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TippingWater
31-08-10, 17:06
Did you came out of the closet ?
What was your experience like ? Did you have any bad experiences ? Do you have any advice for people ,especially young people that are considering coming out of the closet ? Share your coming out stories . Discuss . . . Keep this thread positive , don't post anything hateful , if you hate LGBT people just avoid this thread . Thanks ! Peace out !





!NOTE!
The previous thread by IceColdLaraCroft about coming out would have had a better chance if it was called When did you come out.... as gay ? instead of When did you come out.... as straight? imo .

jackles
31-08-10, 17:07
The previous thread would have had a better chance if straight people actually had to come out....

TippingWater
31-08-10, 17:08
The previous thread would have had a better chance if straight people actually had to come out....

:hug:

Draco
31-08-10, 17:14
Some straight people do have to come out lol, or else nobody would know they were straight.

TippingWater
31-08-10, 17:16
Some straight people do have to come out lol, or else nobody would know they were straight.

True , true :vlol: . Especially since nowadays everyone is into labeling others .

MiCkiZ88
31-08-10, 17:19
My dad cried. Not because he was upset, just glad that I could trust him.

TippingWater
31-08-10, 17:22
My dad cried. Not because he was upset, just glad that I could trust him.

That's great ! :hug:

FloTheMachine
31-08-10, 17:46
My best friend came out of the closet to me and it hasn't affected our friendship. I hate the sort of people who act all akward to their friends who turn out gay :mad:

Draco
31-08-10, 17:47
Of course its awkward. The guy you hang around with is suddenly someone who might be attracted to you, who wouldn't have to ponder that for a spell?

trXD
31-08-10, 17:52
Of course its awkward. The guy you hang around with is suddenly someone who might be attracted to you, who wouldn't have to ponder that for a spell?

How is that awkward?

There is a chance, just as much as there is a chance any of your straight opposite sex friends are attracted to you, it's very little.

I dunno, I just find it weird that some people think like that, just chill out maybe? (not talking to you specifically)

Draco
31-08-10, 17:54
I can't speak for you obviously, but all my straight opposite sex friends like me :p

And how do you know he doesn't like you like that? I mean, it is possible.

trXD
31-08-10, 17:55
I can't speak for you obviously, but all my straight opposite sex friends like me :p

lol seriously?

That is a bit ****ed up if you don't mind me saying, unless you only have one or two.

_Lam
31-08-10, 17:55
I did ! Last christmas.

I was so nervous that I suffered from anxiety trouble. I had to see a doctor because and she helps me discovering the true problem, I was ****ing scared of rejection. The first guys I told helped me A LOT ! In fact, he helped me becoming the men I am now.

I couldn't handle the anxiety anymore so I told the rest of my friends and you know what. THEY DON'T ****ING CARE ! I really don't look gay and they didn't expect it but nobody never went bad with me, even my troublemakers friends that I thought would beat me, they don't care.

In fact they all told me this : "I don't care that you are gay, that you love man, I just can't stand those who are more feminines and you aren't so I don't care" I'm even surprise how open they are, sometimes more than me !

So I would say that now probably everyone knows it except my family, but not a lot of people talk to me about that because it's not something that I fully want to expose, I don't feel like I need to. Life out of the close it 10000000 times better trust me.

Draco
31-08-10, 17:56
Nothing wrong with it, just call me Cat.

larafan25
31-08-10, 17:57
Of course its awkward. The guy you hang around with is suddenly someone who might be attracted to you, who wouldn't have to ponder that for a spell?

It can be awkward, but you never want it to be.

It's like 2 friends who date from a larger circle of friends, then they break up and it's awkward.

It's also awkward when you have girls asking you out when you do not feel those feelings for them, then it becomes awkward, especially if you were friends with them.:pi:

Coming out always makes me want to crap out my mouth.

My coming out experience was like...well...my life spiraled out of control and it was just another thing to get off my chest...I didn't have to say "I'm gay" I was asked...however then I learn that my entire family already knew because of my sister being a big mouth.

Draco
31-08-10, 17:59
Basically, you can't blame someone for changing what they think about you. Because to them you are different.

trXD
31-08-10, 18:01
Basically, you can't blame someone for changing what they think about you. Because to them you are different.

Except no.

I don't think about gay people that way anymore, they are just the same apart from they date men instead of women, it doesn't change their personality or their attributes, so why would people change what they think about them?

t-raider26
31-08-10, 18:01
I told my mom a few months ago. She got a bit teary eyed, but she wasn't upset. I'm certain she knew though, so it was nbd. And she told my dad for me. Apparently he wasn't so cool with it, but we have yet to talk to each other about it.

And all of my close friends know. They were all fine with it. But one of my guy friends hasnt spoken to me since. It may be because I'm gay. Or it may be something else, I really dont know...

larafan25
31-08-10, 18:02
Basically, you can't blame someone for changing what they think about you. Because to them you are different.

That's right you can't....however these people need to remember that nothing has changed (especially if the person never liked you and never will) and get themselves back in that comfort zone.

I don't think it's homophobic or anything like that, it just takes time for some people to get used to.....Perhaps no more friendly sleepovers for a while...:pi:

Draco
31-08-10, 18:04
Except no.

I don't think about gay people that way anymore, they are just the same apart from they date men instead of women, it doesn't change their personality or their attributes, so why would people change what they think about them?

Except yes, they have to think about everything that you did together and wonder if any of it was because you are gay. Maybe it is unfounded, but it is simple elementary psychology.

t-raider26
31-08-10, 18:06
Except no.

I don't think about gay people that way anymore, they are just the same apart from they date men instead of women, it doesn't change their personality or their attributes, so why would people change what they think about them?

But some people were raised to believe otherwise. You cant help that.

trXD
31-08-10, 18:07
Except yes, they have to think about everything that you did together and wonder if any of it was because you are gay. Maybe it is unfounded, but it is simple elementary psychology.

How could being gay effect anything they did together?

Okay so there are exceptions when maybe someone has been hinting to be attracted to there friend and then come out to them, but other than that there it's unhealthy to think of being gay as a change of the person, its a change of their lifestyle but not their personality.

@t-raider, no you can't but you can dis encourage it.

larafan25
31-08-10, 18:09
I don't think this specific concept here has to do with how your raised.

Someone you were friends with for a long time tells you that he is gay, you think back about a lot and wonder if he ever had a thing for you....there is some sort of comfort level I guess.

You should respect though when someone tells you that they do not have feelings for you that they mean it.

Just because I am gay doesn't mean I like all men.

t-raider26
31-08-10, 18:09
How could being gay effect anything they did together?

Okay so there are exceptions when maybe someone has been hinting to be attracted to there friend and then come out to them, but other than that there it's unhealthy to think of being gay as a change of the person, its a change of their lifestyle but not their personality.

But not everybody thinks that way. And chances are those people will never change their opinions of the LGBT community.

trXD
31-08-10, 18:12
But not everybody thinks that way. And chances are those people will never change their opinions of the LGBT community.

That's a whole different matter altogether.

Draco
31-08-10, 18:13
How could being gay effect anything they did together?

Okay so there are exceptions when maybe someone has been hinting to be attracted to there friend and then come out to them, but other than that there it's unhealthy to think of being gay as a change of the person, its a change of their lifestyle but not their personality.

@t-raider, no you can't but you can dis encourage it.

I never said it changed anything, but they still have to digest it. Even when they supposedly openly support you coming out, that just means they are thinking about it quietly.

I mean seriously, you can't expect someone to not think about it. And coming out is a change in lifestyle how exactly? From lying to everyone to being honest? Or is there more to it?

Dunnut7
31-08-10, 18:13
When there's a thread about 'gay', it's always very active.

t-raider26
31-08-10, 18:13
That's a whole different matter altogether.

How so?

trXD
31-08-10, 18:15
I never said it changed anything, but they still have to digest it. Even when they supposedly openly support you coming out, that just means they are thinking about it quietly.

I mean seriously, you can't expect someone to not think about it. And coming out is a change in lifestyle how exactly? From lying to everyone to being honest? Or is there more to it?

I honestly do expect people not to think twice about it, as shocking as that might sound to you, and that is gladly what some people do, it shouldn't be something you have to digest.

I meant being gay is a change in lifestyle.

How so?

About how people will never change their opinions about stuff like accepting gays as normal, we could go into that, but it could last forever and isn't really necessary to what I was saying.

HappyShannon
31-08-10, 18:16
When there's a thread about 'gay', it's always very active.

This is a thread about advice on how to come out though, which is pretty helpful to some people. :p

I can only think of two other threads about homosexuality that were/are popular - the LGBT thread and one called something like "What's being gay like?" :)

Draco
31-08-10, 18:16
I honestly do expect people not to think twice about it, and that is gladly what some people do, it shouldn't be something you have to digest.

I meant being gay is a change in lifestyle.

Seriously? So when people openly tell you their biggest secret, it never impacts how you think of them? I call BS... BS

larafan25
31-08-10, 18:17
I never said it changed anything, but they still have to digest it. Even when they supposedly openly support you coming out, that just means they are thinking about it quietly.

I mean seriously, you can't expect someone to not think about it. And coming out is a change in lifestyle how exactly? From lying to everyone to being honest? Or is there more to it?

I think some friends take it as a slap in the face that you felt as though you couldn't come out to them, however it's friggin scary.O.O

However I must try to appraoch this from an opposite way....Perhaps I had a girl friend who was lesbian (we are in a twilight universe guys) and she hadn't come out as straight yet....then when she did I'd be wondering..."Hmmm... did she has feelings for me?" and might be a bit awkward for a while.

When there's a thread about 'gay', it's always very active.

Correct.

t-raider26
31-08-10, 18:18
I think we're getting very off topic

lara c. fan
31-08-10, 18:18
This is a thread about advice on how to come out though, which is pretty helpful to some people. :p


I haven't seen much advice in here...

xcrushterx
31-08-10, 18:18
When there's a thread about 'gay', it's always very active.
Well there are a lot of gay people here, what do you expect? :p

larafan25
31-08-10, 18:19
I think we're getting very off topic

Not at all.....it's about coming out.

HappyShannon
31-08-10, 18:20
I haven't seen much advice in here...

I said it's about advice...

People are mostly discussing the level of awkwardness when someone comes out as gay though :pi:

I'll try and get it started? :p


I'm 13, I'm bisexual, I'd like some advice on coming out to my real-life friends :D:p
*Prepares to be ignored*

trXD
31-08-10, 18:20
@HappyShannon, lol sorry, but I couldn't really give that sort of advice.

Seriously? So when people openly tell you their biggest secret, it never impacts how you think of them? I call BS... BS

It obviously depends on what the secret is, of course there are some secrets that shouldn't be much of a big deal.

What makes you think it is automatically a "biggest secret", and if you don't think that, why are you using that in a general example then?

larafan25
31-08-10, 18:21
It obviously depends on what the secret is, of course there are some secrets that shouldn't be much of a big deal.

What makes you think it is automatically a "biggest secret", and if you don't think that, why are you using that in a general example then?

So true...what if you killed someone and were gay!:eek:

toxicraider
31-08-10, 18:25
all my straight opposite sex friends like me :p


So what difference does it make if it's a guy?


BTW there is a gay community with the exact same thread, and there's an LGBT thread that seemed like a good idea at the time.

Why are you referring Straight people as Breeders? Sounds like a derogatory term for them? If gay people could breed, I wouldn't like to be called it :( Not all straight people have children you know... And some are infertile.

Just thought I'd point it out...


He was quoting what another member said.

t-raider26
31-08-10, 18:27
I said it's about advice...

People are mostly discussing the level of awkwardness when someone comes out as gay though :pi:

I'll try and get it started? :p


I'm 13, I'm bisexual, I'd like some advice on coming out to my real-life friends :D:p
*Prepares to be ignored*

*doesnt ignore you*
:D

For me, coming out to my friends was nbd at all. Mostly because I knew they'd be ok with it... However it is extremely hard to work it into everyday conversation. Like I wouldn't just wanna be like

Hi
Hi
Wassup
Oh nothing much, hbu?
Not much, I'm gay
:pi:

So what you should do is bring up gay marriage for example. And ask your friends if they're for or against it, so you know if they'd be ok with it. Then just go on from there :)

larafan25
31-08-10, 18:28
Why are you referring Straight people as Breeders? Sounds like a derogatory term for them? If gay people could breed, I wouldn't like to be called it :( Not all straight people have children you know... And some are infertile.

Just thought I'd point it out...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyways, as for me I came out 2 years ago, didn't go down too well :o

Especially when you have friends who tell other people your gay, when you get introduced to them -_-'
It gets really annoying, I mean I don't disrespect them or dislike them, but it does get OTT at times.

Thankfully my best friend was okay with me, except he was still convinced it was wrong due to what we learned in RE. So he thought it was okay to say harsh out of order things about me... :/ But he stopped eventually, thank goodness.

Though around 100 people knowing from my school I'm gay (Including my bro & sis). My parents have yet to find out, though I think my mum already knows... Especially after she watched Prayers For Bobby, (which I could tell as I could hear it on TV downstairs) she started talking less about me being married to a girl etc... in the future.
However she doesn't stop mentioning about me having children in the future. If she knows I'm gay and thinks I'm gonna adopt a child, I'm chucking her in the bin. I've told her, I don't want to raise children, I couldn't bear the stress of raising them.

As for college, only one guy knows and he hasn't told anyone else, which is good :) Especially since a guy on my course goes on about how much he hates gays.

If I'm asked if I'm gay in person, I'm in the struggling mode, then I say "No" Providing the people who do know aren't there :o Though at college, I just say "No" :o
If on the Internet, then I'll say yes if I can trust them to be nice...


Part of the the blame over my awkwardness on coming out is due to my mother treating me like a 5 year old, my timid nature and my history over my major medical problems...
Which has resulted me on becoming:

A very quiet unsociable (except e-sociable) un-outgoing child.

Ooooo dayum boi, someone better knock that ***** up!

Joking that's not how we deal with problems.:pi:

larafan25
31-08-10, 18:30
*doesnt ignore you*
:D

For me, coming out to my friends was nbd at all. Mostly because I knew they'd be ok with it... However it is extremely hard to work it into everyday conversation. Like I wouldn't just wanna be like

Hi
Hi
Wassup
Oh nothing much, hbu?
Not much, I'm gay
:pi:

So what you should do is bring up gay marriage for example. And ask your friends if they're for or against it, so you know if they'd be ok with it. Then just go on from there :)

Woah, I don't think that relates so closely.

I am sure there people who will go on about how they do not accept gay marriage (makes me angry thinking about it) however I don't think that same person necessarily hates gay people or something.

Phlip
31-08-10, 18:31
I'm 13, I'm bisexual, I'd like some advice on coming out to my real-life friends :D:p
*Prepares to be ignored*

Be very, VERY careful who you tell. Seriously, even being 100% sure they won't tell anyone else can sometimes not be enough. I've made some bad choices which have really ****ed things up for me.

toxicraider
31-08-10, 18:31
Clickies

When did you come out? or planning to come out? (http://www.tombraiderforums.com/group.php?do=discuss&group=&discussionid=165)

The General LGBT Thread (http://www.tombraiderforums.com/showthread.php?t=167309&highlight=LGBT)

Dunnut7
31-08-10, 18:34
182 members!? That is alot:eek:

larafan25
31-08-10, 18:34
Clickies

When did you come out? or planning to come out? (http://www.tombraiderforums.com/group.php?do=discuss&group=&discussionid=165)

The General LGBT Thread (http://www.tombraiderforums.com/showthread.php?t=167309&highlight=LGBT)

You are right however I would hate for us to have to go to the group to discuss this, I think it's nice right here out in the big congested general chat.:D

t-raider26
31-08-10, 18:37
Oh God, the Gay Community Social Group is such a mess these days :vlol:

toxicraider
31-08-10, 18:38
You are right however I would hate for us to have to go to the group to discuss this, I think it's nice right here out in the big congested general chat.:D
I agree that it is less practical, because straight people wouldn't feel invited to join any discussion in the group, and topics in the LGBT thread were much less active than in a thread of their own. But the thread was made for general discussions like this, and is there to be used and abused.

larafan25
31-08-10, 18:38
Oh God, the Gay Community Group is such a mess these days :vlol:

Shhhh!:pi:

larafan25
31-08-10, 18:39
I agree that it is less practical, because straight people wouldn't feel invited to join any discussion in the group, and topics in the LGBT thread were much less active than in a thread of their own. But the thread was made for general discussions like this, and is there to be used and abused.

So then we should migrate to the general gay chat thread?:)

t-raider26
31-08-10, 18:40
Woah, I don't think that relates so closely.

I am sure there people who will go on about how they do not accept gay marriage (makes me angry thinking about it) however I don't think that same person necessarily hates gay people or something.

If somebody was fully accepting of gay people, then they'd likely support gay marriage

Shhhh!:pi:

http://i33.************/3347udv.jpg

larafan25
31-08-10, 18:41
If somebody was fully accepting of gay people, then they'd likely support gay marriage

I guess....:pi:

adventurerLara
31-08-10, 18:47
182 members!? That is alot:eek:

Not really, considering the percentages.

HappyShannon
31-08-10, 18:48
*doesnt ignore you*
:D

For me, coming out to my friends was nbd at all. Mostly because I knew they'd be ok with it... However it is extremely hard to work it into everyday conversation. Like I wouldn't just wanna be like

Hi
Hi
Wassup
Oh nothing much, hbu?
Not much, I'm gay
:pi:

So what you should do is bring up gay marriage for example. And ask your friends if they're for or against it, so you know if they'd be ok with it. Then just go on from there :)

And I think using the topic of gay marriage would be a bit... obvious :/

I know some of my friends wouldn't really accept it... I've only told one person irl.
And my 'best friend' irl definitely wouldn't... I was once like "Do you think ___ is gay?" and she said "If he is I don't think I'm gonna talk to him again >_>" and stuff like that, so... D:

Be very, VERY careful who you tell. Seriously, even being 100% sure they won't tell anyone else can sometimes not be enough. I've made some bad choices which have really ****ed things up for me.

I will be. Like I said, the one person I told was really trustworthy, she hasn't told anyone and it's been about three or four months since I told her I think :)

Sorry that things got a bit messed up for you D:

toxicraider
31-08-10, 18:49
So then we should migrate to the general gay chat thread?:)
I dunno, it would probably just kill the discussion. :p
Maybe in future xD

If somebody was fully accepting of gay people, then they'd likely support gay marriage


Hmm, I wouldn't say 'fully accepting'. I'm sure some people accept that gay couples should have the right to marry, without condoning people being gay 100%. They still might think it's a choice etc. or that having a gay marriage makes it slightly more acceptable. They might also be very accepting, yet believe that marriage is reserved for man and woman.

Legend 4ever
31-08-10, 19:32
My dad cried. Not because he was upset, just glad that I could trust him.

That is one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. Truly.

lara c. fan
31-08-10, 19:35
I will be. Like I said, the one person I told was really trustworthy, she hasn't told anyone and it's been about three or four months since I told her I think :)


And then you told a forum.... :p

HappyShannon
31-08-10, 19:36
And then you told a forum.... :p

Because this is online, I only know one person irl who plays TR :p They aren't friends with me and they'll never know I'm me :p

Rivendell
31-08-10, 19:40
My dad cried. Not because he was upset, just glad that I could trust him.

^ Made me smile. :tmb:

As for me:
I was worried beforehand but had no reason to be.

My mum thought I was going to say something really terrible like I was 'quitting school', my sister said she already knew, and my brother said .. well, I can't remember what he said as I'd gotten particularly drunk beforehand, but I think it was along the lines of 'as long as you're happy'.
All my friends were fine with it too.

So no bad experiences on my part, thankfully.

t-raider26
31-08-10, 19:44
And I think using the topic of gay marriage would be a bit... obvious :/

I know some of my friends wouldn't really accept it... I've only told one person irl.
And my 'best friend' irl definitely wouldn't... I was once like "Do you think ___ is gay?" and she said "If he is I don't think I'm gonna talk to him again >_>" and stuff like that, so... D:

Well then I wouldn't rush into it :p

Vinkula
31-08-10, 19:45
Well, I've recently noticed that I am Bi :) I am in love with one girl and also with one boy(same gender as I am). Everybody knows about that I am Bi. My closest friends take it "Hey, be who you are" but few (especially boys) are "Oh my god, there he comes" and rest doesn't care... :)

TippingWater
31-08-10, 20:00
Why are you referring Straight people as Breeders? Sounds like a derogatory term for them? If gay people could breed, I wouldn't like to be called it Not all straight people have children you know... And some are infertile.
I know I was just using the term that ICLC used in his thread , to point out the "flaws" in his thread .

TippingWater
31-08-10, 20:14
And then you told a forum.... :p
:vlol:

ancientsecrets
31-08-10, 20:45
Hmm, I wouldn't say 'fully accepting'. I'm sure some people accept that gay couples should have the right to marry, without condoning people being gay 100%. They still might think it's a choice etc. or that having a gay marriage makes it slightly more acceptable. They might also be very accepting, yet believe that marriage is reserved for man and woman.

ok ive read this thread and found it very interesting, all my teenage years i was sure i was Bi, it took a lot of experimenting and thinking and I really worked out what I liked (and i was straight), but all my friends pretty much alienated me during school years...
off topic, the point i wanted to add is about LTGB's and marriage, i see no problem what so ever with it and I wish more people were the same.

Love is what you say to somebody you like very much and need another word for, marriage is a match of souls and personalities, it is about two people who do love and want to show it to one another and the world. and whats wrong with that no matter who??
Im done because sheer ignorance on this matter in the UK angers me beyond belief! :hug:

Phlip
31-08-10, 21:05
Sorry that things got a bit messed up for you D:
It didn't. :p
My dad cried. Not because he was upset, just glad that I could trust him.
Why would your dad cry because his son could trust him? :p
the UK angers me beyond belief! :hug:

I agree with this. It ****s me off that there's no gay marriage in the UK. All we get is ****ty legal recognition. :rolleyes:

On a side note, I hate the expression "coming out (of the closet)."

IceColdLaraCroft
31-08-10, 21:12
I know I was just using the term that ICLC used in his thread , to point out the "flaws" in his thread .

:mad:

My thread wasn't flawed Tinkerbell! j/k

When I came out my dad walked away and didn't say anything to me for about a day. He didn't understand how I could "choose" to be gay and my mom had to talk to him about it not being a choice and she knew from the time i was a child. I didn't really understand it myself until college. All throughout school I was teased everyday and called a fa.g so i thought being gay was something wrong and didn't understand that my attraction to wanting to be kissed by boys meant that I was gay.

MiCkiZ88
31-08-10, 21:24
Why would your dad cry because his son could trust him? :p

It's just something that I cannot explain. You have to experience it yourself in order to fully understand, which I don't think many will have the chance to do so.

Also, I used to lie about pretty much everything during that era, and I finally came out clean about it all and my depression.

Lara Croft!
31-08-10, 21:43
^ Made me smile. :tmb:

As for me:
I was worried beforehand but had no reason to be.

My mum thought I was going to say something really terrible like I was 'quitting school', my sister said she already knew, and my brother said .. well, I can't remember what he said as I'd gotten particularly drunk beforehand, but I think it was along the lines of 'as long as you're happy'.
All my friends were fine with it too.

So no bad experiences on my part, thankfully.

You're gay??? So many years in TRF and I didn't know. At some point I thought you were bi, but I had settled on straight. Like your brother said, as long as you are happy! :hug:

Jo269976
31-08-10, 21:47
Long story short:

Friends were fine with it. Most of my family was fine with it except for my parents. But then they eventually grew to accept it and things couldn't be better. :)

Lara Croft!
31-08-10, 21:50
I read almost all posts in this thread and I'm surprised that all parents, especially the fathers were ok with it. I know that Greek fathers that are in the older generations wouldn't take it lightly. But I don't think it's just the Greeks, people in other countries too, especially older people that are more narrow-minded, would become furious.

TippingWater
31-08-10, 22:08
:mad:

My thread wasn't flawed Tinkerbell! j/k

When I came out my dad walked away and didn't say anything to me for about a day. He didn't understand how I could "choose" to be gay and my mom had to talk to him about it not being a choice and she knew from the time i was a child. I didn't really understand it myself until college. All throughout school I was teased everyday and called a fa.g so i thought being gay was something wrong and didn't understand that my attraction to wanting to be kissed by boys meant that I was gay.

Shut it , Sleeping Beauty , cuz we are in the same boat :p.

:hug: I went to a similar stage in my life :( , it sucked being abused at school everyday for something , that felt so natural to me , and the "funny" thing is that at that time I didn't think that I was gay , so I tried to defend my "hetero" status . I hate bullies , because their bullying have left deep scars in my mind , and I never acted upon my "urges" :rolleyes::mis:, well there weren't any hotties so maybe that's why I didn't show any sign of gayness , and even if there were I wouldn't have started acting all girlish and starred at them :mad: , like the gay stereotypes they use to label quiet innocent and decent boys like me , like I was , but that did not matter because they still made fun of me , and on a few occasions they tried to abuse me physically . Even if they did not kick my ass they called me names in front of teachers , well they basically bullied me until I started skipping school , and I ended hating and inflicted pain on myself . It was horrible , absolutely horrible I did not have anyone , and my parents said I should fight back , but the thing is that I am not that type of person , I hate violence . Nobody understood me , not one single person , and also I have I had a crush on a boy a year older than me that turned into an obsession , and almost made me end my life . And no I wasn't desperate after his body , I wanted to be with him , there wasn't anything sexual about my emotions .

TippingWater
31-08-10, 22:16
Long story short:

Friends were fine with it. Most of my family was fine with it except for my parents. But then they eventually grew to accept it and things couldn't be better. :)
:hug:
I read almost all posts in this thread and I'm surprised that all parents, especially the fathers were ok with it. I know that Greek fathers that are in the older generations wouldn't take it lightly. But I don't think it's just the Greeks, people in other countries too, especially older people that are more narrow-minded, would become furious.

If people would understand that it's not a choice , and that the ones that claim to have changed their sexual orientation , were not gay to begin with I am sure , the world would be a better place . If it were a choice , who in their right mind , would choose to be gay , in a world as intolerant as this ?

Lara Croft!
31-08-10, 22:25
I don't think that this is the problem. If, for example, a child breaks his father's car window while playing ball, it's not his choice, it just happened. I don't think the fact that the boy didn't choose it would make the father less angry.

Draco
31-08-10, 22:40
So what difference does it make if it's a guy?

I don't think anyone here is getting my point. But it isn't always easy to see things from someone else's point of view.

larafan25
31-08-10, 22:55
I don't think anyone here is getting my point. But it isn't always easy to see things from someone else's point of view.

I think I understand your point.

It's awkward because....

A) You have probably spent lots of time with this person and never had any idea that he could have liked you that way or had any idea that he was sexually attracted to your gender.

B) It's different than a girl friend liking you because you are actually attracted to girls.

C) There are new levels of trust to gain and more understanding to be done but once it's done there is nothing different, you just have to realize that had that friend liked you that way or been willing to make the move, it would have been done and the awkward moment would have already broken your friendship (hope not) or been understood and common grounds were made.

Or so I think.:pi:

Phlip
31-08-10, 22:55
Especially when you have friends who tell other people your gay, when you get introduced to them -_-'
It gets really annoying, I mean I don't disrespect them or dislike them, but it does get OTT at times.

Umm try asking them not to then.

lara c. fan
31-08-10, 22:56
Umm try asking them not to then.

Yeah, because that's such a fail-safe fix.

Phlip
31-08-10, 23:01
Yeah, because that's such a fail-safe fix.

ok :confused:

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc80/Phlip_03/Icons%20and%20Smileys/e47.gif

larafan25
31-08-10, 23:07
I have and their response is usually "You're gay, get over it!" :/

These are your friends.....?:pi:

Phlip
31-08-10, 23:11
I have and their response is usually "You're gay, get over it!" :/

If it's something to get over, then why do your friends mention you're gay whenever you meet someone new (even though you've asked them not to)?

It seems these aren't the best friends to have in the world.

Lenochka
31-08-10, 23:16
I have to all of my friends and a few distant cousins but not to my direct family. My mother is rather religious and she doesn't agree with it at all. She kind of knows... She thinks I am Bisexual since one day she kind of cornered me and I was too scared to tell her the truth, so now she keeps acting like every friend I have that is a girl is my 'girlfriend' and keeps asking about who I am dating. I am way too scared to let her know there is no chance of me ever having a wife or going to 'heaven' or whatever. When my uncle came out she cried and seemed ok with it but when he isn't around its pretty obvious she isn't happy with it at all. I particularly remember when he was hanging around with some 40 year old woman who was obviously attracted to him when he was around 18. (he is only a few years older then me.) I asked what she thought about the situation and all she had to say was "I'd rather her straighten him out then him be out with a guy right now." so that wasn't very encouraging in getting me to tell her the truth xD

My dad has never been good with showing support or affection, he has always given me what I need growing up in terms of material things but everything else went out the window when I was around 10 or 11 xD. I don't even know how to approach him about the situation since we rarely talk now.

My family likes to throw around the phrase queer/gay/fag etc. which hurts because I know deep down that they know I am gay... They have to know, It's just really obvious. (The way I speak, my obsession with Britney etc. etc. :p I have NEVER been a masculine guy.)


So yeah, I have yet to come out to my family and I don't know if I ever will be able to. Sometimes I feel my only option is to relocate somewhere and just keep that whole side of myself a secret so they can go on living in denial and thinking whatever makes them happy.

Legends
31-08-10, 23:57
My family likes to throw around the phrase queer/gay/fag etc. which hurts because I know deep down that they know I am gay... They have to know, It's just really obvious. (The way I speak, my obsession with Britney etc. etc. :p I have NEVER been a masculine guy.)


So yeah, I have yet to come out to my family and I don't know if I ever will be able to. Sometimes I feel my only option is to relocate somewhere and just keep that whole side of myself a secret so they can go on living in denial and thinking whatever makes them happy.

That's just awful. That your parents say that kind of things, and you sort of think they know you are gay. How mean is that? :(
Did you came out of the closet ?
What was your experience like ? Did you have any bad experiences ? Do you have any advice for people ,especially young people that are considering coming out of the closet ? Share your coming out stories . Discuss . . . Keep this thread positive , don't post anything hateful , if you hate LGBT people just avoid this thread . Thanks ! Peace out !


The previous thread by IceColdLaraCroft about coming out would have had a better chance if it was called When did you come out.... as gay ? instead of When did you come out.... as straight? imo .
WHY are your text always centered?! It's driving me crazy! :hea: It's super annoying to read, and its like everything you say are confusing lyrics.

Lenochka
01-09-10, 00:04
That's just awful. That your parents say that kind of things, and you sort of think they know you are gay. How mean is that? :(

Yeah, it makes family get togethers pretty awkward. I know after things like that are said they are all thinking the same thing about me and it's just really uncomfortable.

trXD
01-09-10, 00:09
WHY are your text always centered?! It's driving me crazy! :hea: It's super annoying to read, and its like everything you say are confusing lyrics.



... I agree with this.

TippingWater
01-09-10, 00:52
why are your text always centered?! It's driving me crazy! :hea: It's super annoying to read, and its like everything you say are confusing lyrics.



... I agree with this.
bai! :mad:
Well in a way I guess you are right .

Phlip
01-09-10, 00:56
bai! :mad:
Well in a way I guess you are right .

Thanks for making them normal. It was annoying me too. :o

t-raider26
01-09-10, 00:57
I'm pretty sure the rest of my family knows too. My mom has a pretty big mouth. I remember last Christmas my family was all talking and The Ellen Degeneres Show came up in conversation. And one of my Aunts was like "Ellen... she's the gay one right?" then my other Aunt was like "Yes" then she looks directly at me and says "And there's nothing wrong with that". So its just like Gee thanks mom :pi: But I cant really complain, my family is pretty accepting.

VictorXD
01-09-10, 01:01
I came out to three people already (two girls, one dude). I started liking him, and then I told him last week. Now he's all awkard with me, and seems to be avoiding me, isn't that lovely?

Legends
01-09-10, 01:04
bai! :mad:
Well in a way I guess you are right .
:hug:

TippingWater
01-09-10, 01:07
I came out to three people already (two girls, one dude). I started liking him, and then I told him last week. Now he's all awkard with me, and seems to be avoiding me, isn't that lovely?

Poor bb :(:hug: , screw him , well now I don't think you can , but anyway you get the idea , right ?:p The world is full of hot men and porn sites so don't you dare waste your time pursuing an impossible romance with such a , ugh , "close-minded" man :hug:.

Draco
01-09-10, 01:10
How is it closed minded for a straight man to not want to go out with a gay man?

VictorXD
01-09-10, 01:31
Poor bb :(:hug: , screw him , well now I don't think you can , but anyway you get the idea , right ?:p The world is full of hot men and porn sites so don't you dare waste your time pursuing an impossible romance with such a , ugh , "close-minded" man :hug:.

He's not close minded, he's said he's okay with it, lawl. But its just bad that he started being weird, but the worst has come to past :)

scoopy_loopy
01-09-10, 07:24
Don't care for it myself, to be honest.

Could do with less drama in my life, not more.


I usually tell people after I've been friends with them for a few months, or never. I'm never "overtly" gay, unless I'm drunk, in which case I MAY slip up occasionally.

Mikky
01-09-10, 09:38
I don't know. I guess.... maybe... :p

Legend 4ever
01-09-10, 12:37
How is it closed minded for a straight man to not want to go out with a gay man?

Because a lot of straight men don't wanna go out with gay guys because they think others might think they're gay, which means they're not comfortable with themselves and worry too much what others think about them and also because many think that just by being gay, you're attracted to every man out there and want to have sex with them.

jackles
01-09-10, 12:50
Just an idea here....but maybe just because you don't fancy someone doesn't mean you object to their sexuality. I don't fancy some guys who hit on me, that is personal taste.


People can't help who they fancy.....or don't fancy. Thats like implying just because a man is into guys he will sleep with anyone male.

We all get rejected...not matter who we fancy.

TippingWater
01-09-10, 14:45
Legend 4ever , jackles :tmb:

dcw123
01-09-10, 15:36
Luckily both me and my fiancee's (who's 19 yr old lad) families accepted it without a hitch - well not so much his but it all worked out well in the end.

If people really cared about you, they'll understand and stand by you.
''Friends'' who ditch you afterwards aren't real pals at all - real friends stand by you no matter what.

Good Luck to everyone out there who is going through ''coming out''..

TR-Freak
01-09-10, 16:41
I remember the coming out of my brother.
First he was afraid of telling it my parents.
my mother asked then,whats wrong and he told it.
But nothing changed between me and my brother.:hug:

ryan91
01-09-10, 16:47
whoa some traitor bff's you guys had i see :D. i would never tell it ppl if a gay man don't want me to. i never had a gay friend btw. but i wish i had lesbo firends, i like lesbians for some reason they are cool :p

Lara Croft!
01-09-10, 16:48
I remember the coming out of my brother.
First he was afraid of telling it my parents.
my mother asked then,whats wrong and he told it.
But nothing changed between me and my brother.:hug:

Are you gay, too?

TR-Freak
01-09-10, 17:08
Are you gay, too?
No.

AmericanAssassin
01-09-10, 17:09
...i wish i had lesbo firends, i like lesbians...

:vlol:

Draco
01-09-10, 17:20
Because a lot of straight men don't wanna go out with gay guys because they think others might think they're gay, which means they're not comfortable with themselves and worry too much what others think about them and also because many think that just by being gay, you're attracted to every man out there and want to have sex with them.

'Going out' here usually has romantic connotations.

Legend 4ever
01-09-10, 18:48
'Going out' here usually has romantic connotations.

Here?

Well I took it as "going out with friends". Anyway, if you're not gay, of course you're not going to go on dates with the same sex, but if you're straight and you don't wanna be friends with a gay person only because they're gay, that's wrong IMO.

TRfan23
01-09-10, 19:01
Here?

Well I took it as "going out with friends". Anyway, if you're not gay, of course you're not going to go on dates with the same sex, but if you're straight and you don't wanna be friends with a gay person only because they're gay, that's wrong IMO.

It depends though. If a gay person in particular doesn't care about whether a guy doesn't want to be friends with him due to what he is, then overall it doesn't matter. He can find other friends... Period.

However, if a gay guy is upset and annoyed on why a guy doesn't want to be friends with him, then he needs to convince the guy that there's nothing wrong with himself etc... If that don't work, then he'll just have to find other people who will actually like him for what he is.

Legend 4ever
01-09-10, 20:28
^ I'm not even focusing on the gay person here; I'm talking about the fact that people who don't want to be friends with gay people only because they're gay are ignorant.

Pietras
04-09-10, 13:12
I came out a year ago. All my friends are cool with it, even my straight macho-like buddies which surprised me alot but I'm really happy. The only problem was with my best friend who turned out to be in love with me, drama follows and we're no longer friends.

Parents are a bit meh with the whole thing. They love me an all, but they're very catholic thus they have tons of idiotic stereotypes in their heads, don't really know anything about gay people and of course they quoted the Bible on me (they don't do that anymore after I quoted them passages they don't follow).

scion05
04-09-10, 13:18
Mum reacted fine. Still not confirmed to my dad, but come on it's pretty obvious.

Pietras
04-09-10, 13:19
Still not confirmed to my dad, but come on it's pretty obvious.
If he saw your TRF avatar, sure :p

scion05
04-09-10, 13:22
:vlol:

He actually quite likes some Kylie songs, and thinks she's amazing as a live performer, but he wouldn't willingly choose to listen to her or anything :p

@ Lenochka:

Just wait until you move out and get your own place, you'll feel a lot more secure then with them knowing :) My mum always makes gay comments, and still does. I just smile... or cringe lol :p

Pietras
04-09-10, 13:25
:vlol:

He actually quite likes some Kylie songs, and thinks she's amazing as a live performer, but he wouldn't willingly choose to listen to her or anything :p
Haha, I'm a Christina stan and my dad likes alot too :D

scoopy_loopy
04-09-10, 13:28
^
This reminds me of the time my dad caught me watching Memoirs of a Geisha. I thought he was going to make a jibe, but instead he said he thought it was a really good move [then a string of comments on hot asian chicks].

scion05
04-09-10, 13:29
Dad is know totally used to coming into the living room on a Sunday morning and finding Kylie or Madonna on the DVD player :p

Pietras
04-09-10, 13:31
Dad is know totally used to coming into the living room on a Sunday morning and finding Kylie or Madonna on the DVD player :p
My dad buys those Kylie and Madonna DVDs lol He likes all kinds of music :)

scion05
04-09-10, 13:40
Yeah, you find a lot of men in their thirties/forties love Kylie. It amazes me, the younger men are nearly always gay, but the older ones, quite the opposite :p

MattTR
04-09-10, 14:01
I'm not fully out, but my mom and dad know.. and a vast majority of my friends know. Having gone to a Catholic school for most of my life didn't help at all, especially "trying" being okay with my sexuality when it was always looked down upon.. the friends there didn't have a clue and I didn't admit it to myself until I got to college. I even dropped out in 11th grade and got my GED, which got me into college a year early. I was away from them for a year. The rest of my family doesn't know either, but I'm not in any rush to tell them, it's been a challange, but it's definitely making me stronger as a person. :tmb: :D

tomobond875
04-09-10, 14:23
I did once, it sucked. My friend pushed me in there and closed the door :p

Pietras
04-09-10, 14:27
I'm not fully out, but my mom and dad know.. and a vast majority of my friends know. Having gone to a Catholic school for most of my life didn't help at all, especially "trying" being okay with my sexuality when it was always looked down upon.. the friends there didn't have a clue and I didn't admit it to myself until I got to college. I even dropped out in 11th grade and got my GED, which got me into college a year early. I was away from them for a year. The rest of my family doesn't know either, but I'm not in any rush to tell them, it's been a challange, but it's definitely making me stronger as a person. :tmb: :D
That must've sucked, sorry to hear that

coolaideonfire
04-09-10, 15:11
I had a really bad experience with my parents which resulted in me glossing over it and pretending it was just a phase to appease them and make my life easier. I was young and looking back I absolutely wasn't ready to tell them and now I'm older the consequences of my actions have made it even harder for me to be open with them again. :(

Luckily my friends at school were brilliant and accepting of me and the friends I have now are as well. I just wish my family reacted better, and that I didn't back down, because now I'm not sure I can ever be honest with them.

larafan25
04-09-10, 16:48
I haven't checked yet...but I think...I may be in a state of mind and emotion and possibly mess where if you had some problem with me (my sexuality maybe?) I'd say go **** yourself.

:pi: Hopefully I can control my emotions though.....:)