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moodydog
16-01-10, 10:14
hey, i am 17 today.
i woke up this morning knowing what i was gonna expect... (and i was right)
The first thing i got was a phone call from my grandparents telling my that they forgot to send me a birthday card and that they are sorry :o but generally happy birthday, then i had a shower (generally feeling depresse) went down stairs and found that i had barely any cards (no i ahd NO cards or anything). But then my mum rushed upstairs to get a bag and said its not much. I looked in, it had a green little guey alien thing, a birthday card, and a fhm and zoo magazines. The latter made me go from thinking that this is just another dull birthday to feeling quite depressed. :( I mean, i dont collect zoo or fhm or play, i do look/ read them though (my brothers), but i asked my mum why she got me the magazines, to which she replied 'coz your a man', no i never expected my mum to buy me zoo magazines, i always expected that from my dad, but this made me really concious that my mum denies my own sexuality or worse? :( This has just made me feel even more uncomfortable and my day even worse ... and i really am not expecting much else to come... or even a fonecall from my dad this morning

can anyone give adice... is it normal to be getting mens magazines from your mum on your 17th birthday, when she doesnt even know anything about who i fancy or my own prefereces (yeh am straight, just really shy) (i have been really shy in the past, and got rejected a few times) I sortof feels like she is forcefully expecting me to read fhm magazines, (which i actually do anyway).?

Quasimodo
16-01-10, 10:20
Parents are only human, after all, and are bound to make unwise decisions now and then. I'd just tell her that gifts like fhm make you uncomfortable.

Are you upset because you got inappropriate gifts or more because you feel your family didn't treat your birthday like more of a special occasion?

Surohicko
16-01-10, 10:21
Is your Mother having a Mid-life breakdown???

moodydog
16-01-10, 10:23
Parents are only human, after all, and are bound to make unwise decisions now and then. I'd just tell her that gifts like fhm make me uncomfortable.

Are you upset because you got inappropriate gifts or more because you feel your family didn't treat your birthday like more of a special occasion?

fhm doesnt make my uncomfortable lol, getting it from my mum when she doesnt really know much about you does. And both really, it wouldnt bother me at all if the magazine was from my dad though, but yes my birthday feels like every other day of the year now. :(

Is your Mother having a Mid-life breakdown???

no, i dont think so

Quasimodo
16-01-10, 10:25
Not to sound harsh, but part of growing older is not expecting a big birthday bash every year. You could always go do something fun with your friends :)

Surohicko
16-01-10, 10:25
I agree with Quasi

moodydog
16-01-10, 10:28
Not to sound harsh, but part of growing older is not expecting a big birthday bash every year. You could always go do something fun with your friends :)

i never expected a big birthday bash, never have done, dont have any partys or anything, i an going out for a meal later which is nice :) and friends at the moment (well at this time in my life) is also a little issue, i do have a close friend, who is grounded, and thats bout it. :o, so yes i am a bt reliant on family. To be honest, it friends at the moment thats why i am feeling like this.

Rai
16-01-10, 10:30
I'm sorry you're not having such a great birthday. It's a sad fact that, as we get older we receive less cards etc. Birthdays seem to be for kids or those with 'special' birthdays such as 18,21,50 etc. All the ones in-between mean little, apparently. Of course it isn't always the case.

As for your mum buying you these magazines, I'm actually quite shocked. Not that a lad your age looks at them, but that your mum bought them for you. My son turned 17 last week and that would be the last thing on my mind to buy him. I dunno if she was denying your sexuality or just presuming you'd like them, as she said 'because you're a man'. But giving these magazines to one's son would be really awkward in the first place. I think she's just caught up in a stereotype that all young men like that sort of thing without question. You say you do read/look at them, so why does it bother you that your mum presumed you'd like them? Or was it that she didn't ask? To be honest, I feel that, unless you've always had an open relationship with your mum, mums and sons are always going to feel a little awkward about talking about this stuff together. It's a dad and son sort of thing, traditionally.

I dunno if it will cheer you up any but, in the hope that it does: Happy Birthday! :)

Surohicko
16-01-10, 10:31
Coudn't the parents unlift his punishment??
For your Bday present ;)

toxicraider
16-01-10, 10:33
Firstly, Happy Birthday :)
Secondly, maybe you should talk through how you feel with your mum, otherwise she won't be any the wiser. Obviously she wants you to like your presents, so just try letting her know, without making her feel bad. That way, next year, she'll feel better knowing she can get something you'd prefer, and of course, you'll get presents you prefer.
But I agree with Quasi, soon your birthday will be what you make of it, really.

January_Snow*
16-01-10, 10:38
Not to sound harsh, but part of growing older is not expecting a big birthday bash every year. You could always go do something fun with your friends :)

I agree with you about the friends part, but comeone, no one is expecting a super sweet birthday bash every year, but his mom gave him magazines.....


Obviosly she doesnt care much, and I think you should confront her, and tell her how you feel....

moodydog
16-01-10, 10:39
I'm sorry you're not having such a great birthday. It's a sad fact that, as we get older we receive less cards etc. Birthdays seem to be for kids or those with 'special' birthdays such as 18,21,50 etc. All the ones in-between mean little, apparently. Of course it isn't always the case.

As for your mum buying you these magazines, I'm actually quite shocked. Not that a lad your age looks at them, but that your mum bought them for you. My son turned 17 last week and that would be the last thing on my mind to buy him. I dunno if she was denying your sexuality or just presuming you'd like them, as she said 'because you're a man'. But giving these magazines to one's son would be really awkward in the first place. I think she's just caught up in a stereotype that all young men like that sort of thing without question. You say you do read/look at them, so why does it bother you that your mum presumed you'd like them? Or was it that she didn't ask?

I dunno if it will cheer you up any but, in the hope that it does: Happy Birthday! :)

hehe thanks :)
It bothers me coz, but i dont exaclty know why, right now its more like meh, she's bought it for me, its not like is completely useless :p,
its just strange that its from my mum

Surohicko
16-01-10, 11:23
Not to sound rude,
but if your Mum got you a Girlfriend instead of magazines,
Would you be happy then?? ;)

moodydog
16-01-10, 11:28
Not to sound rude,
but if your Mum got you a Girlfriend instead of magazines,
Would you be happy then?? ;)

:vlol:

hahaha, yeh i would :D
lol. btw i changed that last post ;)

i am actually tryingt to find a girl at the moment :)

Surohicko
16-01-10, 11:30
well look on the street :whi: :vlol:

Kidding kidding....

Jedd Fletcher
16-01-10, 11:33
Happy birthday, I'm 17 this year as well. I agree with toxicraider that you should talk to your mum about it. Perhaps she is confused of how to treat your sexuality. Explain to her what you just did to us, that you are straight but just really really shy. Anyway, I don't think she should force you to confront it by thrusting men's magazines in your face, but that's just me. Parents can be weird sometimes. Perhaps you should talk to your Dad about this too, man to man.

jackles
16-01-10, 11:35
Okay I confess I got my 17 year old son a FHM mag for Christmas to put in his Christmas stocking (he is 18 next week), He laughed though. Because it was a jokey present...it had a calender in it.



Oh and happy birthday :)

moodydog
16-01-10, 11:40
Okay I confess I got my 17 year old son a FHM mag for Christmas to put in his Christmas stocking (he is 18 next week), He laughed though. Because it was a jokey present...it had a calender in it.



Oh and happy birthday :)

haha thinking about it more and more, i do technically like the presents :), regardless of who its from... but its just eww, its ma mum who bought it. But i still like, would keep it :p

Surohicko
16-01-10, 11:40
What a lovely Mother you are ;)

Legend of Lara
16-01-10, 13:33
Not to sound rude,
but if your Mum got you a Girlfriend instead of magazines,
Would you be happy then?? ;)

Wouldn't that be kinda awkward?
"Hey, son! Here's a girlfriend! She's a lovely young lady... I think. Happy birthday!"

Rai
16-01-10, 13:49
haha thinking about it more and more, i do technically like the presents :), regardless of who its from... but its just eww, its ma mum who bought it. But i still like, would keep it :p

I can understand your awkwardness especially if you and your mum don't normally talk about girls and dating etc. Perhaps she was worried about you not having a girlfriend yet. She was just clumsy about how she dealt with it. It probably would have been better to talk to you about girls or something, then you could have just explained that you like girls but your shyness is holding you back? It could be that your mum was embarrassed to bring it up.

There is no way that you should feel pressured into having a girlfriend until you're ready. And you seem to be. Just pluck up the courage to talk to a girl at school/college/whatever just to start a conversation. You never know it may lead to a date!

lara c. fan
16-01-10, 13:50
Just pluck up the courage to talk to a girl at school/college/whatever just to start a conversation. You never know it may lead to a date!

That's what I need.

*leaves*

Capt. Murphy
16-01-10, 13:54
I'm not sure if this has been said yet but... Your own mother getting you sexy magazines? I'd be a bit creeped out personally.

I dunno. Maybe she'd trying to push along so she can get some grandkids. :whi:

:vlol:

Happy Birthday.

Edit: As you get older - you'll notice that you'll get less and less presents on your birthday. It's not that nobody cares for you anymore, it's just that's it hard to know what to get sometimes. Be happy with a card, maybe a little spending money, and that at least someone remembered... (someday in the distant future).

LightningRider
16-01-10, 13:56
First, Happy Birthday! :hug:

Second, it's practically normal for parents to start giving you less. My parents stopped throwing parties, because after 10 you're supposed to have no birthdays, you're old enough.

But, I do think you should just really really do something today that's fun, the best birthdays are those you make the best out of. And don't worry about the magazines, I'm sure she was just getting worried you have no girlfriend or anything, but it's nothing to worry about, parents get stressed out about things all the time. :)

jackles
16-01-10, 14:00
*damn everyone must think I am weird too now*

*oh yeah they already do*


But like I said she could have just been thinking quirky like me.

Minty Mouth
16-01-10, 14:03
Maybe she just thought you would like them, and wanted you to have a nice birthday in the bathroom?

Rai
16-01-10, 14:08
*damn everyone must think I am weird too now*

*oh yeah they already do*


But like I said she could have just been thinking quirky like me.

Well you know :whi:
No j/k, it seems like you have a really good relationship with your son and he'll obviously understand your quirkness.

Maybe she just thought you would like them, and wanted you to have a nice birthday in the bathroom?

Ewww that's wude :vlol:

LightningRider
16-01-10, 14:15
Maybe she just thought you would like them, and wanted you to have a nice birthday in the bathroom?

Jake! :vlol:

lara c. fan
16-01-10, 14:16
Maybe she just thought you would like them, and wanted you to have a nice birthday in the bathroom?

Shush, you....you!
:p

Legend of Lara
16-01-10, 14:18
Maybe she just thought you would like them, and wanted you to have a nice birthday in the bathroom?

This is why I love you.

scoopy_loopy
16-01-10, 15:11
I know that you probably feel too guilty to admit that your birthday was **** on account of your family anywhere but here, so; :hug: That sucks :( And Im really, really, sorry your mother bought those magazines for you :o

Shark_Blade
16-01-10, 16:11
Happy birthday. :hug:

I think you should just tell your parents what you had in mind. Tell them you're grateful for the presents but it's not what you like. Just be honest and tell it to their faces. After all it's your birthday, why should you be upset?

aktrekker
16-01-10, 17:43
It might be strange getting something like that from your mother.
But remember, mothers are women first. And women do know what men like. They are as sexual as men are. How do you think you got here?
We just don't like to think of our parents like that. But get used to it. Someday you'll be the parent and your kids will feel the same way about you.

moodydog
16-01-10, 18:21
haha i did talk to my mum
like my grandmother, she is very very dissy headed... she was actually looking for a book (twilight - which i hate!!!), then a game magazine (i.e pc gamer or edge) but she then came acrosss zoo and fhm thinking that it had funny jokes and had other interesting stuff in it (she has read through them on holiday), n she likes them), i dont think she was really thinking about all the naked girls in it (which is primarily the basis of the mags?.) i can sort of forgive her for her dizzyness. :ton:

plus thanks everyone, i have had a great day tbh... ma mum bought me a cool coat :D

http://i46.************/206o7s2.jpg

2kool4u
16-01-10, 18:28
Life sucks and then you die. For the last 2 years i havent had anything big for my birthday and i didnt really care. XD

See you got lucky^^

snork
16-01-10, 18:34
Happy Birthday!

Good to hear how it sorted out.

They [women] are as sexual as men are.
:tmb: overall I second that.

and that coat is - I would have wanted one like that when I was your age - Prince was still named Prince back then (supposedly sexiest male music star at that time, but for David Bowie that is). :vlol:

Legend of Lara
16-01-10, 20:22
Life sucks and then you die. For the last 2 years i havent had anything big for my birthday and i didnt really care. XD


I haven't had any real birthday parties since I was, like... 11. I'm not really bothered, though.

Minty Mouth
16-01-10, 20:24
I haven't had any real birthday parties since I was, like... 11. I'm not really bothered, though.

I don't like birthday parties. They are a nightmare, I don't actually want all the attention focused on me. Too much pressure to be interesting (which I am definitely not)

EmeraldFields
16-01-10, 20:27
OMG! That would weird me out if I got men's magazine from my Mom!:vlol:

xXhayleyroxXx
16-01-10, 20:39
gawd thats bad hun :( i dont really know what to suggest...

lara c. fan
16-01-10, 20:40
I don't like birthday parties. They are a nightmare, I don't actually want all the attention focused on me.

Exactly the same with myself.
I'm content to just stay in the background of things, I always embarrass myself otherwise :p

moodydog
16-01-10, 21:08
haha, i dont really like me-attention, but i had a really nice day though :D
actually funny thing happened, i was in a chinese resturant called the China Lounge in manchester (whitefield) and i saw the person who plays Ricky Campbell in hollyoaks haha, he and his family were celebrating his aunts/grandma's birthday. As it usually happens, the lights go down and the waitresses come out with a birthday cake and sing happy birthday. As this was happening, me and my family were laughing and jokin bout it and i lightly told the waitress who was pouring my drink 'aawww its my birthday tooo hahahaha', so the waitress had a laugh with us. Anyway, before we were about to leave, the lights went down again and they came out, sang happy birthday again with a small cake for me :) I was soo happy (and embarrassed since all attention was on me :))

xXhayleyroxXx
16-01-10, 21:32
haha, i dont really like me-attention, but i had a really nice day though :D
actually funny thing happened, i was in a chinese resturant called the China Lounge in manchester (whitefield) and i saw the person who plays Ricky Campbell in hollyoaks haha, he and his family were celebrating his aunts/grandma's birthday. As it usually happens, the lights go down and the waitresses come out with a birthday cake and sing happy birthday. As this was happening, me and my family were laughing and jokin bout it and i lightly told the waitress who was pouring my drink 'aawww its my birthday tooo hahahaha', so the waitress had a laugh with us. Anyway, before we were about to leave, the lights went down again and they came out, sang happy birthday again with a small cake for me :) I was soo happy (and embarrassed since all attention was on me :))

nawh thats sweet :p

God Horus
16-01-10, 22:19
haha, i dont really like me-attention, but i had a really nice day though :D
actually funny thing happened, i was in a chinese resturant called the China Lounge in manchester (whitefield) and i saw the person who plays Ricky Campbell in hollyoaks haha, he and his family were celebrating his aunts/grandma's birthday. As it usually happens, the lights go down and the waitresses come out with a birthday cake and sing happy birthday. As this was happening, me and my family were laughing and jokin bout it and i lightly told the waitress who was pouring my drink 'aawww its my birthday tooo hahahaha', so the waitress had a laugh with us. Anyway, before we were about to leave, the lights went down again and they came out, sang happy birthday again with a small cake for me :) I was soo happy (and embarrassed since all attention was on me :))

That's so nice!

That happened to me to, because my birthday is on Christmas so obviously we can't go out on it, but we went out like two or three days before and when I got back from the bathroom I was looking at my phone and when I put it down all I see is a bunch of people just gathered around my table and as soon as I sit down they were like HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D I felt the same way cause everyone in the restaurant was staring at me :p

Love2Raid
16-01-10, 23:53
At least you got something man, don't feel bad about it! :o

Happy birthday. :)

LightningRider
17-01-10, 05:59
Awww, that's cool you had a nice day. Glad everything worked out. :hug: