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Catracoth
26-10-10, 23:28
Fact of the matter is, I never learn. Never do, never will.
So today, this guy who royally ****ed me over and confesses that he was talking to someone else on the side just wrecks me and tells me that he wants nothing to do with me whatsoever and to not bother messaging him or texting him, nothing at all from that point forward. Maybe about a week and a half ago. Today, he texts me asking for my help with his schoolwork.

Are you serious?

What do I do? Offer my help. Like an idiot. Instead of just saying "**** you, I don't give a damn about you any more." I decide to help him. Seriously, what is wrong with me? Am I being stupid or just being a goodhearted person? Needless to say, this has brought my anxiety and stress back 10 fold.

:hea:

patriots88888
26-10-10, 23:33
What exactly is stressing you out about this? Are you saying you have a split personality or something?

Underworld2008
26-10-10, 23:39
edit - i misread...

Hard to say, maybe you was being "good-hearted" but i don't see why you caved after the way he treated you...makes no sense! :L

Rai
26-10-10, 23:41
You're a good person who's been fooled by an eejit. Help him then leave it there. Or depending on what his motives are for contacting you about 'schoolwork', it might be best to stay strong and leave him alone. If it is genuinely school work, then there's no real harm in helping him out this once. Don't beat yourself up too much over this, you're the better person here, you can learn from this and trust yourself for next time (but hopefully there won't be).

Phlip
26-10-10, 23:42
Tell him to **** off.

Catracoth
26-10-10, 23:45
I just realized this was an Open Chat suited situation. Sorry. :(
I don't know what I should do. He's going to continue to treat me like we're friends, and I don't want to be, because I don't need to be in his life and see him with someone else. I really think I should just cut off contact, but I know I'll feel bad about it later. God what did I do to deserve such things being so hard for me to do?

Underworld2008
26-10-10, 23:48
God what did I do to deserve such things being so hard for me to do?

Dramatic! :P

Don't treat too much, everyone goes through trouble like this...part of being human and having feelings for someone. Best way I see forward is to try not to be pally with him because you'll just end up hurt, so best to just forget him...easier said than done but i've been there!

Tombraiderx08
26-10-10, 23:53
Give him all the wrong help :D

Paddy
27-10-10, 00:18
Give him all the wrong help :D

Nah disagree, thats just spiteful. Dont lower yourself to that Mason :)
Id say like Rai said help and then be done with it, dont have anything to do with him afterwards.
Thats just my opinion though.

snork
27-10-10, 00:24
Give him all the wrong help :D

wicked!

:D

Catracoth
27-10-10, 00:27
I did what I could to help - now he's acting like we're friends or something. Not to mention I didn't even receive an apology for the stuff he said and did, and quite frankly, I don't think an apology would even cut it. Yet I still feel like forgiving him even though I can sense future hurting. :(

I'm sorry if this all seems attention whore-y :\

interstellardave
27-10-10, 02:34
If he hurts you again you asked for it, TBQH. That's not mean... that's the truth, and you knew it before you posted; you had to.

So the question you must ask yourself is what reason would you have for wanting him back in your life? There must be one... you gotta decide if that reason makes him worth the hassle but, just remember, you're choosing this. ;)

TheBloodRed
27-10-10, 02:45
I'd have done the same. Bygones are bygones and today is what is important. No need to stress over the past or issues that are no longer apparent.

Maybe you can ask him about it and see if you two can get some closure.

interstellardave
27-10-10, 02:49
I'd have done the same. Bygones are bygones and today is what is important. No need to stress over the past or issues that are no longer apparent.

Maybe you can ask him about it and see if you two can get some closure.

It was a week and a half ago...

scremanie
27-10-10, 04:26
I was expecting a Fresh Prince of Bel Air thread... :pi:.


But any way, I'm sorry to hear that you're in this situation and hope it sorts itself out. :)

If it were me, I would tell them how they hurt me and then see how they respond.

:hug:

Melonie Tomb Raider
27-10-10, 05:16
Heck NO!

Don't reply to him, he's not worth your time. He just wants to use you for whenever he needs you, and that is not cool. You're an awesome person and should be valued, and if people can't treat you with common respect, forget about them. It's their loss.

I know if you liked the guy it must be tempting, but trust me, all he will do is use you when he needs to and mistreat you. Don't go there. Just don't.

scoopy_loopy
27-10-10, 05:17
I was expecting a Fresh Prince of Bel Air thread... :pi:

OMFG You too? :vlol:

Alpharaider47
27-10-10, 05:41
I did what I could to help - now he's acting like we're friends or something. Not to mention I didn't even receive an apology for the stuff he said and did, and quite frankly, I don't think an apology would even cut it. Yet I still feel like forgiving him even though I can sense future hurting. :(

I'm sorry if this all seems attention whore-y :\

I'd look at it this way. You were kind and helped, but you no longer want this person in your life. If you keep giving them chances, they may keep cycling like this- being kind and friendly when they want something, and then cold and distant when they don't. It can be a tough decision, but if you really want to get this person out of your life/break a cycle like that, then you need to cut this person loose. Forgive and move on :)

You're a good person and don't deserve to have someone drag you down like this

Avalon SARL
27-10-10, 06:03
OMG...

This happened to me :)
Well bro. beleive me, it depends on what you really want.
But you have to keep in mind what happened and what you rally think of him.

When a friend of mine and I became mad at one another, I just took a firm decision, and later he asked me for help in ome lessons, So i didnt say no. I just thought this would be one last favor to do with him, as I am not a bad man, but just after that he was out of my life.

You chose what to do, but just do not let that change yor mind and become friends again...
I did it previously and it hurtsssssssssssssssssss, that is why my later decision was solid rock ;)

Shark_Blade
27-10-10, 10:40
There's a time and place to be good. This is just him plain using you as a tool.
Don't give any face to this type of people or you'll be hard to say no again in the future.

ShadyCroft
27-10-10, 12:58
God what did I do to deserve such things being so hard for me to do?

Mason, as much as I like you and we have never fought or got on a wrong side, just stop being a queen and shut the **** up ! I swear, if I hear one more phrase like this, or if I hear one more guy problem....
Jeeez, come over and live here for a week.

anyways, even if you may feel bad about it, you need to cut him off for sure and you need to put it behind you and move on. I know it isnt easy and it'll take time but I know you can do it.
I've been through a very horrendous experience I thought I'd never get over, but am over it now..I guess..and things are fine. You just need to focus on something else and see less of him.
I'm not sure if its good that you tell him for both of you to go your separate ways and that means less contact, but I know you need to move on, and you know that too. Don't lie to yourself. You said it that he ****ed you up and was talking to someone else..you know you (and every one else) don't deserve this and you deserve something better, mutual respect and all. :)

If you need to tell him to back off, do that, but dont let him treat you in a way that makes you wonder. You came here and you posted, which means you're wondering and not liking his attitude, the "I dont want you but I want your help".

sorry, but thats bull. Good luck! :)

Catracoth
27-10-10, 20:23
Was there really a need for the opening comment?

[Xmas]
27-10-10, 20:31
I think I understand you.
I have a friend (girl, I like :() in my classroom who's acting like if we were friends ONLY when she needs help with something.
And I do what? I ALWAYS help her :hea: But I just can't help myself sorry. She's cute and beautiful and when she needs help she'll get it. She ignores me then :( I still always help her. I know. Why? It's something I can't tell you.

Dark Lugia 2
27-10-10, 20:36
I know you said youd find it hard, but I suggest just dont keep in contact with the person anymore. And try not to feel bad about doing so - this person didnt seem to feel bad about throwing your feelings about, so why should you?

ShadyCroft
27-10-10, 21:38
Was there really a need for the opening comment?

Yes. :)

Catracoth
27-10-10, 23:00
No, actually, it wasn't.

Hairhelmet12
27-10-10, 23:10
Mason, as much as I like you and we have never fought or got on a wrong side, just stop being a queen and shut the **** up ! I swear, if I hear one more phrase like this, or if I hear one more guy problem....
Jeeez, come over and live here for a week.



That is rude, uncalled for, and insensitive.

Anyway,
Your problem sounds similar to one of my friends I know, She has a BF who is really mean, like not hitting or anything he just controls her and uses her, Like if she dosn't talk to him first, He won't say anything. She HAS to be the first to talk, and He uses the excuse "I know your friends don't like me, I don't belong" Just so she will only talk to him all the time. They broke up a while ago because apparently he found another girl, and he called her Crazy and told her to leave him alone, I helped her threw it and everything but now she is back with him and he's doing the same thing again :(

So, my advice is, don't talk to him at all, He just wants to use you when ever he can.

Catracoth
27-10-10, 23:15
:/

I understand that there are people out there going through much worse stuff than I am currently (more than I'm putting out there in this thread). Honestly, having such feelings for people often times suck. :(

moodydog
27-10-10, 23:20
Fact of the matter is, I never learn. Never do, never will.
So today, this guy who royally ****ed me over and confesses that he was talking to someone else on the side just wrecks me and tells me that he wants nothing to do with me whatsoever and to not bother messaging him or texting him, nothing at all from that point forward. Maybe about a week and a half ago. Today, he texts me asking for my help with his schoolwork.

Are you serious?

What do I do? Offer my help. Like an idiot. Instead of just saying "**** you, I don't give a damn about you any more." I decide to help him. Seriously, what is wrong with me? Am I being stupid or just being a goodhearted person? Needless to say, this has brought my anxiety and stress back 10 fold.

:hea:

Damn... the thing is...
I don't know what your relationship to this guy is... best friend, friend, boyfriend...
If its either the first 2, geez... friends will **** you over all the time, they do it to me. Friends change, you get new ones, you loose old ones... you shouldn't take what friends say personally though... 99.9% of the time its them not you.
If its the latter, damn... try and see things through a brighter side :o (easier said than done) be confident... his loss, not yours. Suppose you should talk to other woman (or any close girlfriends) about how they overcome this. Get some suggestions and support.
Most improtantly...
DONT burrow your head in the ground! :hug:

Catracoth
28-10-10, 00:30
I just told him off today. He messaged me, speaking rather ill about how I was telling people he cheated on me, when I was really referring to my previous ex (I wasn't with this guy long enough to consider him an ex anything) and he was just going off on me. So I told him off with a very colourful vocabulary (minor vulgarity) and I feel excellent. :D

Of course, he thrives for the last word, which he may have. I'm through with this foolishness.

Dark Lugia 2
28-10-10, 00:44
Well done! I can imagine it being a hard step to take. :tmb:

Legend of Lara
28-10-10, 00:45
How wonderful!

Catracoth
28-10-10, 00:46
Well done! I can imagine it being a hard step to take. :tmb:

Not really. :vlol:
I was already having a bad day - this was just the final trigger I needed to put modesty behind me and go gung-ho. If only I could have this hardened interior and exterior all the time.

SkyPuppy
28-10-10, 00:50
How wonderful!

totes

Hairhelmet12
28-10-10, 01:12
You go! Home boy better watch his back. :ohn:

Alpharaider47
28-10-10, 02:20
I just told him off today. He messaged me, speaking rather ill about how I was telling people he cheated on me, when I was really referring to my previous ex (I wasn't with this guy long enough to consider him an ex anything) and he was just going off on me. So I told him off with a very colourful vocabulary (minor vulgarity) and I feel excellent. :D

Of course, he thrives for the last word, which he may have. I'm through with this foolishness.

Good deal Mason :tmb:

Ikas90
28-10-10, 02:20
There's nothing wrong with having a good heart, unless you let it dominate your life and get you into bad situations that you can't get yourself out of.

There's a fine line between being good-hearted, and sticking up for yourself. And in this case.. You've gotta stick up for yourself, and not let him trod all over you. Not replying to him is all you need to do - there's not much else.

Librarian
28-10-10, 06:38
You have to learn how to cut people who are bad for you out of your life. Otherwise, this situation is going to repeat itself with different people for many years to come. Keeping people like that around will eventually damage your health in one way or another.

It will be hard, it won't be pleasant, but you will survive and be a stronger person for it.