members outnumber bedrooms and the children are not of the same sex, what choice does a parent have other than to pair up a brother and sister in the same room? That situation is the topic of an interesting debate going on over at Cafe Mom and it is clear that there is no middle ground when it comes to opinions on the subject. While some feel it is no big deal, most are convinced that it is the worst idea ever.

Those who object to the idea of co-ed sleeping arrangements beyond the early years cite fears of raging hormones and natural curiosity getting the better of a brother and sister. While I agree that the situation would probably be awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved, the idea that a parent who does this is "asking for trouble" seems far-fetched.

Also, according to some, such sleeping arrangements are actually illegal in some states. Put a brother and sister in the same room after a certain age and you risk a visit from CPS! I can't find any verification of that particular claim, but many of the parents participating in the discussion clearly believe it to be true.

The bottom line is this: In a perfect world, every child would have his or her own room and the privacy that goes along with it. But few of us live in a perfect world and therefore must make accommodations for our particular situation

Source (http://www.parentdish.com/2009/02/25/should-brother-and-sister-share-a-bedroom/)

What's your opinion?:)

Feather Duster
03-03-09, 03:58
No, girls are different from boys, and boys are different from girls.

IMO:

S-S
and
B-B

freeze10108
03-03-09, 04:02
Well, I'm not against it, but I don't think it's a very good solution either. The brother would have to deal with having all sorts of girly things that she may have lying around, and the sister would have to deal with boyish things lying around. Besides that, what if one or the other wanted to hang up a bedroom poster, for example: the girl wants to hang up a picture of Zac Efron what would the boy think? Or, if the boy wanted to put up a picture of Pamela Anderson, would the sister object?

tranniversary119
03-03-09, 04:05
No, I think it's best a girl has her own room as does a boy-Seperate from each other. Privacy anyone? I mean I can see if your still in the single digits but 10+ I don't agree with.

Laurencarter
03-03-09, 04:08
I think that it all depends on their personalities. And that if they like the same stuff it could work.

madderakka
03-03-09, 04:08
It's not the ideal situation, but I don't see anything horribly wrong with it. My college roomie shared a room with her brother until she went to college because their family had a 2 bedroom apartment.

spikejones
03-03-09, 04:22
my younger sister and I shared a bedroom until about the age that I hit puberty. I tried having my own room before then, but I got scared of being alone when I was used to having my little sister to talk to at night - so I moved back into the room with her most of the nights. The other room was still "mine" but I didn't sleep much in it for a few months.

rowanlim
03-03-09, 06:54
I think when they reach puberty it's better if they sleep separately.

Not sure about everywhere else, but here it's kinda like the training that your sister's a she & your brother's a he, & it's inappropriate for the two of you to sleep together.

Plus there are reports of incest (rape/sex), molest etc which makes us more wary.

EscondeR
03-03-09, 07:04
There is no ultimate solution for this problem IMO. Too many dependencies, can't be solved with undefined variables :)
Must judge every exact case in details: ability to provide privacy, personality, education, etc.

Draco
03-03-09, 07:11
I think it doesn't matter. Privacy is not always something you can have.

digitizedboy
03-03-09, 08:13
I used to share a bedroom until the age of about 12. I don't think there's anything sinister about it though. And I don't think it can be helped in some cases anyway. Especially when you're brought up in a very small house.

Shark_Blade
03-03-09, 08:42
After 5 years old they should be separated imo.

rickybazire
03-03-09, 09:12
Well, I'm not against it, but I don't think it's a very good solution either. The brother would have to deal with having all sorts of girly things that she may have lying around, and the sister would have to deal with boyish things lying around. Besides that, what if one or the other wanted to hang up a bedroom poster, for example: the girl wants to hang up a picture of Zac Efron what would the boy think? Or, if the boy wanted to put up a picture of Pamela Anderson, would the sister object?

Yeah, and what about sleepovers and stuff? And maybe what would happen when they're over 16, and bring people home...

MiCkiZ88
03-03-09, 10:00
I can't really see what's wrong with that. It can bring them closer as family and share their interests.

It might be wrong for those who want to enforce the girl - boy stereotypes of how they should grow up. Girls with barbies and boys with action hero dolls. ''Cause it's just right.''

Tina Croft
03-03-09, 10:21
as long as they don't share a bed... :p

Voni
03-03-09, 10:46
It's all very well and good but if you don't have enough room, what else can you do? Stick one of them out in the hall?

disneyprincess20
03-03-09, 10:53
Personally, I don't think it's something any Government should legislate against. They can't force people to buy bigger houses because they have a boy and a girl but only one bedroom for them. It's entirely up to the family how they deal with this situation: Some children would be very happy to share rooms, where as other siblings would have a big problem with it. I hope never to have my children sleep in the same room for very long (my sister and I never shared, we just wouldn't have got on that well together in the same room) but I'd never enforce my views on this on to other families: They may want their children to share, or as Voni pointed out, they might need the children to share a room, purely because they don't have the space.

Lara Croft!
03-03-09, 11:35
The best solution is for everyone to have his own room and privacy. If that's impossible, then siblings of the same sex is the best way to go. But it also depends on age. For example, I have a sister 9 years older and a brother 10 years older. When they were teenagers and we lived in another house they had to share a room, but even though they had different sex, they both preferred being together that with their 10-year-old sister.:D

And there was a short period that I had to share my room with my brother and I was totally ok about it.

Ada the Mental
03-03-09, 12:10
I don't think it's exactly an ideal situation but if it's the only choice there's nothing wrong with it. IMO, it's only really a problem after the siblings hit puberty and only as far as privacy and practicality are concerned (and those are problems that can arise with same sex siblings sharing a room, too).

I used to share a room with my brother and my sister in our old house. Luckily, we all have our own bedroom now. And I have to share a room with both my brother and my cousin when we sleep at our grandparents' house during the summer. It's actually fun. Unless you count that my brother usually snores. :p

Jack Croft
03-03-09, 13:56
as long as they don't share a bed... :p

Exactly.

Rai
03-03-09, 14:11
I think it is okay up until puberty, then brothers and sisters should have seperate rooms. I don't think it is against the law as such as somestimes it can't be helped, but I do know that ideally they should have seperate rooms. I know that councils will house their tennants in homes with enough bedrooms to accommadate single sex sleeping arrangements whereever possible.

madderakka
03-03-09, 16:39
Those that worry about incest, would you require separate rooms if 2 same gender siblings were homosexual? What about bisexual siblings?

I just really don't think sharing a room fosters incest.

Chocola teapot
03-03-09, 16:43
Yes, Innocent siblings sharing a room.... Should be legal.

toxicraider
03-03-09, 17:17
I'd just find that annoying and awkward.
I sometimes share a room with my sister on holidays, but never at home, thank god.

TRhalloween
03-03-09, 17:23
Those that worry about incest, would you require separate rooms if 2 same gender siblings were homosexual? What about bisexual siblings?

I just really don't think sharing a room fosters incest.

I don't think anyone is referring to incest.

I had the same room with my sister until I was about 5. We would both hate having the same room now, though. That would be awful.

ben_the_joka
03-03-09, 17:38
Omg how can people actually think that natural curiosity would get the better of a brother and sister. That is effing disgusting!

jackles
03-03-09, 17:40
Not after puberty definitely...privacy between genders.

TRfan23
03-03-09, 17:52
I've never shared the same room with my sister my whole life, or maybe once when having a little party or something, yonks back. But not normally, I always shared a room with my brother, until like about 9 or 10, started having my own.
Though I think the first night on my own, I cried :o

I'd just find that annoying and awkward.
I sometimes share a room with my sister on holidays, but never at home, thank god.

Same lol, it's horrible, my sister snores :(
Then my sister complains me on snoring :(
That's the main reason I hate going on holiday with my family. I'm going holiday again this April with my family, but luckily I have a room to myself, as my brothers not coming... phew... :)

ShadyCroft
03-03-09, 17:56
Well, if neither mind it then I think its ok. But most of the times, girls and boys will want to have their private belongings, privacy and their own room with their own theme and design...and that's when they'll need separate rooms. :)

scion05
03-03-09, 19:07
Only in Virginia :whi:

I kid, I kid :D

madderakka
03-03-09, 19:58
I don't think anyone is referring to incest.

I had the same room with my sister until I was about 5. We would both hate having the same room now, though. That would be awful.

It was mentioned, check back through the thread.

Aphrodite22
03-03-09, 20:10
it depends.. if u have money 4 a big house, girls and boys should have their own bedroom.. but if u dont have alot of money and live in a small house, i see nothing wrong with a brother and sister sharing bedroom

LaraCablara
03-03-09, 20:16
Natural curiosity? Siblings? Wtf?

If you had a sister you would know that that is just disgusting.

Some people don't have the space, in fact we both shared a living room.

Tonyrobinson
03-03-09, 20:40
I don't think it's wrong for opposite sex siblings to share a room up until they are 5 or 6. Once puberty kicks in though they'd want their own privacy :)

AmericanAssassin
03-03-09, 21:23
I think it's okay from infancy to about age 11 (elementary age). When they hit puberty, not so much. However, even that should depend on a families financial situation. It's not always possible for some families to buy a large home...

TRhalloween
03-03-09, 21:25
It was mentioned, check back through the thread.

I don't think it was.

laralover_07
03-03-09, 21:34
In families where siblings share a room, usually it's the least of the families problems. I shared a bedroom with my sister until as recently as two months ago. Me being 14, my sister being 8. It couldn't be helped. My parents now sleep in the living room just so I can have my own space.

My council works rented houses on a brownie point scale. You get 4 points for each child, 3 points if you are in a flat, 6 points if a family member has a disability. The families with the most points get priority. Because my flat is ground floor with two gardens, we missed out on about 8 points, which would have put us further up the list.

We are in the middle of buying our flat so we can move, but it won't be any time soon, and there are worse off families around my area.

madderakka
03-03-09, 22:38
I don't think it was.



Plus there are reports of incest (rape/sex), molest etc which makes us more wary.

It was.

Jedd Fletcher
05-03-09, 05:32
I think it's okay in the early years, but when both brother and sister hit puberty sometimes incestuous thoughts are natural and it is best that they are kept separate. I know many families whose children sleep in the same room then move out to a separate room when they reach teenhood. I think it's okay to share rooms between siblings of the same gender, I've slept in the same room as my brother all my life.

oocladableeblah
05-03-09, 05:37
So why are the brother and sister sharing the room and the other brother gets his own. Shouldn't the two brothers be sleeping in the same room???

As for whether they should or not. Well I think they should be separate after a certain age.

aileenwuornos
05-03-09, 05:42
No, I think it's best a girl has her own room as does a boy-Seperate from each other. Privacy anyone? I mean I can see if your still in the single digits but 10+ I don't agree with.
Pretty much.
But I'm an only child, so what would I know ;)

Elmer
05-03-09, 05:52
What I ask myself is... what do they want?
If they don't have any problem with sleeping in one room, why would we have?
It's a matter of them wanting or not wanting their privacy.

almayah
01-05-10, 20:25
In my religion it's not allowed to place brother and sister in a same room, so no

IceColdLaraCroft
01-05-10, 20:29
I don't think there's a problem until one of them is old enough to masturbate. Then you need your own space.

tombraiderluka
01-05-10, 20:30
In my religion it's not allowed to place brother and sister in a same room, so no
And what religion is that?

TRfan23
01-05-10, 20:31
And what religion is that?

Probably Islam, I'm gonna check this out.

MangelinaJolie
01-05-10, 20:32
Quite a bump...

robm_2007
01-05-10, 20:35
if they are babies, or under 10, then its okay.

but if i was a single father, and i had a son and a daughter (who are over 10), and we only had 2 bedrooms; i would share the master bedroom with my son, and give the daughter her own room.

MangelinaJolie
01-05-10, 20:36
Imagine she's your grandmother.

On that subject...

6EHPBSHVo3I

TRfan23
01-05-10, 20:38
^ Biologically having the same genes, and having a baby with them can risk it being deformed. That's totally gross :(

MangelinaJolie
01-05-10, 20:39
Fortunately it's with a surrogate. Still a bit disturbing. An interesting point is brought up, however... genetic sexual attraction. That alone makes me think sharing a bedroom between teenage boy and girl siblings is bad.

tonyme
01-05-10, 20:41
I shared a room with my sister for 18 years of my life, and I still share a room with her in my house in the mountains during the summer. I love it, she loves it, we have lots of fun.:)

Kelly Craftman
01-05-10, 20:43
I don't think there's a problem until one of them is old enough to masturbate. Then you need your own space.

:vlol:
This.

xXhayleyroxXx
01-05-10, 20:46
I dont really see anything wrong with it -- but its not the best situation. Sister and sister or brother and brother is okay though - i share a room with my sis :)

da tomb raider!
01-05-10, 20:55
Ideally, I think that brothers and sisters should have seperate rooms, but, as long as they don't share the same bed and don't do anything weird together, I don't see much of a problem in a shared bedroom. The main problem is of course privacy, but I imagine that most siblings can get around this by not always being in the same room at the same time, or just asking for it for a while. At least, that's what I did when I shared a room with my sister, and most of the time it was effective enough, if a tad inconvienient. And whilst I'm sure that we'd both have prefered our own rooms, at least that through sharing a room, we had a closer friendship than most brothers and sisters do, I think. It makes it quite worth it if you ask me.

Love2Raid
01-05-10, 21:08
What, why not? I don't see anything wrong with it. :confused:

Uzi master
01-05-10, 21:16
What, why not? I don't see anything wrong with it. :confused:

Then I geuss you dont have some sick thoughts like some people too, seriously a brother and sister, as teenagers together, eww.

Love2Raid
01-05-10, 21:18
Indeed I don't.

Peanut
01-05-10, 21:18
Its okay.
What kind of brother and sister would be sexually attracted to each other. :(
Ew. But I have to say that as you get older you need your privacy so I would say, in Teen years brothers and sisters should not share a bedroom. :)

Privacy and random *****ing. :p
like: "KEEP YOUR **** ON YOUR BED!" "SHUT UP *****!"

trlestew
01-05-10, 21:19
I'm 14, my sister's 18. We share the living room. (Since my parents took the only bedroom) And I'm fine with it,except when I need privacy >_<

And the thought of being sexually attracted to my sister is disgusting. I dont even see how thats possible for people.

Uzi master
01-05-10, 21:22
unless you count egyptians, but thats literally ancient historry and today theres just no way someone would be attracted to a sibbling. Its just not in current social culture.

TRfan23
01-05-10, 21:24
^ Yes it is possible to be attracted to bro & sis etc... Besides animals do, no doubting that.

Lemmie
01-05-10, 21:25
I shared a room with my sister for a while, but ideally I think children should have their own rooms.

igonge
01-05-10, 21:26
When they're young, ages 7 and under.

HappyShannon
01-05-10, 21:30
If it's necessary I guess they could, but I think it would be better if brother & brother or sister & sister shared a room, or if they just had enough rooms for everyone (easier said than done :p).