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View Full Version : So what's with this 'I Love You' that is so shocking?


tombraiderluka
06-12-09, 01:50
Seriously, ever since I know bout myself I've been watching TV Shows where a person gets completely stunned when her significant other says it for 'the first time'. I never came across anyone being surprised by me saying I love you, nor had I been surprised by it. So is it something that's only on TV or is it really that important?

Catracoth
06-12-09, 01:53
Is it really that important? Really? So you wouldn't mind if your significant other never said I love you?

tombraiderluka
06-12-09, 01:54
Is it really that important? Really? So you wouldn't mind if your significant other never said I love you?
No I was just weirded out at people freaking out about it when it's said for the first time cause I've never experienced anyone that freaked out, it all seems normal when you get to one point in a relationship.

TRhalloween
06-12-09, 01:55
Because that's when they know for sure, I guess.

tombraiderluka
06-12-09, 01:56
Because that's when they know for sure, I guess.
I understand that, but shouldn't it all be taken normally without making a fuss about it? :)

Catracoth
06-12-09, 01:58
I understand that, but shouldn't it all be taken normally without making a fuss about it? :)

If you really love the other person and you didn't know how they felt, and they tell you that, wouldn't you be all happy and giddy as well? Not everyone is made of stone, luka.

tombraiderluka
06-12-09, 02:01
If you really love the other person and you didn't know how they felt, and they tell you that, wouldn't you be all happy and giddy as well? Not everyone is made of stone, luka.
I guess it's each one on it's own. For example, I do not need someone to say 'I Love You' to know how she feels, so that's why saying I love you isn't so surprising.

Mokono
06-12-09, 02:04
It always had been a very shocking phrase for me, because i do not "love" randomly. Girls i've been with had complained a lot to the point they just broke up with me, because i wasn't able to say: "i love you too"... Sure, in English seems to be quite frequent to tell people you like "i love you", but in Spanish "te quiero" (2nd degree) and "te amo" (1st degree) are very different phrases with very strong significances by their own. "Te quiero" is not used that oftenly either, so when somebody is attracted to someone else he or she would normaly say "me gustas" and just when there's a true feeling they'd say "te quiero". Also for family ties you'd normally use the 2nd degree of the word "love" instead of the 1st degree.

tombraiderluka
06-12-09, 02:07
Thank you for that, Mokono. So I guess, it's not just in the movies then, oh well :pi:

Mr.Burns
06-12-09, 02:14
The first time I told her I loved her, I was nervious and when she read my note, she was floored for several minutes. :D

It's different for each person. Some need to say it, some don't. For example, I don't see the need for a day to say I love you to your signifigant other. If you need one day out of 365 to do so, then something's not right. That's just my two cents on the subject :)

tombraiderluka
06-12-09, 02:20
The first time I told her I loved her, I was nervious and when she read my note, she was floored for several minutes. :D

It's different for each person. Some need to say it, some don't. For example, I don't see the need for a day to say I love you to your signifigant other. If you need one day out of 365 to do so, then something's not right. That's just my two cents on the subject :)
Can you please explain more what you wanted to say? I find it a bit hard to understand.

Mr.Burns
06-12-09, 02:24
Can you please explain more what you wanted to say? I find it a bit hard to understand.
Which part? :)

tombraiderluka
06-12-09, 02:26
Which part? :)
This part

For example, I don't see the need for a day to say I love you to your signifigant other. If you need one day out of 365 to do so, then something's not right. That's just my two cents on the subject :)

Mr.Burns
06-12-09, 02:27
Ah yea. Valentine's day. I don't see much of a need for it other than to sell cards, chocolates and flowers.

Catapharact
06-12-09, 02:31
It all kinda depends upon the timing and the sitution you say it in. If you don't manage to floor her if you tell her "I love you" for the first time, chances are, the chemistry isn't there.

tombraiderluka
06-12-09, 02:31
^ But is her being floored really considered to be real chemistry? I mean It happened to me. I said I love you and she said I love you too calmly, she wasn't floored or anything.

Ah yea. Valentine's day. I don't see much of a need for it other than to sell cards, chocolates and flowers.
Oh I should have guessed. I agree with this, I never actually saw the point of the Valentines day, but people here do not celebrate it so I guess it's ok.

I probably think this cause I hear and see I love you being said every day among friends and others, though I guess that's not the same kind of love. :)

Romantics Inc.
06-12-09, 02:38
Most people do not know what love means. People throw it around like it is nothing. And to have used the word "love" correctly for the first time with someone else...




...it takes your breath away...




...to hear it said to you by your love, and know, at that exact moment, exactly what LOVE really is...




besides...TV is always dramatic

Catapharact
06-12-09, 02:38
^ But is her being floored really considered to be real chemistry? I mean It happened to me. I said I love you and she said I love you too calmly, she wasn't floored or anything.

Through a psyc. POV, it probably means that she knows your persona and you good enough already. That can be a good thing and a bad thing depending upon what you guys think is needed to keep the chemistry going in a relationship.

I personally do like to keep my significant other guessing by springing a new talent or a GOOD surprise on her from time to time :).

January_Snow*
06-12-09, 02:42
The first I love you is always hard, I think that its because its the first "serious" step in a relationship, you showing the person that youre serious about her... Plus there is always a posibility that youre still in love with your ex, so what do you say when your new girlfriend says I love you? In those situations it can be hard...Atleast thats how I see it...

tombraiderluka
06-12-09, 02:43
Most people do not know what love means. People throw it around like it is nothing. And to have used the word "love" correctly for the first time with someone else......it takes your breath away......to hear it said to you by your love, and know, at that exact moment, exactly what LOVE really is...besides...TV is always dramatic

Oh well if that's what love really is, then I guess I haven't experienced it :confused: Though I really love my girlfriend.

Through a psyc. POV, it probably means that she knows your persona and you good enough already. That can be a good thing and a bad thing depending upon what you guys think is needed to keep the chemistry going in a relationship.
I personally do like to keep my significant other guessing by springing a new talent or a GOOD surprise on her from time to time :).

Yeah, well I hope both of us have the same opinion on saying I Love You for the first time, if not then I'm screwed :vlol:

Andyroo
06-12-09, 05:09
These days people go around saying 'I love you' to anyone standing near them at the time. It's thrown around like a ball, and loses it's meaning.

AmericanAssassin
06-12-09, 05:13
For me, saying "I love you" to someone is a very big deal. I've been in several serious relationships and I've never said it. It's a major thing. People throw around those word too often and it saddens me. You should save such words for someone you truly love. :)

Andyroo
06-12-09, 05:16
For me, saying "I love you" to someone is a very big deal. I've been in several serious relationships and I've never said it. It's a major thing. People throw around those word too often and it saddens me. You should save such words for someone you truly love. :)

True that.

nielsen145
06-12-09, 05:18
the danish girls, needs that confemation, everyday, in the long run, its a bit tiring, to say "jeg elsker dig skat", multiple times a day, 365

aktrekker
06-12-09, 05:35
It's not tiring if you really love her.;)

Chocola teapot
06-12-09, 10:03
I Know, I Always laugh at it! :D

Paddy
06-12-09, 10:09
What if a best friend came out and said that?
Dont see how you couldnt be shocked, perfectly normal to be, one of those things people will mostly get that sort of reaction :p

Legend 4ever
06-12-09, 10:52
What I don't get is when people obssess when their significant other never says "I love you." and also thise who are afraid of god knows what if their bf/gf says they love them after only a week or two. Some people really can tell even after two weeks, you know.

lara c. fan
06-12-09, 11:27
Seriously, ever since I know bout myself I've been watching TV Shows where a person gets completely stunned when her significant other says it for 'the first time'. I never came across anyone being surprised by me saying I love you, nor had I been surprised by it. So is it something that's only on TV or is it really that important?

Everyone's different. While some people don't really mind whether they hear it, to other's it means the world to them.

Nenya awakens
06-12-09, 11:47
See I wouldn't even call a relationship "serious" unless you guys are living together or have been together for a year or more, Someone telling me they love me is important because it makes me feel secure and with the right person does turn me to complete goo, but I have a hard time saying it back and I always feel to the need to analyze my feelings to make sure I really am in love and not just in lust.

tombraiderluka
06-12-09, 12:11
What if a best friend came out and said that?
Dont see how you couldnt be shocked, perfectly normal to be, one of those things people will mostly get that sort of reaction :p

Well, I've had 3 best friends in my life and them saying I Love You didn't shock me at all, heck I don't even remember when was the first time they told me that.

But I have a hard time saying it back and I always feel to the need to analyze my feelings to make sure I really am in love and not just in lust.

I don't understand what's there to analyze? I mean you would know if you were in love with someone or not at that time.

Your_Envy*
06-12-09, 12:33
We have two different words in Slovenia (and I am glad we do! :D) so you can't mix if a friend loves you as a friend or there is something more.. Deep. :) First one is "ljubim te", which means I love you, and I'd be probably shocked if a friend said that to me (leave the jokes aside). I never had a boyfriend so I don't know if it's shocking or not if he says that word. :) I think it must be wonderful if a person really loves you.
Anyway, the second word is "rad/rada te imam", which means "I like you", but in a friendship way, it's a really sweet word. :)

Ooh dear, it's been more than 2 years since I've been in loved. :whi:

Paddy
06-12-09, 12:36
Well, I've had 3 best friends in my life and them saying I Love You didn't shock me at all, heck I don't even remember when was the first time they told me that.
.

Thats you though :p others may not feel the same way.

mind
06-12-09, 14:01
We have two different words in Slovenia (and I am glad we do! :D) so you can't mix if a friend loves you as a friend or there is something more.. Deep. :) First one is "ljubim te", which means I love you, and I'd be probably shocked if a friend said that to me (leave the jokes aside). I never had a boyfriend so I don't know if it's shocking or not if he says that word. :) I think it must be wonderful if a person really loves you.
Anyway, the second word is "rad/rada te imam", which means "I like you", but in a friendship way, it's a really sweet word. :)

Ooh dear, it's been more than 2 years since I've been in loved. :whi:
Slovak is exactly the same :tmb: (ľúbim ťa, mám ťa rád/rada)
I have the feeling that I love you is used so excessively that now it is not strong enough to express true feelings.... but only when speaking in english

jackles
06-12-09, 14:07
Oh well if that's what love really is, then I guess I haven't experienced it :confused: Though I really love my girlfriend.



Yeah, well I hope both of us have the same opinion on saying I Love You for the first time, if not then I'm screwed :vlol:


There are loads of different kinds of being in love. I have had romantic devouring loves and calmer more friendship based loves. Love can be both. Everyones relationships differ. Like I am sure at my age I shan't be breathlessly waiting for anyone to call yet in my youth it could consume me. :D


It doesn't mean better................it just means different. :)

tombraiderluka
06-12-09, 14:12
We have two different words in Slovenia (and I am glad we do! :D) so you can't mix if a friend loves you as a friend or there is something more.. Deep. :) First one is "ljubim te", which means I love you, and I'd be probably shocked if a friend said that to me (leave the jokes aside). I never had a boyfriend so I don't know if it's shocking or not if he says that word. :) I think it must be wonderful if a person really loves you.
Anyway, the second word is "rad/rada te imam", which means "I like you", but in a friendship way, it's a really sweet word. :)

Ooh dear, it's been more than 2 years since I've been in loved. :whi:

Oh I didn't know that, thanks :D

Thats you though :p others may not feel the same way.

Yeah I guess, everyone I know is like me, so that's why I thought maybe it's only in the movies xD

Slovak is exactly the same :tmb: (ľúbim ťa, mám ťa rád/rada)
I have the feeling that I love you is used so excessively that now it is not strong enough to express true feelings.... but only when speaking in english

When I say I love you I really mean it and I use it a lot, there are different stuff that I love about someone :D

aileenwuornos
07-12-09, 13:53
Love isn't words or obsession as popular media loves to make it out to be.
It's actions, compassion and understanding.

But you're also 17.

Marianna12
07-12-09, 14:08
I've never been in a relationship before, so I don't really know. I guess it doesn't surprise you if your boyfriend/girlfriend says "I love you", when you're in a serious relationship, because you already know it. But if you're unsure about the other person's feelings, then it makes you really happy (if you know that they really mean it):)

rowanlim
07-12-09, 14:28
In my 1st serious relationship, I resisted saying "I love you" to my ex, because I didn't feel that way for him then. As our relationship progressed, it was harder NOT to say it. I found it was easier to say it about 1 month after we started. I ended it in 4 months & I've been careful not to say it unless I truly mean it. It will always surprise me if someone said it to me coz it's something serious for me :)

Lavinder
07-12-09, 14:30
Love isn't words or obsession as popular media loves to make it out to be.
It's actions, compassion and understanding.

But you're also 17.

What does that mean? I'm 17, and I personally can say I am in love with my partner ;).

MiCkiZ88
07-12-09, 14:32
like others have said, the reaction differs by each person. Mitch for an example started running and jumping around like some hyper active monkey, he said.

:D

Your_Envy*
07-12-09, 14:41
What does that mean? I'm 17, and I personally can say I am in love with my partner ;).

Yeah.. It doesn't depend how old you are but how mature you are, age is just a number. You can be 17 and truly love somebody, or you can be 30 and you don't even know what love is.

Marianna12
07-12-09, 14:45
Yeah.. It doesn't depend how old you are but how mature you are, age is just a number. You can be 17 and truly love somebody, or you can be 30 and you don't even know what love is.

100% agree here!:tmb:

Laralissa
07-12-09, 18:00
Personally, I think people only react 'shocked' in the movies. Its not like that in real life, and in my opinion, shouldnt be. If youre in a relationship where you feel totally comfortable with your partner, enough to spend the rest of your life with them, then the moment when either of you say 'I love you' shouldnt come as a 'shock' - sure you'll be over the moon to hear it, but deep inside, if the relationship is working that well, you'll already feel it enough to know it. If that makes any sense. If you act shocked that your other half loves you then something hasnt quite clicked :p So yeah, leave that for Hollywood :)

tonyme
07-12-09, 18:05
Wasn't that much of a shocking moment for me, when my partner and I started saying "I love you" to each other we didn't realize we were actually saying it. Because we were already madly in love even before actually saying it; it's actually hard to explain.