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Laras shadow
13-10-10, 14:38
okay well i'm writing an essay on "Video Games facing controversy over violence" and well I've writen an introduction but i'm not sure if it's too sarcastic. Plus I have no idea what to write next :/

Video games have been facing controversy over violence ever since the first games where released in the early 1970’s. As the mass “gore” and “terror” of Pacman swept the nation a paranoid government where ready to jump into a panic room at the thought of how influential video games where becoming. Skip forward a few decades and the government is still as paranoid as ever, with reports coming in from America of people committing mass murder then blaming it on “Viva Piñata”. The government is still convinced that video games “brainwash” and “corrupt” there consumers whether it be children or adults. However this could not be less true as the vast majority do not go mad and kill people in the name of “Mario”.

Evan C.
13-10-10, 14:42
I think it's a little bit sarcastic,yes.Violence is not something fun,not even on videogames,so I think you should do a deeper research and make a reflexion about society,globalization and violence,becuase IMO they are strongly connected.

Of course videogames are a huge influence for people,but they are a reflex of what is going on around the world,and how natural violence seems to be now.Of course,this doesn't mean violence on videogames are the cause of violence on the world.

Anyway,keep on :)

Laras shadow
13-10-10, 14:43
ah okay thats what I was worried about :/ thanks :)

Evan C.
13-10-10, 14:46
You welcome :D

Rai
13-10-10, 14:54
A good essay would remain a tad unbiased, free of personal thoughts. Certainly if you are in favour of one side, in this case that videogames don't lead to murder etc, then you can outline points to show this. But remain professional rather than personal.

Also, I don't know if you're graded for spelling, and I hope you don't mind, but I made a few corrections :o (corrections in red):


Video games have been facing controversy over violence ever since the first games were released in the early 1970s (no apostrophe). As the mass “gore” and “terror” of Pacman swept the nation, a paranoid government were ready to jump into a panic room at the thought of how influential video games were becoming. Skip forward a few decades and the government is still as paranoid as ever, with reports coming in from America of people committing mass murder then blaming it on “Viva Piñata”. The government is still convinced that video games “brainwash” and “corrupt” their consumers whether it be children or adults. However this could not be less true as the vast majority do not go mad and kill people in the name of “Mario”.

In general though, it's a good introduction, just tone down the personal vibe.

Laras shadow
13-10-10, 15:01
aww thanks for that yea i make alot of mistakes xD

Liara
13-10-10, 15:18
If you're up for it, see some of this guy's videos (like "Video Games Facing Controversy"); they're really informative: link (http://www.youtube.com/user/kirithem#g/u)

toxicraider
13-10-10, 15:18
It's nicely written, but it's very strongly opinionated. I think you should try and remain unbiased for the introduction. Then you can go on to consider different aspects, then leave your opinion for a conclusion. That's just my opinion, but I can't say that I'm that good at essays. :p

Laras shadow
13-10-10, 15:22
If you're up for it, see some of this guy's videos (like "Video Games Facing Controversy"); they're really informative: link (http://www.youtube.com/user/kirithem#g/u)

yea i've been talking to him and I love his video's :D

It's nicely written, but it's very strongly opinionated. I think you should try and remain unbiased for the introduction. Then you can go on to consider different aspects, then leave your opinion for a conclusion. That's just my opinion, but I can't say that I'm that good at essays.

thanks I think I'll adapt it and try to form some sort of concluslion for it :)

Sgt BOMBULOUS
13-10-10, 15:38
I can't wait until you get to the subject of beating up hookers in GTA... By the trend I see here, you'll cite that as a crucial element of childhood development.

^I was sort of joking... Anyway you need to be able to see both sides of the story, otherwise it's hard to take seriously.

Laras shadow
13-10-10, 15:39
better? :o
Video games have been facing controversy over violence ever since the first games were released in the early 1970’s. As the mass “gore” and “terror” of Pacman swept the nation, a paranoid government were ready to jump into a panic room at the thought of how influential video games were becoming. Skip forward a few decades and the government is still as worried but perhaps now with more reason to do so. Games such as “Grand Theft Auto” have been creating controversy for several years now due to the explicit nature and degrading way in which women are portrayed either as sexual objects or as objects to be killed for amusement and benefits. Thankfully, even though millions of copies of these games sell, there are only a very small number of incidents, which appear: such as In February 2003, 16 year old American Dustin Lynch was charged with aggravated murder. He then made an insanity defense that he was "obsessed" with Grand Theft Auto III. Incidents like this encourage the government to make a judgement of the whole gaming society as irresponsible, impressionable minds that cannot handle any form of violence. However, 95% of this controversy over video games is because the government does not understand that video games are an artistic medium.

Rai
13-10-10, 15:46
This is better :tmb:. You don't need the apostrophe in 1970s though :o. Now you're set for the main body of the essay.

Sgt BOMBULOUS
13-10-10, 15:49
As the mass “gore” and “terror” of Pacman swept the nation, a paranoid government were ready to jump into a panic room at the thought of how influential video games were becoming.

Does this have any factual basis, or is it just an attempt instill some levity in the reader? It screams hyperbole to me... Since Pacman was really nothing more than a bunch of dots running around a grid.

Another thing that shouldn't be overlooked: People don't have to commit murder in order to have been badly influenced. I'm not sure if there's a quantitative study into the effects of video game violence on a persons overall psyche, but it would be worth looking into.

Dingaling
13-10-10, 15:56
As a whole it's much better - more information and facts which I'm liking :tmb:. There's still some personal bias in there but not much. You have a "thankfully" in there. It may not seem much and while I agree with you about it being thankful, do all your readers? You don't want to be thrusting your beliefs onto your reader at this part of your essay. That "paranoid government" also does the same thing (actually, the whole sentence does as it seems more opinion then fact).

Additionally, that "skip forward a few decades" isn't sitting right with me as it seems awfully colloquial for an essay. Even if it was rephrased to something as simple as "Now, several decades later, the government is still as worried..." would sound a lot better.

Avalon SARL
13-10-10, 16:38
It has definitely become much better :)
keep it up :tmb:

Laras shadow
18-03-11, 18:55
it's been a while and yea I've just finished writing it but here it is :) opinions?

Video games have been facing controversy over violence ever since the first games where released in the early 1970’s. As the mass “gore” and “terror” of Pac man swept the nation, the government were ready to jump into a panic room at the thought of how influential video games were becoming. Now, several decades later the government is still as worried but perhaps now with more reason to do so. Games such as “Grand Theft Auto” have been creating controversy for several years now due to the explicit nature and degrading way in which women are portrayed either as sexual objects or as objects to be killed for amusement and benefits. Even though millions of copies of these games sell, there are only a very small number of incidents, which appear, such as In February 2003, 16-year-old American Dustin Lynch charged with aggravated murder. He then made an insanity defence that he was "obsessed" with Grand Theft Auto III. Incidents like this encourage the government to make a judgement of the whole gaming society as irresponsible, impressionable minds that cannot handle any form of violence. However, 95% of this controversy over video games is because the government does not understand that video games are an artistic medium and that some games are given a mature rating for a reason.
Video games and violence have always been associated with one another. However this should not be the case as in fact violent crime, particularly amongst young people, has decreased dramatically since the early 1990s. During this time, however video games have steadily increased in popularity and use, with a recent study showing children in their early teens played video games daily, and that 7% played for at least 30 hours a week. This directly shows that there may not be as strong of a psychological link between video games and violence. As the shocking fact is, there is no scientific research that shows a link between computer and video games and violence. Instead, researchers have concluded that there is no link between media violence and violent crime. However, the government may be fully aware of this, yet still conclude that video games do cause violence.
Controversial games are not always due to violence but may also be to do with a deep moral obligation such as the game “Six Days in Fallujah”. It is the first game to focus directly on Operation Iraqi Freedom, mainly the Second Battle of Fallujah. The game follows a squad of U.S. Marines from third Battalion 1st Marines over the span of six days. The game was originally to be published by Konami but On April 28, 2009, a representative confirmed to the Associated Press that Konami was no longer publishing the game. This was because the gaming community could not handle the views that are highlighted within the game. Personal trauma as people lost family members in this war, and the fact that it is such a recent war. Tim Collins, a former lieutenant colonel of the 1st Battalion Royal Irish Regiment, explains his view on the game, "It's much too soon to start making video games about a war that's still going on, and an extremely flippant response to one of the most important events in modern history. It's particularly insensitive given what happened in Fallujah, and I will certainly oppose the release of this game.” This is not what should have happened. This is a prime example of the poison of the media, condemning a game, which would have been a unique and controversial title.
Video games and women have never really mixed particularly well. Women see video games as a sort of “guy’s club” mainly because of how indecently women are portrayed in the gaming media. Games such as “Tomb Raider” are a unique title in which shows women in both a positive and a negative manner. Lara Croft is quite clearly a designed, built woman and created to be almost caricature like, with her tiny hips and large breasts it is clear to see why women may decide this is not the game for them. However, in contrast there is a strong, highly intellectual and classy side to Lara, which creates more of an appeal to women. Furthermore, when it comes to violence, Lara, throughout the games has killed endangered animals in Peru then to killing men in the Mediterranean. One argument that she “Glamorises killing”, perhaps there is some logic here, but there have been no events that say people are killing people in the name of “Lara Croft”. This shows these claims to be no more than paranoid worries. On the other hand, games such as “Grand Theft Auto” only feature women as either prostitutes or un-classy women who can be murdered in the streets in order to get extra cash. This should not be acceptable. It is games like this, which the government are making examples of and in doing so tarnishing the image of the “Gaming community”.
Another worrying topic, which happens throughout the gaming community, is the supplement of mature rated games such as the “Call of Duty” franchise to children as young as 10 years old. This is another reason that the gaming community receives a bad reputation, because these children are indeed, young and impressionable and have no moral compass. This is not the target audience for these games, as they will not understand the moral issues or plainly the violence contained the game is too frightening for them. As it is a matter of fact that children who play video games with a mature 18+ rating at a young age can develop slight mental health problems, whether that be with a lack of social interaction or with a violent or aggressive characteristic.
The last main topic of video gaming and controversy is the gaming laws it’s self. Countries such as Australia, the USA and the UK have different gaming laws but similar problems. In Australia the gaming, rating is different as the highest rating is 15+. This means games, which are rated 18+ in the UK, cannot be sold in Australia or have to be “restricted” and made to be at the very limit for a 15+. Games which have not made the cut are “Manhunt” due to its high impact violence and cruelty, Left 4 dead 2 (the UK version) because of its blood and gore and silent Hill: Homecoming (original version) due to also excessive violence. In the USA games, which were banned, included “Medal of Honour” this was banned due to a Taliban reference, the reference was later removed and the game allowed to be released. Finally, in the UK the game “Manhunt 2” was banned due to excessive violence and disturbing scenes.
In conclusion, the question “Do video games cause violence or controversy?” is a question, which has a complicated answer as it has several answers. For me the answer is no, it does not cause violence in the large section of society who is mentally capable but games do create controversy and will continue to do so as long as there are people who will always oppose games because of the portrayal of women, violent scenes or simply because they contain a deeper and more moral issue such as war and why it comes about.
“We will have to be stead fast under the scrutiny from the world and resolute when we are asked to justify ourselves in the court of public opinion…. If we do this, we could perhaps elevate some small portion of our labour to an art. However, if we do this we are no longer going to be able to pretend as if what we do no longer matters. If we do this we can never go back to the way it was before.” James Portnow.

DragonSlayer
18-03-11, 20:15
It's nicely written, but it's very strongly opinionated. I think you should try and remain unbiased for the introduction. Then you can go on to consider different aspects, then leave your opinion for a conclusion. That's just my opinion, but I can't say that I'm that good at essays. :p

It's hard not to be opinionated when it comes to videogames, some people can be very passionate when it comes to defending videogames, i know i am, i can argue most people under the table.

@Lara's Shadow i don't have time to read it right now, i'll read it later and let you know what i think.

Laras shadow
19-03-11, 13:52
^^ very much appreciated thanks :)