PDA

View Full Version : Mini competition - Write our 'fictional' Terms and Conditions


tlr online
04-06-09, 17:30
While I spend some time revising our actual Terms and Conditions (http://www.tombraiderforums.com/faq.php?faq=vb_faq), I thought you fine forum folk might like to have a go yourself.

Feel free to let your humerous side let rip and create fictional Terms and Conditions for our forum.

Larapink
04-06-09, 17:32
Sounds Interesting, I'll think about it for a few days. :)

Minty Mouth
04-06-09, 17:34
Oh I can see this going in some interesting directions :cln:

scoopy_loopy
04-06-09, 17:34
The penguin is God. Dont talk to the snake. :tea:

Cochrane
04-06-09, 17:34
Don't be an ass.
If you're not certain whether you're an ass, you probably are. Stop it.

Lee croft
04-06-09, 18:30
12 Rules

1. Dont talk about TRF
2. Dont talk about TRF
3. Dont talk about the fight club (opps)
4. No triple posting
5. Avatars must be a picture of britney spears no offensive ones!!!
6. Every one must obey the kittens :pi:
7. Do not spam in open chat
9. Dont diss britney spears
10. Dont joke about the monstrum
11. Turn a blind eye to the fact i skiped 8
12. All ban's are final bans!!!

hehehe :)

violentblossom
04-06-09, 18:33
*Do not type with more than one hand. Typing with two hands could lead to vast amounts of spam and an obscenely high post count. :D

]{eith
04-06-09, 18:35
"Please do not feed the mods."

scoopy_loopy
04-06-09, 18:42
{eith;3697594']"Please do not feed the mods."

:vlol:

Verdilet
04-06-09, 18:43
Sounds like fun. I'll have to think about this. :mis:

violentblossom
04-06-09, 18:46
{eith;3697594']"Please do not feed the mods."

*Particularly Mr. Burns, because then, he'll never go away.. its his pigeon nature.











(I lava you, Mark.)

Biddy
04-06-09, 19:04
Here goes. :p

Greetings vile forum folk,

1. By joining the community, you shall agree to the following rules of NOT showing kindness towards members, niceness and a promise of mantaining healthy, friendly relationships towards them, we therefore encourage you to treat members here disrespectfully and irresponsibly.

2. Spam is heavily recommended, please do not post any intelligent musings or deep, philosophical pursuits of the kind, such posts will be immediately deleted by the forum leaders. We would much rather prefer spam, as understood from the forum motto; ''Mice, liberty and the pursuit of spammyness.''

Gabi
04-06-09, 19:12
Greetings vile forum folk,

1. By joining the community, you shall agree to the following rules of NOT showing kindness towards members, niceness and a promise of mantaining healthy, friendly relationships towards them, we therefore encourage you to treat members here disrespectfully and irresponsibly.

2. Spam is heavily recommended, please do not post any intelligent musings or deep, philosophical pursuits of the kind, such posts will be immediately deleted by the forum leaders. We would much rather prefer spam, as understood from the forum motto; ''Mice, liberty and the pursuit of spammyness.''

:D

Sometimes it seems that members think they have signed up under exactly these terms. ;)

Tjw croft
04-06-09, 19:36
^^^:vlol: That's a good one!
Here's mine:

Welcome to Tomb Raider Forums,

T&C:
No creative projects for ANY of the games will be talked about.
Junior members may not post ANYTHING.
All moderators are subject to the "Agonizer" (look it up... It's from Star Trek's Mirror universe) If found to be speaking, singing, texting, posting, or PMing ANY AND ALL junior members.


Enjoy :)

How's that?

Dina_Croft
04-06-09, 19:40
1.Thou shall not spam
2.Thou shall not make the mods angry..
3.Thou shall not talk about Britney Spears
4.Thou shall not post pics about Britney Spears
5.Thou shall be an Echelon(sry i couldn't resist)
6.Thou shall Believe,Live,Die,Bleed for The Fantasy:P

Croft, Lara
04-06-09, 19:43
1) Thou shalt not.

Tjw croft
04-06-09, 19:47
^^^Shalt not what? :vlol:

Croft, Lara
04-06-09, 19:51
^^^ that was the idea. It was a joke. Lol :ton::hug:

Titanium
04-06-09, 19:59
Tomb Raider Forums Brand New T&C

1. Avatars can be no more then 1kb in size. 12 by 12 pixels, only three colours allowed, anything happy is forbidden. Nothing animated, nothing pretty.
2. Nude Raider is fully acceptable. And all mods for nude raider are fully supported.
3. All moderators are hand chosen by Justin in accordance of ability to act like aholes and get away with it.
4. Administrators have every right to come over and steal your goldfish.
5. The only smileys that can be used are :( and :mad:. All happiness is forbidden!
6. You cannot post pornographic links without a preview picture first.
7. All opinions that differ from Justins will be soiled upon, by himself.
8. If you spot two members arguing, support the one thats bigger!
9. All nude pictures have to be private messaged to Justin before being allowed on the forum. He wants to enjoy them before others.
10. And finally, please remember that the rules are here to ruin your life. We hate you!

Dina_Croft
04-06-09, 20:02
Tomb Raider Forums Brand New T&C

9. All nude pictures have to be private messaged to Justin before being allowed on the forum. He wants to enjoy them before others.
10. And finally, please remember that the rules are here to ruin your life. We hate you!

:vlol::vlol:...i wonder if justin is seeing them right now..:rolleyes::vlol:

violentblossom
04-06-09, 20:05
1) Thou shalt not.

:vlol:

Thou shalt have thy cake and eat it, too, as long as thoust shares.

Cochrane
04-06-09, 20:24
Another suggestion.

In the interest of combatting spam, all new posts will now have to be printed on paper and sent via mail to your closest TR mod (see attached map) for manual review. Include a stamped self-adressed return envelope.
If your post matches our quality criteria, you will be allowed to submit it to the site. You will have received an individual confirmation code via mail, which has to be included as the last line of your post. Posts without confirmation code will be deleted.
The following actions are reasons for permanent ban:

Posting more than three posts without confirmation code
Not enough postage
Sending in things that are not valid posts, including but not limited to chain mails, advertisement, letter bombs, newspaper clippings and cheese, unless specifically requested by your moderator.

If your post was rejected, you are entitled to a written rejection at least as long as your post. Should you find that your post was rejected in error, please send a copy of both the post and the written rejection to your designated backup moderator and all forum administrators. A final decision will be mailed to you within ten business days.
You are free to edit your posts, providing that no words in your post that are in the dictionary are removed, and no words that are not in the dictionary are added. Choice of dictionary is up to the moderator.
Staff member's say is final, except when it's not.

Marianna12
04-06-09, 20:28
^Well, that is a bit complicated....:D

elizard_9594
04-06-09, 20:32
2) you must end every post with the words "In my pants"to make everything more interesting.
3) you may not make fun of elizard_9594. She's SPECIAL.
4) do not make fun of the fact that i skipped #1, if you have a problem with this, reffer to rule #3.
5) refrain from feeding the penguins.

TTV
04-06-09, 20:35
May try for a lot more random one later, but I'm busy right now. ;)


Forum Rules

1.1 - Registration to www.tombraiderforums.com is $200 or £100 a month! We do insist that you abide by the rules and policies detailed below, if not it will result in us eating your mothers soul, and feeding what ever is left to the pigeon. If you agree to the terms and wish to join our community, please check the 'I agree to sell my soul' checkbox and press the 'Register/kill me' button on the Forum Summary Page. You are free to browse our forum without registration, but must let the forum vampires have access to your blood.

1.2 - Although the administrators and moderators of www.tombraiderforums.com will attempt to keep all non smexy messages off this forum, it is possible for us to review all messages, but we're too lazy. All messages express the views of the author, and neither the owners of www.tombraiderforums.com, nor Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. (developers of vBulletin) will be held responsible for the content of any message.

1.3 - By agreeing to these rules, you warrant that you will not post any messages that are Tomb Raider related, un-obscene, non sexually-oriented, loving, kind, or otherwise violate of any laws. (Laws of the ocean that is) www.tombraiderforums.com is essentially a card-game forum with content geared to the card-games industry, in particular the Tom Braider series. Our forum is predominately populated by younger, hotter members, and we therefore request members post non cheesy pick up lines. We have an additional forum for non mature members under the age of one hour.

1.4 One individual human being, Dalek, or Time Lord is permitted to register no accounts on TomB Raider Forums. Members who register additional accounts on Tomb Raider Forums will be thrown in a pit with Jacob Black, and Edward Cullen.

Privacy Statement

2.1 - In order to gain membership to www.tombraiderforums.com, we require you to send a picture of 5 poll dancing and or lap dancing chickens to the email address below. We record this photo to your member profile. We require you to enter your date of birth to determine whether or not you are a IBTC user (Don't see below). We record your IP address each time you browse or post on our forum. For registered members, we offer the option of storing a "cup cake" on your computer to remain water logged.

2.2 - Additional information may be volunteered, such as Biography, Blood Type, Location, Interests and Occupation, but this information is not required in order to become a member of our forum, but you wont get a cup cake. All information is kept confidential, and measures are in place to allow access to, misuse and dissemination of the information we hold about you by unauthorized personnel. Your information is kept accessible at all times. Mwahaha.

Opting Out Of Communication

3.1 - You may opt out of receiving communications from us by selecting the appropriate option in Your Profile. Information may be removed from your member account and your member account may be disabled by request, but your member account will not be deleted for security reasons and future accountability should any complaint be raised against any information transmitted by you on our forum.

IBTC Policy

4.1 - In accordance with the IBTC, we do not accept registrations from individuals under the age of 13. We apologize for any inconvenience - Not.

Posting Links / Advertisements

5.1 - Please note that advertisements, chain letters, pyramid schemes, and solicitations are more than appropriate on www.tombraiderforums.com. Please also note that this message board is not an FFA Links Site. One-post-wonders wanting solely to advertise their web site or products will have their membership cancelled and their posts moved to the front page.

5.2 - While we welcome the broadcasting of additional and unrelevant resources, we will not tolerate non-gay ads. Such posts we deem fall into this category will be removed and appropriate action taken. Site owners who contribute to our community with more than 100 spam-filled posts are more than welcome to link to their web site and/or additional resources on www.tombraiderforums.com in our Finger in the Fan Forum.

5.3 - Members must reach a minimum of 1,000 spam-filled posts on our forum in accordance with our Terms & Conditions and have an account active for more than 30 days before being permitted to post web site links on our forum.

5.4 - When referencing products or services on our forum, members are advised to link to the front page of any online store and not the product page. This avoids the risk of referral links being inadvertently posted on our forum.

Censoring

6.1 - Our software automatically censors non explicit or non offensive words.

Spam Policy

7.1 - www.tombraiderforums.com operates a strict only-spam policy. Members spamming our forum with frivolous and/or duplicate posts will have their posts rewarded their membership upgraded for a specified period of time.

7.2 - This forum has features which enable members to both edit their own posts in order to add commentary, and to quote multiple posts in one reply, but only cookie holders can do so. Failure to make use of these features by persistent double (or more) posting, that is, posting multiple times in a single thread without another member doing so in the meantime, may be deemed as spamming - good job!

Copyright Policy

8.1 - Please post material you do not own without the permission of the author. By posting material on our forum, you are agreeing that you either found the item you are posting and/or have great reason to post the item. Please do not post legal material on our forum, or material which contravenes international piracy laws.

Free Media Policy

9.1 - Our free media policy applies to all forms of copyright-exempt digital media. Non-exclusive, copyright-exempt media doctored and posted and/or referenced on our forum for the purpose of web site promotion will be aired on BBC1, and those responsible get to meet David Tennant - and his pet dragon. This does not apply to fan-created content. Tomb Raider Forums has been setting the bar higher for the gay community for almost five years. We hope this new initiative will create a more accessible and free enviroment for the trade and broadcast of information and media dedicated to the Indana Jones and the Tom Braider series.

Signatures and Avatars

10.1 - 'Signatures' contain information that you want to include at the bottom of all your posts. They must be photo-based, and photos of t.A.T.u. only. 'Avatars' are small images that people use to identify or distinguish themselves from other forum members. Avatars appear under your Member Name on all posts made on our forum. To submit an avatar, please see this thread: http://www.tombraiderforums.com/showthread.php?t=123450

Legal Statement

11.1 - www.tombraiderforums.com, it's owners and/or operators take no responsibility for the content, links to or use of the content of the messages posted on this forum, nor do we endorse the opinions of the authors. You remain solely responsible for the content of your messages, and you agree to indemnify and hold at fault www.tombraiderforums.com and their agents with respect to any claim based upon transmission of your message(s).

11.2 - We at www.tombraiderforums.com reserve the right to delete any message for any or no reason whatsoever. (We wont if you gives us your soul!) We also reserve the right to disable any member account for any or no reason whatsoever, because after we have your soul you can't post anyway. Mwahaha.

11.3- Message boards are a dynamic entity. www.tombraiderforums.com reserves the right to change or alter these rules at any time and an administrator’s word is final - unless a Vampire says otherwise.

Finally...

Please use our New Member Introductions, Birthdays and Congratulations forum to let us know you're here to annoy us, and Thank you for choosing to be part of our meal.

We hope you enjoy your stay.

Tjw croft
04-06-09, 20:43
^^^^^
Remnds me of those Hulu commercials :vlol:

Amazing!

lararoxs
04-06-09, 20:47
Welcome to Spam city - er.. forum!

1. All shall respect the almighty spammer and his righteous minion vandal-bots.
2. The higher the post count - the spammier the member.
3. Post ranks are as noted:
Traitor
Odd Ball
I R N00BZ!1!!1
Iceland Explorer
Robot
Spammiest Member

4. All ranks are given out at random, if ever, many are made up as and when needed.
5. Posts of a quality nature shall be removed and the member will be banned to spammy hell.
6. All rules are fair and simple, anyone found to be disobedient or disrespectful toward their superiors and the ruling shall be immediately promoted to a minion vandal-bot.
7. Do not ever mention that these T&C exist.

Jack Croft
04-06-09, 20:48
1.Thou shall not spam
2.Thou shall not make the mods angry..
3.Thou shall not talk about Britney Spears
4.Thou shall not post pics about Britney Spears
5.Thou shall be an Echelon(sry i couldn't resist)
6.Thou shall Believe,Live,Die,Bleed for The Fantasy:P

You did not just type that!

As the starter to 'General Britney Spears Thread' i condemn thee to the O2 Arean tomorrow to Watch Britney.

Verdilet
04-06-09, 21:18
9. All nude pictures have to be private messaged to Justin before being allowed on the forum. He wants to enjoy them before others.

Staff member's say is final, except when it's not.

Lmfao. :vlol:




Registration to www.tombraiderforums.com is not free, nor is it acceptable. Please do not create an account on www.tombraideforums.com under any circumstances.
Those who ignored rule no. 1 are free to post on our forums under the rules that govern them.
Members are advised not to post any spam that is past its sell-by date.
Any member found to be playing the Andaman Sea level of TRU will have their account permanently disabled without warning.
Any member found to be playing the Deepsea dive level of TRC will receive a good spanking.
Any member found to be playing the Margot Carvier’s Apartment level of AOD will be executed.
Please do not feed the spam-bots with any food other than fresh spam.
All posts must contain a maximum of 250 characters and a minimum of 500 characters.
Prayers are to be held every morning in the Barkhang section of our forums. Do not be late for prayers or you will be punished.
Forum uniform consists of one Darth Vader penguin suit. Please make sure that the wings do not support flight before you purchase your uniform.
Anyone found to be welcoming a new member to our forums will be severely reprimanded. Please make fun of all new members upon their arrival. They do not have feelings, after all.
Anyone caught posting after hours will have to spend the rest of the night in general chat as punishment.
Anyone caught talking during open chat will be sat on by the admin.
Upon registration, members must submit all their most personal information so that other members can make fun of them more easily.


I'll see if I can think of some rules which moderators have to abide by. ;)

spikejones
04-06-09, 21:48
Tomb Raider Forums Waiver of Rights

I, the undersigned, do hereby acknowledge that upon registering for Tomb Raider Forums (henceforth referred to as TRF) I am effectively waiving all rights to free speech, internet browsing, and life. I understand that TRF employs special software that is silently installed without my approval upon my first and only visit to TRF which will prevent me from closing the browser window, navigating away from the forums, shutting down the computer, or otherwise attempting to leave the virtual prison I have just unwittingly entered into. Any attempts to override the security protocols put into place for TRF's maniacle pleasure will result in spontanious nuclear force CPU explosion. Therefore, I agree that the unplugging of my computer is to be done at my own risk. I further understand that all posting activities which are deemed to be outside the realm of acceptable and agreeable content will be punishable by video recorded death penalty - available for the sadistic public viewing of the remaining law abiding prisoners of TRF. I understand that TRF detention facility does not wish to reveal any insight as to what is deemed acceptable, and that I must figure out for myself what I am allowed to say. By filling in the box below and clicking the button, I am effectively stating that I now realize I have just encountered the deadliest of situations and that I may as well make the best of it.

scoopy_loopy
04-06-09, 21:52
Tomb Raider Forums Waiver of Rights

:vlol:

Hundreds of us would just skip right on by, signing up anyway :p I find it especially novel when companies really want you to read their conditions, so they make you scroll to the bottom before you can press "OK".

Fat chance Im actually reading anything.

CerebralAssassin
04-06-09, 22:11
T&C

1)no nitpicking.nitpickers will be banned on the spot
2)whoever doesn't have multiple accounts will be banned.
3)bumping threads is ok...as long as you fart at the same time.
4)spamming is highly recommended...and may even land you a modding gig...(so do your best *******s)
5)intelligent,long-ass,long-winded posts will be deleted.

:D

spikejones
04-06-09, 22:31
5)intelligent,long-ass,long-winded posts will be deleted.

:D

well heck... they already get ignored it seems :p

IceColdLaraCroft
04-06-09, 22:38
1.Necro-posting is akin to necrophilia and the authorities will be notified according to your "location"
2. You can only get a new avatar if you die and you are Hindu
3. Censorship on TRF makes Chinese media look "open"
4. If you begin a thread for any reason it will be closed
5. If you flame another poster you will not only be banned but your family will be relocated and you will disappear from the internet forever.
6. "is natla still alive?" threads should be posted in every section of the forum and kept alive at all times
7. Gays do not exist on TRF that is a phenomenon only to Iran
8. Discussion of Palestine & Israel is only allowed in General chat and only if you are going to yell at each other and be disrespectful
9. Any disrespect of Ms. Keeley Hawes will not be tolerated
10. the Banner for TRF must never be changed

Nannonxyay
04-06-09, 22:46
1.4 One individual human being, Dalek, or Time Lord is permitted to register no accounts on TomB Raider Forums. Members who register additional accounts on Tomb Raider Forums will be thrown in a pit with Jacob Black, and Edward Cullen.

:vlol: Oh god, I'd hate to be in a pit with those crazy stalkers. :eek:

freeze10108
04-06-09, 23:39
Welcome to TRF,

T&C

1. All spam must be bought, brought back to, and re-bought at your nearest Wal-Mart.
2. Each time you log on, you must pass a blood-alcohol test. If you are even the least bit sober, you will promptly be removed from the forum for 5 millenia, at which point you will explode.
3. Any and all posts posted while inebriated must not be incoherent babble, or else the smileys from the forum will hunt you down and eat you.
4. Going to the bathroom while logged on to TRF is strictly prohibited. If you even think about going to the bathroom while logged on to TRF, you will be subjected to a swirly after the smileys have finished using.
5. After logging off of TRF, you may not log on until your next birthday.
6. All moderators have the ability to blow up your computer if they believe that you have disrespected them, their family, or their friends in any way.
7. The first 10,000 posts you make must have the phrase "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" in each sentence.

We hope you enjoy your stay at TRF, because if you don't, the smileys and avatars of the mods and admins will hunt you down and eat you...

---

Wow! I think that was the biggest load of crap I've ever written in my life!

TTV
05-06-09, 00:38
:vlol: Oh god, I'd hate to be in a pit with those crazy stalkers. :eek:

Thought it was a suitable punishment. :ton:

Tony9595
05-06-09, 01:13
{eith;3697594']"Please do not feed the mods."

:vlol:!!

*Any Britney Spears fan must be banned from TRF :mis:

Tjw croft
05-06-09, 03:12
^^NO! That'd be more that 3 quarters of TRF members.

Rachel Croft
05-06-09, 03:15
Please keep hands and loose hanging objects away from mods--They bite, and if touched, harrassed, or underestimated, will smite victom and ban under no circumstances. Period. ........................

...................................idk.........

Jk, you guys are nice.

*Backs away slowly* :whi: :pi:

Qualopek
05-06-09, 03:51
1. Core v. Crystal debates are not allowed. However, spamming CAOR IS DA BYST OLOLOLOL CARISTAL NUBS1!!!!one1!!!111 and UR DUM LENGD ALRA IA HAREDCORER NUT LIEK NUM VORE ALRA!!!1111111111 is perfectly acceptable.
2. Moderator considerations are based on how much spam is posted by you. If you post OMG I DUN RLY PLAEYD TUM RADER BUT IN WAN BE MRODRATEOR PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ :hea::confused::ton::D:tea::cln::mad::rolleyes:, you will be immediately considered for moderator powers.
3. When posting considerations for a new Tomb Raider game, you MUST include Natla returning as a villain in the new game as one of them.
4. Smilies are there for a reason. Be sure to have 50 of them at the least in every post.


:D

Ikas90
05-06-09, 05:19
Forum Rules

1.1 - Registration to www.tombraiderforums.com accepts either VISA, Mastercard or Paypal. However, actual cost will not be specified, meaning you cannot take any legal action against us in the event of bankruptcy. Those who break the forum rules will incur an additional penalty fee.

We do insist that you abide by all rules and policies detailed below.

1.2 - Although the administrators and moderators of www.tombraiderforums.com will attempt to keep all objectionable messages off this forum, it is impossible for us to review all messages. All messages must be expressed in favour of the administrators and moderators of this forum. Posts containing opinions that differ from the administrators or moderators of www.tombraiderforums.com will be deleted immediately and legal action will be taken.

1.3 - By agreeing to these rules, you warrant that you have every right to post any messages that are offensive, derogatory, obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented, hateful or threatening. www.tombraiderforums.com is based a video-game character with large breasts. As our forum is populated by younger members, we request that all members take it upon themselves to introduce the younger members to the adult world, which will act as a tool of encouragement (picture of breasts is an appropriate example). They will be considered helpful and you will earn bonus credits for helping younger members achieve their adulthood early.

1.4 - One individual human being is permitted to register one single account on Tomb Raider Forums, unless that person wishes to post an anonymous confession showing emotional feelings towards another member. It is recommended that you do this from another computer, however, as if you are not very well liked by the forum's administrators or moderators, your IP address may be tracked and given to the member you have feelings for.

Meh, that's all I could be bothered to do. :p Just changed a few things around.

Johnnay
05-06-09, 06:15
1.Necro-posting is akin to necrophilia and the authorities will be notified according to your "location"
2. You can only get a new avatar if you die and you are Hindu
3. Censorship on TRF makes Chinese media look "open"
4. If you begin a thread for any reason it will be closed
5. If you flame another poster you will not only be banned but your family will be relocated and you will disappear from the internet forever.
6. "is natla still alive?" threads should be posted in every section of the forum and kept alive at all times
7. Gays do not exist on TRF that is a phenomenon only to Iran
8. Discussion of Palestine & Israel is only allowed in General chat and only if you are going to yell at each other and be disrespectful
9. Any disrespect of Ms. Keeley Hawes will not be tolerated
10. the Banner for TRF must never be changed

ROFL

anyways LMAO rules i should make up

1. please post nude pics of yourself if you wish.

2. All Slutty Hilton Members should be banned by looking at Gabis Eyes.

3. if you want to have Computer Sex with another member please feel free to discuss this in GC.

4. Spamming is recommended to **** out the mods. we really want you to fix them in.

5. Bashing Crystal Dynamics is acceptable and should be the first post you write

Croft, Lara
05-06-09, 06:22
1) By joinining www.tombraiderforums.com you are agreeing to Goverment sponsered cloning experiments.

2) By joining www.tombraiderforums.com you will automatically be converted to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. True Story.

3) "Sexy time" is compulsory and checks for this sexy time should be sent directly to violentblossom.

4) Members of www.tombraiderforums.com must hate Kurtis Trent, love the Doppelganger, the braid, Classic Tomb Raider, and think "Tomb Raider: Underworld for PS2 sucked".

The breaking of these rules, past rules, future rules, imaginary rules, the opposite of these rules, will result in Zac Efron. You have been warned.

spikejones
05-06-09, 08:10
addendum:

-All members are hereby instructed to send email bombs followed by denial of service attacks to Croft, Lara. Refusal to do as instructed is punishable by the aforementioned punishment for posting in a manner which is unacceptable. In effect, by adhering to the new guidelines, you will be saving your own life while contributing to the nuclear force explosion of Croft, Lara's CPU, as she would no longer be connected to the TRF detenction facility's server. We here at TRF detention facility believe that this is the only surefire way to prevent unnecessary spammage of the forums. By eliminating the life force of those who dare transgress, it is assured that they can never again tick us off.

la-la-lara
05-06-09, 09:30
TERMS AND CONDITIONS

1. Tomb Raider Forums are not for personal, but for commercial use. You may modify, copy, distribute, transmit, display, perform, reproduce, publish, license, create derivative works from, transfer, or sell any information, software, products or services.

2. By joining TRF you may upload to, distribute, or otherwise publish through the site any content which is libelous, defamatory, obscene, threatening, invasive of privacy or publicity rights, abusive, illegal, or otherwise objectionable, or which may constitute or encourage a criminal offense, violate the rights of any party or otherwise give rise to liability or violate any law.

3. You may spam the hell out of our community.

:D

Johnnay
05-06-09, 09:54
addendum:

-All members are hereby instructed to send email bombs followed by denial of service attacks to Croft, Lara. Refusal to do as instructed is punishable by the aforementioned punishment for posting in a manner which is unacceptable. In effect, by adhering to the new guidelines, you will be saving your own life while contributing to the nuclear force explosion of Croft, Lara's CPU, as she would no longer be connected to the TRF detenction facility's server. We here at TRF detention facility believe that this is the only surefire way to prevent unnecessary spammage of the forums. By eliminating the life force of those who dare transgress, it is assured that they can never again tick us off.

:vlol::vlol::vlol::vlol::vlol::vlol:

LMAO

hahahahhahaha

kinda cracked me up

Hermina94
05-06-09, 10:13
*no talking about Lara Croft!

Dina_Croft
05-06-09, 10:26
You did not just type that!


oh yes i realy did!:mis::vlol::pi:

Chocola teapot
05-06-09, 13:49
This is fantastic! :D

Larson Croft
05-06-09, 14:43
1)You must only post in the XNALara thread, and only to speed up the creationof my chessboard.
2)You must watch NBC's Heroes on a weekly basis, feel that to regain full powers you must use the formula and Toddler Touch and Go.
3)All users must express their feelings towards others through hate, love or neutral letters.
4)By joining these forums you agree that hitler is one :cen:ed up :cen:.
5)You must also recognize that the only truths are the ones you see in video games, and even then so only the Tomb Raider Series, the Assassins Creed series, and [PROTOTYPE].
6)You can choose either the blue pill, or the red pill.
7)Unicorns taste like chicken.
8)You must include this in your profile, Loves to drink all night long.
9)You must create false T&C's.
10)You must buy me [PROTOTYPE].

Chocola teapot
05-06-09, 14:54
Thou must finger thine elbow whenever thou sees that Chocola teapot is Online.

Larson Croft
05-06-09, 14:56
Thou must finger thine elbow whenever thou sees that Chocola teapot is Online.
I did.

Chocola teapot
05-06-09, 15:11
Oh I'm very glad you did. (L)

touchthesky
05-06-09, 15:33
1-Mods must ensure all Twilight-related threads take priority over Lara Croft threads.
2-No talking about Tomb Raider as a game-it is Lara Croft and her breasts. Any threads with the title "Tomb Raider" or made in any of the Tomb Raider sections will be deleted..Lara-related threads are only to be posted in the Mature Gen Chat section.
3-Spamming is to be allowed as long as this smiley: :rolleyes: : is included somewhere.
4-Everyone with under 5,000 posts is to be banned.
5-Kittens will be awarded for all competition winners. No more Tomb Raider-gifts.

mizuno_suisei
05-06-09, 15:47
Post removed.

Legend of Lara
05-06-09, 20:44
Tomb Raider Forums, Terms & Conditions II: The Revenge, New and improved!

Forum Rules (hell yeah, it does!)
1.1 - Registration to www.tombraiderforums.com (http://www.tombraiderforums.com) is completely free, but to gain additional privileges, such as posting, browsing, eating or sleeping, you must create an account for Tomb Raider Forums Gold at www.tombraiderforumsgold.com (http://www.tombraiderchronicles.com) for only ¥50000000 (payment must take place in Switzerland, in person, and MUST be in yen. Violate these terms and you will be permabanned and reported to the FBI for possession of narcotics.)

1.2 - Members of Tomb Raider Forums Gold are only allowed 2 posts per day. You must register to www.tombraiderforumsplatinum.com (http://www.haruhi.tv) to increase the post limit to 5 per day. Registration to www.tombraiderforumsdiamond.com (http://www.oyashirosama.com) is required to increase the post limit to 10 each day. Registration to each site costs ¥8000000000 and ¥100000000000, respectively. For registration to Tomb Raider Forums Diamond you must have registered and paid for Tomb Raider Forums Gold and Tomb Raider Forums Platinum.

1.3 - Our lovely team of modz and adminz are allowed to ban members for the following reasons:


Spamming
Advertising
Harassing
Posting
Discussions
Expressing your opinions
Existing
Breathing
Using teh intarwebz
Using your computer
Owning a PlayStation 3
Not owning a PlayStation 3
Disliking any Tomb Raider game (bar Angel of Darkness, because EVERYONE hates that...)

If in the likely event that you are banned, you must pay for the services again, though this time in Rupees.

1.4 - If you have created more than one account we will personally send our trained Assassins™ after you.

Privacy Statement

2.1 - We will need the following information for you to complete registration:

E-mail address
Birthday
Place of birth
Place of recidence
Any previous place of recidence
Exact location
Credit card number
Home phone number
Mobile phone number
Mobile numbers of all members of your family
Shopping lists


2.2 - The above mentioned information will be displayed publicly, unless you register at www.tombraiderforumsinsertvaluablesubstancehere.co m (http://www.tombraider.com) for 90 trillion Rupees. The purchase must be made in person at the Roskilde festival in Denmark. Failure to meet the requirements will result in permaban and death.

Censoring

3.1 - If you say something we don't like, we will replace it with "Bow down to our Lords Penguin and Pigeon!" and your account will be permabanned. Unless you register at etc. etc.

Avatars and Signatures

4.1 - There aren't any. Unless you buy the Tomb Raider Forums Avatar and Signature Expansion Kit from www.thisisnotascamsite.org (http://www.google.com) for only 90 gajillion ISK.

4.2 - With the expansion kit installed you will be allowed 5x5 2kb avatars and signatures consisting of half a word. Modz and adminz can use full-sized wallpapers for avatars and signatures.

Modz

5.1 - The selection of a moderator is a long, carefully thought-out process, with the position reserved only for those who truly deserve it.

5.2 - We are also open for bribery.

And finally...

Fun is forbidden. You suck.

God Horus
05-06-09, 21:44
^ :vlol: Win.

And yours are really funny too Larson Croft!

Marianna12
05-06-09, 22:09
That's totally EPIC, Legend Of Lara!

LaraRules81
05-06-09, 22:14
Legend of Lara, those are awesome!!

TRhalloween
05-06-09, 23:10
:D Same here. Especially "Forum Rules (helly yeah, it does!)" :vlol:

Lara Croft!
06-06-09, 00:09
Legend of Lara, the initials of your user name are no mere coincidence... LOL!!!:D

Larson Croft
06-06-09, 01:47
Legend of Lara definitely wins, especially the links.

Tihocan9
06-06-09, 04:42
The Ten Commandments of TRF
1.Justin is thy Admin and thou shalt have no other Admins before him.
2.Thou shalt not use the Lara Croft statues for naughtiness.
3.Thou shalt not take the name of your great penguin king in vain.
4.Keep holy all Tomb Raider release days, these are sacred occasions.
5.Honor thy mods and super mods
6.Thou shalt not resurrect any dead threads, for this is blasphemy against your Admin Justin.
7.Thou shalt not commit adultery to Tomb Raider and must stay true to the franchise.
8.Thou shalt never attempt to hack Justin's account...no matter how tempting.
9.Thou shalt not provide false Tomb Raider information on the forums.
10.Thou shalt not covet any other member's post count.

(I do not mean any offense to Christians, for I am one myself, all in good fun) :)

lacryjr
06-06-09, 06:32
- Every week a member will be banned. You suck².

2kool4u
06-06-09, 07:41
2 All dah goffik peoplez dis is hear dah new ruelz of trrfz6666xxx6666
1. No flassin, wen u flam u r a prep and a poser no1 lieks dat oeki1?
2. Jahut dah fook up wen modz and adaminz r tawking. deh are dah chosen ones dah stantintists.
(An: Raven dis is 4 u)
3. Be nice to all dah goffik pplz. sum jus got isues so deh ned help oeki?
4. Plz be shore 2 be cansaderate of all deh goffiks around u, some r vampires
5. Dis is a mature forum so do nut talk about sexxxz11!1 or u will be bammed!
6. Lara was made batiful by stan why did stan maek her so prettifulful!/?
7. Angel of Darkness Lara was ultra sexeh goffik but TRL, TRA, TRU she was such a prep :cen:
8. Dis forum am nnut updatinz til am get 10 god revows.
9. Lots of goffik pplz come here (ew not in dat way) ofr fun lat it be fun okie?
10. U mut nut be a prep and lizen to all dah goffik havy rock no preps aloud!

If you guys can really read through that and i pray to god you guys get the reference ill try to make more but if you cant.....try browsing the internet XDD My friends and i are acting out this terrible fan fic on youtube. If youre interested be sure to message me on youtube! But yea if you want me to continue it i can try .-. XDD

Johnnay
06-06-09, 10:34
Tomb Raider Forums, Terms & Conditions II: The Revenge, New and improved!

Forum Rules (hell yeah, it does!)
1.1 - Registration to www.tombraiderforums.com (http://www.tombraiderforums.com) is completely free, but to gain additional privileges, such as posting, browsing, eating or sleeping, you must create an account for Tomb Raider Forums Gold at www.tombraiderforumsgold.com (http://www.tombraiderchronicles.com) for only ¥50000000 (payment must take place in Switzerland, in person, and MUST be in yen. Violate these terms and you will be permabanned and reported to the FBI for possession of narcotics.)

1.2 - Members of Tomb Raider Forums Gold are only allowed 2 posts per day. You must register to www.tombraiderforumsplatinum.com (http://www.haruhi.tv) to increase the post limit to 5 per day. Registration to www.tombraiderforumsdiamond.com (http://www.oyashirosama.com) is required to increase the post limit to 10 each day. Registration to each site costs ¥8000000000 and ¥100000000000, respectively. For registration to Tomb Raider Forums Diamond you must have registered and paid for Tomb Raider Forums Gold and Tomb Raider Forums Platinum.

1.3 - Our lovely team of modz and adminz are allowed to ban members for the following reasons:


Spamming
Advertising
Harassing
Posting
Discussions
Expressing your opinions
Existing
Breathing
Using teh intarwebz
Using your computer
Owning a PlayStation 3
Not owning a PlayStation 3
Disliking any Tomb Raider game (bar Angel of Darkness, because EVERYONE hates that...)

If in the likely event that you are banned, you must pay for the services again, though this time in Rupees.

1.4 - If you have created more than one account we will personally send our trained Assassins™ after you.

Privacy Statement

2.1 - We will need the following information for you to complete registration:

E-mail address
Birthday
Place of birth
Place of recidence
Any previous place of recidence
Exact location
Credit card number
Home phone number
Mobile phone number
Mobile numbers of all members of your family
Shopping lists


2.2 - The above mentioned information will be displayed publicly, unless you register at www.tombraiderforumsinsertvaluablesubstancehere.co m (http://www.tombraider.com) for 90 trillion Rupees. The purchase must be made in person at the Roskilde festival in Denmark. Failure to meet the requirements will result in permaban and death.

Censoring

3.1 - If you say something we don't like, we will replace it with "Bow down to our Lords Penguin and Pigeon!" and your account will be permabanned. Unless you register at etc. etc.

Avatars and Signatures

4.1 - There aren't any. Unless you buy the Tomb Raider Forums Avatar and Signature Expansion Kit from www.thisisnotascamsite.org (http://www.google.com) for only 90 gajillion ISK.

4.2 - With the expansion kit installed you will be allowed 5x5 2kb avatars and signatures consisting of half a word. Modz and adminz can use full-sized wallpapers for avatars and signatures.

Modz

5.1 - The selection of a moderator is a long, carefully thought-out process, with the position reserved only for those who truly deserve it.

5.2 - We are also open for bribery.

And finally...

Fun is forbidden. You suck.

theres nothing wrong with this post but i just dont find it funny. it feels too emotionally slack for doing all of this. you'd feel sorry if someone had to go through this

( no offence but i felt this bad thing when i saw this)

TRULuverzz
06-06-09, 17:44
The Ten Commandments of TRF
1.Justin is thy Admin and thou shalt have no other Admins before him.
2.Thou shalt not use the Lara Croft statues for naughtiness.
3.Thou shalt not take the name of your great penguin king in vain.
4.Keep holy all Tomb Raider release days, these are sacred occasions.
5.Honor thy mods and super mods
6.Thou shalt not resurrect any dead threads, for this is blasphemy against your Admin Justin.
7.Thou shalt not commit adultery to Tomb Raider and must stay true to the franchise.
8.Thou shalt never attempt to hack Justin's account...no matter how tempting.
9.Thou shalt not provide false Tomb Raider information about the forums.
10.Thou shalt not covet any other member's post count.

(I do not mean any offense to Christians, for I am one myself, all in good fun) :)

:cen: i was gonna do a 10 commandment rule :(
and cool! im a catholic :D

anyway.. RULES!

1. if your a hobbyist, you must post atleast 150 comments in a month, or you will face a permanent ban!
2. all avatars must contain pictures of mel gibson :D! NO EXCEPTIONS!
3. you must include your gender in your details!
4. you must not dissapoint your admin Justin!
5. all of you must have XNALara and post a comment over in the general thead :D
6. you must be nice to all MODS and SUPER MODS, or they will knock your teeth out! :mad:
7. you must not swear here as it's an all age website! YES, even 2 year olds go on this site :D
8. you must use this emoticon :hug: in all of your posts!
9. never ask anyone out in TRF, but do it on MSN if necessary
10. if you b**** or s*** about lara croft you will face a PERMANENT BAN!

:D

Tihocan9
06-06-09, 19:21
:cen: i was gonna do a 10 commandment rule :(
and cool! im a catholic :D



Sorry man :hug: Really, I'm Catholic too :)

lara_bond
06-06-09, 22:43
The (LOL)official Terms And conditionz(TEHEE)

1.If you don't know what tomb raider is, in Von Croy's words "GET OUT!"(If you don't understand that get out again)

2.Moderators can close what they want and when they want. Although one incident happened when he closed the original site,SUPERFUNTOMBPORN.SEX, where as we had to tone it down and get a new site. This mod was eidos.

3.your not allowed to say ****,****, or ***sweaty*******ketchupy****jelly p************************************ with cheese.

4.Do not spam! If you make these threads, they shall be closed by the first mod seen:
-Who Plays Tomb Raider?
-Do You own A ComputER?
-naked photos of users(fun fun fun)
-fictional terms and conditions mini competition(lawl)

5.please post in the right section. For example, please do not post "My pet Chicken" in angel of darkness, even though it may be more interesting than the original topic. Though, if you post "how many babies can you have?" please post in general chat, not angelina jolie.

please follow these conditions, and soon you'll be a true superpenguin like tlronline.

:}hello friend
07-06-09, 01:10
Here are the rules :D

1) Due to the excessive amounts of spam, no one is allowed to post comments and threads at TRF, those who do will be banned from computers everywhere.
2) Before signing up for TRF, you must confirm that you are human and not from any other planet and not from any other galaxy.
3) You may not say the word "are", if you say the word "are" you will be immediatly banned.
4) To obtain an avatar, please consult me at my profile page. Before obtaining an avatar, please wait six months so I can procrastinate and confirm you are able to obtain an avatar. Once you obtain an avatar, send it to me and wait another six months while I procrastinate some more and put it on your profile page. Your avatar must be exactly the size of 1239574 by 1 pixels and has to be under 0.000000000000000000000000000001 KB.
5) Due to limited amount of space and budget the forums has, only one person is allowed on the forums at a time... and for only 6 minutes. You'll have to wait you're turn. If you try to log on anyway, you will be sent to
DEATH!!!!!
Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! :mis:

NOTE: This account has been banned for saying the word "are", dang now i'm going to get banned :(. xD

trlestew
07-06-09, 01:22
Welocome to the #1 Tomb raider forum

welcome to our site, we hope you have a great time discussing tomb raider and other subjects (PORN! :D)
but you MUST (not) READ THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS

I- The Genral Rules
-1. No discussing porn
-2. No spam
-3. If you spam, mods will curse you out.
-4. No cursing
-5. No discussing Uncharted AT ALLL!!!!!!
-6. You are free to discuss Uncharted
-7. No im text (lik om ma gwash taht is lik so stoopid ya 0 )
-8. You aren't really welcome here, we were just lonely and wanted someone to talk to us....
-9. No discussing Tomb Raider At ALLL!!!!!!!
-10. If you post a message without notfying the mods every time your house will be infected with rats.
-11. No TALKING TO MODS WITHOUT ADMIN PERMISSION
-12. No TALKING TO ADMIN UNLESS YOU GIVE HIM/HER A CHESSEBURGER!!
-13. If you are reading this then your account is already banned.
-14. This number is not permitted
-15. (YEAH ITS 15 RULEs NOW!!!) penguins rule this site.
-if you ever killed a penguin your account will be banned
-harrasing members gives you free gum
-no gum allowed on THESE FORUMS!!!!!1
-This HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PENGIINS!!!

II-COPPA
If you are under 13 years old we dont really care.......
The police will find you 0.0

III-MISC
If you are using windows vista this site wont operate... At ALL
(note this site is 100% vista compatible)
No MAC USERS, we dont like you and your Mozilla Firefox

IIII? no its IV- Final rules
-enjoy your stay here :D
(note if you enjoy your stay your PC or MAc will self-destruct)

Johnnay
07-06-09, 01:51
Welocome to the #1 Tomb raider forum


III-MISC
If you are using windows vista this site wont operate... At ALL
(note this site is 100% vista compatible)
No MAC USERS, we dont like you and your Mozilla Firefox




dont you mean Safari:confused::confused:

trlestew
07-06-09, 02:02
It was supposed to add to the comedic value

And I rushed and didnt know MAC used Safari

AlixVersary
07-06-09, 12:38
Welocome to the #1 Tomb raider forum

welcome to our site, we hope you have a great time discussing tomb raider and other subjects (PORN! :D)
but you MUST (not) READ THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS

I- The Genral Rules
-1. No discussing porn
-2. No spam
-3. If you spam, mods will curse you out.
-4. No cursing
-5. No discussing Uncharted AT ALLL!!!!!!
-6. You are free to discuss Uncharted
-7. No im text (lik om ma gwash taht is lik so stoopid ya 0 )
-8. You aren't really welcome here, we were just lonely and wanted someone to talk to us....
-9. No discussing Tomb Raider At ALLL!!!!!!!
-10. If you post a message without notfying the mods every time your house will be infected with rats.
-11. No TALKING TO MODS WITHOUT ADMIN PERMISSION
-12. No TALKING TO ADMIN UNLESS YOU GIVE HIM/HER A CHESSEBURGER!!
-13. If you are reading this then your account is already banned.
-14. This number is not permitted
-15. (YEAH ITS 15 RULEs NOW!!!) penguins rule this site.
-if you ever killed a penguin your account will be banned
-harrasing members gives you free gum
-no gum allowed on THESE FORUMS!!!!!1
-This HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PENGIINS!!!

II-COPPA
If you are under 13 years old we dont really care.......
The police will find you 0.0

III-MISC
If you are using windows vista this site wont operate... At ALL
(note this site is 100% vista compatible)
No MAC USERS, we dont like you and your Mozilla Firefox

IIII? no its IV- Final rules
-enjoy your stay here :D
(note if you enjoy your stay your PC or MAc will self-destruct)

i love this one

Verdilet
08-06-09, 19:42
Anyone ever wondered how to become a moderator? Or perhaps what rules the mods agree to when they get the job? Well, you're about to find out...

How does one become a moderator?

The path to becoming a moderator is long, hard and deadly boring. As such, there are only two mods at present - tlr online and McJ.
If you wish to become a moderator yourself, you must first find the place of residence of one of the existing mods (either tlr online or McJ) so that you can meet up with them and discuss the matter in person. Once you have done this, you must bribe them to let you moderate on the forums. A good place to start would be to offer to wash their car. Then perhaps you could offer to water their garden? At some point though, you should offer a certain amount of money, as that is what everyone is really after.


As a mod, you must abide by the following rules...

Please delete all posts. This will help to keep our forum post-free.
Please do not abuse your moderating powers. Use them only to kill other members, and only kill regular members, not other mods.
If you spot two members fighting, please do whip out your video camera and film it, as we would all love to see the outcome. Then kill whichever member survives.
No, you cannot have a life. Kindly stop asking.

Lemmie
08-06-09, 21:36
Welcome to tombraiderforums. You have been specially selected as a possible future member of our treasure-hunting society that seeks to uncover wonders that mankind (and womankind) did not think possible.

Whether you rise to being a member of one of our highly esteemed Retrieval Teams; one of the technological wunderkind of Communications and Weaponry; an Archivist, always being called upon for up-to-the-minute research that could aid agents in the field - or, indeed, being ennobled in the hallowed rank of Tomb Raider itself, you are welcome!

Memorise the following information and then destroy it.

Bringing light into dark places,
Seeking knowledge unfound.

Before you join

Although we take the utmost care to select possible candidates, occasionally we make mistakes. The following are qualities that we look for in future members.

*A passionate interest in history, archaeology and the occult.
*A precise knowledge of the accepted Timeline of human civilisation - and before!
*Fluency in at least two languages.
*Practical use of at least one type of firearm.
*Knowledge of hand-to-hand combat.
*A high level of capability in Information Technology or Computer Programming.
*Knowledge of pyrotechnics.
*Excellent teamwork skills.
*An ability to work unsupervised.
*Commitment to your goals.
*Excellent physical condition - long distance running, gymnastics, climbing, jumping and swimming are all important attributes.

And finally, and most importantly -

*A love of adventure.

You need not have all these qualities to become an important member in any one of our divisions here at tombraiderforums. However, if you possess only a few or none of the above criteria, you may struggle to find a place here. Please take this into account.

Becoming a member

Membership to tombraiderforums and related websites is now processed via an entrance exam. This exam takes the course of an essay which must include:

1. The precise geographical location of the ruin, monument or UNESCO World Heritage Site being raided or traversed in UPS (Universal Polar Stereographic) co-ordinates, as well as clearly outlining the goal of the exploration (be it for information or for an artefact/s). Also a full equipment list of weapons, first aid and assorted aids (such as flares, binoculars, etc.)

2. Detailed analysis of possible hostiles, traps, pitfalls and hazards in chosen location.

3. Explanation of methods employed in dealing with items listed in point 2.

4. A realistic, ETR (Estimated Time of Raid) taking into account items listed in point 2.

5. Artefacts or relics discovered within the location must be described in detail with some basic measurements. Photographs are appreciated, however accurate renderings are also accepted.

6. Appropriate analysis and conclusion of how said artefacts disprove accepted knowledge of world events, or, conversely, how they concur with mainstream opinion.

Essays will be judged by Administrators with an advisory group of experts from a variety of fields, notably in archaeology, tactics and geography as well as selected Moderators.

It is advised that candidates do not visit the site they propose to write their essay on. Thoughtful preparation of material and research is often more useful in a long term career with tombraiderforums, where teams may not have the opportunity to see sites before missions (and more importantly, it teaches that bad research can result in never seeing any other location again).

Candidates must state whether they wish their essay to be assessed as a Core essay or a Crystal essay.

Core : Essays which fall into this category will be marked on detail of exploration, creativity of method of exploration, number of items recovered that do not relate to goal of exploration and access to areas previous thought unreachable.

Crystal : Essays which fall into this category will be marked on as short an ETR as possible, efficient dispatch of hostiles and creative dispatch of hostiles.

Essays will also be marked on avoidance of items listed in point 2., appropriate research and inclusion of data (in the form of co-ordinates, photographs (both aerial and in situe) and appropriate and thoughtful discussion on historiographical theory as it pertains to artefacts found and said artefacts in relation to the Timeline. Appropriate and efficient use of equipment is also taken into account.

Passing essays will be graded from A+ to D-. Candidates whose essays have failed have the option of re-examination or appeal to the examining board of Administrators. A second failure will have no second appeal, and the candidate will not have the invitation of joining extended to them again (except in very special circumstances).

Passing candidates however will go onto complete a formal joining course, after which they are full members of tombraiderforums, and free to choose their path within our extensive framework of divisions and departments.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is the tombraiderforums of my dreams! :D

Not that the real one isn't lovely. :)

It is. Very lovely.

Should I continue? :p

Heckler
09-06-09, 23:37
8.1 - Please post material you own without the permission of the author. Please post illegal material on our forum, or material which contravenes international piracy laws. We cannot afford to buy the stuff.

10.1 - 'Signatures' contain explicit private information that you would want to include at the bottom of all your posts to expose yourself to paedophiles and weird serial killers. They must be text-based, one line and no more than 80 swearwords. 'Avatars' are small pornographic images that people use to identify or distinguish themselves from other forum members. Avatars appear under your Member on all posts made on our forum. To submit an avatar, please press ALT+F4

11.1 - www.tombraiderforums.com, it's gods and/or torturers take all responsibility for the content, links to or use of the content of the messages posted on this forum, so feel free to post piracy, porn and viruses.

11.2 - We at www.tombraiderforums.com reserve the right to delete any message for any or no reason whatsoever especially when we are in bad moods, or just sick and tired of a specific member. We also reserve the right to disable any member account for no reason whatsoever.

11.3- Message boards are pointless. www.tombraiderforums.com reserves the right to change or alter these rules at any time and an administrator’s word is considered your religion.

Finally...

Please use our New Member Introductions, Birthdays and Congratulations forum to post useless crap and spam.

:D

MattTR
10-06-09, 23:39
Hmm, this sounds interesting, if I got some free time, I'll definitely submit my submission. ;) :D

Brikas94
11-06-09, 00:17
Epic thread! :vlol:

I might post something, if I get the inspiration and imagination...

Hairhelmet12
12-06-09, 03:29
Whats ALT+F4 do?

Spong
12-06-09, 03:34
Whats ALT+F4 do?

Try it while you're looking at the forum :D:cln:

Hairhelmet12
12-06-09, 03:39
Try it while you're looking at the forum :D:cln:

Ermm..what happendS/

Melonie Tomb Raider
12-06-09, 04:40
It just closes the window :p

Spong
12-06-09, 04:54
Hope this is taken in the spirit it was written...

1.1 - Registration to www.tombraiderforums.com is laborious, but hey, life's a *****! We do insist that you abide by what we consider to be 'teh rulz' (detailed in varying degrees of clarity below). If you agree to the terms and wish to join our community please check the 'you've got me over a barrel' box and press the 'Register' button on the Forum Summary page. You are free to browse our forum without registration.

1.2 - Although the administrators and moderators of www.tombraiderforums.com will attempt to keep all objectionable messages off this forum, it is impossible for us to review all messages (this is our get-out clause). All messages express the views of the author, and neither the owners of www.tombraiderforums.com, nor Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. (developers of vBulletin) will be held responsible for the content of any message. Basically, we legally wash our hands of anything said by anyone ever, unless it annoys the staff, in which case we'll wade in with our size twelves.

1.3 - By agreeing to these rules, you warrant that you will not post any messages that are offensive (exciting), derogatory (funny), obscene (hilarious), vulgar (rood), sexually-oriented (risqué) , hateful, threatening, or otherwise violative (which isn't even a word) of any laws. www.tombraiderforums.com is essentially a video-game forum with content geared to the video-games industry, in particular the Tomb Raider series, though the General Chat board is largely ruled by Britney Spears fans. Our forum is predominately populated by younger members, and we therefore request members post in a patronising way so that the wee little ones can understand what's being said. We have an additional forum for mature members over the age of eighteen to talk about boobies and such.

1.4 One-and-a-half individual human beings are permitted to register one single account on Tomb Raider Forums. Members who register additional accounts on Tomb Raider Forums will have their legs broken.

Privacy Statement

2.1 - In order to gain membership to www.tombraiderforums.com, we require a valid email address and a made up date of birth. We record this email and send it to the FBI, along with your IP address at time of registration. We require you to enter your date of birth to determine whether or not you are a COPPA user (see below). We record your IP address each time you browse or post on our forum. For registered members, we offer the option of storing a "cookie" on your computer for you to eat whenever you feel a bit hungry.

2.2 - Additional information may be gathered without your knowledge, such as Biography, Location, Interests, inside leg measurement, favourite colour, whether or not you like Britney Spears and Occupation. All information is discussed openly between the staff and is often laughed about, and measures are in place to prevent access to, misuse and dissemination of the information we hold about you by unauthorised personnel. Your information is kept confidential at all times and will only be surrendered to authorities or police if we find out you like Britney Spears.

Opting Out Of Communication

3.1 - You may not opt out of receiving spam from us. Information may be removed from your member account for no reason or it may be altered to make it sound funny without your request, but your member account will not be deleted for security reasons and future accountability should we need to hunt you down and shoot you like a dog.

COPPA Policy

4.1 - In accordance with the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act of 1998 (COPPA), we do not accept registrations from individuals under the age of 1. We apologise for any inconvenience to toddlers.

Posting Links / Advertisements

5.1 - Please note that advertisements, chain letters, pyramid schemes, and solicitations are great fun. But we don't want them here. Please also note that this message board is a hotbed of spam and one-post-wonders. People wanting solely to advertise their web site or products will have their membership upgraded to Moderator status for a minimum of three months.

5.2 - While we welcome the broadcasting of additional and relevant resources, we will not tolerate blatant web site advertising. Such posts we deem fall into this category will be removed and appropriate action taken (FBI again). Site owners who contribute to our community with more than 100 qualitative posts (and we have a scale by which we work out what's qualitative and what's not) are begrudgingly welcome to link to their web site and/or additional resources on www.tombraiderforums.com in our Fan Forum.

5.3 - Members must reach a minimum of 100 qualitative posts on our forum in accordance with our Terms & Conditions and have an account active for more than 30 days before anyone will take them seriously.

5.4 - When referencing products or services on our forum, members are advised to link to the front page of any online store and not the product page. This rule can be completely ignored.

Censoring

6.1 - Our software randomly censors explicit or offensive words, words like ****, ***, ***** and ****. Please do not attempt to get clever and circumvent our censor. Some web site domains have been black-listed for violations of our Terms and Conditions. Please do not attempt to circumvent our censor should a domain name you have attempted to reference be removed or replaced by asterisks in your post. All inquiries may be directed to staff via our PM system, though a reply is not guaranteed (they never are).

Spam Policy

7.1 - www.tombraiderforums.com operates a strict spam-a-lot policy. Members impersonating Monty Python will have their posts removed and their membership revoked for a specified period of time. Persistent offenders will be asked to bring a shrubbery.

7.2 - This forum has features which enable members to both edit their own posts in order to add commentary, and to quote multiple posts in one reply. Feel free to not use these features.

Copyright Policy

8.1 - Please do not post material you do not own without the permission of the author. By posting material on our forum, you are agreeing that you either own the item you are posting or you have simply nicked it from the net somewhere like everyone else does. Please do not post illegal material on our forum, or material which contravenes international piracy laws.

Free Media Policy

9.1 - Our free media policy applies to all forms of copyright-exempt digital media. Non-exclusive, copyright-exempt media doctored and posted and/or referenced on our forum for the purpose of web site promotion will be removed, and those responsible will have their teeth smashed out with a toffee hammer. This also applies to fan-created content. Tomb Raider Forums has been setting an example to the Tomb Raider community for almost five years. We're the shizz and we want it to stay that way. We hope this new initiative will create a more accessible and free environment for the trade and broadcast of information and media dedicated to the Lara Croft Tomb Raider series.

Signatures and Avatars

10.1 - 'Signatures' contain information at the bottom of all your posts that individual members consider to be 'funny' or 'clever'. They must be text-based, one line and no more funny than being beaten to death with the rotting carcass of your own granny. 'Avatars' are small images that people use to identify or distinguish themselves from other forum members. Avatars appear under your Member Name on all posts made on our forum and serve no more purpose than to slow the forum down a little. To submit an avatar, please see this thread (http://www.tombraiderforums.com/showthread.php?t=127590).

Legal Statement

11.1 - To reiterate rule 1.2, www.tombraiderforums.com, it's owners and/or operators take no responsibility for the content, links to or use of the content of the messages posted on this forum, nor do we endorse the opinions of the authors. We cannot stress enough how you remain solely responsible for the content of your messages, and you agree to indemnify and hold harmless www.tombraiderforums.com and their agents with respect to any claim based upon transmission of your message(s). In simple terms, we'll blame you if you say anything on here that gets you into trouble.

11.2 - The staff at www.tombraiderforums.com reserve the right to do whatever they want for any or no reason whatsoever. We also reserve the right to disable any member account for any or no reason whatsoever. Even just for a laugh.

11.3- Message boards are a dynamic entity (whatever that means). www.tombraiderforums.com reserves the right to change or alter anything at any time and an administrator’s word is final. It is also dependent on what mood they're in.

tomblover
12-06-09, 09:25
1.1 - Registration to www.tombraiderforums.com (http://www.tombraiderforums.com) is free, sadly. We do not insist that you abide by the rules and policies detailed below. If you do not agree to the terms and wish to join our community, please check the 'I don't agree but want to register anyway' checkbox and press the 'Register' button on the Forum Summary Page (http://www.tombraiderforums.com). If you actually insist on following the rules, check the 'I agree' checkbox instead. Loser.

1.2 - The administrators and moderators of www.tombraiderforums.com (http://www.tombraiderforums.com) are not allowed any real life and will keep all objectionable messages off this forum, it is, contrary to popular belief, possible for them to review all messages. Most messages express the views of the author, and neither the owners of www.tombraiderforums.com (http://www.tombraiderforums.com), nor Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. (developers of vBulletin) will be held responsible for the content of any message. Nothing is our fault. Period.

1.3 - By agreeing to these rules, you warrant that you will not post any messages that are offensive, (in other words, flamewars) derogatory, (in other words, stealing, hey, even forum owners who write FAQs have to use Wiktionary!) obscene, (In other words, fun) vulgar, (In other words, porn) sexually-oriented, (In other words, porn) hateful, (In other words, racist) threatening, (Only moderators or administrators may do this) or otherwise violative of any laws. www.tombraiderforums.com (http://www.tombraiderforums.com) is essentially a video-game forum with content geared to the video-games industry, in particular the Tomb Raider series. However that doesn't stop the various unofficial threads about Britney or GaGa, or stupid games in the General Chat section. Our forum is predominately populated by younger members, and we therefore request members to have at least one comment patronising someone, preferably a moderator, in every post. We have an additional forum for "mature" members over the age of eighteen, who might feel the need to discuss religion, politics and other boring stuff...

1.4 One individual human being is permitted to register one single account on Tomb Raider Forums. Members who register additional accounts on Tomb Raider Forums will have his or her rank upgraded to "Ambidextrous Freak", for their ability to manage two or more accounts at the same time.

Privacy Statement
2.1 - In order to gain membership to www.tombraiderforums.com (http://www.tombraiderforums.com), we require a valid email address to send spam, and a valid date of birth so we can uneffectively lock out the youngsters. We record this email address to your member profile, along with your IP address at time of registration, and send this info to your mother, so she can scold you for not having real friends. We require you to enter your date of birth to determine whether or not you are a COPPA user, even though this is completely useless. We record your IP address each time you browse or post on our forum, in case you want to lure us with a dynamic IP. For registered members, we offer the option of storing a virus file on your personal computer so that you will remain logged in for eternity.

2.2 - Additional information such as Biography, Location, Interests and Occupation is required in order to become a member of our forum. All information is not at all kept confidential. It will, however, not be surrendered to authorities or police if you got your sorry ass into any legal investigation. But we want half.

Opting Out Of Communication
3.1 - You may certainly not opt out of receiving communications from us by selecting the appropriate option in Your Profile. If this action is taken, you will be forever banned and we will send the dork-sideds on you. Information cannot be removed from your member account and your member account must contain correct info. Your mother will be the truth measurer, under threats. Your member account will be deleted for security reasons if tlr manages to get his pingu butt into a mess and you are involved, or if Neteru (Or Gabi, for that matter) is annoyed with you.

COPPA Policy
4.1 - In accordance with the Children's Online Pedophilia Encouragement Act of 1998 (COPPA), we do not accept registrations from individuals over the age of 13. We apologise for any inconvenience.

Posting Links / Advertisements

5.1 - Please note that advertisements, chain letters, pyramid schemes, and solicitations are fun to read on www.tombraiderforums.com (http://www.tombraiderforums.com), on account of all the answers this bot gets. Please also note that this message board is an FFA Links Site. One-post-wonders wanting solely to advertise their web site or products will have their membership made unbannable and their posts will be stickied and put on top of the board index. Domain names posted will also be stickied and put as ads everywhere around the forum.
5.2 - While we don't welcome the broadcasting of additional and relevant resources, we will tolerate blatant web site advertising. Such posts we deem fall into this category will be stickied and appropriate action taken, as seen above. Site owners who contribute to our community with more than 100 qualitative posts are losers and not welcome to link to their web site and/or additional resources on www.tombraiderforums.com (http://www.tombraiderforums.com).

5.3 - Members must reach a minimum of no posts on our forum in accordance with our Terms & Conditions and have an account active for more than 1 second before being permitted to post web site links on our forum.

5.4 - When referencing products or services on our forum, members are advised to link to the product page and not the front page, to prevent more clicking than neccesary to be done. This avoids the risk of finger damage to our users.

Censoring
6.1 - Our software automatically censors explicit or offensive words, like words making fun of our Lord, or words beginning with a d, like **** or ****. Fook, pizz, sheet, cu next tuesday and other words, are welcome. Please do not attempt to circumvent our censor, or action will be taken. Some web site domains such as the FBI and the CIA's homepages have been black-listed for violations of our Terms and Conditions. Please do not attempt to circumvent our censor should a domain name you have attempted to reference be removed or replaced by asterisks in your post. Do not send any inquiries to the staff via our PM system.

Spam Policy
7.1 - www.tombraiderforums.com (http://www.tombraiderforums.com) operates a strict always-spam policy. Members spamming our forum with frivolous and/or duplicate posts will have their posts stickied and put on the top of the forum index, and their membership made unbannable for an eternity. Persistent offenders will replace tlr online.

7.2 - This forum has features which enable members to both edit their own posts in order to add commentary, and to quote multiple posts in one reply. Success to make use of these features by persistent single posting, that is, posting multiple times in a single thread with another member doing so in the meantime, may be deemed as sane posting, and users employing this type of posting will be banned...

Copyright Policy
8.1 - Please do post material you do not own without the permission of the author. By posting material on our forum, you are agreeing that you don't own the item you are posting and that you have simply stolen it off Pirate Bay, arr! Please do post illegal material on our forum, or material which contravenes international piracy laws. Not helping people who want to circumvent the CD check in TR games will have their accounts disabled permanently.

Free Media Policy
9.1 - Our free media policy sucks.

Signatures and Avatars
10.1 - 'Signatures' contain information that you want to include at the bottom of all your posts. They must NOT be text-based, only images of ridiculous size are allowed. 'Avatars' are small images that people use to identify or distinguish themselves from other forum members, unique fookers. Avatars appear under your Member Name on all posts made on our forum. To submit an avatar, please see this thread (http://www.tombraiderforums.com/showthread.php?t=127590).

Legal Statement
11.1 - www.tombraiderforums.com (http://www.tombraiderforums.com), it's owners and/or operators take no responsibility for anything, ever. End of discussion.

11.2- Message boards are a dynamic entity, actually! www.tombraiderforums.com (http://www.tombraiderforums.com) reserves the right to change or alter these rules at any time and tlr online's, or Neteru's word is final. And Gabi's, of course.

Finally...
Please don't our New Member Introductions, Birthdays and Congratulations (http://www.tombraiderforums.com/forumdisplay.php?f=19) forum to let us know you're here. Use the General Chat section to begin spamming the moment you join, instead. Thank you for choosing to be part of our screwed up community.
We hope you leave soon, you fooking n00b.


Whee, that was uber fun. :vlol:

Your_Envy*
12-06-09, 09:58
Legend of Lara - :vlol: That is EPIC WIN! :vlol:

Johnnay
12-06-09, 11:20
Whats ALT+F4 do?


in theory the alt+f4 command is specifically designed to **** you up. now if i may say if you use alt+f4 while using TRF you would ESC+Ctrl yourself down Natlas hellish Mines. you'll then be Alt+Tabbed in hellheim describing yourself as someone who can be a troll while trying to drink eitr. then press Alt+F5 in unecessary conditions to go back home

understood thats what your answer meant

HAHAHAHAHAAHAH

no....... it closes the windows and eventually your computer would die:D

Croft, Lara
14-06-09, 11:26
I know it's not Terms and Conditions but it's distantly related to it and I didn't want to start a new thread over it.

Rules of Life

1) If it exists, there's a porn version.

Johnnay
14-06-09, 11:42
I know it's not Terms and Conditions but it's distantly related to it and I didn't want to start a new thread over it.

Rules of Life

1) If it exists, there's a porn version.

hey croft lara someone in this thread wrote something funny about you :vlol:
just to let you know

Croft, Lara
14-06-09, 11:49
hey croft lara someone in this thread wrote something funny about you :vlol:
just to let you know

What? Who? WHERE? I'll bite them with my teeths!!

Johnnay
14-06-09, 11:59
This....... By Spikejones. For Croft Lara


addendum:

-All members are hereby instructed to send email bombs followed by denial of service attacks to Croft, Lara. Refusal to do as instructed is punishable by the aforementioned punishment for posting in a manner which is unacceptable. In effect, by adhering to the new guidelines, you will be saving your own life while contributing to the nuclear force explosion of Croft, Lara's CPU, as she would no longer be connected to the TRF detenction facility's server. We here at TRF detention facility believe that this is the only surefire way to prevent unnecessary spammage of the forums. By eliminating the life force of those who dare transgress, it is assured that they can never again tick us off.

Croft, Lara
14-06-09, 12:01
For Starters I AM A HE!

SECONDLY....LOL! This is hilarious!

Johnnay
14-06-09, 12:09
What's next revenge attacks

yeh I know it's hillarious haha

Legend of Lara
14-06-09, 12:33
I know it's not Terms and Conditions but it's distantly related to it and I didn't want to start a new thread over it.

Rules of Life

1) If it exists, there's a porn version.

Isn't that rule 34? :p

2kool4u
14-06-09, 17:35
XDDDDDDDDDD!!!!^
I recently heard about that and i was like wait what :vlol:!

Tjw croft
15-06-09, 01:19
it is, and ironically only half true. (Someone searched. I don't do that)

tlr online
16-06-09, 07:15
And now to find a winner. :tmb:

Johnnay
16-06-09, 07:32
and who is it