View Full Version : I feel terrible need some advice

24-10-10, 21:28
Hi all hope your all well.

This is a weird one afraid so ill give a brief bit of background. My parents divorced when I was 3 dad remarried and had 2 beautiful children my half bro and sis but in all our eyes they ARE my bro and sis and I love them so much never ever had any issues until today ....

Basically I'm 23 and the cool big sis that they like to hang with and babysit them and I very often take them to London. We have done this for years and they are always so well behaved my bro is 13 my sis is 10 .

Today though my bro was upset because he couldnt get his game and sulked all day and elbowed his sister so I told him off , I felt awful.

He mopped the rest of the day after that and there was a weird atmosphere and no matter what I did it didn't change .

I told dad ( as was baby-sitting the whole weekend so asked if any issues) my bro got told off and I started crying I felt awful like a snitch
Dad was asking me why I felt sad and told I felt like a snit b getting my lil bro in trouble and felt like he was a lil u grateful

Dad told him off and he not going to a party tommorow now and he knows he upset me because dad made him say sorry and he just cried and hugged me and did t let go , I was crying my eyes out I feel like a monster !!!!

I know it's for his own good but je going to hate :(

Has anyone else had a similar issue how did u deal with feeling like this

24-10-10, 22:01
You really shouldn't feel bad. Your brother acted up and elbowed his sister, you told him off and then told your dad. This is the right thing to do. You are not a snitch, you were babysitting and did the right thing. Sometimes it does feel horrible to tell kids off, god knows I felt terrible telling my own son off at times and it is worse when the child isn't yours. But, this is the thing, a kid does wrong and the only way to learn is to get told off and suffer the consequences. So your brother can't go to the party, but he was being a moody so n so and did the wrong thing. Don't feel bad, seriously, hes starting his teens, he'll get over it and you'll be mates again in no time. You'll see. :).

24-10-10, 22:02
if he's elbowing someone, then you cant just sit idly by and let him get away with it. whats worse is that he did it becuase he couldnt get his game? did he want a new one or something, you need to reiterate that better, cuz im confused :p

anyways, they might see you only as the Fun Sis, and not the person of authority that you are. so, if he got in trouble, he should realize that he did something wrong, and he faced the consequences. maybe he hit his sis, cuz he thought you wouldnt tell, or that you werent a person of authority.

perhaps your lil sis would have felt just as bad as your brother did, if you didnt defend her?

24-10-10, 22:04
aw, i understand, you're obviously close with them if you feel this bad.

When you see them next, make sure you're normal because he did do wrong by hurting his sister. Kids are kids, they're going to sulk! :) He'll get over it and he obviously loves and it wouldn't change after a silly incident! Just act like nothings happened and be normal when you see them next and take it from there. Christmas is right around the corner, remind them...it never fails :P You did the right thing so don't worry!

25-10-10, 08:57
Now........while being a cool big sis and all that is fun, you also have a duty to make sure that they act nice and treat people with respect etc. That is the adult part of child care. As a mum (and working in the education system) you have to tell kids off. If you don't they tend to not get that they have to behave in a certain way. Boundaries are there for a reason.

We regularly get parents who tell us that they don't want to tell kids off because they might upset them. Invariably these kids throw tantrums because they are used to getting their own way and haven't come up against someone telling them no and meaning it. We have five year olds talking to adults like dirt because they are treated as little adults. :(

So no..you did the right thing....my course of action would be to always talk to the child afterwards to explain why their behaviour made you upset or why it wasn't acceptable. You still love them.....you don't like how they behaved.

25-10-10, 10:09
He mopped the rest of the day after that and there was a weird atmosphere and no matter what I did it didn't change .

And this is a bad thing? You know how hard it is to gets kids to clean nowadays?

But seriously... Did he hurt your sister? If so he got what he deserved. Even if he didn't harm her, a little discipline will do him far more good in the end. Too many kids these days are getting away with murder because their parents seem scared to hurt their feelings.