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Alex Shepherd
07-11-10, 20:23
I am just wondering if this bad or good...
If one of your best friend is not really good to you... but he/she actually doesn't know that, you're trying to get his/her best attention that you do really care about him/her, want his/her ideas about you, want to hang out with him/her and all what I get is that he/she is busy with his/her relationship... And you're not really happy about that because his/her persoanlity completely changed.

Is it ok if I forgive him/her?! Or am I going to be a weak person if I do so?

Chocola teapot
07-11-10, 20:23
Absolutely Not.

If you talk to them about it... and they don't change....

It's not worth it.

lara c. fan
07-11-10, 20:24
If they haven't tried to even so much as seek forgiveness, don't waste your time with them.

Rivendell
07-11-10, 20:28
If one of your best friend is not really good to you... but he/she actually doesn't know that

If they don't know, then of course. You can't hold a grudge if they don't know what they're doing.

leglion
07-11-10, 20:28
Absolutely Not.

If you talk to them about it... and they don't change....

It's not worth it.

I understand where you're coming from. However, forgiveness is not always to put you and someone else to peace but sometimes it's to put yourself to peace.

Dennis's Mom
07-11-10, 20:29
Why not forgive them? Forgiveness is a way of letting go. If you don't forgive, then you won't be able to move on.

Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. If someone is treating you badly, either work on the relationship (of course, that takes two people) or end the relationship.

But hanging on to grievances is never a good idea. It becomes a habit, and before you know it, you're one of those bitter people who takes all their disappointment in life out on other people.

Chocola teapot
07-11-10, 20:30
I understand where you're coming from. However, forgiveness is not always to put you and someone else to peace but sometimes it's to put yourself to peace.

I fail to understand what's so bad about that.

leglion
07-11-10, 20:32
I fail to understand what's so bad about that.

Perhaps dennis's mom explains it better than i did. Why not forgive them? Forgiveness is a way of letting go. If you don't forgive, then you won't be able to move on.

Love2Raid
07-11-10, 20:34
To be able to forgive someone is not a weakness, itīs actually a strenght. It doesnīt necessarily mean that you have to continue the friendship though. If you really feel that you no longer get along well, it might be better to just tell him/her that and move on without any bad feelings/hate/grudges.

Chocola teapot
07-11-10, 20:34
Perhaps dennis's mom explains it better than i did.

And I said:

If you talk to them about it... and they don't change....

It's not worth it.

If you don't like what they do and they don't change, Stop bothering.

Just walk away.

Alex Shepherd
07-11-10, 20:34
If they don't know, then of course. You can't hold a grudge if they don't know what they're doing.

Trust me!! He doesn't know

I understand where you're coming from. However, forgiveness is not always to put you and someone else to peace but sometimes it's to put yourself to peace.

Thats why I choose to forgive... Not to put myself into something I don't want...

Why not forgive them? Forgiveness is a way of letting go. If you don't forgive, then you won't be able to move on.

Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. If someone is treating you badly, either work on the relationship (of course, that takes two people) or end the relationship.

But hanging on to grievances is never a good idea. It becomes a habit, and before you know it, you're one of those bitter people who takes all their disappointment in life out on other people.

Like it... thanks

Catracoth
07-11-10, 20:35
If you don't forgive, then you won't be able to move on.

That's not exactly true.
While you're on the right track - seeing as holding grudges is a method of remembrance - forgiveness doesn't always constitute moving on. I mean, I have a handful of people who've done things I could never forgive. I haven't talked to nor thought about them in ages. You can move on without forgiving someone, although most feel it's better to forgive anyway, since it's somehow beneficial in the long run. I fail to see that.

Sir Croft
07-11-10, 20:39
All of us probably forgave someone that wasn't actually sorry before and...

Why not forgive them? Forgiveness is a way of letting go. If you don't forgive, then you won't be able to move on.

Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. If someone is treating you badly, either work on the relationship (of course, that takes two people) or end the relationship.

But hanging on to grievances is never a good idea. It becomes a habit, and before you know it, you're one of those bitter people who takes all their disappointment in life out on other people.


So, why not?

Lara's home
07-11-10, 20:40
Trust me!! He doesn't know



Then make him know. If he still doesn't understand, he is a waste of time.
I also agree with Catracoth. Not forgiving does not in any way hinder you of moving on.

Chocola teapot
07-11-10, 20:42
Then make him know. If he still doesn't understand, he is a waste of time.

That's what I said.

http://i51.************/11uyyiq.png

Yay for having similar outlooks.

RockSteady101
08-11-10, 06:23
Absolutely not.

If you talk to them about it... And they don't change....

It's not worth it.

This!

LNSNHGTDS
08-11-10, 07:29
Try talking to him/her.If he/she still acts like an ******* then move on :D .

xXhayleyroxXx
08-11-10, 09:33
I know I've mentioned this a few times, but I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with my best friend of 9 years -- and I forgave her for it, and him. I tried to make friends with her again, and it worked for a while -- but soon she stopped caring about me and never wanted to meet. She will never get another chance.

If you were good friends with this person, and genuinely want to work things out I say do -- but guard your heart closely. Things won't be the same though.

scoopy_loopy
08-11-10, 09:50
I know I've mentioned this a few times, but I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with my best friend of 9 years -- and I forgave her for it, and him. I tried to make friends with her again, and it worked for a while -- but soon she stopped caring about me and never wanted to meet. She will never get another chance.

If you were good friends with this person, and genuinely want to work things out I say do -- but guard your heart closely. Things won't be the same though.

I'm glad you had the strength to cut her out of your life, you don't need someone like that bringing you down chookie. :hug:

xXhayleyroxXx
08-11-10, 09:52
I'm glad you had the strength to cut her out of your life, you don't need someone like that bringing you down chookie. :hug:

Thanks Joshy, and awww the word chookie is so cute :p:hug: Thanks for being a friend xxxxxxxx

coolaideonfire
08-11-10, 11:29
It's easier to forget. I rarely forgive people.

robwolf666
08-11-10, 12:06
I am just wondering if this bad or good...
If one of your best friend is not really good to you... but he/she actually doesn't know that, you're trying to get his/her best attention that you do really care about him/her, want his/her ideas about you, want to hang out with him/her and all what I get is that he/she is busy with his/her relationship... And you're not really happy about that because his/her persoanlity completely changed.

Is it ok if I forgive him/her?! Or am I going to be a weak person if I do so?
I'm probably not the best person to give advice on this, as I had a very bad experience with a so-called 'best friend' when I was younger - to cut a long story short, they weren't the person I thought they were, and they turned in to the biggest asswipe on the planet... but I'm not going in to details.

That said, what I CAN say to you, is that if you don't get some kind of 'closure' regarding this... person... you could well spend a long time wondering if you did something to make them behave the way they have, it'll eat away at you, possibly even make it hard to trust people in the future.

My advice, talk to them open and honestly about their behaviour, if it's gets you nowhere, cut loose and move on, there are other people out there more worthy of your friendship.

As you can tell by the tone of this post, I still have a healthy dose of resentment, and this happened to me a good 15+ years ago... so deal with it somehow or you could end up like me! lol

Tombraiderx08
08-11-10, 12:22
Is it ok if I forgive him/her?! Or am I going to be a weak person if I do so? Forgiveness is never weak. But, if they've totally changed, I'd just let them go.

Los Angeles
08-11-10, 13:15
If they haven't tried to even so much as seek forgiveness, don't waste your time with them.

This. :tmb:

Ikas90
08-11-10, 13:42
It's best to forgive and just let go of the things in the past that bother you. It's a sign of strength.

tampi
08-11-10, 14:24
I think that we always forgive. Sooner or later, is forgiven.

So, no weak person.

drakl0r
08-11-10, 15:52
Forgive, but don't forget (just in case).

Mikky
08-11-10, 15:55
I am just wondering if this bad or good...
If one of your best friend is not really good to you... but he/she actually doesn't know that, you're trying to get his/her best attention that you do really care about him/her, want his/her ideas about you, want to hang out with him/her and all what I get is that he/she is busy with his/her relationship... And you're not really happy about that because his/her persoanlity completely changed.

Is it ok if I forgive him/her?! Or am I going to be a weak person if I do so?

What's there to forgive? :confused: "Him/her" didn't do anything wrong. Just sounds like you're being picky and needy. =/

snork
08-11-10, 17:57
When your good or best friend suddenly neglects you because they are into a fresh (?) (and maybe their first (?) ) intimate relationship, then of course that is doing you wrong.

But I would wait a bit to see if s/he doesn't "recover" soon from this neglecting everything and everyone but their love interest. (That's what it sounds like to me)
Then I would pretty sure forgive.

Good luck.

TRfan23
08-11-10, 18:00
There are times when I find it hard to forgive others. But usually I find it pretty easy to forgive others (It of course depends on the situation :pi:). Forgive others, be nice to them even if they're horrible to you, you don't want to make yourself seem bad when in reality you're good ;)

To forgive myself... now that's another story... it's virtually impossible.

Alex Shepherd
09-11-10, 16:29
What's there to forgive? :confused: "Him/her" didn't do anything wrong. Just sounds like you're being picky and needy. =/

Treated you like a stranger
Not that best friend to say on that time
Doesn't care
No respect
Many others I don't really like to mention

And didn't do anything wrong?!

I just forgave him and I am not gonna feel alright if I don't :-/

peeves
09-11-10, 23:44
The only way i forgive people is if i get over what happened and move on.

scoopy_loopy
09-11-10, 23:55
It depends how good the make up sex is.

larafan25
09-11-10, 23:59
It depends how good the make up sex is.

Oh.

Gladous
10-11-10, 00:00
Depends on what they did. If they did something to really get me ticked but in reality it's no big deal, sure I'll forgive them, but if it's something that I can't get over, it might take awhile for me to forgive them. I hate holding grudges but sometimes I just can't help it. :o

DgoOdz94
10-11-10, 00:52
It mostly depends.

If the case is really bad or it's really constant then I say you are wasting your time trying to fix them. However if you care about them and you know that they truly care also, then sure why not. :)

But also they shouldn't say sorry when they are really not. That is not how it works.

patriots88888
10-11-10, 01:16
The way I've always seen it, the purpose of saying, 'I forgive you' is if someone is sorry for something that they said/did. So I don't really see how forgiveness can be applied in your case. Perhaps you are confusing understanding with forgiveness.

jackles
10-11-10, 16:59
Ah let it go. Life is too short to hold on to the bad stuff. I am a firm believer that those who keep bad stuff in their hearts and heads poison their souls. So let it go...and move on.....and if they mess up then let them go and don't look back.


:)