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silver_wolf
05-03-09, 23:23
17 may be too young to have an "identity crisis", but it seems too old to me to not have at least some sort of concrete idea as to who you are. I know everyone is still "discovering themselves" around this age, but it's driving me nuts. It's like every few days I'm a different person, I can never settle. I have no idea "who I am". Sometimes I'll be really confident for a while, but then it's a like a relapse into confusion; I won't know if I'm gay or straight, or if I want to be around people or on my own, or if I'm loving life or am sick of it. I know what I want to do later in my life, I just don't know who I want to be, or who I am now. I don't know what I hope to accomplish by posting this, really I just wanted to get it off my chest, and maybe some of you will be able to offer some advice. But the fact is I'll be 18 in a few months and I'm driving myself crazy trying to figure out who I am.:hea:

Reggie
05-03-09, 23:48
SW, I may as well have written the same thing! Last year was particularly confusing for me and a lot of confusion persists today - so I can totally relate to where you're coming from. The whole gay/straight thing, the confidence/confusion, sick of life/loving it and for me which job to go for in later life. I go through all this each day and I've had to learn to take each individual day as it comes because overthinking it, which is so easy will result in depression. Been there, done that, don't want to go back there.

Its good that you know what job you want though, I can't decide on a uni course yet let alone a job. Here's the jobs I've considered before:

Games Designer (most recent)
Archaeologist
Teacher (History, Japanese, Art - pick one >.<)
Lawyer
Military
Psychologist
Counsellor
International Diplomat

So yeah, I can relate to your feelings of confusion :hea:

Nefertiti_89
05-03-09, 23:48
Don't worry, everyone goes through this kind of thing, well at least I did. I went through it a bit earlier but circumstances change things. I just went with the flow, if I felt like doing something, I'd do it and so on and so forth. Maybe once you turn 18 and get to see a bit of a different world you might gain a better understanding into who you are but for the moment, just know its a natural thing when you're in your teens and early 20s to feel a bit lost inside yourself, and trying to figure it out is just another part of the adventure.

spikejones
05-03-09, 23:51
what you are experiencing is normal for everyone. I won't say "you are still going through puberty" because I don't know that for certain, but you undoubtedly are still a ball of raging hormones. as for sexual preference... I can't tell you that. That is something you have to decide for yourself. Does the sight of a man make you horny? Does the sight of a woman make you horny? Your brain will react to certain stimuli and send hormones through your body in response to that. So however your body reacts to something, should give you an indication in that regard.

does that help? or were you looking at a grander schema than that?

Bobsyeruncle
06-03-09, 00:05
You are who you are from moment to moment. At this moment, you're confused. This is not unusual for a 17 year old, in fact, it's base normal.

You do have a leg up, though, as you say you know what you want to do later in life. That gives you a good compass needle to follow. Don't be worried if that goal changes later, as you experience and learn new things. The important thing is to have a goal.

It is also not unusual to reinvent yourself periodically throughout the rest of your life (at least through middle age, which is all i can vouch for by way of experience). Some core personality traits and values will always be there, but yeah, you can change, and you will be changed from experiences in your life. You should strive to make your own choices whenever possible, but sometimes it isn't possible. Knowing which situation is which is the trick.

At your age, many people are trying to figure out how they fit into the society in which they live. That experience is the same, but it is different for every individual.

A very intelligent boss of mine once told me, in relation to items at work; "In our line of work, you have to be comfortable with ambiguity. The clear and certain things usually aren't, really". Life in general is like that.

A good way to gauge the level of knowledge a person has about a given thing is to see how vehement they are in their belief. The more certain about something abstract one is, usually, the less they really know about it. Greater knowledge brings more competing shades of understanding, and more questions.

This does not mean everything is relative or without meaning, but it does mean there aren't a lot of "Aha! It's all clear to me now!" moments in life.

Doubt any of this blathering helped, but there you are and I hope it might. About the only thing for certain I can say about life, is that lasting confidence in yourself comes from doing difficult things successfully, even if you fail at them on the first (or third or tenth) try.

silver_wolf
06-03-09, 00:22
SW, I may as well have written the same thing! Last year was particularly confusing for me and a lot of confusion persists today - so I can totally relate to where you're coming from. The whole gay/straight thing, the confidence/confusion, sick of life/loving it and for me which job to go for in later life. I go through all this each day and I've had to learn to take each individual day as it comes because overthinking it, which is so easy will result in depression. Been there, done that, don't want to go back there.

Its good that you know what job you want though, I can't decide on a uni course yet let alone a job. Here's the jobs I've considered before:

Games Designer (most recent)
Archaeologist
Teacher (History, Japanese, Art - pick one >.<)
Lawyer
Military
Psychologist
Counsellor
International Diplomat

So yeah, I can relate to your feelings of confusion :hea:
yeah, I'm always glad I can be one of the people who raises his hand when asked "how many of you know what you want to do?". Archeology for me :D
does that help? or were you looking at a grander schema than that?
well, it sort of helps. to be honest I'm not certain what I was looking for, but thanks:hug:
overall thanks for the replies.:D

Reggie
06-03-09, 12:30
yeah, I'm always glad I can be one of the people who raises his hand when asked "how many of you know what you want to do?". Archeology for me :D

well, it sort of helps. to be honest I'm not certain what I was looking for, but thanks:hug:
overall thanks for the replies.:D

That's good though. At the moment I'm considering the international diplomat thing again. I can imagine lots of avenues being available from that job and it would have travel oppurtunities and a chance to make a difference hopefully. I know I want that.

I hope you work things out. :)