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View Full Version : Are You Image Conscious?


patriots88888
24-09-09, 05:48
I'm not asking as much about physical appearance as I am about personality traits. Does it matter to you what others might think of/about you? Do you feel it's of upmost importance for you to 'fit in' with the crowd and be accepted in certain social groups (even to the point where you 'pretend to be somebody' you really aren't by displaying 'fake' characteristics)? Or do you basically just 'go with the flow' and be your own person, never compromising who you really are and what you're all about?

Yea, I know. Kitty must be really bored again, just curious. :p

I've always believed that while it's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice! ;) And true to yourself! :) Just for the record, I'm not insinuating anything by that either. ;)

lara croft TR
24-09-09, 06:36
I don't really care what other people think about me ... Does this make me arrognat??? :confused:
Anyway ... I think that being yourself is important and if someone dosen't accept you as you are they're not your friends... That's why I have just a few friends - because i'm the odd one ...

Mokono
24-09-09, 07:02
Does it matter to you what others might think of/about you?

It always matters depending on the circumstances. I wouldn't mind if they think i'm lazy or boring, but i would mind if they think i'm a murder or something worse. It also depends on "who" is thinking; i mean, if it's a random bunch of people in the street, then i wouldn't mind about the fugacious image they may constitute from me. However, if it's a special crowd i'm offering an exposition to, then i would care about my presentation and the image they're getting from me. If "what they say" wasn't important at all, there wouldn't be a law against defamation.

Do you feel it's of upmost importance for you to 'fit in' with the crowd and be accepted in certain social groups...

Humans are social animals... We need a "crowd" to survive mentally stabilized (unless we're some sort of seclusive monk or someone that superimposes the "self" above the society to the point we become aloof).

(even to the point where you 'pretend to be somebody' you really aren't by displaying 'fake' characteristics)?

That's the problem. There's no point on being fake to fit if the image that's supposed to be accepted contradicts the person who displays it, unless someone has very little reflexion about what is doing. What's the prize of that acceptance if the person liked is not even it's real self?

Or do you basically just 'go with the flow' and be your own person, never compromising who you really are and what you're all about?

'Going with the flaw' as it is, without having any remorse for what is done and reproducing every thought made in response to an stimulus without thinking it twice, is kinda dangerous. Our decitions shouldn't be influenced by others at a full extent, but that doesn't mean we can trespass people's rights to satisfy our free will.

The question to be asked here is "who we are" actually and how much of that identity matches or contradicts society's values.

Yea, I know. Kitty must be really bored again, just curious. :p

It's interesting actually... And sorry for splitting your post :p.

I've always believed that while it's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice! ;) And true to yourself! :) Just for the record, I'm not insinuating anything by that either. ;)

Why not? It's quite a good advice ;).

Changeling
24-09-09, 07:07
I think it's very important to be yourself. A certain someone recently told me that they really like me, and that part of that reason was because I was my own person and stood out from most people. Flattering, and also something which made me feel special. :D If I had just conformed to the way that most teenage boys are nowadays then they would've never noticed that side of me, and I would've been a different person.

I'm very loud, spontaneous and instinctive. I get many weird stares from people who aren't my friends, but that's how I roll. :p I don't care what those people think, but if it starts to affect my friends' opinion on me then I will most definitely listen to what they have to say.

patriots88888
24-09-09, 07:51
It always matters depending on the circumstances. I wouldn't mind if they think i'm lazy or boring, but i would mind if they think i'm a murder or something worse. It also depends on "who" is thinking; i mean, if it's a random bunch of people in the street, then i wouldn't mind about the fugacious image they may constitute from me. However, if it's a special crowd i'm offering an exposition to, then i would care about my presentation and the image they're getting from me. If "what they say" wasn't important at all, there wouldn't be a law against defamation.

I agree for the most part and sorry about being very 'vanilla' with the manner in which I posed that question. I was actually asking more along the lines of, 'within casual social settings' amongst your peers such as school functions, parties, etc...


Humans are social animals... We need a "crowd" to survive mentally stabilized (unless we're some sort of seclusive monk or someone that superimposes the "self" above the society to the point we become aloof).

Again I agree, but to what extent do we seek this social fullfillment and acceptance?, is the what I'm after here.

That's the problem. There's no point on being fake to fit if the image that's supposed to be accepted contradicts the person who displays it, unless someone has very little reflexion about what is doing. What's the prize of that acceptance if the person liked is not even it's real self?

Couldn't agree more with you on that. It seems more than ever we have become very image conscious as a society. It's no wonder, considering all the media outlets (television, cinema, internet) which display this very thing and type of behavior. The perception of others and dare I say, (yes the P word), popularity weigh heavily upon us (esp. teens) in today's society.

'Going with the flaw' as it is, without having any remorse for what is done and reproducing every thought made in response to an stimulus without thinking it twice, is kinda dangerous. Our decitions shouldn't be influenced by others at a full extent, but that doesn't mean we can trespass people's rights to satisfy our free will.

Yup, but again I think I may have been too general about how I phrased that. I was more or less meaning what others think about you in a purely social sense in a whimsical kinda way. In other words, 'if they like me for who I am then great, if not, so be it'.

The question to be asked here is "who we are" actually and how much of that identity matches or contradicts society's values.

Ah, I see you are getting much deeper about this than I had intended. It's an interesting question and something to be considered.

It's interesting actually... And sorry for splitting your post :p.

No problemo! ;)

Why not? It's quite a good advice ;).

Thanks, just something I've always felt very strongly about. I'd be lying if I said that during my teen years when peer pressure is at an all time high that I didn't 'try my best' to get that social acceptance from others. Although I pretty much stayed true to who I was, I did at times compromise a little to better fit in sometimes. :o Didn't want to come across as a hypocrite. ;)

sheepydee
24-09-09, 08:49
Well... i do try to be myself.. and i dont try to 'fit' in , thats jut not me :p , i just stay with my 3 person group and were all different in our own ways.. XD

Punaxe
24-09-09, 09:28
I'd like to think I always remain myself. This 'self' has changed over the years, but never artifically or forced. I do like social contact but the problem with my current self is that, while I can get along very well with everyone, it never really comes to much more than that. I seem to mostly require a rare kind of contact that most people are either not interested in or not capable of.
I suppose if I changed my ways I'd have more social contact, but it would be different social contact, which I am not interested in. So 'faking it' or 'going with the flow' is, to expand on what Mokono said, not only deceiving others but also getting yourself nowhere good. Perhaps in general we can say that the more one differs from 'society', the more one may be tempted to adapt, but the more worthy the battle is not to give in.

(...) The question to be asked here is "who we are" actually and how much of that identity matches or contradicts society's values. (...)

'Who we are' is of course nearly impossible to answer, as the answer becomes known to ourselves only by countless individual decisions and not by a set definition. In my case my interests and graveness don't seem to be shared much by others; while they do not contradict any values many would probably think them to be weird or misplaced. But I feel I have a strong individual identity, and having a strong identity is part of that identity, so giving in to 'the flow' would be quite a violation of what I am.

violentblossom
24-09-09, 12:47
I care about my appearance and I like being attractive and so I try to keep that up, but personality is another thing all together.

As far as that goes, if people just don't like me, then that's fine, I can respect that but it doesn't really bother me any. I am who I am and I'm secure enough with myself on the inside that I don't really let peoples' disliking me sway my self confidence.

Reggie
24-09-09, 12:56
I have the same outlook as the others who have posted here but I acknowledge that I do actually change at least in subtle ways depending on who I'm with. For example, when I'm with my grandparents, I don't express my 'liberal' views and I never ever swear which is different from when I'm releaxing with like-minded friends who are my age. I could probably pick out many more nuances in my social interactions and how I put myself across to others but despite all the social tact and occassional ommissions I make about myself, fundamentally I've always been the same and I have no desire to change that about myself because I think it is one's biggest asset to be confident and sure enough in yourself to be content and happy. In other words, people who fake it are usually pretty miserable and self-loathing inside.

Ikas90
24-09-09, 13:48
I don't really care about what people think of me, as long as I do what I feel in my heart is right. :)

Ilie_Fusarau
24-09-09, 13:49
I don't really care what other people think about me ... Does this make me arrognat??? :confused:
Anyway ... I think that being yourself is important and if someone dosen't accept you as you are they're not your friends... That's why I have just a few friends - because i'm the odd one ...
Same :hug:

xx_Hunt_xx
24-09-09, 14:13
Nope im me, and dont really care what others think.
Hate idea of being fake just to please others.
Dont get why people would change, because its not who they are.

]{eith
24-09-09, 14:16
I think it's abundantly clear I couldn't give a **** what others think of me. :p
If people like me, that's great, but if they don't, I don't care. Actually sometimes I do like it when people don't like me because it's often fun. :p

woody543
24-09-09, 14:19
There was a time a couple of years ago, when I was being very badly bullied in school, and everyone either hated me or wouldn't asociate themselves with me. And so I did change, I tried to become someone else, and fit in. Which in some effect worked, but after some time, it didn't work, and I went back to being hated.

Looking back on it now, I really wish I hadn't and to quote V for Vendetta "You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you are underneath" and that's what had happened, I had changed and I didn't know who I was before, and had become a different person, which really effected my life. I'm not going to go into details, but I regretted it.

Now I have a different view, whilst I am still very self conscious, which is something I feel is built into me, and I cannot help, I feel it doesn't effect me as much. And I learn to live with it.

xXhayleyroxXx
24-09-09, 15:10
i want people to respect me and think i am a nice, approachable person. If they dont fair do's.

I live the way i want :p I wear clothes I like, regardless what people will say and do what feels comfortable for me

Mokono
24-09-09, 16:10
Thanks, just something I've always felt very strongly about. I'd be lying if I said that during my teen years when peer pressure is at an all time high that I didn't 'try my best' to get that social acceptance from others. Although I pretty much stayed true to who I was, I did at times compromise a little to better fit in sometimes. :o Didn't want to come across as a hypocrite. ;)

Well, if we're talking about teenage, then social acceptance is becomes actually part of the teen-universe important things. It helps to develop our personalities and the way we relate to others, not to mention the self-esteem; however, the importance of it morphs according to our interests. I remember something happened when i was 13 and i was dumped from the popular kids group, and i wanted them back, but finally gave up that year. However, my reclusive stage didn't last that much, because next year things went back to normal... Sometimes we just don't know if there's a special recipe for that acceptance, but keeping ourselves true to who we are helps a lot.

What you said about peer pressure is something i never experimented myself at a fully extent; i mean, when i had the left-out trouble i didn't think i had to meet certain conditions in orther to be re-accepted by my old friends; hence, my reclusive attitude back then... However, the peer pressure might have make some of them do what they did. In one occasion i confronted the problem with some of them, but the change was minimal.

I found out what really happened a year after that, and it helped me to choose my closest friends from the group (the ones that tried their best to fight the pressure and get me back). During my reclusive stage i was still being myself (being the way i liked without turning dramatic or anything)... I just seem to have developed a lack of care towards "what's going on with the wave".

And just as a footnote: Te way we used to behave back then hardly matches the stereotype of cliques displayed by TV Shows and Movies. Groups are not that heterogeneous in a school where uniform must be wore the propper way (washing away fashion individuality and the possibility to conform groups according styles), and the popular kids weren't really mean and controlative as usually displayed, but they did have a great influence back then. The funny thing is that the influence is developed by those who feel dependant of their attention. Without attention, popularity doesn't exists.

peeves
24-09-09, 16:20
Why don't we get a social group for cats?

irjudd
24-09-09, 16:21
Why don't we get a social group for cats?
Cats are notorious for looking for porno, so it would turn out bad.

sheepydee
24-09-09, 16:21
^ why is that even in here