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LaraLuvrrr
19-10-09, 01:53
What's your preference when it comes to commitment?

Are you more likely to want to commit and be in a relationship or are you more of the type that doesn't ever wanna commit?




I'm just curious cuz I've seen both types and I'm like why do some people wanna get into relationships and settle down and others just wanna be independent and just fool around?

So yea I'm just curious to see what the majority of you prefer

Spong
19-10-09, 01:57
I'm not the type who wants to "be independent and just fool around", but at the same time I'd say it all depends on your definition of commitment. I'd happily spend my life with the person I truly loved.

LaraLuvrrr
19-10-09, 02:00
I'm not the type who wants to "be independent and just fool around", but at the same time I'd say it all depends on your definition of commitment. I'd happily spend my life with the person I truly loved.

I guess by commitment I mean monogamy. Like getting into a relationship with someone not necessarily for life but in a monogamous relationship. As opposed to those that prefer to just flirt around and sleep around and never really commit to being in a relationship.

Spong
19-10-09, 02:10
Call me a grizzled old traditionalist but I'm monogamous, certainly in the few relationships I've had anyway. I see it as a fundamental cornerstone.

In that respect, I'm definitely the committing type then.

irjudd
19-10-09, 02:17
So yea I'm just curious to see what the majority of you prefer

It would be easier to glean a majority/minority with a poll. You ought to request it.

LaraLuvrrr
19-10-09, 03:01
It would be easier to glean a majority/minority with a poll. You ought to request it.

How do I do that? lol im not 100% forum literate

Quasimodo
19-10-09, 03:03
How do I do that? lol im not 100% forum literate

Spam a mod's profile demanding they set up a poll for you.


I mean PM one and ask nicely.

Draco
19-10-09, 03:04
I can go either way on it. I guess it really depends what the relationship is actually like.

Jo269976
19-10-09, 03:42
With the current relationship I'm in, definetly commitment. :tmb:

Melonie Tomb Raider
19-10-09, 05:42
I'm not the type that is looking for nothing more than a good time. Dating is meant for finding a spouse in my book, so if you're not willing to commit, you shouldn't be ready to date.

Librarian
19-10-09, 06:00
I'm not the type that is looking for nothing more than a good time. Dating is meant for finding a spouse in my book, so if you're not willing to commit, you shouldn't be ready to date.

That's a little serious for me. Dating to me can be for other things; company, fun, even a learning experience. And sure, I'm monogamous (and expect my partner to be), and committed to at least a short-term (less than 3 years in my book) relationship. When that time is up, the commitment can be re-thought.

Put it this way I guess. I'm committed to my relationship, and will likely be committed to other relationships in the future, but aren't looking for any kind of life-long relationship.

I feel like my post doesn't make sense :o oh well.

Melonie Tomb Raider
19-10-09, 06:19
My opinion is that if you're just looking for company or fun, find a friend, not a date.

If you're not looking for something serious, you shouldn't put someone in that position to get their heart broken. Unless you're the type who just wants a good time, then go for it, as long as whoever you are with has a clear understanding of your intentions.

I'm not saying everyone is like me, because that's certainly not the case. I don't sleep around or look to have a "good time". At this point, I'm living my life single, and am very content with that. If I feel like I'm ready for marriage, that's when I'll date, but until then, I'm not going to waste my time or anyone else's.

Draco
19-10-09, 06:42
Date or don't really, if marriage is in the cards, it will happen regardless of what your dating life is like.

Ikas90
19-10-09, 07:32
I wouldn't want to committ to someone unless I could fully trust them. If we both like each other, and want to be together, I expect committment.

Nothing wrong with going out with a friend though. I'm all for that. In the long run, friends are much more important. They will be by your side forever (or at least for much longer than a lover will be). That's why, sometimes it's hard to want to go further with something. If I liked a girl, and wouldn't want to risk losing her as a really good friend, then I don't think I would want to committ to anything further.

I have plenty of "girl" friends who mean a lot to me. Sure I might have had desires to date a few, but if I truly love them and don't want to lose them as friends, then friends we shall stay.

Chocola teapot
19-10-09, 08:47
Computer says....
















No.

Psychos'Я'Us
19-10-09, 12:09
Dating = hot one night stands in my book :mis:
And I would rather not commit, too boring for me. I mean, I'm sure I could pull it off for a week but after that I would probably get bored of it.

TRhalloween
19-10-09, 12:21
Committed relationship for me.

da tomb raider!
19-10-09, 12:24
As far as any romatic relationship is concerned, commitment is always must for me. I date with the intention of growing exclusively close to whomever I'm dating with, and marrige is always on the cards. Of course, sometimes my relationships just don't work out, so I naturally move on from them, but unless I've clearly broken up with someone, I wouldn't dream of starting a new relationship.

Admles
19-10-09, 12:34
Dating becomes a committment for me eventually, if it's the right person, but dating is not about marriage.

There is no time-frame set for that committment - I may not be interested in marrying someone for 5 months or 5 years.

MiCkiZ88
19-10-09, 12:36
Commitment. Been in a relationship for 1.5 years (my first official relationship) and even though it might be tough at times, I still want to keep going on and develop the relationship further. Through the good times and the bad. I've had a one night stand, and to me it was an horrible experience. Without love it didn't feel right.

rowanlim
19-10-09, 13:54
I would commit to a relationship. With that, I suppose I am not finding anyone ATM because my life as a single person is very hectic as it is, if I were to date someone now, I wouldn't be fair to either of us.

I think dating is a learning experience. If you date the guy you'll marry, then that's a wonderful thing. If the guy you date isn't the one, then learn from the relationship to be a better person not just for yourself but for your future spouse; the best way to learn about being a partner is to BE a partner. You'll learn the nuances of a relationship, how to listen to the other person etc.

violentblossom
19-10-09, 14:03
My opinion is that if you're just looking for company or fun, find a friend, not a date.

If you're not looking for something serious, you shouldn't put someone in that position to get their heart broken. Unless you're the type who just wants a good time, then go for it, as long as whoever you are with has a clear understanding of your intentions.

I'm not saying everyone is like me, because that's certainly not the case. I don't sleep around or look to have a "good time". At this point, I'm living my life single, and am very content with that. If I feel like I'm ready for marriage, that's when I'll date, but until then, I'm not going to waste my time or anyone else's.

That's kind of intense and a little ridiculous. Not everyone dates to sleep around. Sometimes you need to feel people out or at least figure out what you honestly want. You may think you want something until you see what that something is really like.

Wanting manogamy and marriage is fine, but those things are pretty unusual these days period, let alone while we are young.

People should find themselves before they attempt to look for lifetime love.

]{eith
19-10-09, 14:11
Computer says....
















No.

*cough*


Anyway, I'm the committing type if it's a real relationship. But who has time for that? :rolleyes: But seriously, somewhere down the line I would love to be in a monogamous relationship but for now, I just want to meet people and take things easy. I've no agenda and I doubt I ever will.

rowanlim
19-10-09, 14:15
People should find themselves before they attempt to look for lifetime love.

I agree with this sentence. I suppose if one doesn't know him/herself well enough, he/she can't really be sure if he/she is ready for marriage. Of course if you're sure & completely know yourself inside out, then that's an entirely different story.

Rai
19-10-09, 14:16
I am definitely monogamous when in a relationship and I will commit and expect commitment in return when I love someone.

Of course you can never tell where the relationship is headed in the very beginning and not all relationships work out, but for me, I go into something with commitment in mind.

Lara Croft!
19-10-09, 14:23
I'm the type who always wanted to commit. At the past, I hadn't met someone interesting enough, so I had few and short relationships. I am now in a deeply committed relationship, and it's more than I ever hoped for.

disneyprincess20
19-10-09, 14:26
I'm a committer. I have to be to get married!

Lavinder
19-10-09, 14:30
I'm completely committed - I'll only ever be with one person at one time. Although I do feel less committed to females :).

adventurerLara
19-10-09, 15:33
Well there's commited and then there's commited. If you get what I mean.

irjudd
19-10-09, 15:37
... friends are much more important. They will be by your side forever (or at least for much longer than a lover will be). That's why, sometimes it's hard to want to go further with something. If I liked a girl, and wouldn't want to risk losing her as a really good friend, then I don't think I would want to committ to anything further...I'll disagree with that. I think the person you choose to establish a serious relationship/commitment with should be your best friend first, and continue to be your best friend.

That's kind of intense and a little ridiculous. Not everyone dates to sleep around. Sometimes you need to feel people out or at least figure out what you honestly want. You may think you want something until you see what that something is really like.

Wanting manogamy and marriage is fine, but those things are pretty unusual these days period, let alone while we are young.

People should find themselves before they attempt to look for lifetime love.It looks to me like Melonie is basically saying that dating is that "feeling out" you talk about, in order to establish that this person is someone you'd want to commit yourself to, in contrast with dating people without any intentions of seeking a long lasting relationship. And if that's the case, I agree with her sentiments about it.

violentblossom
19-10-09, 15:43
I'll disagree with that. I think the person you choose to establish a serious relationship/commitment with should be your best friend first, and continue to be your best friend.

It looks to me like Melonie is basically saying that dating is that "feeling out" you talk about, in order to establish that this person is someone you'd want to commit yourself to, in contrast with dating people without any intentions of seeking a long lasting relationship. And if that's the case, I agree with her sentiments about it.

I'm not completely disagreeing with her, I just don't agree with going into dating saying, "I'm going to find the one this way." It may just be her wording throwing me off.

irjudd
19-10-09, 16:00
I'm not completely disagreeing with her, I just don't agree with going into dating saying, "I'm going to find the one this way." It may just be her wording throwing me off.
So for the sake of understanding where you're coming from, what do you feel is the difference between dating someone and "hanging out a lot" with someone? And also, what method do you "find the one"?

Marianna12
19-10-09, 16:00
Commited! I don't see the point of just fooling around and 'having fun'. IMO

Chocola teapot
19-10-09, 16:03
And Be someones Byutch for the rest of my life?
Na-uh!

violentblossom
19-10-09, 16:07
So for the sake of understanding where you're coming from, what do you feel is the difference between dating someone and "hanging out a lot" with someone? And also, what method do you "find the one"?

I guess intentions and the things done with said person.

It typically takes me a while to look at someone as possible romantic material, even if attraction is there. I dunno. If I don't find this person's ideals to be so close to mine, or if I don't like certain behaviors, then they'll sort of fall over into a friendship category without me intentionally placing them there.

And I didn't go looking for "The One" (if that is who he is, in fact). I don't think people should do this.. I think that people should let things naturally evolve on their own terms.

I don't get how some people can look at a stranger and think, "I'm going to marry that guy/girl".

Draco
19-10-09, 16:21
Commited! I don't see the point of just fooling around and 'having fun'. IMO

People generally 'have fun' because its...fun. But not everyone wants the same things from a relationship.

xx_Hunt_xx
19-10-09, 17:38
Commited realtionship. :)
But as im single at the moment, im having fun on my own.
If right person comes along id rather it be a commited realtionship though.

Ada the Mental
19-10-09, 17:53
Definitely commit. I am perfectly happy being single, so I'd only go for the real thing. Wasting my time and opening up to losers isn't exactly my idea of fun, anyway. I dislike the idea of random hook-ups and one-night-stands because I'm way too proud to be someone's way of having "fun" for one night. Not saying it's wrong for people to do this, mind you, just not my cup of tea. :p)

That being said, marriage is definitely not a goal for me. Only if I ever find someone I truly consider a soulmate, and even then, I think I'd be happy to just be with him.

I don't know...I think that getting into a relationship with marriage in mind as the only possible outcome shows that you care more about getting married than anything else. "Oh, my God, it's been TWO YEARS and he hasn't proposed, DU-HUMPED!" O_o

I don't get how some people can look at a stranger and think, "I'm going to marry that guy/girl".
This. I'd have to be with someone for years, and I mean years, before making such a drastic decision.

Catapharact
19-10-09, 17:56
I find it odd that the so called "flingers" group would love to point out the flaws in a monogomous relationship these days and yet when a person points out the flaws in a "nothing serious; Just fun" relationships, people are quick to jump on the "Whatever works for them" train.

Well monogomy goes hand in hand with responsibility, commitment and at a partnership oriented mind. IMO the general idea that has been drilled in everyone's heads (or in the minds of the forum members on this board anyway) that entering a monogomous relationship means loss of freedom. Ah, I personally beg to differ. For a guy who never really had a taste for meaningless flings, I would have gladly been single rather then go about randomly engaging in dating, or sexual relationships. Heck I can verily say that I would have hated myself if I did anything like that.

Lara's home
19-10-09, 18:02
I prefer being independant. Too much tires me. In a little serious relationship now. Can't say I like it.
Fooling around is much more fun.

jackles
19-10-09, 18:03
I liked being in relationships. I like being part of a supportive team. I have had casual dates and hung out with groups of friends but a committed relationship is more fulfilling and I have fought tooth and nail to make things work rather than give up in the past.

Draco
19-10-09, 18:05
Marriage was invented by men to subjugate women, to bind them so to speak. Monogamy is historically a rare thing for a man, regardless of the religious or social directives.

Now, I'm am not diametrically opposed to marriage except that it is a legal binding at all.

You should be married in your heart in front of your god, not in your file cabinet in front of your district judge.

Surohicko
19-10-09, 18:08
Just know,, I want to be independent all my life :D

Melonie Tomb Raider
19-10-09, 18:09
I'm not completely disagreeing with her, I just don't agree with going into dating saying, "I'm going to find the one this way." It may just be her wording throwing me off.

I suppose we have a different definition of dating. If you're not doing to it see if that person is a possible compatible match for you, then it's just called hanging out or being friends in my book.

It's not a date unless you're considering a possible future or just want someone to fool around with, and I don't fool around, so the definition of dating is pretty clear with me. I refuse to date someone if I see no possibility of a future whatsoever, because I don't lead people on.

NemesisX13X
19-10-09, 18:10
You should be married in your heart in front of your god, not in your file cabinet in front of your district judge.

This.

Encore
19-10-09, 18:11
I never fell in love and at 24 years of age I really gotta plan my future life and I'm planning it to live alone. I don't mind it either so I guess you could say I don't want commitment. But the reality is that I'm not sure what would happen if eventually I fell in love with anyone. But right now, nope.

Draco
19-10-09, 18:12
It's not a date unless you're considering a possible future or just want someone to fool around with, and I don't fool around, so the definition of dating is pretty clear with me. I refuse to date someone if I see no possibility of a future whatsoever, because I don't lead people on.

How do you know there is a potential future if you don't actually have the patience to find out?

You can't know someone instantly enough to make such a decision.

Catapharact
19-10-09, 18:14
I never fell in love and at 24 years of age I really gotta plan my future life and I'm planning it to live alone. I don't mind it either so I guess you could say I don't want commitment. But the reality is that I'm not sure what would happen if eventually I fell in love with anyone. But right now, nope.

My situation was a bit more... Ego driven Lol!

"Love? What a useless weak thing... Partnerships? Bah! I am not supporting some third rate floosy who just wants to do nothing but be a bed maiden."

And then... In comes the good ol brick of love Lol! *Insert song "I am a believer."*

So don't count it out just yet.

Melonie Tomb Raider
19-10-09, 18:34
That's kind of intense and a little ridiculous. Not everyone dates to sleep around. Sometimes you need to feel people out or at least figure out what you honestly want. You may think you want something until you see what that something is really like.

Wanting manogamy and marriage is fine, but those things are pretty unusual these days period, let alone while we are young.

People should find themselves before they attempt to look for lifetime love.

That's exactly what I said, you just worded it different.

You need to find yourself before you even think about finding lifetime love; therefore, don't date someone if you're not looking for love yet.


How do you know there is a potential future if you don't actually have the patience to find out?

You can't know someone instantly enough to make such a decision.

You won't instantly know, but there's always the interest. If you meet a beautiful girl that seems very nice, you may want to start dating her to get to know her better in order to find out if you're compatible and could possibly have a future. I never said it would be instant, "I want a future with that guy/ girl!" Dating is a method of finding out.

Seriously, if that's not your intentions with dating, then you're really not dating, you're just hanging out. Which sounds silly to me, saying you're dating someone when all you're doing is being their friend with nothing more in mind (except for maybe a roll in the sack).

Ada the Mental
19-10-09, 18:37
You should be married in your heart in front of your god, not in your file cabinet in front of your district judge.

This.

Some people are...*GASP* Not religious! :yik:
Wouldn't a religious ceremony be hypocritical?

Draco
19-10-09, 18:44
You won't instantly know, but there's always the interest.

I generally instantly know if I'll like someone or not, but yes, dating can be a means to find out just how compatible you are.

If you meet a beautiful girl that seems very nice, you may want to start dating her to get to know her better in order to find out if you're compatible and could possibly have a future.

Being beautiful and/or nice aren't necessarily the two highest items on my list of priorities, but I understand what you are saying.

I never said it would be instant, "I want a future with that guy/ girl!" Dating is a method of finding out.

You made it sound like you have to know it will work out to keep going, which is the whole point of dating, to find out if it will work out.

Seriously, if that's not your intentions with dating, then you're really not dating, you're just hanging out.

I like being friends with my significant other, dating and hanging out aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. What is important is that you are spending time with them and getting to know them.

Which sounds silly to me, saying you're dating someone when all you're doing is being their friend with nothing more in mind (except for maybe a roll in the sack).

Friends with privileges can be nice. I don't expect you to understand why enough to legitimately disagree, but it can be nice to be intimate with people close to you that aren't also placing relationship level demands on you.

Some lives are easier without the heavy investments that most marriages demand. My current life plan involves a lot of travel and a lot of time away from any place I might have called home, leaving a wife behind every time I walk out the door and drive off would eventually be too hard. Since I'm not the type to expect a women to facilitate my life choices by abandoning hers, I'm already prepared for lifelong bachelorhood.

So, 'casual' relationships might be more my thing for the next few years.

CuteKittenlol
19-10-09, 18:45
Committ. But right now i'm young and just wanna have fun. Obviously i'll take any relationship i have seriously and make it last as long as possible, but im not looking or expecting to find "the one" any time soon XD

EgyptianSoul
19-10-09, 18:59
After years of finding myself and figuring out my inner values I can say I am the type to commit to monogamy. I've been in a serious relationship for many years now.

One night stands have always made me feel dead and rotten inside...

Catapharact
19-10-09, 19:03
One night stands have always made me feel dead and rotten inside...

People these days never try to understand that given POV. The irony of it all is that usually plaster the so called advantages of being single onto other people tend to lable monogomy off as the norm and tend to view their given status as being single with lack of societial understanding.

Melonie Tomb Raider
19-10-09, 19:05
@Draco. I think you're taking some of what I have said out of context. I said dating was a method of finding out if you're compatible, that doesn't mean you have to know you're compatible. If you already knew, dating wouldn't be necessary, just get married. :p

I also think that your love should also be your best friend, but I don't think they should be your friend and nothing more. Hanging out with someone as a friend with no interest in a possible love connection is just trivial hanging out, not dating. People who call that dating sound like a gradeschool kid bragging to their friends about how they went on a date when all they did was hang out with someone.

The best way I can describe dating is like shopping. You try on clothes to see if they fit you or not. If you knew they already fit, you really don't need to try them on. It's just a method of finding out.

People can skew that and say that couples should have sex first to see if they are compatible in that way, but as you all know, I'm waiting until I'm married. That's another subject, though. :p

xXhayleyroxXx
19-10-09, 19:10
Well im asking for commitment from a guy i like because i dont think i should offer my body up unless its a relationship. It's not that im not comfortable with him, but commitment shows they truly care about you.

But yes, in answer to your question I would readily commit in a relationship I it was with the right person.:)

Reggie
19-10-09, 19:13
Can sex be truly passionate without love? I believe the answer is no, at least for a romantic like me. Therefore, one night stands = pointless. I'd rather be in a loving and committed relationship than not be committed at all.

Catapharact
19-10-09, 19:15
Can sex be truly passionate without love?

It can be if love can be replaced by another equally powerful emotion. Unfortunately the replacement emotion usually is hate... Or in some serious problem cases, self-hate.

Draco
19-10-09, 19:16
People can skew that and say that couples should have sex first to see if they are compatible in that way, but as you all know, I'm waiting until I'm married. That's another subject, though. :p

Sex isn't really a compatibility. You either try to get your partner to enjoy it...or you don't. A good sexual relationship in a marriage is going to be more about longevity and keeping interest (which it is natural to lose) anyway.

Reggie
19-10-09, 19:18
It can be if love can be replaced by another equally powerful emotion. Unfortunately the replacement emotion usually is hate... Or in some serious problem cases, self-hate.
Doesn't sound like a healthy approach to have. :/

Draco
19-10-09, 19:19
Doesn't sound like a healthy approach to have. :/

You can have some pretty awesome sex with someone you hate.

EgyptianSoul
19-10-09, 19:20
In the worst cases people with different ideas of a relationship happen to get together and that's when it gets nasty.

I spent years with a guy who I fell for but he never cared for me. He lied to me about loving me and I found comfort in his lies. Even when I knew deep inside he was fooling around with other people at the same time. I almost killed myself with the pain, sorrow and desperation of knowing we weren't compatible, but I was too weak and dependent on him to free myself. Finally I found the courage to end it, but I'm still carrying the emotional scars.

xXhayleyroxXx
19-10-09, 19:20
You can have some pretty awesome sex with someone you hate.

isnt that called using? :p

Reggie
19-10-09, 19:21
You can have some pretty awesome sex with someone you hate.
I have very different ideas about what I would do to someone I love and someone I hate. :p

violentblossom
19-10-09, 19:21
I could never have sex with someone I hated. 0_o

Melonie Tomb Raider
19-10-09, 19:22
Well im asking for commitment from a guy i like because i dont think i should offer my body up unless its a relationship. It's not that im not comfortable with him, but commitment shows they truly care about you.

But yes, in answer to your question I would readily commit in a relationship I it was with the right person.:)

I have a very similar mentality, because I'm very proud of my body, it's like a treasure to me. I'm not going to give that to a guy unless he's willing to commit to me through marriage. I'd rather die a virgin that give that up to someone who wouldn't cherish it.

Can sex be truly passionate without love? I believe the answer is no, at least for a romantic like me. Therefore, one night stands = pointless. I'd rather be in a loving and committed relationship than not be committed at all.

Well, I agree and disagree. I think that sex should be about love, and that is what makes it special, otherwise it's just plain wrong. Sex can be passionate without love though, and is often times passionate through lust. That seems to be what sex is primarily used to fulfill, but I don't agree with it.

In other words, it should be about love, but isn't always, unfortunately. Not to say that a couple in love can't be erotic and crazy, that's fine as well, as long as you love each other. :p

violentblossom
19-10-09, 19:23
Actually, sex should be about fulfilling one's duty to the human race, but that's another topic altogether.

Reggie
19-10-09, 19:24
Well, I agree and disagree. I think that sex should be about love, and that is what makes it special, otherwise it's just plain wrong. Sex can be passionate without love though, and is often times passionate through lust. That seems to be what sex is primarily used to fulfill, but I don't agree with it.

In other words, it should be about love, but isn't always, unfortunately.
My point is, lust is all very well but if you throw a bit of love into the equation, its going to be that much more passionate surely? It would be my preference to be in a committed relationship over a one night stand or casual fling because for many reasons, it would just be more fulfilling.

xXhayleyroxXx
19-10-09, 19:25
I have a very similar mentality, because I'm very proud of my body, it's like a treasure to me. I'm not going to give that to a guy unless he's willing to commit to me through marriage.



Well, I agree and disagree. I think that sex should be about love, and that is what makes it special, otherwise it's just plain wrong. Sex can be passionate without love though, and is often times passionate through lust. That seems to be what sex is primarily used to fulfill, but I don't agree with it.

In other words, it should be about love, but isn't always, unfortunately.

im glad we're like-minded because people think im being stupid! I don't neccasarily need marriage because I'm 17, but im not going to throw away my virginity because the lad i like has needs. I'm being extremly careful with it.
A friend of mine jokingly said, 'You should have just given him what he wanted, a guy has needs...' well so does a woman and i firmly believe in this.

xxx

jackles
19-10-09, 19:29
You can have some pretty awesome sex with someone you hate.

Interesting........


Actually you can love someone and not lust after them at all....in fact sometimes you can almost hate them and love them at the same time. Plus you can lust after someone (like lots of people do after pop stars etc) but not know them at all.


Love and lust can be intertwined or two separate entities.


I prefer my partner to be one of my best friends these days. I can't do emotional turmoil any more, I respect my sanity and self to much to endure it.



Hayley while your friend might have been joking, I have heard all sorts of line lke that when I was young...(and recalling that I am in GC so am being tasteful here) including the suggestion that I was too fiery and that was what I needed to sort me out...I was 15.

Tyrannosaurus
19-10-09, 19:47
If she is fairly intelligent, fairly sane, if she actually loves me for who am I am, and if I can keep the lights on when her clothes come off, then for the love of the dinosaur gods, yes, I will commit. And weep with gratitude.

Is that too much to ask the universe? Evidentially so.

xXhayleyroxXx
19-10-09, 19:55
Interesting........


Actually you can love someone and not lust after them at all....in fact sometimes you can almost hate them and love them at the same time. Plus you can lust after someone (like lots of people do after pop stars etc) but not know them at all.


Love and lust can be intertwined or two separate entities.


I prefer my partner to be one of my best friends these days. I can't do emotional turmoil any more, I respect my sanity and self to much to endure it.



Hayley while your friend might have been joking, I have heard all sorts of line lke that when I was young...(and recalling that I am in GC so am being tasteful here) including the suggestion that I was too fiery and that was what I needed to sort me out...I was 15.

aww jackles thanks for sharing that with me, its silly really; and suggesting it when you're underage is wrong. Too many young people are sex-obsessed these days :o

Nerd For Life
19-10-09, 20:02
Actually, sex should be about fulfilling one's duty to the human race, but that's another topic altogether.

Yeah, in a evolutive point of view, of course. I have no intention of having kids, though. :p

As for myself, commit. I mean, my goal isn't to get married, since I don't want to, and I'm not the kind of person to think you can only love once. I haven't been the luckiest person when it comes to relationships and quite honestly, I'm afraid of them. But when I love someone, I love someone, and I expect that person to respect me and be honest with me. Of course that never happened in the past, hence why I'm so frightened of romantic relationships. Ah, well.

Archetype
19-10-09, 20:06
Commitment or nothing, been hurt to many times because of the lack of it.

Melonie Tomb Raider
19-10-09, 20:07
Actually, sex should be about fulfilling one's duty to the human race, but that's another topic altogether.

I disagree. I don't want to have kids, and probably won't, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have sex after I'm married. I think sex is a gift between two people in love, and can be a beautiful thing when it's not tainted. It can make a bond between a couple much stronger, emotionally and even spiritually. I really don't think it's so animal like to be meant for reproduction alone. Many people are not even capable of having children, that doesn't mean that making love is useless for them.

Jackles is right, though. You can love someone and not lust after them, but personally, I think finding someone you love and have lust for is ideal. :cln:

Lara's home
19-10-09, 20:15
You can have some pretty awesome sex with someone you hate.

You can also have some pretty awesome sex, if you really want the girl/guy you're doing.

Draco
19-10-09, 20:19
You can also have some pretty awesome sex, if you really want the girl/guy you're doing.

Is it too unimaginable to want the person you hate?

Lara's home
19-10-09, 20:20
Is it too unimaginable to want the person you hate?

Not at all(Well, I wouldn't know:p), but my point is, that you don't have to hate or love a person in order to have great sex.

January_Snow*
19-10-09, 20:27
Im defenatley not the commitment type...had some long relationships (4 months or so)... I dont even want to get married before 35, or maybe never to get married...

Lavinder
19-10-09, 21:08
Im defenatley not the commitment type...had some long relationships (4 months or so)... I dont even want to get married before 35, or maybe never to get married...

4 months is not that long to be honest :p.

As to the comments previously - I think sex is the best with someone you love, plus you can keep having that sex as many times as you want without finding any blips.

I would be so gutted if I had a one night stand and they turned out to be awful - and trust me, I've heard some people are really bad in bed.

aquaflute
19-10-09, 21:22
I have been serious in the past and now I realised that the more serious ones always end up being hurt more. So I kind of prefer to fool around now. Intending only to get serious again when I am independent and old enough to consider marriage.

Nerd For Life
19-10-09, 21:31
I would be so gutted if I had a one night stand and they turned out to be awful - and trust me, I've heard some people are really bad in bed.

You're right.. worst thing is, they think they're amazing in bed. :whi:

Catracoth
19-10-09, 21:42
I would indeed commit to the person in question, if I were to date them. But I would never date anyone I don't really like, or else I'll end up ending things the next day, since I'm not happy. It's happened twice before and while I do feel bad for hurting the two people, I learned a lesson - never date someone without talking with them first, or you might learn some turn-offs when it's too late.

Nerd For Life
19-10-09, 21:47
I do agree it's necessary to know a person before starting anything serious with them. Like you said, you never know what the turn-offs might be unless you are friends with said person... Which is the mistake most people do these days. I seriously cannot understand. I'm not judging you Catracoth (Mason right? :)) because I made that mistake before as well, but like you, I have learned my lesson.

Catracoth
19-10-09, 21:58
Mason, yes, and I know what you mean. I think the first time was because it was my first actual relationship so I got all excited about it, but I ended up hurting a really good friend. We're still good friends to this day and put it behind us, but I still feel so bad whenever I think about it. The second time, the girl I dated acted like she didn't even like me - she never talked much and her little friends were always involved in my business. Not to mention she caused a lot of problems with my friends and I didn't appreciate that, so I ended it (the day after I might add.)

So I think I'm going to stay single until I meet someone I really like and actually know I want to go out with. I thought it was going to happen but that was a big freaking joke; ask Nate (Carbonek), he can tell you how distraught I was.

xXhayleyroxXx
19-10-09, 22:00
Mason, yes, and I know what you mean. I think the first time was because it was my first actual relationship so I got all excited about it, but I ended up hurting a really good friend. We're still good friends to this day and put it behind us, but I still feel so bad whenever I think about it. The second time, the girl I dated acted like she didn't even like me - she never talked much and her little friends were always involved in my business. Not to mention she caused a lot of problems with my friends and I didn't appreciate that, so I ended it (the day after I might add.)

So I think I'm going to stay single until I meet someone I really like and actually know I want to go out with. I thought it was going to happen but that was a big freaking joke; ask Nate (Carbonek), he can tell you how distraught I was.

aww hunni, you'll find that special someone when you least expect it :hug:
iv got full faith in you xxxxxxx

Nerd For Life
19-10-09, 22:03
Mason, yes, and I know what you mean. I think the first time was because it was my first actual relationship so I got all excited about it, but I ended up hurting a really good friend. We're still good friends to this day and put it behind us, but I still feel so bad whenever I think about it. The second time, the girl I dated acted like she didn't even like me - she never talked much and her little friends were always involved in my business. Not to mention she caused a lot of problems with my friends and I didn't appreciate that, so I ended it (the day after I might add.)

So I think I'm going to stay single until I meet someone I really like and actually know I want to go out with. I thought it was going to happen but that was a big freaking joke; ask Nate (Carbonek), he can tell you how distraught I was.



Understandable... I have hurt a very good friend of mine because I wasn't sure what I wanted from the relationship anymore, and things were never the same. I still regret it to this day. :/

About that girl and her friends... From my experience, involving friends in relationship business is never a good thing. My ex did something on my back and blamed my best friend, so I acted like a total **** to her without any reason. I later found out the truth, and saved my friendship, thankfully.

Great thinking, too (on staying single). I'm very glad to know some people still think that way. :) I used to be friends with a girl (she's a mother now, but she hasn't changed a bit) that met guys, ****ed them, only to ditch them right afterwards because when they wanted a relationship, she said she wasn't ready or only found out about the turns-off after getting in bed with them. It's her way of finding out if someone is good enough for her or not. Which is disgusting if you ask me, but what can you do.

Siberian Tiger
19-10-09, 22:27
I'm the sort of person who wants to go through the glorious motions of starting a relationship and seeing that relationship progress, and with the current relationship I'm in I can say that I am committed and for me it's miles more than just "fooling around". ;)

TRhalloween
19-10-09, 22:29
People can be bad in bed? That's probably me. I'm going to have to rely on my personality :pi:

Thorir
19-10-09, 22:29
It depends on the relationship, but for the time being, I'd rather not commit.
I'd want an open relationship. Love the one person, have fun with whoever you want.
Love is what matters, nothing else. :)

Luckily I lack any kind of jealousy.
It probably won't work for the jealous people.

Catracoth
19-10-09, 22:33
aww hunni, you'll find that special someone when you least expect it :hug:
iv got full faith in you xxxxxxx

Thanks, Hayley :hug:.

Understandable... I have hurt a very good friend of mine because I wasn't sure what I wanted from the relationship anymore, and things were never the same. I still regret it to this day. :/

About that girl and her friends... From my experience, involving friends in relationship business is never a good thing. My ex did something on my back and blamed my best friend, so I acted like a total **** to her without any reason. I later found out the truth, and saved my friendship, thankfully.

Great thinking, too (on staying single). I'm very glad to know some people still think that way. :) I used to be friends with a girl (she's a mother now, but she hasn't changed a bit) that met guys, ****ed them, only to ditch them right afterwards because when they wanted a relationship, she said she wasn't ready or only found out about the turns-off after getting in bed with them. It's her way of finding out if someone is good enough for her or not. Which is disgusting if you ask me, but what can you do.

That's an...interesting methodology. I would never do something like that, especially since if I'm going to do it with someone, I want it to be with the person I'm with, especially if I'm in love with them. But I'm yet to find true love - I'm just always tripping over infatuation.

Nerd For Life
19-10-09, 22:38
That's an...interesting methodology. I would never do something like that, especially since if I'm going to do it with someone, I want it to be with the person I'm with, especially if I'm in love with them. But I'm yet to find true love - I'm just always tripping over infatuation.

She got pregnant with her child and ditched the guy a month after.. sigh.

It can be easy to confuse the two, sometimes. Extra points to you for thinking that way. :D Sex just for sex is pretty much meaningless.

Chocola teapot
19-10-09, 22:48
If It's your mother then How could I say no?



Nah, You see commitment is not for me.
Ha I rhymed!

Fallen.Angel
20-10-09, 02:10
Committment is the only way I can go.

It's sad to see that a large majority of young people are literally and virtually obsessed with sex. Nothing wrong with sex, of course, but I believe sex is a privelage, not a game. Women shouldn't be treated as a piece of meat, and vice versa. In order for sex to mean anything to me, there has to be love there first.

Ikas90
20-10-09, 04:39
I'll disagree with that. I think the person you choose to establish a serious relationship/commitment with should be your best friend first, and continue to be your best friend.

Of course. :) I was just saying that if I didn't want to risk losing them as a good friend, I wouldn't want to get involved in dating. That doesn't mean that I won't actually date them anyway. :p It depends on how much I'm willing to take a risk at that particular point. If I just stayed paranoid, I wouldn't get far with dating, lol. And if we happen to fall out, but can still remain friends, then that will be great. Doesn't usually happpen though.

patriots88888
20-10-09, 06:34
I disagree. I don't want to have kids, and probably won't, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have sex after I'm married. I think sex is a gift between two people in love, and can be a beautiful thing when it's not tainted. It can make a bond between a couple much stronger, emotionally and even spiritually. I really don't think it's so animal like to be meant for reproduction alone. Many people are not even capable of having children, that doesn't mean that making love is useless for them.

So, just for the record, I take it you're not against the use of contraceptives?

As far as the topic question goes, I have been in a few not-so-serious relationships and have also been in a couple serious ones. To each their own, but my outlook entering relationships early on in my life was predominantly for the purpose of exploring the many wonderful things that a female can bring to a heterosexual male. Not just physically, but emotionally as well.

I like to believe that by 'sewing my wild oats' early on in life, I could better focus on the many other aspects that a healthy, meaningful, and serious relationship can offer and bring if I were fortunate enough to find them with the right companion.

Melonie Tomb Raider
20-10-09, 06:54
So, just for the record, I take it you're not against the use of contraceptives?


No, I'm not. I'm a firm believer in them, actually. :p

Although, I am against abortion. I don't see anything wrong with preventing a life from happening, but killing one is a different story.

LaraLuvrrr
20-10-09, 07:14
Well since I haven't posted my opinion yet...

I guess I mostly want to be in a relationship. But if I break up with someone I'd wanna go have fun and not want to commit for awhile. So I guess it depends on the situation.

After a bad breakup there's nothing better than freedom

Changeling
20-10-09, 07:19
I'm definitely one for commitment, I can't just go and fool around with people for a one-off, it's not the sort of person that I am. I only go into a relationship if I have very strong feelings for that person.

violentblossom
20-10-09, 13:50
I disagree. I don't want to have kids, and probably won't, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have sex after I'm married. I think sex is a gift between two people in love, and can be a beautiful thing when it's not tainted. It can make a bond between a couple much stronger, emotionally and even spiritually. I really don't think it's so animal like to be meant for reproduction alone. Many people are not even capable of having children, that doesn't mean that making love is useless for them.



*sigh*

I never said that love was useless, dear. I'm merely stating, as Nerd For Life has, that for evolution's and civilization's sake, that our purpose IS to populate this planet with more of our kind. The emotional crap is all additional.

AmericanAssassin
20-10-09, 13:51
Yes, I want to commit. I want to get married, settle down, and have children. I might even build a white picket fence. :p

violentblossom
20-10-09, 13:53
Yes, I want to commit. I want to get married, settle down, and have children. I might even build a white picket fence. :p

No, not the white picket fence! :eek:





:p

xXhayleyroxXx
20-10-09, 15:22
Thanks, Hayley :hug:.



That's an...interesting methodology. I would never do something like that, especially since if I'm going to do it with someone, I want it to be with the person I'm with, especially if I'm in love with them. But I'm yet to find true love - I'm just always tripping over infatuation.

no problem :) 'tiz the honest truth! xxx

Nerd For Life
20-10-09, 19:04
*sigh*

I never said that love was useless, dear. I'm merely stating, as Nerd For Life has, that for evolution's and civilization's sake, that our purpose IS to populate this planet with more of our kind. The emotional crap is all additional.

Yeah, the emotional part is something exclusive to us humans... The concept of love only has meaning because we give it meaning...

Yes, I want to commit. I want to get married, settle down, and have children. I might even build a white picket fence. :p

:vlol: