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spikejones
10-03-09, 23:13
I think everyone knows what I'm talking about. Those people we generally call "bums". The ones that ask you for some money while you're out at the store, or walking around downtown in the city.

What are your thoughts about them?
Do you give them any money?

Lavinder
10-03-09, 23:14
I can't afford to give them money, I should be one myself :p.

irjudd
10-03-09, 23:15
I've never met one.

Unless of course you consider those bell-ringing jerks that hang out at the Wal-Mart entrance during christmas time "beggars".

Quasimodo
10-03-09, 23:16
I think everyone knows what I'm talking about. Those people we generally call "bums". The ones that ask you for some money while you're out at the store, or walking around downtown in the city.

What are your thoughts about them?
Do you give them any money?

You have to be careful. Usually asking for a dollar or two is a ploy to get you to take your wallet out to see what you've got - and then steal it from you.

patriots88888
10-03-09, 23:18
They usually just ask me for a cigarrette, which I give to them! Sometimes they may ask for a dollar or some change... and yes I do give it to them, if they ask nice and respectfully! Otherwise, forget it!

Being broke and down on your luck is no excuse for bad manners and showing disrespect! Besides, a smile can go a long way, especially in these current times!

LazyLara90
10-03-09, 23:22
um i love them! especaiccalyy the one in TR AOD!

madderakka
10-03-09, 23:22
I haven't since 2 years ago I emptied my wallet for a man that said he desperately needed gas money in a store parking lot. I guess he didn't realize I worked there because he came back the next weekend with the same story after I watched him purchase a Dyson... and again the next until security realized what was going on.

I do give in other ways. My part of the state has a Christmas wishes program as well as one where anyone can ask for help throughout the year. I give there when I'm able.

Punaxe
10-03-09, 23:24
Sometimes, but usually I ignore them. I probably just go by first impressions on deciding whether or not to give, but I've never really thought about it.

I remember my sister once felt sorry for one, but thought that if she gave money, it would be used for drugs anyway, as is probably very usual. So instead she asked the begger if she wanted anything from the supermarket. She replied that she really liked some cheap strawberry drink they had, so she got it for her. I found that was quite amiable.

Nausinous
10-03-09, 23:25
I usually go and get them a salvation army food package, an outfit from primemark and the address of a homeless shelter rather than give them money when I'm out volunteering.

violentblossom
10-03-09, 23:34
i generally feel for them, though i never give them money (besides the rare instance below.)

once, there was a homeless man who walked into the fast food restaurant where i was working.

he slowly walked up to the cash register, and ordered a very specific meal very deliberately, like he'd been waiting and planning for that moment for a long while. he began rooting around in his coat for his money, a collection of nickels, pennies, and dimes.

he placed it on the counter, and it seemed like he was rather proud of himself, because judging from the looks of everyone around him, nobody thought he'd be able to pay.

my coworker bluntly informed him that he was 25 cents short, and this man's face melted into despair first, and then defeated sadness. he slowly backed away from the counter.

i could not let that man leave... i rushed to my purse and pulled out $6 to hand to this man. he shook his head. only after i pushed it back towards him twice did he take it, and then he offered me his change. i politely refused.

never before have i seen someone so fully appreciate a meal. he savored every chew, and when he got up to go, he turned to me for a moment, and he smiled at me in such a genuine and gracious way that no one has since.

this little old man melted my heart, and i never did see him again. the next night there was a freeze, and i deeply suspect that he did not survive the night.

that evening that i saw him has been deeply etched into my memory and i'd like to think that i was able to make him feel like a person again, and not some pariah.

Siberian Tiger
10-03-09, 23:40
No, because most of them are drug addicts in my city. It's so obvious. I love it how they seem to think I was born yesterday by saying "I'm stuck here and need money to get home", "change for the bus", "do you have any spare change". You see the group of them huddling together later that day to calculate how much crack they might be able to buy.

It ****es me off when they stand/sit next to ATMs. Oh the cheek!

knightgames
10-03-09, 23:45
I've never met one.

Unless of course you consider those bell-ringing jerks that hang out at the Wal-Mart entrance during christmas time "beggars".


Was that necessary? They're voulenteers for the Salvation Army. The bell ringing may be annoying, but they're probably a better class jerk than you.

Punaxe. I've done the same as your sister. I've gone into restaurants and bought a dinner for some. Most were very happy with it.... with the exception of one guy who couldn't eat the meal because of bad teeth.

Ada the Mental
10-03-09, 23:57
Sometimes I give out some spare change. The thing is that in Athens there's one at every corner, so I usually try to ignore them, especially the ones that are always on the same spot and ask you again and again. I feel bad, you can't give to everyone.

My mother got to know one who used to beg for years near the place she works and she'd always give him money.

spikejones
11-03-09, 00:04
I usually give money to them regardless of what it may be for. I may not have much to give, but I give regardless. I know a lot of them are going to buy beer or drugs with the money, especially if they are the ones standing outside the corner store. But you know something? I've been that person before. I know the pain they feel. I know that alcohol is what helps them sleep at night. It may be easy for some people to say to them "get a job you lazy bum" but its not that easy. Would you give that person a job? Most wont. When was the last time you saw a homeless person get a job? I can't say as I've seen it very often or even at all. For one.. no manager is going to honestly sit there with a guy that smells like garbage and urine to give him an interview. And for two.. the guy has no home and no way of being contacted - the application would be useless. But at any rate..

I take the chance to talk to these people when I meet them. I can put myself on their level and I can relate to them. I know he's gonna get a drink or a drug because that's the same thing I did. But I can let that guy know that it doesn't always have to be that way. Deep down inside themselves, they know they don't want to keep going on like that. But as long as I can plant that seed.. let them know that I've been there and I know what its like - and I can tell them how my life has become better, it gives them a shining ray of hope and maybe a reason to go buy a dinner instead of a beer or a crack rock. I look at them.. and I see what I used to be.

It may not seem logical for me to aid someone in getting drunk, but truth be told - a person won't quit until they've hit their own personal bottom. And these guys are some really low bottom addicts and drunks. Mine wasn't as bad - but it was bad enough. Even if I don't give them the money and take the opportunity to talk to the person, somebody is going to give them money regardless. I'd rather help the person peacefully than to see them start stealing from people.

------------------------
You have to be careful. Usually asking for a dollar or two is a ploy to get you to take your wallet out to see what you've got - and then steal it from you.
huh... has that ever happened to you, or is that an assumption of yours that that is the norm?

@violent: that was a very kind thing to have done. I am sure he was very grateful for that.

rowanlim
11-03-09, 02:55
I don't give money unless I'm in a pitiful mood. I strictly do not give out to monks who beg because they aren't supposed to be begging, some people dress up like monks & play on people's sentiments for money. I also do not give money (usually) to people who aren't handicapped.

@Violentblossom: The scenario you described is somewhat similar to what I went through a few yrs ago. I was McD's & this old man begged me for money, I gave him $5 (coz that was all I've got left) & he ordered food. He was an old man & I felt so sorry for him, I was thinking if he had family who abandoned him or something.

Nefertiti_89
11-03-09, 14:12
I usually give them food. Then I know theyre not wasting it at the casino or something :)

One of the most beautiful moments of my life was when I found a homeless guy digging through a garbage bin and I had a large fries from KFC that I was totally not going to eat, and I tapped him on the shoulder and gave it to him and he looked at me like it was the best day of his life. It was truly beautiful, and all because of a box of fries.

Lara's home
11-03-09, 14:51
I never give them money.
In a country like Norway, no people will have to beg for money, and most likely it's and organisation behind it.
There is thsi woman in my city that begs for money. Apperantly she has a a house not too far from the city, and she appreantly has a washer and dryer plus TV etc.

Nannonxyay
11-03-09, 15:05
violentblosson, that was a beautiful thing that you did. :hug: It shows that you're not narrow minded and judgmental of people just because they're homeless. :)

Encore
11-03-09, 18:46
I also do not give money (usually) to people who aren't handicapped.


To exploit this sentiment, some parents mutilate their kids so that the people in the streets can feel more pity and give them money... In fact there is a whole industry of "professional beggars" out there. Specially in countries with a great gap between rich and poor, or poor countries with a lot of tourism, etc. There simply isn't a way of knowing who is genuinely in need of help and who is just oportunist... Not even the physical disabilities... Just your instinct I supose.

Gabi
11-03-09, 19:10
In fact there is a whole industry of "professional beggars" out there. Specially in countries with a great gap between rich and poor, or poor countries with a lot of tourism, etc. There simply isn't a way of knowing who is genuinely in need of help and who is just oportunist.
Tell me about it.
I will never forget my shock and disbelief when I realised that the "poor" woman with the baby that had been begging at the entrance of a big department store, actually owned a brand new Mercedes, into which she strapped her baby and then drove off.

spikejones
11-03-09, 19:21
^:yik:
thats like praying on people's emotions right there, and the people who do that should be ashamed of themselves. Usually though... the panhandlers I've given money to before are the ones that I've seen time and time again in the bad parts of town. Anyhoo.. today I just saw a police officer telling a highway-exit-ramp panhandler to move along... I saw that same guy at the convenience store a few minutes later. The cashier knew him by name and said "So you went out there and made a killing today - huh Larry?" he replied "Every day!" then he pulled out a pocketful of money he just collected while he was standing on the off ramp. The guy probably makes more money in an hour than I've ever made at any of my jobs.

Biddy
11-03-09, 19:36
i generally feel for them, though i never give them money (besides the rare instance below.)

once, there was a homeless man who walked into the fast food restaurant where i was working.

he slowly walked up to the cash register, and ordered a very specific meal very deliberately, like he'd been waiting and planning for that moment for a long while. he began rooting around in his coat for his money, a collection of nickels, pennies, and dimes.

he placed it on the counter, and it seemed like he was rather proud of himself, because judging from the looks of everyone around him, nobody thought he'd be able to pay.

my coworker bluntly informed him that he was 25 cents short, and this man's face melted into despair first, and then defeated sadness. he slowly backed away from the counter.

i could not let that man leave... i rushed to my purse and pulled out $6 to hand to this man. he shook his head. only after i pushed it back towards him twice did he take it, and then he offered me his change. i politely refused.

never before have i seen someone so fully appreciate a meal. he savored every chew, and when he got up to go, he turned to me for a moment, and he smiled at me in such a genuine and gracious way that no one has since.

this little old man melted my heart, and i never did see him again. the next night there was a freeze, and i deeply suspect that he did not survive the night.

that evening that i saw him has been deeply etched into my memory and i'd like to think that i was able to make him feel like a person again, and not some pariah.

this story touched my heart, it make me think of how sometimes as people we don't realize how lucky we are to not be living in such conditions.

tomblover
11-03-09, 19:38
I've met beggars perhaps once or twice. Mostly it's just people hanging around the subway playing an instrument rather nicely. :p

I have never given any money, though. :wve:

violentblossom
11-03-09, 20:33
this story touched my heart, it make me think of how sometimes as people we don't realize how lucky we are to not be living in such conditions.

i feel like he taught me how to not take my advantages for granted.

i feel guilty that i didn't walk up to him and give him a hug, because my brain doesn't like to forget how cold it got later on. i just hope he's okay, where ever he is.

Lee croft
11-03-09, 20:40
oh my days i saw one sleeping on the floor there so silly they should go for an interview for a job in mc donalds all you need is a smile to get the job!!!

violentblossom
11-03-09, 20:42
oh my days i saw one sleeping on the floor there so silly they should go for an interview for a job in mc donalds all you need is a smile to get the job!!!

actually, you also need an address. something homeless people obviously do not have.

how can you hope to make it through an interview successfully when you cannot bathe and are worried about your hygeine? what nice clothing would they wear? how would they brush their teeth? how would they explain the gap in years from job to job?

sometimes its not always so easy.

LonelyLara
11-03-09, 20:42
i like to seal their food

viper456
11-03-09, 20:44
oh my days i saw one sleeping on the floor there so silly they should go for an interview for a job in mc donalds all you need is a smile to get the job!!!

lmfao my friend didn't even get a call back for an interview there. :vlol:

Greenkey2
11-03-09, 21:03
That was a very humane thing you did violentblossom. It's not always easy to see past the surface, especially in such a vulnerable and potentially dangerous situation as begging.

I don't give money to beggers on the street (fortunately there are few in the towns and cities around here). But I do support community projects for such people, and perhaps when I'm stronger I will do some voluntary work in shelters.

@ Gabi: that's why I'd rather support the infrastructure that helps homeless people in general, than try and make judgements on individuals there and then - "is this person genuinely in need of help, or are they playacting?"

IceColdLaraCroft
11-03-09, 21:06
I think everyone knows what I'm talking about. Those people we generally call "bums". The ones that ask you for some money while you're out at the store, or walking around downtown in the city.

What are your thoughts about them?
Do you give them any money?

No. Times are tough for everyone.

You never know what they spend the money on. Food? Drugs? Alcohol?
If I give my money to ONE panhandler than i'd have to give it to every panhandler I come across and I don't have that much money, so no one gets anything.

I don't carry cash. I use my debit card so that when I buy something only what I spend is deducted from my account. Most ATMs only let you take out multiples of $20. If you're trying to save money it's better to NOT have cash.

Joely-Moley
11-03-09, 21:34
I give them money, not a lot I can't afford it but I have been homeless before (not for long) and had people snub their noses at me and generally look down as if they are better.

If there's one outside a fast food place like McDonald's I might just in and buy there a value meal and a coffee. Even though it may not be the best of food it's still a good meal.

I know a lot of people say bah, I'm not giving them my 2quid it will go to drugs and booze, well call me naive but I'd rather be out of pocket and think my money went to some good, that they were able to get a meal, or a warm drink.

da tomb raider!
11-03-09, 21:52
I usually give a couple of dollars to any beggars I encounter. There's a chance that they don't actually need it (i.e. professional beggars), or that they'll just spend it on drugs or alcohol or just gamble it away, but then there's also a chance that they'll put it to good use, plus it's never a great deal of money so it doesn't really matter to me what they do with it.

oh my days i saw one sleeping on the floor there so silly they should go for an interview for a job in mc donalds all you need is a smile to get the job!!!

:vlol: If only it was that easy. :vlol:

violentblossom
11-03-09, 21:54
I usually give a couple of dollars to any beggars I encounter. There's a chance that they don't actually need it (i.e. professional beggars), or that they'll just spend it on drugs or alcohol or just gamble it away, but then there's also a chance that they'll put it to good use, plus it's never a great deal of money so it doesn't really matter to me what they do with it.



i feel, too, like some of these professionals might one day wake up, and think, "Wow. All the people i've swindled over the years... what have i become?" and then maybe it'll affect them and want them to help people who actually are in need.

spikejones
12-03-09, 00:59
oh my days i saw one sleeping on the floor there so silly they should go for an interview for a job in mc donalds all you need is a smile to get the job!!!
apparently you didn't read my post that addressed that issue already. shame on you.
No. Times are tough for everyone.

You never know what they spend the money on. Food? Drugs? Alcohol?
If I give my money to ONE panhandler than i'd have to give it to every panhandler I come across and I don't have that much money, so no one gets anything.

I don't carry cash. I use my debit card so that when I buy something only what I spend is deducted from my account. Most ATMs only let you take out multiples of $20. If you're trying to save money it's better to NOT have cash.
your name suits well. - but if you'd been on the other side of that situations like me and Joley Moley have, you'd feel a lot different about the situation.

Lara Croft!
12-03-09, 01:01
What is it with you and new topics Spike?:D

About bums, I sometimes give them a few spare change.

spikejones
12-03-09, 01:07
seems things were a bit stagnant - had to stir the pot up a bit ;)

AmericanAssassin
12-03-09, 01:09
I used to give them money, until a visit to Chicago recently. I gave a man money to buy "food" and saw him pass me later with chewing tobacco. :rolleyes:

Nenya awakens
12-03-09, 01:12
i generally feel for them, though i never give them money (besides the rare instance below.)

once, there was a homeless man who walked into the fast food restaurant where i was working.

he slowly walked up to the cash register, and ordered a very specific meal very deliberately, like he'd been waiting and planning for that moment for a long while. he began rooting around in his coat for his money, a collection of nickels, pennies, and dimes.

he placed it on the counter, and it seemed like he was rather proud of himself, because judging from the looks of everyone around him, nobody thought he'd be able to pay.

my coworker bluntly informed him that he was 25 cents short, and this man's face melted into despair first, and then defeated sadness. he slowly backed away from the counter.

i could not let that man leave... i rushed to my purse and pulled out $6 to hand to this man. he shook his head. only after i pushed it back towards him twice did he take it, and then he offered me his change. i politely refused.

never before have i seen someone so fully appreciate a meal. he savored every chew, and when he got up to go, he turned to me for a moment, and he smiled at me in such a genuine and gracious way that no one has since.

this little old man melted my heart, and i never did see him again. the next night there was a freeze, and i deeply suspect that he did not survive the night.

that evening that i saw him has been deeply etched into my memory and i'd like to think that i was able to make him feel like a person again, and not some pariah.


Thats a beautifull story and it's not often that a person would do that,
i have to admit that living in london i have come accustomed to the word NO, and i have so many people hassling me for money on a daily basis that i forget that there are people out there that do really just want a meal to fill there belly and keep them warm.. as opposed to scoring some drugs and getting high!

Draco
12-03-09, 04:36
On rare occasions I'll give them money, but my job is to kick them out where I work.

Lara Croft!
12-03-09, 13:00
^^^ You suddenly started resembling your avatar... LOL!!!:D

Andyroo
12-03-09, 15:57
Well said spikejones on that big post one page 1, well said indeed.

I used to know a guy who was in the army, until he was seriously injured and was discharged, he then couldn't get a job because of his injuries, lost his house and he ended up living in his car on the street, but he never once asked me for money, he just wanted to chat, one of the nicest people I have ever met in my life, and nobody would give him the time of day because he just 'a worthless bum who should get a job' as some would say.

People should realize that homeless people don't want to be in that situation, and its not a matter of just getting a job!

Any of you could end up in the same position.

Andy.

touchthesky
12-03-09, 16:03
I had the most urgh experience the other week, actually.

A woman, clearly junked off her face..stank of alcohol..also, heavily pregnant *real pregnant, not drug fuelled fake jumper up the shirt kinda pregnant*...came up to me in KFC and said she was 1 short of the meal she wanted..I was just..so appauled at her state and the fact that she had a baby in there..so shocked, that I gave her the money! I am such an idiot..I thought, if there was even a glimmer of hope..a touch of hope..that she'd actually buy food...it was worth it. But no..she left. Of course she left.

I actually hate myself for being such an idiot. All I did was help her feed her addiction more and help her ruin her baby more.

violentblossom
12-03-09, 16:06
I had the most urgh experience the other week, actually.

A woman, clearly junked off her face..stank of alcohol..also, heavily pregnant *real pregnant, not drug fuelled fake jumper up the shirt kinda pregnant*...came up to me in KFC and said she was 1 short of the meal she wanted..I was just..so appauled at her state and the fact that she had a baby in there..so shocked, that I gave her the money! I am such an idiot..I thought, if there was even a glimmer of hope..a touch of hope..that she'd actually buy food...it was worth it. But no..she left. Of course she left.

I actually hate myself for being such an idiot. All I did was help her feed her addiction more and help her ruin her baby more.

don't blame yourself, Vicky. there's nothign wrong with having faith in humanity.

someone should call the police on that woman.

SoulReaver74
12-03-09, 16:08
There was this homeless guy i used to see everyday and any spare change i had i always would give it to him, hopefully he's now got him self back on his feet and living he's life.

spikejones
12-03-09, 17:15
^well unfortunately its not so simple always. generally if a person becomes homeless it becomes a permanent situation. sure there are shelters and soup kitchens, but its not a place where you can just hang out all day - they make you leave in the morning. Homeless folks hang out outside shelters and soup kitchens all day long waiting to be let in - in the mean time they ask for change of passersby so that they can have some sort of feeling of being normal. Many people just walk right on by. Some will give some spare change, some may give 5 dollars if they are in a good mood, some will buy them food, maybe clothes - but how many people actually give them a place to stay? Some of them have their pride about them and won't accept the offer, but would rather to get things of their own accord. I know this for a fact, I've offered a young homeless guy the ability to stay in "my" apartment. He actually refused the offer saying he preferred to live in the tent he set up in the woods - with a few other guys. He was always grateful for my company though and the leftover prime rib I would bring home from work every night (it was gonna get thrown out anyhow) There are others though that would be very grateful for that offer, and need to have an address and a place to be contacted at in order to get a job.

violentblossom
12-03-09, 17:25
Spikejones, you are one of the most intelligent, compassionate, and eloquent individuals i have ever had the pleasure of speaking to. Your posts are deeply touching and compelling to read.

This world is fortunate to have you, and i only wish that there were more around like you. Its going to take alot of people like yourself to change the world, as hard a task as that might be. I don't really know you that personally, but you give me hope for a better tommorrow.