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Quasimodo
07-05-10, 04:30
Do you want to get married someday? Or do you think marriage is a failed institution?

"If you want to find stable two-parent families, bypass Palin country and go to Pelosi territory ... The country's lowest divorce rate belongs to none other than Massachusetts, the original home of same-sex marriage ... States that voted for the Democratic presidential candidate in both 2004 and 2008 boast lower average rates of divorce and teenage childbirth than do states that voted for the Republican in both elections. (That is using family data for 2006 and 2007, the latest available.) ... To define the divide in a sentence: In red America, families form adults; in blue America, adults form families."
Source: Jonathan Rauch. "Do 'Family Values' Weaken Families?" NationalJournal.com. 5/01/2010.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Age at marriage for those who divorce in America
Age..........................Women......Men
Under 20 years old 27.6% 11.7%
20 to 24 years old 36.6% 38.8%
25 to 29 years old 16.4% 22.3%
30 to 34 years old 8.5% 11.6%
35 to 39 years old 5.1% 6.5%

Carbonek_0051
07-05-10, 04:32
Yes I do plan on getting married, it's something I've dreamed of for a long time.

Quasimodo
07-05-10, 04:34
Do you think it's silly for an atheist to want to get married?

SkyPuppy
07-05-10, 04:34
i don't believe in it; never will. :o

Carbonek_0051
07-05-10, 04:35
Do you think it's silly for an atheist to want to get married?
Nope not at all. Tf someone wants to get married then that should be their decision, religion/beliefs shouldn't be a part of it all IMHO.:)

Quasimodo
07-05-10, 04:35
i don't believe in it; never will. :o

Why?

Psychos'Я'Us
07-05-10, 04:37
I don't want to get married, to me, marriage is just a bunch of papers and a ring. I can love someone without that :)

SkyPuppy
07-05-10, 04:37
Why?

this may sound silly... but i don't believe you have to marry someone to prove you're comitted to them, nor get married to proved that you love them either.

spikejones
07-05-10, 04:38
I think I will get married some day. I don't have an issue with monogamy at all. Its having children that can essentially take your freedom away. Thats something I don't plan on doing until later in life, once I'm satisfied that I've had my fill of life's exploration. Having kids any sooner than that is just wrong, because you'll find yourself trying to live through your kids... making your kids do the things you wish you would have been able to do.

Mikky
07-05-10, 04:38
Another one?! You giving birth to threads or something?

I'd love to get married one day, to the perfect guy. No kids, though. I don't really wanna become a dad. :p

Andyroo
07-05-10, 04:41
I don't so much want to get married, but will be happy with anything that will make me and my future boyfriend 'officially' partners. :D

But I still don't feel the need for it to be official.

Melonie Tomb Raider
07-05-10, 04:45
Yes, I would love to get married. Only if it's with the right person. I'd rather be single all my life than marry a guy that I'm not compatible with.

We'll see, I suppose.

ThatNorskChick
07-05-10, 04:56
I've never really been interested in the idea of a relationship, let alone marriage. I don't like the idea of being "attached" to someone like that. But who knows, I could completely change my mind someday.

Carbonek_0051
07-05-10, 04:57
I've never really been interested in the idea of a relationship, let alone marriage. I don't like the idea of being "attached" to someone like that. But who knows, I could completely change my mind someday.

*gets on one knee*

Will you marry me?

spikejones
07-05-10, 05:02
Vatsyayana says that polygamy will destroy a person.

Quasimodo
07-05-10, 05:05
Vatsyayana says that polygamy will destroy a person.

Does it give a reason why?

I daresay polygamy makes for a more interesting discussion than plain old two-person marriage!

BoyTRaider
07-05-10, 05:07
Sure, I would. I would want kids too.

I could never get married at an early age though. I'd want to be stable first and mature enough to handle all the responsabilities that comes with that territory.

Though it will most likely be a long quest until some chick ends up falling in love with me...

There are too many things about me that usually make girls stray away, but maybe that will stop as they get older and mature up.

ThatNorskChick
07-05-10, 05:08
*gets on one knee*

Will you marry me?

How many times do I have to tell you...

Quasimodo
07-05-10, 05:09
Though it will most likely be a long quest until some chick ends up falling in love with me...

Interesting. I wonder if people are becoming less assertive in general when it comes to initiating relationships or showing interest?

Carbonek_0051
07-05-10, 05:14
How many times do I have to tell you...

Until you say yes.....

spikejones
07-05-10, 05:17
Does it give a reason why?

I daresay polygamy makes for a more interesting discussion than plain old two-person marriage!

damn... im 4 chapters through the book and now you're asking me?
I'll have to find it again. somewhere in the last 74 pages. something to do with it being an arduous task to try to please several women. oft times its hard for a man to please just one. ill try to find his exact wording.

Melonie Tomb Raider
07-05-10, 05:19
I've never really been interested in the idea of a relationship, let alone marriage. I don't like the idea of being "attached" to someone like that. But who knows, I could completely change my mind someday.

It will change when you meet your dream guy. If there's a guy out there good enough for you, that is. ;)

CiaKonwerski
07-05-10, 05:20
Never going to get married. Never having sex. Never having kids.

Andyroo
07-05-10, 05:25
Never going to get married. Never having sex. Never having kids.

Good luck with that :D

Why not?

Melonie Tomb Raider
07-05-10, 05:25
Never having sex.

I'm going to quote this so you can look back at it a few years from now and see if you've changed your mind. :p :vlol:

But hey, I'm a 23-year-old virgin myself. I'm waiting until I'm married.

CiaKonwerski
07-05-10, 05:31
Never getting married because-I feel that I would not be good in that department at all. I want to do so much with my life, I never want to settle down and be with someone forever. And if it does not work, I do not want to go through all of the divorce crap. Waste of time IMO.

Never having sex because-I see no point in sex. I find pleasure in doing other things. Things that do not involve sexual activity. I have no need for THAT kind of pleasure. Plus, I am Asexual.

Never having kids because-Same for marriage. I do not want to be committed to anyone. I want to do so much with my life. I want to be moving from here to there never stopping. I do not want to be one of those who looks back on their life and realizes the things I missed out on because I got married or had a kid.

spikejones
07-05-10, 05:32
who says you can't be transient with your lover?

btw.. your mindset of transience and not wanting to settle down is EXACTLY what I'm battling wits with in a certain someone at this very moment. In 5 months we'll know the outcome. Mayhaps then you may begin to think differently. If a man can touch your heart just right, you may begin to think differently about life. You may still go about and do said things with said man.

Melonie Tomb Raider
07-05-10, 05:33
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? That may have some affect if you're a little young. People usually feel that kind of desire after puberty, especially in their late teens and anytime after that.

I really think it's a little early for you to know your sexuality. But hey, I could be totally wrong.

CiaKonwerski
07-05-10, 05:36
I am 17, but trust me I am way more mature and way more intelligent than most 17 year olds you may know. I know exactly what I want in life, and I am on the road currently to getting there. I have gone through much and I have grown so much mentally. I act and make decisions exactly as an adult does, sometimes I even make better decisions than some adults do.

spikejones
07-05-10, 05:36
But hey, I'm a 23-year-old virgin myself. I'm waiting until I'm married.

25 year old here.. wanna practice Kama Sutra together? :cln:
I am 17, but trust me I am way more mature and way more intelligent than most 17 year olds you may know. I know exactly what I want in life, and I am on the road currently to getting there. I have gone through much and I have grown so much mentally. I act and make decisions exactly as an adult does, sometimes I even make better decisions than some adults do.

.... sounds like a 17 year old I once knew called myself.

CerebralAssassin
07-05-10, 05:38
yeah I wanna get married...any volunteers?:cln:

lara c. fan
07-05-10, 05:38
25 year old here.. wanna practice Kama Sutra together? :cln:


.... sounds like a 17 year old I once knew called myself.

*Abruptly walks out of thread*

spikejones
07-05-10, 05:39
awwies... sorry to have scarred you for life.

I'm sure Mel knows I was merely jesting.

Melonie Tomb Raider
07-05-10, 05:40
I am 17, but trust me I am way more mature and way more intelligent than most 17 year olds you may know. I know exactly what I want in life, and I am on the road currently to getting there. I have gone through much and I have grown so much mentally. I act and make decisions exactly as an adult does, sometimes I even make better decisions than some adults do.

Ok, well that's cool. It's actually a good thing that you know what you want out of life and seem so level headed. :tmb:

25 year old here.. wanna practice Kama Sutra together? :cln:


Perv!! *pepper spray* :ton:

CiaKonwerski
07-05-10, 05:41
ok, well that's cool. It's actually a good thing that you know what you want out of life and seem so level headed. :tmb:


perv!! *pepper spray* :ton:

Thank you. I appreciate that. :)



lol.

spikejones
07-05-10, 05:42
Perv!! *pepper spray* :ton:
:hug: thanks dear, tastes delicious.. my favorite :p

Melonie Tomb Raider
07-05-10, 05:42
yeah I wanna get married...any volunteers?:cln:

http://www.wedding-chapels.org/alabama/alabama.jpg

You busy this weekend?

Melonie Tomb Raider
07-05-10, 05:44
:hug: thanks dear, tastes delicious.. my favorite :p

lol you weirdo :p :hug:

Edit: Sorry for the double post, my peeps.

CerebralAssassin
07-05-10, 05:50
http://www.wedding-chapels.org/alabama/alabama.jpg

You busy this weekend?

:cln: *cancels all weekend plans*

Melonie Tomb Raider
07-05-10, 05:59
:cln: *cancels all weekend plans*

It's all set then. As of this weekend, I will be deemed Mrs. CerebralAssassin. Has a nice ring to it!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_smnDcduibfQ/SQEXKGoWdPI/AAAAAAAAEg4/3GCWIHDLeO4/s400/housewife5.jpg

Oh honey, dinner is ready.

.... dinner is getting cold, dear.

GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE AND EAT YOUR FREAKIN' DINNER!!!!!!

Alpharaider47
07-05-10, 06:06
I've given this a little thought. At the moment, I don't think I'm in a position to do so, I'm young, probably naive and I haven't gotten to my exploring yet. I want to travel the world, and I think being married to someone could negatively impact that. It wouldn't be right to leave someone behind because I can't afford to take them with me, or for any reason really, it wouldn't be fair. That's not to say I don't intend to have relationships, but marriage as I see it now, seems very different. I don't think I'm ready yet. I think someday I will be, once I'm able to live life for a bit and I think I need to find myself before I can find someone else. If I commit to marriage, I want to do it right. I'm only 17, almost 18, I think I've got plenty of time.

Apathetic
07-05-10, 06:08
No.

spikejones
07-05-10, 06:08
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_smnDcduibfQ/SQEXKGoWdPI/AAAAAAAAEg4/3GCWIHDLeO4/s400/housewife5.jpg



you're missing quite a few things there mel :p
according to Vatsyayana (lol I may make that my siggy) a woman should learn the following 64 things:

Vocal music
Instruments
Dance
Drawing
Cutouts
Carpets of flowers or colored grains of rice
Flower bouquets
Dyes and colorants for the body and teeth
Mosaics
Bed arrangement
Musical instruments made of bowls filled with water
Water spewing games
The use of charms, drugs, magic words (occult arts)
Garland making
Crowns and head ornaments
The art of dressing


lol okay I'm not gonna list em all .. unless you're interested. Some of it is lolwut material, some of it is pretty useful, and some of it is to be taken with a grain of salt (IMO).

Paddy
07-05-10, 06:09
It's all set then. As of this weekend, I will be deemed Mrs. CerebralAssassin. Has a nice ring to it!


Lol be mindful, he plays mindgames :p but then I agree Mrs CerebralAssassin has a nice ring to it.

spikejones
07-05-10, 06:10
I've given this a little thought. At the moment, I don't think I'm in a position to do so, I'm young, probably naive and I haven't gotten to my exploring yet. I want to travel the world, and I think being married to someone could negatively impact that. It wouldn't be right to leave someone behind because I can't afford to take them with me, or for any reason really, it wouldn't be fair. That's not to say I don't intend to have relationships, but marriage as I see it now, seems very different. I don't think I'm ready yet. I think someday I will be, once I'm able to live life for a bit and I think I need to find myself before I can find someone else. If I commit to marriage, I want to do it right. I'm only 17, almost 18, I think I've got plenty of time.

who needs money? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758758/)

sandygrimm
07-05-10, 06:13
Maybe, but just in paper, no wedding or jazz like that. Or just stay together without any obligation, so in case something happens to ruin it, there is no legal bondage to worry about, Divorces are more expensive than marriages.
But who knows....

Alpharaider47
07-05-10, 06:14
who needs money? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758758/)

Well I doubt I'll ever be rich, but if I ever intend to take someone with me on my adventures, I want to know I have the ability to take care of them. At the moment it's a wait and see approach. Unfortunately money seems to be a necessary evil, I can't really see a way of getting around without money, and then there's supplies etc. That's what I was getting at. Hehe maybe I'll get lucky and find someone as adventurous as me and things will work out. I dunno, I've got a lot of figuring out to do, I haven't even gotten out into the real world yet :o

spikejones
07-05-10, 06:19
Watch that movie.. its based on a true story of a guy that sold everything he had and gave away all his money to charity... and just went on an adventure. He lived

Lara's Nemesis
07-05-10, 06:21
Do you have an opinion on this subject Quasimodo?

Alpharaider47
07-05-10, 06:22
Watch that movie.. its based on a true story of a guy that sold everything he had and gave away all his money to charity... and just went on an adventure. He lived

I'll have to check it out. Maybe I'll be that guy some day. I'm sure the adventure is worth it. Would be nice to share it with someone, but I think I've already addressed that =/

spikejones
07-05-10, 06:25
Yehaw!
I'll leave you with this:
Efj5kCUSDQs

"Go West"

Like a ghost
Emptiness haunted his years
Still his heart was made of nothing less than good
Insecure narration in his head
Something less than schizophrenia
Creeping him with every move that he makes
Breath he takes
A beautiful walk alone
To his empty home
Where he'll lay and he'll sleep by himself

Go west young man
Your future is untold
You can find your dreams on the California coast
Go west young man
Your future isn't too
Far away

She hates me
And I know it because she said so
And I forgot my notebook
And my socialist manifesto
Will it be a tragedy
Or a comedy
The choice is up to you
Life can lead you along on a leash
Or you can break free and run on your own
Don't waste your life
Go and live your life
Like it's the last day here on this earth

Go west young man
Your future is untold
You can find your dreams on the California coast
Go west young man
Your future isn't too
Far away

Don't waste your life
Go live your life
Like it's your last day here on this earth

Go west young man
Your future is untold
You can find your dreams on the California coast
Go west young man
Your future isn't too
Far away

Go west young man
Your future is untold
You can find your dreams on the California coast
Go west!

Quasimodo
07-05-10, 06:26
Do you have an opinion on this subject Quasimodo?

I think marriage means something different to people now, especially in this society. I could picture myself getting married, but I could much more easily picture myself as the crazy old Boston Terrier lady :p Ha.

Lara's Nemesis
07-05-10, 06:44
I think marriage means something different to people now, especially in this society. I could picture myself getting married, but I could much more easily picture myself as the crazy old Boston Terrier lady :p Ha.


:D No idea what a boston terrier lady is but it sounds cool.


I personally can't see myself ever getting married, I am too much of a pain in the ass to live with. :( I suppose marriage has a lot to do with compromises as well. My parents have been married for 40 years, I'm sure they must have had their tough times but they have a pretty good marriage. :hug:

TRLegendLuver
07-05-10, 06:56
Yes I believe in marriage. And hope to get married some day. Its a covenant with your husband/wife, proving your fidelity to them. If you can commit to a marriage, its usually because you are afraid of commitment, and that if you want to leave the person, you can easily, in my opinion. But I think people should get married if they plan on being together for the rest of their life.

Paddy
07-05-10, 07:02
Yes I believe in marriage. And hope to get married some day. Its a covenant with your husband/wife, proving your fidelity to them. If you can commit to a marriage, its usually because you are afraid of commitment, and that if you want to leave the person, you can easily, in my opinion. But I think people should get married if they plan on being together for the rest of their life.
I agree or at least a large portion of their life too.

Lara's home
07-05-10, 07:04
Can't see the point of it. Costs lots of money, and more than 50% divorce later anyway.

almayah
07-05-10, 07:16
Well, yeah
It should be my happy ending

Drone
07-05-10, 07:40
*shrugs* being together and truly loving each other is more important than marriage anyway

Another Lara
07-05-10, 07:52
I come from a close family and it's taught me that marriage is an important thing and something I aim to have in life, as well as children... and I'm lucky enough to have met someone who wants exactly the same as me... just the fact that money (ie we have none) stands in the way at the moment!

TheBloodRed
07-05-10, 07:54
I don't believe in marriage. It is not a requirement to love or live. :ton:

EDIT: And don't forget the living expenses one could use the money they DIDN'T spend on a wedding on. :P

Another Lara
07-05-10, 08:03
I don't believe in marriage. It is not a requirement to love or live. :ton:



For me it is! :ton:

Archetype
07-05-10, 08:31
I would like to get married myself but in this day and age, there just aren't many people who do actually want to get married it seems.

People just can't handle commitment these days...

Nerd For Life
07-05-10, 08:32
People just can't handle commitment these days...

Not all of them. :p

Archetype
07-05-10, 09:24
Not all of them. :p

True :p But alot ;)

disneyprincess20
07-05-10, 09:36
I fully believe in it. I believe in marriage so much, my wedding is in 36 days time.

You don't have to hold a particular faith to get married, in my opinion. According to my own definition, (which may very well be bull to you, but it's my opinion) marriage is a promise between two people of any race, creed or sexuality who wish to spend their lives with another person, and their feelings are exactly reciprocated by the other person. I'd like to think anyone has the right to get married, as long as both parties are willing. The details of the wedding (which Church, whether you crush a cup or not, etc) are down to each couples choice, and they should be alowed to choose how they do that.

During the planning process for my own wedding, it's been interesting to note how many people I've come across who don't understand the difference between a wedding and a marriage. Even my own sister got the two mixed up!

Until June 12, just call me Bridezilla.

http://img696.imageshack.us/img696/5531/bridezilla.jpg

Archetype
07-05-10, 09:49
Good morning bridezilla! :O

disneyprincess20
07-05-10, 09:50
Good morning bridezilla! :O

Do you have my napkin samples?! WHY NOT?!!

:D

lunavixen
07-05-10, 09:52
i have no intention of getting married, and forget about kids i haveno tolerance for them

ryan91
07-05-10, 09:52
http://www.teesforall.com/images/Humor_Wedding_Game_Over_Black_Shirt.jpg

Archetype
07-05-10, 09:56
Do you have my napkin samples?! WHY NOT?!!

:D

I believe the caligraphy on the order of service is also wrong, I'll try again : (

disneyprincess20
07-05-10, 10:02
I believe the caligraphy on the order of service is also wrong, I'll try again : (

Actually, you're right about that one, I've got to edit the order of service! Thanks ofr reminding me!

Our order of service, and a large part of the wedding, is themed around Lego. Especially this:

http://ny-image1.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.114163113.jpg

Ikas90
07-05-10, 10:08
I'd love to get married. It would have to be with the right person, and I would have to feel completely secure with them. Not to mention that you need the financial stability as well. Once my independance is secured, marriage will definitely be an option. It's not an option now, while I'm still as young as I am. The time is not right. I don't expect to be ready for marriage for a long time.

Right now, I'm not going to worry about it, as I'm not even in a relationship.

MiCkiZ88
07-05-10, 10:24
I do want to get married, but I do think the only thing we are going to do is getting engaged. A little less formal, but still official.

The problem with the both of us is that we are flirty, which causes jealousy on both sides for no reason at all.

Archetype
07-05-10, 10:35
Actually, you're right about that one, I've got to edit the order of service! Thanks ofr reminding me!

Our order of service, and a large part of the wedding, is themed around Lego. Especially this:
http://ny-image1.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.114163113.jpg



I used to eat lego (as a child of course), better not invite me O_O

rowanlim
07-05-10, 10:59
Yes I want to be married some day but ATM I'm not interested in having a relationship now, too much on my mind :D

disneyprincess20
07-05-10, 11:00
I used to eat lego (as a child of course), better not invite me O_O

If there's some lego left after the wedding, I'll invite you over to eat it! :D

da tomb raider!
07-05-10, 11:00
I don't think that marriage is a bad idea exactly, but I do think that it's incredibly difficult to make it work. Personally I can't be bothered to try anymore.

Antonio
07-05-10, 11:10
Do I want to get married someday? Yes, but not soon.To me marriage is last thing I should worry about and I don't want to rush in, right now I want to enjoy my life how it is and focus on my work, projects and study.;)

Who knows, when I met a girl of my dreams and she is willing to be with me, married or not I want to spend rest of my life with her. I'm hoping for that day.:D

MattTR
07-05-10, 11:30
Yes, I eventually do. I'll find a place where gay marriage is legal and have a Tomb Raider themed wedding.. ;) :D

AmericanAssassin
07-05-10, 11:33
I want to get married, have kids, and all that kind of stuff. Heck, I'd love a white picket fence. :p

asherz
07-05-10, 11:47
The thought of marriage doesn't do anything for me. Not right now anyway.

marla_biggs
07-05-10, 12:00
I can't see myself ever getting married.

Rai
07-05-10, 12:01
I always wanted to get married when I was younger, but that was the fantasy of the wedding more than anything. Now I feel that love and commitment is not reliant on the legal side of it or even a religious one. I do believe in monogamy though and being with that one person for the rest of your life. I'd like to meet a man who feels the same way as me and can love me. I'm losing hope though as time goes by.

Legend of Lara
07-05-10, 12:02
I can't see myself ever getting married.

Same here.
But hey, maybe that'll change. I'm still young.

]{eith
07-05-10, 12:46
Yes, I would like to get married someday.

dizzydoil
07-05-10, 12:47
I would also like to get married someday. Should we plan now Keith? DON'T HURT ME NATE! :hug:

jaywalker
07-05-10, 12:51
I come from a close family and it's taught me that marriage is an important thing and something I aim to have in life, as well as children... and I'm lucky enough to have met someone who wants exactly the same as me... just the fact that money (ie we have none) stands in the way at the moment!

:) :hug: tis definitely something in my life plan.. spending rest of it with u :)

irjudd
07-05-10, 12:52
Yes, I like being married. I knew from a young age I'd like to someday, and I don't regret it now.
Do you think it's silly for an atheist to want to get married?I don't know if I'd call it silly, but I believe that if I were an atheist I wouldn't be interested in getting married, since marriage to me is a just as much spiritual as it is legal.

remote91
07-05-10, 12:52
One day.. maybe

Doby
07-05-10, 12:55
this may sound silly... but i don't believe you have to marry someone to prove you're comitted to them, nor get married to proved that you love them either.

I agree.

]{eith
07-05-10, 13:02
Should we plan now Keith?

They'll never understand. Let's elope!

Lemmie
07-05-10, 13:05
I wouldn't mind getting married, but it would be for legal reasons other than anything else. It doesn't mean much to me.

Dennis's Mom
07-05-10, 13:07
Twenty-two years later, I think I'm starting to believe in marriage . . . .:D

I agree that marriage is not a requirement to commitment. I felt married to my husband long before we actually got married.

However, for all you "just live together happily ever after crowd", I just want to point out marriage does more things than give you a public party saying you plan to stay together forever. It gives you legal rights. The right to direct care should one of you fall ill, the right to inherit possessions.

No one likes to think these situations will ever happen, but you don't want to wait until the hospital starts deferring to your partner's parent's wishes for care, or the parents inherit that car that was "yours" even though it was in your partner's name. Oh, you might think these things will never happen, your that your partner's family would never treat you badly, but think again: illness and death does strange things to people. I've seen it happen. If you truly love that person, you protect them, and marriage is one of the best ways to protect them.

This is why gay marriage should be legal. It's unconscionable in my opinion that this legal status, which could be so effortlessly granted, is held hostage to religion. Marriage has always been about legalities; only recently has it become about "love ever after."

igonge
07-05-10, 13:08
I dunno. I want children and I would try hard to make my marriage work for my family. But I'm just not sure. I mean, a bit of paper saying you're married isn't needed to proclaim your love for your partner.

I'm undecided.

disneyprincess20
07-05-10, 13:10
This is why gay marriage should be legal. It's unconscionable in my opinion that this legal status, which could be so effortlessly granted, is held hostage to religion. Marriage has always been about legalities; only recently has it become about "love ever after."

Absolutely agree! :tmb:

Lemmie
07-05-10, 13:11
This is why gay marriage should be legal. It's unconscionable in my opinion that this legal status, which could be so effortlessly granted, is held hostage to religion. Marriage has always been about legalities; only recently has it become about "love ever after."

Very well said! :)

Andyroo
07-05-10, 13:14
This is why gay marriage should be legal. It's unconscionable in my opinion that this legal status, which could be so effortlessly granted, is held hostage to religion. Marriage has always been about legalities; only recently has it become about "love ever after."

Very very well said! :tmb:

:D

Capt. Murphy
07-05-10, 13:18
If I were to actually be married that would be fantastic. You know. Like a fantasy, or fairy-tale. :wve:

I was stupid enough to fall in love with someone I couldn't be with nor is it morally acceptable. So, I've decided to hope, pray, and wish that she and her ex-husband/boyfriend (the person she's living with) that they renew their love and passion for each other, that she feels no guilt for ever having had any feelings for me, forgets about me completely, and that if her husband finds out about me -that he can forgive her.

ShadyCroft
07-05-10, 13:25
^ Its alright, Capt! These things happen unfortunately, falling in love with someone you shouldn't fall for, or someone very far a way, or someone you couldn't be with. :( I hope things work for with you with any trouble.

For me, marriage is like the icing, the last ingredient, to a much more important thing which is partnership. For me, its much more important to be with some who loves me and I love him, someone who wants to share his hours with me, a movie, a song, a dance, as well as challenges and difficulties.

Marrying for the sake of marrying or reproduction, or because society and people tell you "you're 30, you should be married already" is stupid in my opinion, and unfortunately I see this a lot here.

Marriage is of course not for everyone, but being someone who loves company and passion, someone who likes to be with someone who tells him sweet words, someone to share things with, I definitely would love to get married.

silviu_raider
07-05-10, 13:28
^ Its alright, Capt! These things happen unfortunately, falling in love with someone you shouldn't fall for, or someone very far a way, or someone you couldn't be with. :( I hope things work for with you with any trouble.

For me, marriage is like the icing, the last ingredient, to a much more important thing which is partnership. For me, its much more important to be with some who loves me and I love him, someone who wants to share his hours with me, a movie, a song, a dance, as well as challenges and difficulties.

Marrying for the sake of marrying or reproduction, or because society and people tell you "you're 30, you should be married already" is stupid in my opinion, and unfortunately I see this a lot here.

Marriage is of course not for everyone, but being someone who loves company and passion, someone who likes to be with someone who tells him sweet words, someone to share things with, I definitely would love to get married.
I totally agree and love the way you said it!:cln::D

Sgt BOMBULOUS
07-05-10, 13:36
This coming September will be 4 years :D

Dennis's Mom
07-05-10, 13:38
Marrying for the sake of marrying or reproduction,

This was the purpose of marriage for millennia, however. Remember, for most of human history, the family was the primary unit of society. You married to further the family's interests, not because you were in "love". The marriage was the mechanism by which this happened.

The problem is that people confuse "marriage" with "living happily ever after." That simply is not what marriage is. Marriage isn't an "expression of love;" it's a binding agreement for forge a life together. This is why marriage vows are fairly explicit regarding the "in sickness and in health" type stuff. Marriage isn't about "being happy" or "being in love." People who go into with that idea only will be sorely disappointed and be divorced once the bloom fades. Don't get me wrong--love helps immensely, but like minded ideals, similar tastes and mutual respect go much farther.

Capt. Murphy, your attitude is certainly commendable, but there's still joy for you to be found. Just be aware and open to the possibility. ;)

suli
07-05-10, 13:44
I would love to get married someday.. for me finding the person that I love deeply and spend the rest of my life with would be the ultimate goal of my life :hug:

ShadyCroft
07-05-10, 14:12
I totally agree and love the way you said it!

thanks, Silviu ! :)

This was the purpose of marriage for millennia, however. Remember, for most of human history, the family was the primary unit of society. You married to further the family's interests, not because you were in "love". The marriage was the mechanism by which this happened.

I am aware with this and agree with it. :) We have to have kids if we want to continue our existence, but what I meant was, if 2 people are going to be married because they want to have kids only, I find it silly.

I do want to have a kid, but I want to have it with someone I love (that sounded kinda weird, seeing as I'm gay...I had and have IVF and a surrogate mother in mind :p)
For me its much more important to know that this person is whom I wanna spend my life with..having kids comes later on.

We don't have that much dating here, and a large percentage of marriages here is arranged. People get married because "this is how its supposed to be" and then they have kids, and after the do they realize they dont work well together.

I do believe in love and wanting to be with someone and no one else and the "happily ever after", but I do understand that not every hour is a happy hour, but even so, I believe that if you truly love someone and that someone loves you, then even in a none happy hour, the fact that you're together trying to win the bad hour makes it slightly happy.

miss.haggard
07-05-10, 14:55
I am married, and I love it. I think that in most cases, yes, it is a failure because people rush into it without thinking, just wanting the status of being married, the attention... or the gifts! But before you enter into a marriage you should think how you and your partner get along; how often do you fight? Over what? Could you run a business together? How honest are you? There are a million things, and the most important is do you have the same beliefs? No just religious, but how to raise a child, how to handle money and so on. You need to spend a good chunk of time talking this through before you decide to go through with it.

Is it silly for an atheist to get married? No. While for some people it is something you do before God, for others it may be to just to celebrate each others love.

ShadyCroft
07-05-10, 15:13
I am married, and I love it. I think that in most cases, yes, it is a failure because people rush into it without thinking, just wanting the status of being married, the attention... or the gifts! But before you enter into a marriage you should think how you and your partner get along; how often do you fight? Over what? Could you run a business together? How honest are you? There are a million things, and the most important is do you have the same beliefs? No just religious, but how to raise a child, how to handle money and so on. You need to spend a good chunk of time talking this through before you decide to go through with it.

cant say anything except I agree. :tmb:

*sigh* you just reminded me of someone who got married to a girl in an arranged marriage.
His mom went around and asked for a decent girl who's educated and available. He saw her once and accepted to marry her. They did meet a few times during the wedding arrangement.
However, after they got married, whenever we got together, the mother would start having a go at some of the stuff the girl does while raising the baby or other issues as well.

xXhayleyroxXx
07-05-10, 15:15
I dreamt of it since I was young. Yes please.

HappyShannon
07-05-10, 15:17
I'd love to get married someday, but I don't really see it happening for me :p

I'm going to be the crazy cat lady :D

Sgt BOMBULOUS
07-05-10, 15:24
I am married, and I love it. I think that in most cases, yes, it is a failure because people rush into it without thinking, just wanting the status of being married, the attention... or the gifts! But before you enter into a marriage you should think how you and your partner get along; how often do you fight? Over what? Could you run a business together? How honest are you? There are a million things, and the most important is do you have the same beliefs? No just religious, but how to raise a child, how to handle money and so on. You need to spend a good chunk of time talking this through before you decide to go through with it.

Is it silly for an atheist to get married? No. While for some people it is something you do before God, for others it may be to just to celebrate each others love.

There are three things that are monumentally important to have figured out (at least as best as possible) before tying the knot: Money, Family, and Intimacy. Any of those three can destroy a marriage easily.

tonyme
07-05-10, 15:27
I've always had this concept of what would happen in later years of my life: I'd get married and have kids, and have a great life. Starting a family has always been a passion for me, as I love kids to death and I always wanted to have them. That all changed one year and 2 months ago.

NightsGoneSour
07-05-10, 15:33
Well...I'm a free spirit I'll never have kids or get married. I'll meet someone who I love dearly well I want to but I don't think putting a ring on your finger and saying "I do" when you and your boyfriend/girlfriend say "I love you so much" everday and provide money, gifts, sex, kisses, make-outs, someone to talk to and someone who becomes your bestfriend which already proves your committed.

Thank god. That's sorted. :)

xXhayleyroxXx
07-05-10, 16:06
I've always had this concept of what would happen in later years of my life: I'd get married and have kids, and have a great life. Starting a family has always been a passion for me, as I love kids to death and I always wanted to have them. That all changed one year and 2 months ago.

why did it change?

Buffy87
07-05-10, 16:12
I want to get married yeah. Hopefully if someone will have me hehe. Not for a good few years yet though as I want to establish myself in my career before I even think about settling down.

I have the wedding all planned out in my head though - either going to get married in the Temple Church in London ( which I can do as I am a member of Middle Temple) or in a nice big country house/manor in Ireland somewhere, celebrate my Irish roots! I want a proper big, princess style dress - long train , big skirt, veil. And I want it to be a ceremony just for family and very close friends.

Marriage is definatley something I want - but then again I am not sure if that is simply because my parents have been married for nearly 30 years and they have an excellent relationship. I have a good role model in the sense of knowing what kind of marriage I want and what a marriage should be because of how my parent's are.

lara c. fan
07-05-10, 16:14
I'd probably make sure I have some form of financial security before I'd start considering :p

FourBalls
07-05-10, 17:37
Yes I do want to get married one day. Unlike some people I know, I like the idea of spending my life with just one person - the person who loves me just as much as I love them :)

TippingWater
07-05-10, 17:37
Yes I do want to get married one day. Unlike some people I know, I like the idea of spending my life with just one person - the person who loves me just as much as I love them :)

Yeah , I agree , it's a nice fantasy :tmb: .

FourBalls
07-05-10, 17:40
Yeah , I agree , it's a nice fantasy :tmb: .
A girl can dream, can't she :p

Encore
07-05-10, 17:42
God, no. I'd make a terrible mom, and as for wife, well..... LMAO!!!

No.

ace_85
07-05-10, 18:01
I don't really have any answers for this one. I'm getting married in 5 weeks' time, and there's nothing more I can say except that when you're with the right person you'll just know - it feels like a natural thing to do. I'm atheistic, so the religious angle to it is fairly irrelevant to me. It comes down to a single element for me - I wouldn't want to be with, and can't imagine being happy with, anyone else besides my fianceÚ. To my mind, that's a good enough reason to make a public declaration of it :hug:

aurora89
07-05-10, 18:39
I refuse to get married until we have marriage equality in the US. Even then I may not though. I get nervous committing to which colour suitcase I want! I've already decided not to get tattoos or anything because as soon as I did I'd want them off. XD I'd rather just travel the world with some longterm partners...

aurora89
07-05-10, 18:41
God, no. I'd make a terrible mom, and as for wife, well..... LMAO!!!

No.

What does being a mom have to do with getting married? Particularly in this day and age? :p

ShadyCroft
07-05-10, 19:44
I don't really have any answers for this one. I'm getting married in 5 weeks' time

Congratulations ! Wishing you both the best ! :D


I've always had this concept of what would happen in later years of my life: I'd get married and have kids, and have a great life. Starting a family has always been a passion for me, as I love kids to death and I always wanted to have them. That all changed one year and 2 months ago.

Wrong, wrong and so so wrong ! You can still get a family, even with the changes of the 1 year and 2 months. :)

CerebralAssassin
08-05-10, 03:15
Lol be mindful, he plays mindgames :p but then I agree Mrs CerebralAssassin has a nice ring to it.

hahaha....remember that beauty of a prank I pulled on ya?:p

It's all set then. As of this weekend, I will be deemed Mrs. CerebralAssassin. Has a nice ring to it!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_smnDcduibfQ/SQEXKGoWdPI/AAAAAAAAEg4/3GCWIHDLeO4/s400/housewife5.jpg

Oh honey, dinner is ready.

.... dinner is getting cold, dear.

GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE AND EAT YOUR FREAKIN' DINNER!!!!!!

hehehehe....Mrs.CA,we have a lot of invitations to send out,so get crackin':p:cln:

God, no. I'd make a terrible mom, and as for wife, well..... LMAO!!!

No.

awww....you'll never know until you try

Encore
08-05-10, 03:24
What does being a mom have to do with getting married? Particularly in this day and age? :p

I mentioned them as two separate things. I know they're not always connected.

But, since you've asked, I think most people that get married hope to have children some day.

[joker voice] It's all part of the plan. [/joker voice]


awww....you'll never know until you try

I doubt there's someone out there insane enough to take me. :cln:

Seriously though, I don't know the future, I don't know if I'll ever meet someone special, so I can't discard the idea completely, it just seems way too unlikely ATM.

Tonyrobinson
08-05-10, 04:54
I'm not opposed to marriage but I'm not for it either. I say if the relationship works then go for it but you can still be together forever without it. Plus I really think it isn't as drastic for a child to deal with a married couple divorcing opposed to ones who are unmarried seperating. This I know from experience watching my sisters kids growing up as she was not married to their father :)

EmeraldFields
08-05-10, 06:43
Ummm... no. Marriage just seems like too much work. :p

aktrekker
08-05-10, 06:45
And living together isn't?

EmeraldFields
08-05-10, 06:49
And living together isn't?

I wouldn't want to live together with someone either. :p

Being with another person for the rest of your life sounds uncomfortable IMO.

Draco
08-05-10, 06:51
Marriage, yeah. Kids, probably will adopt.

tonyme
08-05-10, 09:42
Wrong, wrong and so so wrong ! You can still get a family, even with the changes of the 1 year and 2 months. :)

I don't know!:(

xXhayleyroxXx
08-05-10, 10:03
I don't know!:(

before i asked why your aspiration to have kids has changed mr :pi: reply :p

kthnxbai
08-05-10, 10:39
I personally don't see much point in marriage...

If you love the person and are committed to each other it shouldn't matter.

That said, I'm not opposed to it in any way... I wouldn't be bothered getting married myself, but if I was with a guy who wanted to I would.

Would sooooo not have kids though... my crazy is hereditary and it's dying with me

Alive_and_Funky
08-05-10, 10:51
I love the thought of having a wife someday. For me, there would probably come a time when saying "my girlfriend" wouldn't sound strong enough, you know? I just really love the thought of being able to say "my wife" someday. The word "wife" sounds like a really nice word to me. :D

I think stability comes into it too. I'm not sure if it's just where a married couple breaking up would take a lot more effort than one where a marriage isn't involved, but I would feel a lot more comfortable being married to my (hopefully) lifelong partner as the idea of being married would ease my mind, because without it I'm not sure if I would be able to escape the feeling of the possibility of my relationship ending without any notice.

hehehehe....Mrs.CA,we have a lot of invitations to send out,so get crackin':p:cln:
Don't forget to invite me! :D

Aw, I think you would both make a cute couple. XD

Punaxe
08-05-10, 11:18
Partnership is not something I currently pursue: I do not presume I will ever find someone, nor am I (actively) looking for someone. In fact my default position is that I will not find anyone, and in that light my life currently focuses on making the most of a future for me alone, without a partner (which is also what my signature is about :p).
That does not mean however that I would not very much like to have someone. The future I have in mind for me very much includes what people call "settling down", and while realistically I will probably be doing this by myself, ideally, I will not. And yes, should it indeed be ideal, I would probably want to marry, as I feel it would strengthen the bond, in more than one aspect.

Do you think it's silly for an atheist to want to get married?

I think that is a silly question. The church has been trying to convince people that marriage is a sacred, religious matter, but as with so many things, marriage has been around long before the church absorbed it and as Dennis's Mom has explained so well, it is primarily a legal agreement. In the Netherlands a church marriage is illegal, unless it is preceeded by a civil marriage. The church marriage is an optional celebration for those who want it, but holds no meaning at all for anyone else.

Kerrigan
08-05-10, 14:20
I'm not sure if I want to get married, but not because of statistics saying marriages don't last, they seem kind of irrelevant here. The reason why I haven't dwelled on this is that I simply haven't found anyone to inspire such a decision for now. So I presume I'll probably want to when I'm older and have been in a significantly long-term relationship. I really, really don't want to be alone when I'll get old and no one would want me. Also, I'm probably generalising here, but all unmarried/single old people I know seem painfully bitter. So I might compromise and get married to someone even if I don't get the feeling of having found my "soulmate" or something like that, and I don't think that's pathetic.

Alive_and_Funky
08-05-10, 16:33
Also, I'm probably generalising here, but all unmarried/single old people I know seem painfully bitter. So I might compromise and get married to someone even if I don't get the feeling of having found my "soulmate" or something like that, and I don't think that's pathetic.
That is a real gamble though. You might even end up with someone horrible, which would be far worse than being alone.

Encore
08-05-10, 16:47
That is a real gamble though. You might even end up with someone horrible, which would be far worse than being alone.

Oh I absolutely agree.

Domestic abuse sounds fun enough? :p

Kerrigan
08-05-10, 17:21
That is a real gamble though. You might even end up with someone horrible, which would be far worse than being alone.

I should have said "someone I like and get along with". Of course I wouldn't marry anyone, I would have to spend quite a few years in a relationship before taking that into consideration, I just wanted to point out that I don't have an idealized-Disney version of marriage, as in I'll only get married if I find that one person whom I would sacrifice anything for. I doubt I'd be able to feel that for someone, no matter how much I liked them anyway.

Catracoth
08-05-10, 22:35
I hope to marry my fiancÚ someday :hug:. As I'm sure we will.

Uzi master
08-05-10, 22:42
I hope to marry my fiancÚ someday :hug:. As I'm sure we will.

well Im pretty sure fiance meens your getting married:p


for me, I dont know really...

Melonie Tomb Raider
08-05-10, 23:13
hehehehe....Mrs.CA,we have a lot of invitations to send out,so get crackin':p:cln:


Yes dear, we must invite the entire forum! Perhaps Justin will be your best man? And Elen can be my maid of honor? We can put ribbons in |{eith's beautiful hair, and he would make a fabulous flower girl!

So many plans, so little time! :eek:

Paddy
09-05-10, 01:02
hahaha....remember that beauty of a prank I pulled on ya?:p

Yup but remember me fooling you into thinking I failed an exam ? :p
Or the one convincing you I was turning Buddhist lol

woody543
10-05-10, 00:06
I personally don't see the point, or feel the need for marriage. I think however that if people want children it would be best to be married, but then that can **** them up in the long run if you ever split up.

I however don't want children or to be married so all is well.