PDA

View Full Version : Would you sacrifice your friendship in order to protect them?


2kool4u
02-06-09, 03:55
Lets say your best friend was talking with someone who you knew would hurt them but, their ignorance refused to believe you. Would you put up the line and say believe me or i will leave in order to make sure they wouldnt get harmed by the person? Basically im asking what would you sacrifice to protect your best friend.

lacryjr
02-06-09, 04:05
All I can say, all depends of the situation, of what you would sacrifice, everyone has a limit.

spikejones
02-06-09, 04:20
your scenario sounds illogical at best. how could your cutting off the friendship be protecting them? the relationship they have with the other person will still continue whether you are present or not. what it sounds like you are talking about is an "ultimatum" whereby you are saying "one of us has to go". but that does nothing to protect your friend.

Atlantisfreak666
02-06-09, 04:21
Meh, no.

Draco
02-06-09, 04:23
Make the choice that leaves you with the least guilt or regret.

Ikas90
02-06-09, 04:44
If I truly wanted what's best for them, I would attempt to sacrifice my friendship or relationship with them as a tool for motivation.

I've almost done it before, she changed before I had to sacrifice. My ultimatum might have acted as a motivator, but I don't think I could truly bring myself to leaving a friend.

spikejones
02-06-09, 04:59
you know.. I think the only people who can effectively pull off an ultimatum are the spiteful ones. I mean.. if you say "I'll stop being your friend", sure it may hold some water if the person values your friendship - but are you honestly capable of simply cutting them off entirely, just because they are doing something you don't agree with? I don't think so - not if the friendship actually means something to you as well. Hence why I say spiteful people. truth be told.. I don't agree with ultimatums. If you try to make me choose between you and something else, you may end up getting your feelings hurt. Why folks can't just let others make their own choices in life is beyond me.

Ikas90
02-06-09, 05:14
you know.. I think the only people who can effectively pull off an ultimatum are the spiteful ones. I mean.. if you say "I'll stop being your friend", sure it may hold some water if the person values your friendship - but are you honestly capable of simply cutting them off entirely, just because they are doing something you don't agree with? I don't think so - not if the friendship actually means something to you as well. Hence why I say spiteful people. truth be told.. I don't agree with ultimatums. If you try to make me choose between you and something else, you may end up getting your feelings hurt. Why folks can't just let others make their own choices in life is beyond me.

Suppose your closest friend was a drug addict and it was killing them. Would you NOT try to help them? If you have to threaten to sacrifice your relationship with them to get them off drugs, or whatever terrible thing it is, then so be it. It will be much better for them in the future, and they might even consider thanking you and being your friend again.

spikejones
02-06-09, 05:22
I've been in that situation, having been the drug addict himself. no ultimatum would have gotten me clean. a true addict will only quit when they hit their own personal rock bottom. And even though my parents said they would not help me out financially while I was doing drugs and such other illegal activities - they still did. at any rate, being cut off by ones parents is more of a threat than to be cut off by a friend. but whoever you are or whatever your relationship is.. it is not within your ability to get another person sober. sure you can help.. but cutting someone off from monetary support is just a temporary solution. they'll find it elsewhere.

Punaxe
02-06-09, 05:36
As spikejones, I also don't agree with ultimatums. I also don't think I would leave my friends for doing things I don't agree with, especially not when such things leads them into a situation where they'll need even more support from their friends (me).
Leaving them seems to be a selfish, cowardly thing to do and by no means a constructive solution.

Ikas90
02-06-09, 05:41
Leaving a friend because of their situation is a very hard thing to do, and when I said I've almost left a friend, I was pretty far from leaving them. But making the ultimatum sometimes acts as a motivator, even if you are not serious about leaving them. My situation with a friend was different; she wasn't on drugs so I can't compare there.

Punaxe
02-06-09, 05:44
Leaving a friend because of their situation is a very hard thing to do, and when I said I've almost left a friend, I was pretty far from leaving them. But making the ultimatum sometimes acts as a motivator, even if you are not serious about leaving them. My situation with a friend was different; she wasn't on drugs so I can't compare there.

It may be a motivator, but it's not working on the actual problem - it's only suggesting to create a second problem to add to the first.

Ikas90
02-06-09, 05:49
You're right. I don't even think my ultimatum is what brought her out of her problem anyway; it was more-so herself. What I did was an attempt to help her. But like I said, I was pretty far from actually leaving her. I don't think I could actually do that.

I'll edit my first post to make a clearer understanding.

spikejones
02-06-09, 05:54
As spikejones, I also don't agree with ultimatums. I also don't think I would leave my friends for doing things I don't agree with, especially not when such things leads them into a situation where they'll need even more support from their friends (me).
Leaving them seems to be a selfish, cowardly thing to do and by no means a constructive solution.

very well said. these are my thoughts exactly, but I think had I tried to say that, it may have come off sounding a bit... rude.