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View Full Version : Students seem to confide more in teachers then counsellors?


Catapharact
03-01-10, 19:23
It just seems that way, and while I personally don't think its a bad thing, you do have to wonder as to what use guidance counclers are these days.

I recently had a chance to be a TA with the faculty of Business; More specifically for the Macroeconomics class. I gotta tell ya, I thought the job would be more technical oriented since well... Its Economics! Anyway, I usually always keep an extra tutorial session open if the students have any lingering questions they want to ask concerning the course. Now I am wondering if the move was a smart one since I think I have got a significant number of female students and a few male students from the class comming over and brawling their eyes out over their personal problems. I think it started off with just one female student who I decided to listen to and give advice on her personal problems and it kinda snowballed out of control from there. So it makes me wonder as to if students in our University don't trust the counsellors to talk to them about their problems and issues. Is it an age issue or an attitude difference or the like? I can't say. Maybe my love is right on this one; Its probably Karmaic retribution for me for being such a smart ass pain in the butt student with all my teachers Lol!

So a general question to all our members; Do you feel comfortable enough around your teachers to talk about your problems?

lara c. fan
03-01-10, 19:25
It just seems that way, and while I personally don't think its a bad thing, you do have to wonder as to what use guidance counclers are these days.

I recently had a chance to be a TA with the faculty of Business; More specifically for the Macroeconomics class. I gotta tell ya, I thought the job would be more technical oriented since well... Its Economics! Anyway, I usually always keep an extra tutorial session open if the students have any lingering questions they want to ask concerning the course. Now I am wondering if the move was a smart one since I think I have got a significant number of female students and a few male students from the class comming over and brawling their eyes out over their personal problems. I think it started off with just one female student who I decided to listen to and give advice on her personal problems and it kinda snowballed out of control from there. So it makes me wonder as to if students in our University don't trust the counsellors to talk to them about their problems and issues. Is it an age issue or an attitude difference or the like? I can't say. Maybe my love is right on this one; Its probably Karmaic retribution for me for being such a smart ass pain in the butt student with all my teachers Lol!

So a general question to all our members; Do you feel comfortable enough around your teachers to talk about your problems?

No. I don't feel comfortable to tell anyone my problems actually. I try to deal with them myself, however much pain it causes me.

Aranara
03-01-10, 19:44
I think students confide in teachers because the counsellors are creepy men/women. The counsellor at my school is creepy.
And if I have problems I discuss with my family, I don't go to my teachers and tell everything that is wrong with my life.

Reggie
03-01-10, 19:47
So a general question to all our members; Do you feel comfortable enough around your teachers to talk about your problems?
This is so true of me.

I'm known for being the one who almost always has lingering questions and possibly something personal tacked onto it as well if they have time to hear me out. I've actually become friends with one lecturer like this who actually confides in me about things as well and I'd say I wouldn't mind staying in touch with her after college. Of course, how I approach a teacher is totally dependent on what they're like and with one lecturer its like we're just never going to get along - always tension there. So yeah, it depends who the teacher is.

Considering you actually setup an entire period that take student's concerns into account you've shown yourself to be far more caring about the students than most students could ever hope for throwing out a big message to the more high maintenence students that you're the one they can go to about anything. I've never done well with strictly non-personal relationships with people and I've always been quite open with lecturers providing I trust them. Students always appreciate it if they know their lecturer actually cares about them outside what homework and notes they should be working on. So kudos to you for that. :tmb:

Angel666
03-01-10, 19:47
In my experience, the job of a school counseler has become so much more than counseling that they don't have time to do the former. In highschool if I ever had to talk to them I would have to go to their office multiple times for days to check that they were in there. I'm not sure specifically what it is they have to do but it seems like a lot. Also, my counseler was really ****ing stupid, so I prefered to not deal with her at all if I could avoid it.

Aranara
03-01-10, 19:48
In my experience, the job of a school counseler has become so much more than counseling that they don't have time to do the former. In highschool if I ever had to talk to them I would have to go to their office multiple times for days to check that they were in there. I'm not sure specifically what it is they have to do but it seems like a lot. Also, my counseler was really ****ing stupid, so I prefered to not deal with her at all if I could avoid it.

This sounds like my school.

AmericanAssassin
03-01-10, 19:51
The reason I tend to confide more in my teachers than my counsellors is because I spend a lot more time with my teachers. I'm comfortable around them. Whereas, my consellors make me nervous and I feel like I'm being compared to other students when I'm around them. I know that's probably the opposite of how I should feel around them, but I just can't help it. They always seem to favor the top students. I really don't like feeling like I'm being looked down upon.

LightningRider
03-01-10, 19:56
I can't say, I usually just vent out my problems through writing. But I do agree that being with Teachers being there for the students everyday, I guess us students form at least sort of a Parental bond with them.

jackles
03-01-10, 20:13
I have been a TA for a long time now...(well ICT support now) for nearly ten years and the kids ALWAYS tell us more than they do the teachers. Some times they disclose stuff to us that needs reporting to the authorities and we have training on how to deal with this.

Plus we do a lot of mediation between kids so we often have much more knowledge of what is going on.

Catracoth
03-01-10, 20:17
I confide in my psychologist--that's what I pay her for. The guidance counsellors in my school (or my cluster one anyway) isn't at all helpful. My psychologist works at my school as well, so she has as much power as a guidance counsellor, and she actually gets things done in a timely manner.

Catapharact
03-01-10, 22:22
I've never done well with strictly non-personal relationships with people and I've always been quite open with lecturers providing I trust them. Students always appreciate it if they know their lecturer actually cares about them outside what homework and notes they should be working on. So kudos to you for that. :tmb:

Interesting view.

While I do not discourage this approach (actually I encourage it) do keep in mind that TAs, teachers and the like are human beings as well :p, and therefore can't be around all the time when people need help. None of us want to discourage students from asking for help when they need it but please don't think ill of us if we aren't always around to provide emotional support. But I am glad that you are proactive enough to approach your instructors for help.


I have been a TA for a long time now...(well ICT support now) for nearly ten years and the kids ALWAYS tell us more than they do the teachers. Some times they disclose stuff to us that needs reporting to the authorities and we have training on how to deal with this.

Plus we do a lot of mediation between kids so we often have much more knowledge of what is going on.

This kind of concerns me Jackie. I would rather they approach those who are actually there to help them. Aranara and Angel666 might have a point there about guidence staff these days being more distant from students. Like I said, it could be an attitude difference or age gap, or the like but it concerns me that students aren't proactive enough about getting the help they need.

Sgt BOMBULOUS
03-01-10, 23:22
This reminds me of an old joke: If you can't teach, teach gym. If you can't do that, become a guidance counselor" (not saying it's true)

Reggie
04-01-10, 00:19
Interesting view.

While I do not discourage this approach (actually I encourage it) do keep in mind that TAs, teachers and the like are human beings as well :p, and therefore can't be around all the time when people need help. None of us want to discourage students from asking for help when they need it but please don't think ill of us if we aren't always around to provide emotional support. But I am glad that you are proactive enough to approach your instructors for help.
Indeed. If they're not interested, then I'll leave them be. The fact I've needed so much more assistance is not surprising considering how tough my time in College has been. No doubt I'll be remembered for being 'nice but difficult'. :/

igonge
04-01-10, 00:20
I don't like my guidence teacher, she's a ***** who lives in the past.

Catapharact
04-01-10, 00:38
Indeed. If they're not interested, then I'll leave them be. The fact I've needed so much more assistance is not surprising considering how tough my time in College has been. No doubt I'll be remembered for being 'nice but difficult'. :/

Reggie, there is nothing wrong with leaning on a shoulder when you know you are about to fall. It would be far more of a problem if you fell face first on the ground rather then leaning on someone when you know you are about to fall.

Having said that, I have a confession to make; When I see potential in a person, I do whatever I can to bring it out... Ever if it means pushing them to their bare limits. Why? Because I want an individual to feel what its like to stand on their own two feet and be able to say that "I did it on my own!" without adding any supportive individuals. I don't want people who come to me for help and do well on a test and then credit me for their success. No... I want them to feel good about it on their own and in their own abilities. That is my aim... That is what I do for an individual... Because I know that this will inspire them to believe in their own potential.

Reggie
04-01-10, 00:54
Reggie, there is nothing wrong with leaning on a shoulder when you know you are about to fall. It would be far more of a problem if you fell face first on the ground rather then leaning on someone when you know you are about to fall.

Having said that, I have a confession to make; When I see potential in a person, I do whatever I can to bring it out... Ever if it means pushing them to their bare limits. Why? Because I want an individual to feel what its like to stand on their own two feet and be able to say that "I did it on my own!" without adding any supportive individuals. I don't want people who come to me for help and do well on a test and then credit me for their success. No... I want them to feel good about it on their own and on their own abilities. That is my aim... That is what I do for an individual... Because I know that this will inspire them to believe in their own potential.
Thanks. :tmb:

That's good if you can do that as well. Anything but a certain lecturer of mine sucking any semblance of motivation out of everything that gets taught to me but let's not go into that. :p

I feel sorry for my lecturers really because while I've got all this info and interest (which in itself is overbearing at times), I have trouble channeling it correctly. I've got a once a week session with a study skills tutor for that now and she's been a big help so far...however, I honestly think though that my lack of focussing properly will be my undoing...

Ward Dragon
04-01-10, 01:09
Reggie, there is nothing wrong with leaning on a shoulder when you know you are about to fall. It would be far more of a problem if you fell face first on the ground rather then leaning on someone when you know you are about to fall.

Having said that, I have a confession to make; When I see potential in a person, I do whatever I can to bring it out... Ever if it means pushing them to their bare limits. Why? Because I want an individual to feel what its like to stand on their own two feet and be able to say that "I did it on my own!" without adding any supportive individuals. I don't want people who come to me for help and do well on a test and then credit me for their success. No... I want them to feel good about it on their own and in their own abilities. That is my aim... That is what I do for an individual... Because I know that this will inspire them to believe in their own potential.

That's the best approach to have :tmb: Hopefully if things go according to plan, I will start a graduate program next fall which includes being a TA for some lab classes. I intend to be the same way towards my students. I tried to be that way during my junior high/high school student teaching, but most of the students didn't care about the class and I can't help anyone who isn't willing to try :o

Uzi master
04-01-10, 01:25
hmm, that remeinds me of a friend of my brothers who confided in a counseler, then she called her parrents and told them.

TheBloodRed
04-01-10, 01:32
I believe the teachers see the students a whole lot for than the counselors even will(my whole HS career, I only saw the counselor 5 times). Because of this, the students feel more comfortable with the teachers themselves.

Big Matt
04-01-10, 01:51
When I was a kid, through my teenage years, and into my early twenties, I spoke to absolutely no one about anything personal. Not to my parents, not my teachers, not the few friends I had, not anyone. I will say, the times that I considered talking to someone teachers were probably somewhere well below the middle of the list. Guidance counselors weren't even a consideration.

Almost all of the students considered counselors to be soulless robotic cogs in the institutional machine. Teachers, we saw and interacted with on a daily basis and as such we had a better glimpse of their warmth and humanity. Teachers got angry, had happiness, got sad, could grow tired, they experienced both problems and successes. Guidance counselors were stoic voiceless individuals we might pass a few times a year in the hall while rushing to class. Who would you be more likely to open up to -- a rarely seen stone-faced stranger who spends most of every day by themselves in their office, or someone whom you've been regularly interacting with for several months or a even a couple of years?

As well, an opinion that I had has a teenager (and still have today) concerning counselors, therapists, and such is: Why would I pay someone to fill the role of a friend? A true friend you speak with and by combining each other's strength you weather your problems together. You do this because you love and care about one another. A counselor, therapist, paid mental health professional (at least in principle) isn't willing to do this because they love or care about you. Their willingness to sit and listen to you for an hour is because they are receiving money in return for doing so. With a teacher, they are not being paid to listen to you. They are choosing to listen to you and in choosing to do so it leads one to assume that, at least on some level, they care. A counselor who sits and listens to someone gets paid to do so whether they care or not. It leaves one with the question, if this weren't their job and they weren't being paid for it would they even listen, much less have any concern?

Anyway, these are just the thoughts of a thirty-something who remembers what it was like.

illuminati30
04-01-10, 02:21
This might be a bit of nuisance when it comes to your time, but being someone people can confide in is something to be proud of. I expect not many teachers have such a relationship with their students.

Jedd Fletcher
04-01-10, 03:05
I've had many a bad experience with my school counsellor, who is painfully incompetent and when she couldn't help, tried to kick me out of the school. I find some teachers are more sincere and capable.

larafan25
04-01-10, 03:07
^same.

we have really nice teachers in my school:)

woody543
04-01-10, 17:47
We don't have counsellors in our school, I don't think they're that common in the UK.

Myself I can't tell anybody about my problems and issues, and I don't know whether or not I would tell a counsellor if I had the oppoutunity too, but if there was one there I would possibly try and speak to them.#

I can't speak to teachers though, I don't find any approachable..

Jack Croft
04-01-10, 18:01
No. I don't feel comfortable to tell anyone my problems actually. I try to deal with them myself, however much pain it causes me.

Same, I dont really ever tell people how I truly feel or my problems its just who I am.

Draco
05-01-10, 14:57
Of course they confide more with teachers, guidance counsellors are as unapproachable as any other school administrator.

jackles
05-01-10, 17:02
This kind of concerns me Jackie. I would rather they approach those who are actually there to help them. Aranara and Angel666 might have a point there about guidence staff these days being more distant from students. Like I said, it could be an attitude difference or age gap, or the like but it concerns me that students aren't proactive enough about getting the help they need.

Thing is Cat in the UK there just isn't the emphasis on counselling. (must be all that stiff upper lip thing!) ;)

People tend to talk to those they have a relationship with or those they see as having their best needs at heart. For me and my co workers we often take the role of class mum in a sense especially in times of trauma for children when maybe school is the only safe and constant place that they know. Young people can't always access help in the way that a rational adult could, kids turn to their peers for help....or possibly the young man who is helping out in their class who seems articulate and approachable.

Lara Croft!
06-01-10, 20:14
In Greek schools there are no counselors, only teachers and professors.