View Full Version : advice on friendships

29-12-09, 23:27
previously, i have never had any long term friendshipsm just small 'shallow' ones which come and go, or the 'only friends with you because they are in your school' kind of friendships. Right now i am in 6th form in a completely new school and i have made new friends. But i have made one friend, whom i only known since a few weeks ago which i spend more time with and i think is one of my closer friends. we seem to get along really well, he has slept over at mine and vice versa, and he wants to do somet with me over new years eve. However, whenever (recently) i am on msn, when i talk to him, he seems to quick end everything with the qick wodred phrases like 'yeh', 'kwl' n 'good' n lets me seem to do all the talking (lookin back at convo's i seem to be askin a hell of a lot of questions)... which kinda makes me feel like i am bieng boring. But its also quite a few friends i have known in the past have done this to me. I also worry too much that i am going run out of 'conversation juice' (or hit the awkward silence) when i am talking to my mates, and that they find me really boring to be around. Back to my new mate... i am really scared that the exact same thing will happen to him... he will just start to find it really uncomfortable to be around me and not want to hang out with me anymore. He seemed soo keen to meet me (from when i saw him) on news years eve, and plan a night out in town ect ect, but talkin to him on msn, i just feel that bieng his friend woll drift out, and then i am scared that after new years eve... and back at school... we will stop talkin and just get back onto our lives as if we never met... and me not havin the type of mates which i do stuff outa skewl with.
I have seemed to allways have major ussues with friendships... i dont know where they go wrong... i have been told by one friend of mine that i am really picky about who i am friendly with, n that my friendships dont seem to last... but i prefer to be in a group of friends (ones which i feel comfortable in) and one or two closer mates.
Has anyone know if they could give me advice on this... if its a good idea hangin out with my friend on new years eve... (i have allready gone out with him like 3 times this holiday) or is this too much if its a new/starting friendship) Has anyone ever felt like this beofre or encountered this proberbly with someone else?

29-12-09, 23:36
Well, I have always found talking on MSN quite weird, because it usually ends up just like the conversation you described. I don't think it has anything to do with you being boring. With some people it's easy to communicate, with others it doesn't go that fluid. It also depends on the mood someone is in. Seek for things you guys have in common, there is always something to talk about! Don't be afraid of silences either, since they are natural. Anyway, I think you are feeling this way because you don't know him that long. It will get better I'm sure. :)

29-12-09, 23:44
With people you first knew in real life, talking on MSN with them will usually be much different, as opposed to people you first knew over MSN.

29-12-09, 23:45
With people you first knew in real life, talking on MSN with them will usually be much different, as opposed to people you first knew over MSN.

yes! it kinda seems that i am not talking to the same person, i see what you mean :)

30-12-09, 17:07
Like others have said before, this might be just due to how different talking on a computer chat is to a real situation and an actual conversation. Perhaps he's not much into typing?... ;)

Nevertheless, one thing I learned is that people do indeed come and go, like many other things in life. I know it's hard when somebody drifts away while you're still very keen on keeping and developing the friendship, but you have to learn to accept it, I think. The sooner you learn to deal with it, the easier things will be for you later in life. Imagine a situation when somebody is keen on hanging out with you, likes you a lot, but you soon start to find that person not interesting to be around anymore (and meet someone new at the same time, for addition) - you would want to get away from that person as well, so... gotta try to see through someone else's perspective. And just becouse some people find you boring, doesn't mean you're absolutely nothing else than that; it's just that not every people get along and stay friends forever. Even when you think it's a more meaningful friendship than being classmates, it might still fade away, sooner or later...

And there's no need to feel bitter about it - better keep the memories of the good times you have had together and live on ;)