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spikejones
08-03-09, 19:43
Edit for those who are just now coming to the thread:

Hey... just thought I'd jump in here and say that we don't necessarily need to stick to only answering the OP question anymore - I've stopped tallying the responses now since I made my other thread. But feel free to discuss the topic as related to the thread title ;)





Two part questionaire:

1. Are you male or female?
2. Would you rather do the asking, or be asked out?

we can leave sexual orientation out of this unless you feel so inclined. Its not a part of what I want to know. I just want to see an overall picture of male vs. female perspective of who should do the asking. Thanks. I'll try to come up with a graphical chart depicting the results. (TRF poll options don't work for what I need, since it is two pronged.) Feel free to add comments though.

------------------

Me:
1. male
2. I would rather be asked out.

laralover_07
08-03-09, 19:43
Male, I would rather be asked out.

DickDan
08-03-09, 19:46
Male, I would rather be asked out.

Same.

jackles
08-03-09, 19:46
female: would rather be asked out!




Hmmm i can see a theme going on here...

rickybazire
08-03-09, 19:46
1) Male.
2) I'd want to ask her out, but I'd at least want to know if she liked me a bit first of all. It would make me feel like more of a man if I ask her out. If I got asked out, then that's pretty kool :D.

The1andOnlyTR
08-03-09, 19:51
Male, I would rather be asked out.

Saammee...
Are you asking for any spacific reason??
Like for a class or something??

violentblossom
08-03-09, 19:53
Female. I'd rather be asked out, but ironically, i initiated my current relationship, so it doesn't hurt to be daring. :D

silver_wolf
08-03-09, 20:07
Male. I'd rather be asked out to be honest, 'cause I get too nervous to ask anyone out:o

toxicraider
08-03-09, 20:09
Male, and I'd rather be asked out, unless I knew that they liked me back.

VonCroy360
08-03-09, 20:11
I guess everyone would rather be asked, it's not like anyone's enjoying facing possible rejection, it's just something that, let's say needs to be done.
I'm male btw.

Nannonxyay
08-03-09, 20:13
I'm Female and would rather be asked out. It'd make me feel special. :p

Lee croft
08-03-09, 20:13
male
and id love to be asked out lol!!!

Ntchwaidumela
08-03-09, 20:27
36 yr old male..

And I like to do the asking thank you very much!
Come on guys what's wrong with you all, suck it up, smell the fear and jump straight in!

It's all part of the fun....

What's the worst that can happen, she says no!?..
Big deal, just means more Tomb raiding time..:)

digitizedboy
08-03-09, 20:30
Male

Doing the asking, because being a male that seems more natural. Not like I get much success though... Sometimes I wished I was a girl so I would be asked after a lot. sucks being alone.

CerebralAssassin
08-03-09, 20:34
Male

Doing the asking, because being a male that seems more natural. Not like I get much success though... Sometimes I wished I was a girl so I would be asked after a lot. sucks being alone.

every single day I wished I was a girl...I just have the personality type of a girl...ah well...i'm stuck with this damn body!!:hea:

Seb_01225
08-03-09, 20:36
Male, I'd rather be asked out :)

digitizedboy
08-03-09, 20:38
every single day I wished I was a girl...I just have the personality type of a girl...ah well...i'm stuck with this damn body!!:hea:

you could always have a sex change.

Buffy87
08-03-09, 20:38
1.Female
2. Would rather be asked out generally - I have a total fear of rejection ever since some lovely boy told me I was aiming too high for my "hotness level".I was apparently a 4 to his 10. Oh yes... put me off asking people out for life. And yes he did get a smack about the face.

Siberian Tiger
08-03-09, 20:39
I'm male and I'd rather be asked out; let me develop a bit of a complex. :tea:

silver_wolf
08-03-09, 20:40
this thread is telling me that all people who post on forums are, in fact, socially retarded:p

digitizedboy
08-03-09, 20:43
this thread is telling me that all people who post on forums are, in fact, socially retarded:p

you could be right. don't exclude yourself though.

CerebralAssassin
08-03-09, 20:43
you could always have a sex change.

ah **** no....I'll just go with what nature gave me...along with this stupid mind!!:rolleyes:

violentblossom
08-03-09, 20:43
this thread is telling me that all people who post on forums are, in fact, socially retarded:p

:(

why so?

i asked my fiancee out, and i'm a chick.

silver_wolf
08-03-09, 20:43
you could be right. don't exclude yourself though.
oh, I'm not. I fall smack-dab in the middle of that category :vlol:
:(

why so?
it was sort of a joke. I just noticed that many people here seem to have a fear of rejection or something that inhibits them from interacting with other people...myself included.

jackles
08-03-09, 20:45
The thing is most of us would prefer not to flirt with rejection...perhaps we should be saying what we would do in reality. :)

violentblossom
08-03-09, 20:46
it was sort of a joke. I just noticed that many people here seem to have a fear of rejection or something that inhibits them from interacting with other people...myself included.

i didn't take offense to it, just wondering. :)

i think its nice to be asked out because you know you're sought after. :jmp:

silver_wolf
08-03-09, 20:47
right :D

digitizedboy
08-03-09, 20:48
The thing is most of us would prefer not to flirt with rejection...perhaps we should be saying what we would do in reality. :)

rejection is commonplace with moi! so if someone suddenly came out the blue and said "YAH! I'd go with you" I'd probably faint on the floor.

Siberian Tiger
08-03-09, 20:48
I'm shy, but once I've got a drink in me I generally have a "oh f it" attitude. But that's not right, I should not be dependent on alcohol! :p

Joely-Moley
08-03-09, 20:50
1. Are you male or female? Male,
2. Would you rather do the asking, or be asked out? I'd rather do the asking out, as scary as it can be. Not against being asked out though.

Tomb-Dude
08-03-09, 20:51
1) male
2) Rather ask out. But been turned down soooooo many times, like knowing if they like me a bit before i make a move though ;)

Buffy87
08-03-09, 21:15
The rejection issue - well.. I'm usually pretty confident but I guess it stems from always being the one in my group that never seems to get asked out. I don't know why...either I'm seriously unattractive in looks or personality or I intimidate people somehow.Not physically intimidate but well you know...and then when I do get asked out its by men old enough to be my father or the crazy/psychopathic type of man.

I'm totally open to respectable men asking me out though - would make a nice change :D.

jackles
08-03-09, 21:17
The rejection issue - well.. I'm usually pretty confident but I guess it stems from always being the one in my group that never seems to get asked out. I don't know why...either I'm seriously unattractive in looks or personality or I intimidate people somehow.Not physically intimidate but well you know...and then when I do get asked out its by men old enough to be my father or the crazy/psychopathic type of man.

I'm totally open to respectable men asking me out though - would make a nice change :D.


maybe unrespectable men are more immune to rejection eh? ;)

Ntchwaidumela
08-03-09, 21:18
Good lad..

I assume the average 'high traffic age' on this site is probably between 14-25.
So, that said, I can tell you that the older you get the easier it gets..

I love asking girls out, it's such a thrill. There is a lot to be said for the thrill of the chase being often better than the catch..

Trust me, regardless of your appearance or lack of confidence, ANYONE can do it.. And as I say, what's the worst that can happen..;

GUY: "Wanna go out some time this week for a beer or something?"
GAL: "Ermm...sorry, I'm flattered but...no thanks"
GUY: "No worries, some other time then. Cheers"

Hardly a horrendous ordeal is it??!
You have to be in it to win as they say...
Go on ask someone out today, you never know you may surprise yourselves..

WOOT! WOOT!

Lew
08-03-09, 21:19
Male, rather be asked out.

silver_wolf
08-03-09, 21:19
Good lad..

I assume the average 'high traffic age' on this site is probably between 14-25.
So, that said, I can tell you that the older you get the easier it gets..

I love asking girls out, it's such a thrill. There is a lot to be said for the thrill of the chase being often better than the catch..

Trust me, regardless of your appearance or lack of confidence, ANYONE can do it.. And as I say, what's the worst that can happen..;

GUY: "Wanna go out some time this week for a beer or something?"
GAL: "Ermm...sorry, I'm flattered but...no thanks"
GUY: "No worries, some other time then. Cheers"

Hardly a horrendous ordeal is it??!
You have to be in it to win as they say...
Go on ask someone out today, you never know you may surprise yourselves..

WOOT! WOOT!
ugh it works completely different in high school...well, my high school anyways.

jackles
08-03-09, 21:22
Good lad..

I assume the average 'high traffic age' on this site is probably between 14-25.
So, that said, I can tell you that the older you get the easier it gets..
I love asking girls out, it's such a thrill. There is a lot to be said for the thrill of the chase being often better than the catch..

Trust me, regardless of your appearance or lack of confidence, ANYONE can do it.. And as I say, what's the worst that can happen..;

GUY: "Wanna go out some time this week for a beer or something?"
GAL: "Ermm...sorry, I'm flattered but...no thanks"
GUY: "No worries, some other time then. Cheers"

Hardly a horrendous ordeal is it??!
You have to be in it to win as they say...
Go on ask someone out today, you never know you may surprise yourselves..

WOOT! WOOT!


I dunno...I am way older than that...... Blokes don't ask anymore when you get to my age! :D

spikejones
08-03-09, 21:23
Saammee...
Are you asking for any spacific reason??
Like for a class or something??

in response to a different thread where I was somewhat accused of being sexist for thinking that women prefer to be asked out - rather than to do the asking. not to shove anything in any ones face or anything, its a simple fact finding quest of the human psyche.
I guess everyone would rather be asked, it's not like anyone's enjoying facing possible rejection, it's just something that, let's say needs to be done.
I'm male btw.
I have not included your answer in the results because you jumped to a conclusion of the results instead of answering the question at hand. The poll will show the results if everyone can cooperate and answer the question based upon their own mindset, and not a hypothesis.
this thread is telling me that all people who post on forums are, in fact, socially retarded:p
perhaps we are... but when it all comes down to it - we are all real people are we not. our opinions and mindsets are no less real than if we did not post on TRF everyday. But that is an interesting theory you have. perhaps one should do a poll with a third option -- "do you spend lots of time on internet forums?" and subdivide the results yet again, to see if perhaps there is a correlation between our habbits and our mindsets of being asked out. what do you think would be the results? equal across the board, or skewed?
The thing is most of us would prefer not to flirt with rejection...perhaps we should be saying what we would do in reality. :)
I was looking at the psyche actually. This poll isn't really interested in WHY a person thinks a certain way - just interested in WHAT they think. (although, I as a person do care as to why a person thinks a certain way.)
1. Are you male or female? Male,
2. Would you rather do the asking, or be asked out? I'd rather do the asking out, as scary as it can be. Not against being asked out though.
Odd... I thought you were a girl :yik: sorry:o

so here's the ting so far - we have 14 males to have responded, and 4 females. We need more females to draw a better picture.

edit: crap... I should have wrote down the number for the last post I added to the poll. :hea:

Agent 47
08-03-09, 21:25
male
rather be asked (no embarrassment being told to play with traffic that way) :D

tombfan91
08-03-09, 21:28
male
id do the asking.

nothing wrong with flirting a bit with the girl before asking her out. works all the time. it's better to take the risk then to not take it all. and it's well worth ti ^_^

Ntchwaidumela
08-03-09, 21:31
ugh it works completely different in high school...well, my high school anyways.

Don't try too hard then.. And wait to you go to college instead.
Jesus, I'm 36 and didn't lose ones cherry until I was 19..

Did I miss anything at school by not 'going out' with a girl??...........Nope.
In fact the phrase 'going out with..' was just that, a phrase.

Of all the friends I had at school who 'allegedly' had girlfriends there, pretty much just occasionally held hands at break time. That was the extent of their 'going out'

Pure comedy...

Seriously wait until you get to about 19+ It will all come as naturally as pinching a loaf!

spikejones
08-03-09, 21:34
placeholder... please wait while current results are tallied and graphed
http://i383.photobucket.com/albums/oo279/stryderjones/trf/datingpsyche.jpg

results still a bit skewed in the M:F ratio - I'd like a better balance between males and females in order to draw some conclusions.

Ntchwaidumela
08-03-09, 21:48
This shows me that some boys are either too shy, too lazy, or too scared.

Probably because they play too much TR...!!:D

Punaxe
08-03-09, 21:49
Not sure if you're asking the right question... Do you want to know if I'd rather be asked, or do you want to know if I think I should be doing the asking? Because I think everyone would rather be asked instead of doing the asking, since that's the easiest :p

LaraCroftRox
08-03-09, 21:51
Female,
Rather Be Asked. ;)

Joely-Moley
08-03-09, 21:58
Odd... I thought you were a girl :yik: sorry:o

[/B]

HAHA, well, that's a first.
I thought Joely-Moley gave it away hahah, My names Joel btw. :

spikejones
08-03-09, 22:03
This shows me that some boys are either too shy, too lazy, or too scared.

Probably because they play too much TR...!!:D
nope..... I've been that way loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong before I started playing TR. I'm 24 years old and only got into TR a couple years ago with AOD. (see my join date - I had tech issues with it when I got to Strahov fortress and needed to join for some support). In fact, I'm not lazy or scared either. I admit I'm a bit shy and scared of being rejected, that has been covered. The laziness I don't see how that factors in - but please feel free to explain what you mean there.
Not sure if you're asking the right question... Do you want to know if I'd rather be asked, or do you want to know if I think I should be doing the asking? Because I think everyone would rather be asked instead of doing the asking, since that's the easiest :p
well.. I want to know the thought of what you prefer doing. someone may say I prefer to be asked because XYZ reason - someone may say I prefer to do the asking because of same XYZ reason (ie.. some people loathe taking the easy route for example). The question is right. I'm not looking for a sexist answer based on what do guys and gals think about who should do the asking - I'm instead looking to formulate an overall statement about what people WANT. we already see that some guys prefer to do the asking, but not yet that any girls do. could this mean that girls are not of the go getter attitude? or is it something else.... personally, I think there is not enough data to formulate an accurate statement about the results.
Female,
Rather Be Asked. ;)
thanks for obliging :hug:
HAHA, well, that's a first.
I thought Joely-Moley gave it away hahah, My names Joel btw. :
I was reading it as Joely = Angelina Jolie
Holy Moley became Joley Moley to say "holy moley - angelina jolie"

I dunno... my brain is warped I guess.

ShadyCroft
08-03-09, 22:16
Male.
Rather be asked.

Joely-Moley
08-03-09, 22:17
I was reading it as Joely = Angelina Jolie
Holy Moley became Joley Moley to say "holy moley - angelina jolie"

I dunno... my brain is warped I guess.

Fair enough, Even though I can't stand her :p
My brain is like that too, there's a number of members I thought were female until they posted a picture and I'd be like oh...

Immortalis08
08-03-09, 22:29
Android Male.

I'd much rather be asked.

spikejones
08-03-09, 22:35
it looks that this poll is telling me more about the demographics of TRF more than anything. :vlol:

its either telling me:
A) there are more active male members of TRF than there are female
B) more men are willing to share their views on this subject than women are

but.. its not been very long, so we must wait it seems.
current data has 18 males versus 6 females (1 of which is my mother)

EmeraldFields
08-03-09, 22:35
Male

Rather be asked.

digitizedboy
08-03-09, 22:41
placeholder... please wait while current results are tallied and graphed
http://i383.photobucket.com/albums/oo279/stryderjones/trf/datingpsyche.jpg

results still a bit skewed in the M:F ratio - I'd like a better balance between males and females in order to draw some conclusions.

well that's normal I think. What females ever ask a guy out anyway? Show me evidence!

Voni
08-03-09, 22:47
One: Female
Two: Not really bothered. I asked my current bloke out, but I'm not averse to being asked out either. (But not now, obviously!!)

da tomb raider!
08-03-09, 22:52
1. Male
2. I would rather be asked out.

I can't stand rejection, so I never ask anyone to do anything.

Quasimodo
08-03-09, 22:54
Reading through this thread, I suppose I'll have to be the one doing the asking if I want to find that significant other :p I was always under the impression that men would rather be the ones doing the asking.

1. Female
2. not bothered either way, but it's flattering to be asked.

violentblossom
08-03-09, 23:07
well that's normal I think. What females ever ask a guy out anyway? Show me evidence!

i did it. :wve: now we've been together going on 3 years.

Punaxe
08-03-09, 23:11
Male, and I guess I'd prefer being the one doing the asking because then... Well... It was me taking the first, possibly later very important step :p I'd rather not be the passive guy having things come to him.

spikejones
08-03-09, 23:15
Male

Rather be asked.
:yik: yet another one I thought was a female - I swear, if its not the name its the avatars that do it to me. :hea:
One: Female
Two: Not really bothered. I asked my current bloke out, but I'm not averse to being asked out either. (But not now, obviously!!)
I appreciate your voice first of all. However, I can't honestly use your data since you didnt tell me about what you prefer. Its kind of obscure whether you prefer one or the other. Its okay if you want to say what you did, I just I can't use what you did to enter data about what you prefer ;)
Reading through this thread, I suppose I'll have to be the one doing the asking if I want to find that significant other :p I was always under the impression that men would rather be the ones doing the asking.
did you want to provide an answer as to which you prefer?
i did it. :wve: now we've been together going on 3 years.
Not to question the validity of you having asked him out or not, but did he ever ask you out first?

Feather Duster
09-03-09, 00:02
Female
Be asked out- But once I did ask a boy out (I was 12 :vlol: It was a fad!) He said no, so I hid in the bathroom where my friend kept trying to pull me out. :vlol:

EmeraldFields
09-03-09, 00:04
:yik: yet another one I thought was a female - I swear, if its not the name its the avatars that do it to me. :hea:


LOL! No harm done!:D

silver_wolf
09-03-09, 00:11
you're not? argh...I think it is the avatars:o

EmeraldFields
09-03-09, 00:12
I'm sorry to disappoint all of you!:p I should put my gender under my avatar perhaps.

silver_wolf
09-03-09, 00:13
lol no disappointment, just confusion and temporary awkwardness.

Nausinous
09-03-09, 00:16
Male, I'd rather be asked out but to be honest I'd ask guys out if it wasn't there risk of them being straight :vlol:

spikejones
09-03-09, 00:21
Reading through this thread, I suppose I'll have to be the one doing the asking if I want to find that significant other :p I was always under the impression that men would rather be the ones doing the asking.

1. Female
2. not bothered either way, but it's flattering to be asked.
so does that mean you find it more enjoyable to be the one who gets asked out?

or does that mean you are flattered I asked your opinion?
grrr... people that don't provide a straight answer!! :hea:
I still like you though.
Female
Be asked out- But once I did ask a boy out (I was 12 :vlol: It was a fad!) He said no, so I hid in the bathroom where my friend kept trying to pull me out. :vlol:
I asked a girl to dance once and she said "no you're too short and ugly" - that killed me. :(

da tomb raider!
09-03-09, 00:28
I asked a girl to dance once and she said "no you're too short and ugly" - that killed me. :(

That's why I don't ask people out.

erosan
09-03-09, 00:36
female, and id rather be asked out by the GUY, but for a girl, i'd be the one asking her out.

spikejones
09-03-09, 00:38
female, and id rather be asked out by the GUY, but for a girl, i'd be the one asking her out.
hmm.. I only want to count each person once for this - you don't count as two people. that said, which is most preferable in the grand scheme of things?

TRhalloween
09-03-09, 00:45
I asked a girl to dance once and she said "no you're too short and ugly" - that killed me. :(

Wow.

I guess you're not that big a fan of straight forward answers.

EmeraldFields
09-03-09, 00:57
Wow.

I guess you're not that big a fan of straight forward answers.

There is a difference between being straight forward and rude.;)

That was rude for her to say that.

rowanlim
09-03-09, 14:31
I'm female (23 in September) & either way works, I've done both before, rejection hasn't been a big issue for me, I don't see the point in waiting for the other side to give in. If I want him, I'll get him ;)

It's worked before :p

Nefertiti_89
09-03-09, 14:43
I'm a girl, and yeah I prefer to be asked, but like, I'm not opposed to doing the asking either, I just need to make sure the odds of a positive outcome are pretty high, not because I'm afraid of rejection really, just because I really hate losing, and most of the time my friends have made some kind of bet with me that I wont do it, or it wont happen lol!

But often when I do get a guy I'm a bit like the cat that finally caught the mouse and didnt really know what to do with him! I'm in it for the chase and when its over its like...well wtf do I do now?

Alex Fly
09-03-09, 14:44
Female.
Being asked is always flattering but I prefer doing the first step. :)

I asked a girl to dance once and she said "no you're too short and ugly" - that killed me. :(
Then she must be blind. ;)

john_york
09-03-09, 14:48
1. Male
2. Not fussed either way :wve:

rowanlim
09-03-09, 14:55
I'm a girl, and yeah I prefer to be asked, but like, I'm not opposed to doing the asking either, I just need to make sure the odds of a positive outcome are pretty high, not because I'm afraid of rejection really, just because I really hate losing, and most of the time my friends have made some kind of bet with me that I wont do it, or it wont happen lol!

But often when I do get a guy I'm a bit like the cat that finally caught the mouse and didnt really know what to do with him! I'm in it for the chase and when its over its like...well wtf do I do now?

You sound just like me :p We can't fight the scientist within us! :D

I asked a girl to dance once and she said "no you're too short and ugly" - that killed me. :(

Girls like that aren't worth asking out ;)

ShadyCroft
09-03-09, 15:00
I asked a girl to dance once and she said "no you're too short and ugly" - that killed me. :(

:eek: Was she fricking serious ?! I saw your pics and if I were a girl or you were into guys, I wouldn't turn you down, not even for a second.

Don't feel bad or killed. You're not ugly, you're not even close (what's ugly anyway ?). I guess she was high or something.

Nefertiti_89
09-03-09, 15:00
You sound just like me :p We can't fight the scientist within us! :D


Lol exactly! :D

Laralissa
09-03-09, 15:20
Im female, and Id rather be asked out.

Total fear of rejection :p

jjbennett
09-03-09, 15:25
I don't usally come across many women who i really do fancy and so if i asked them out and they said no it'd be a big big letdown.

I'd prefer to be asked out BUT i'd do it if i had too.

violentblossom
09-03-09, 15:44
Not to question the validity of you having asked him out or not, but did he ever ask you out first?


No, lol, it was very sudden, haha. I knew him for all of 4 days (maybe) before we became a couple. :jmp:

spikejones
09-03-09, 16:02
I'm female (23 in September) & either way works, I've done both before, rejection hasn't been a big issue for me, I don't see the point in waiting for the other side to give in. If I want him, I'll get him ;)

It's worked before :p
but which is your preferable course of action (or non action)? can you answer the questions before substantiating the reasons? Its confusing to me.
Female.
Being asked is always flattering but I prefer doing the first step. :)


Then she must be blind. ;)
whelp... for all of those of you who insist.
this was about 14 years ago when this happened. children are cruel.... very cruel.
I don't usally come across many women who i really do fancy and so if i asked them out and they said no it'd be a big big letdown.

I'd prefer to be asked out BUT i'd do it if i had too.
what are you? male/female?

rowanlim
09-03-09, 16:06
but which is your preferable course of action (or non action)? can you answer the questions before substantiating the reasons? Its confusing to me.

Good question: Letting the guy ask 1st would be easier for me, no doubt, but if I set my mind to ask him out, then I'll have to research on him first & that'll help me evaluate if I really want to go ahead with this guy or not. Perhaps basing on practicality, letting the guy ask me would be preferable.

Alex Fly
09-03-09, 16:06
this was about 14 years ago when this happened. children are cruel.... very cruel.
Ah but you haven't told us this. That doesn't count then ! :ohn:

jjbennett
09-03-09, 16:12
....
what are you? male/female?

Ah yes, should have made that clear, whoops.

I'm Klingon....erm, wait...male.

Shauni
09-03-09, 16:12
I'm female, and I'd rather be the one to ask someone out. I'm very picky and it seems like the only guys who asked me out were ones I had no interest in. (I only wanted to date someone who had the same religion, same interests, was kind, and wasn't a pervert. Hard to find. lol). Only once have I gone out with someone who asked me first (and I married him so obviously it worked out lol). Before that I always did the asking, but that's just me. ;)

spikejones
09-03-09, 16:18
Good question: Letting the guy ask 1st would be easier for me, no doubt, but if I set my mind to ask him out, then I'll have to research on him first & that'll help me evaluate if I really want to go ahead with this guy or not. Perhaps basing on practicality, letting the guy ask me would be preferable.
thank you... you seem to be a stalker :yik:
:vlol:

me too:p
Ah but you haven't told us this. That doesn't count then ! :ohn:
hey... it was a valid emotion.:hea:

new image coming soon:
http://i383.photobucket.com/albums/oo279/stryderjones/datingpsyche2.jpg
so... roughly 15% of surveyed females prefer to be the asker, and roughly 30% of males prefer to be the asker.
I was wondering if there would be any females that preferred to do the asking.

rowanlim
09-03-09, 16:33
thank you... you seem to be a stalker :yik:
:vlol:

me too:p

new image coming soon:
http://i383.photobucket.com/albums/oo279/stryderjones/datingpsyche2.jpg
so... roughly 15% of surveyed females prefer to be the asker, and roughly 30% of males prefer to be the asker.
I was wondering if there would be any females that preferred to do the asking.

If I wasn't so hung up over ego, I'd LOVE to do the asking. Yeah I stalk :p

Punaxe
09-03-09, 16:48
This may be a slightly more easy-to-interpret graph:

http://files.noctifer.net/trf/datepreferences.jpg

Interesting follow-up questionnaires may be to ask
- How it actually went on previous dates
- If they think it should happen one way or the other (as I thought was your original question)

spikejones
09-03-09, 16:53
^ hindsight being 20/20 I should have rather asked... why it was that a particular person felt one way or the other and add that part to a stacked bar graph to say "x amount of people think this way because this" and so on.

Punaxe
09-03-09, 17:05
Can still do that :p However you never know if enough people will respond with the same reasons (unless many already did in this thread - I've not read it all). Age and experience may also be important variables here...

spikejones
09-03-09, 17:15
true to that..
it may be that the majority youth mindset is to wait for things to come to you - whereas with the majority of adults, it may be to go out and get that which you desire.

I'm still looking at a theory that kinda relates job searching and companion searching, and looking at the preliminary results of the getting employed thread... my theory seems to hold water, with only just a couple oddities in the form of you and irjudd. your reasons are not quite what I had in mind but perhaps the better question would have been:

imagine a stack of money in front of you, would you A) go get the money, B) wait for the money to come to you. what do you think is going to be the overwhelming response to that? Matter of fact... I'm gonna change that question right now.

Punaxe
09-03-09, 17:46
You seem to be onto the topic of active/passive personalities. I would be very surprised if that's not been thoroughly researched before :p Let me go have a look, though my university probably hasn't got a lot of access to publications in this field...

spikejones
09-03-09, 22:22
no... different subject actually. I'll let you know what I'm on about if this all pans out.

patriots88888
09-03-09, 23:44
The song "Ain't Wastin' Time No More" by the Allman Brothers sums it all up for me!
When you get to be my age, you don't wait, you act and take life by the horns!

Indiana Croft
10-03-09, 01:39
i'm male, and i'd like to get to a place where i can ask them out, but right now i'd perfer to be asked out cause people play too many games these days to know if the signs are clear, rendering my confidence in my chances slim

oocladableeblah
10-03-09, 01:43
Male
I would rather be asked.

Carbonek_0051
10-03-09, 01:46
1. Male

2. I don't mind either tbh, I like asking guys out but I am too chicken to do it at times. I also like being asked out, it's cute to see guys be so shy about it.:p

Immortalis08
10-03-09, 02:02
1. Male

2. I don't mind either tbh, I like asking guys out but I am too chicken to do it at times. I also like being asked out, it's cute to see guys be so shy about it.:p

Upon closer analysis, why did that sound so narcissistic? :)

Carbonek_0051
10-03-09, 02:04
Upon closer analysis, why did that sound so narcissistic? :)

How did it sound narcissistic?:p

spikejones
10-03-09, 02:09
thanks you all for your responses.. I would like to ask that any of you who have responded in this thread to also respond in the other thread about "getting employed" the question is a bit vague apparently if you look to deep into it, but if you don't look to deep into it and just think about it this way:

"if the opportunity to get money without impeding anyone else presents itself, will you take initiative to get the money, or will you wait for other circumstances in which money to comes to you?"

link to thread:
http://www.tombraiderforums.com/showthread.php?t=148115

its part of a theory im working on - you guys are the guinea pigs :mis:
don't worry... I'll give you a chance to discuss the final matter when I'm done with it. But bear in mind that the more who respond here, the more I need to respond there in order to have balance between data sets. thanks :hug:

ajrich17901
10-03-09, 02:29
1. Are you male or female?
Male

2. Would you rather do the asking, or be asked out?
Rather be asked out

erosan
10-03-09, 04:39
hmm.. I only want to count each person once for this - you don't count as two people. that said, which is most preferable in the grand scheme of things?

I guess ultimately i would like to be asked out, but in a realface to face situation it all depends on the gender.

Melonie Tomb Raider
10-03-09, 04:42
1. Female

2. Would rather be asked out. Why? Because I wouldn't want to be the man of the relationship, I'm already a strong woman myself, the last type of guy I need is a wuss. If a guy doesn't have the gutts to man up and ask me out, I'd rather not be with him. Maybe it's just me, but I like 'em manly and strong. :D

AmericanAssassin
10-03-09, 04:43
I'm male and I would rather be asked out, however, that's not ordinarily the way it works in the small conservative community that I reside in. :(

tranniversary119
10-03-09, 04:44
Male,
Would rather ask out someone. Why? Because when people ask me out I usually don't like them :wve:

Shark_Blade
10-03-09, 05:30
Male.

I rather ask the girl out so I can decide where to go from there. :D Dinner, movies, up for a walk..

If I'm being asked then that's fine as well.

Ikas90
10-03-09, 11:59
Male, and I would rather be asked out.

Personally, if a girl doesn't put the effort in, she's not worth my time. I'm very hard to get now.

Nenya awakens
10-03-09, 12:05
I'd perfere to me asked out.

Im a guy

TR love
10-03-09, 12:10
Female. and i would prefer being asked out. in fact, im terrified of rejection!

i guess the odds get lower becasue the other person probably feels the same!

Another Lara
10-03-09, 12:19
I'm a girl and I prefer to be asked out...

As Mel said, I prefer NOT to be the man in the relationship!

spikejones
10-03-09, 14:21
1. Female

2. Would rather be asked out. Why? Because I wouldn't want to be the man of the relationship, I'm already a strong woman myself, the last type of guy I need is a wuss. If a guy doesn't have the gutts to man up and ask me out, I'd rather not be with him. Maybe it's just me, but I like 'em manly and strong. :D
sorry... I guess you think I'm a wuss then (but I'm not) - take a look at the overwhelming majority of guys who hold the same preference as I. We're not all wusses. Anyhow.. I believe that what you are really saying here is that you want a guy with confidence. Right?

Marianna12
10-03-09, 14:23
Female
Rather be asked out

Angelus
10-03-09, 14:23
1. Male.

2. I'd rather ask them out.

violentblossom
10-03-09, 14:25
1. Female

2. Would rather be asked out. Why? Because I wouldn't want to be the man of the relationship, I'm already a strong woman myself, the last type of guy I need is a wuss. If a guy doesn't have the gutts to man up and ask me out, I'd rather not be with him. Maybe it's just me, but I like 'em manly and strong. :D

I asked my fiancee this question last night, and he said that he'd rather be asked out. When i asked why, he said that the reason is that its really attractive for the female to take initiative.. he like when women are comfortable enough to take that first step, because its a sign of strength and confidence.

So maybe its not that the guy is a wuss, maybe he just wants a challenge.. someone who will always suprise him.

spikejones
10-03-09, 14:31
^yep.. thats like what I derived from Mel's statement, but in reverse. could it be that we are all looking for someone with confidence?

Punaxe
10-03-09, 14:34
I don't think anyone would say "I want someone who isn't confident"...

violentblossom
10-03-09, 14:36
I don't think anyone would say "I want someone who isn't confident"...

some might. the abusive kind who basically want a puppy dog and not a partner.

Archetype
10-03-09, 14:37
Gender: Male

Would rather be asked out purely on the basis of never knowing if a woman likes me or not.

Couldn't care less about masculinity though, whole things bull ****.

spikejones
10-03-09, 14:38
^true... but you look at it like this - the female who only wants the "confident type" will tend to overlook the shy nice guys who respect them because they aren't outgoing with their desires. then they end up in a bad relationship with that guy who beats them.

Archetype
10-03-09, 14:40
^true... but you look at it like this - the female who only wants the "confident type" will tend to overlook the shy nice guys who respect them because they aren't outgoing with their desires. then they end up in a bad relationship with that guy who beats them.

Mmmmmmm well tbh, wouldn't they want a person who's going to be there at the end of the day, rather than someone who bails at the first sign of trouble?

Kamrusepas
10-03-09, 14:41
01. Female
02. Would like to be asked out, but as it often happens, I have to be the one to take the first step (damn Finns, so shy :p). Like with my current relationship, I first came clean about my feelings for him and now we're happier than ever :)

Punaxe
10-03-09, 14:41
^true... but you look at it like this - the female who only wants the "confident type" will tend to overlook the shy nice guys who respect them because they aren't outgoing with their desires. then they end up in a bad relationship with that guy who beats them.

I think this actually not uncommon, no... I hear a lot of complaining of shy nice guys about extrovert dickheads. But the girls may still like those dickheads, even if others would consider it a "bad relationship".

spikejones
10-03-09, 14:43
who doesn't?

but they don't know what the person will be like until they get into that relationship. I'm a shy and generally nice person who would be there when they need me, but they don't know that unless they get to know me. and they generally will not bother to get to know me (as has been my experience) because I do go around saying a lot of the things that I see other guys saying to girls. I choose not to take the approach of other men because I think it is demeaning to look at a woman as a simple piece of meat - but many women just go gaga over it for some reason. Then there's the concept of complimenting her eyes or her hair - I find this to be somewhat cheesy. I'm more interested in the person's personality to be honest.

violentblossom
10-03-09, 14:47
I think this actually not uncommon, no... I hear a lot of complaining of shy nice guys about extrovert dickheads. But the girls may still like those dickheads, even if others would consider it a "bad relationship".

alot of women are drawn to men that treat women like dirt, i don't know why.

maybe its because women are looking for a chase.. someone they can go after and feel like they've earned his affections. i guess women want a challenge, too.. some nice guys just make themselves too available too soon and there's no mystery.

Andyroo
10-03-09, 14:47
Male, I would probably prefer to be the one asking someone, but i'd still be just as happy if someone asked me.

Andy.

Larapink
11-03-09, 22:06
1. Female.
2. I don't mind, but I get shy. :o lol

kthnxbai
11-03-09, 22:51
Female

I'd much rather be asked out..... I'm very traditional and I find that guys can either be really mean when rejecting a girl or else they'll just go along with it even if they don't really like you...

Maybe girls can be the same too but I really wouldn't have any experience there......

It's nice to think someone likes you

Twilight
11-03-09, 22:57
i'm female.
it doesn't matter if i ask or if he asks, same thing.

kthnxbai
11-03-09, 23:07
Was reading a few of the older posts there.....

Just to give my opinion, I'd much rather a shy guy to an arrogant, over-confident whatever way you wanna put it one....

I actually like shy guys... I find them much more endearing and I always feel safer around them...... The only problem with them is that they can be too shy sometimes....

I would never like to be mistreated or disrespected by a man, and I think it's terrible that women let themselves be treated as such and worse that some men actually do it



And as much as I would rather be asked out... I always end up doing the asking anyway....

Larapink
11-03-09, 23:45
Was reading a few of the older posts there.....

Just to give my opinion, I'd much rather a shy guy to an arrogant, over-confident whatever way you wanna put it one....

I actually like shy guys... I find them much more endearing and I always feel safer around them...... The only problem with them is that they can be too shy sometimes....

I would never like to be mistreated or disrespected by a man, and I think it's terrible that women let themselves be treated as such and worse that some men actually do it

And as much as I would rather be asked out... I always end up doing the asking anyway....
I agree with you.:tmb:

Encore
12-03-09, 00:40
1. Female
2. I would rather be asked out

My opinion isn't really about who "should" do the asking though. Everyone, male or female, can take that step if they feel inclined. It's just that personally, I am too much of a **** up to do it properly. The last time I asked a guy out I was like 19 years old and it was one of the most ridiculous episodes of my life. I promised myself I would never do the same thing again, EVER. Besides, being now 24 and not having had any relationship whatsoever, I pretty much gave up on the whole thing. So not only do I chronically suck at aproaching guys, I eventually just stopped caring, and I certainly don't care enough to go to the trouble of acting like a fool just for a chance... Meh... I wasn't destined to love anyone I supose.

Agent 47
12-03-09, 00:44
1. Female
2. I would rather be asked out

My opinion isn't really about who "should" do the asking though. Everyone, male or female, can take that step if they feel inclined. It's just that personally, I am too much of a **** up to do it properly. The last time I asked a guy out I was like 19 years old and it was one of the most ridiculous episodes of my life. I promised myself I would never do the same thing again, EVER. Besides, being now 24 and not having had any relationship whatsoever, I pretty much gave up on the whole thing. So not only do I chronically suck at aproaching guys, I eventually just stopped caring, and I certainly don't care enough to go to the trouble of acting like a fool just for a chance... Meh... I wasn't destined to love anyone I supose.

that sounds awfully familiar :pi: if at first you don't succeed, meh! is my view :vlol:

Nerd For Life
12-03-09, 01:19
My opinion isn't really about who "should" do the asking though. Everyone, male or female, can take that step if they feel inclined. It's just that personally, I am too much of a **** up to do it properly.

I agree with this.

I'm extremely shy, and I tend to eff everything up in this kind of situations.

But then, I'm nearly 20 and not once I have been 'asked'... things just happened naturally. No one was actually interested enough to ask me out, I guess, lol. I should be used to it by now.

Andariel
12-03-09, 02:00
1. female
2. neither

spikejones
12-03-09, 02:21
Hey... just thought I'd jump in here and say that we don't necessarily need to stick to only answering the OP question anymore - I've stopped tallying the responses now since I made my other thread. But feel free to discuss the topic as related to the thread title ;)

aileenwuornos
13-03-09, 03:22
The genitalia in between my legs indicates I'm female, but for all intensive purposes I don't consider myself male or female. I call myself a human being.

And my preferences don't go either way. I'd rather do something myself because I hate waiting for other people.