View Full Version : Top 10 Answering Machine Messages

06-12-03, 01:39
Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified
By The World Famous International Institute of Answering
Machine Messages:

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but
if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to
you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of
receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows
or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to
charity at the office and don't need their picture taken.
If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone
number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your
name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and
I'll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick
your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already
sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If
you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are
my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't
worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is
why we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you
leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't
like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the
phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy.
Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to
right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done
brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

06-12-03, 01:48
These are funny!

Sparky, I used to live in Wales, I sure do miss it :(


John Falstaff
06-12-03, 02:59
Hi Sparky!


06-12-03, 05:49
Hiya all http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/wave.gif
Mine used to be: "Hey leave a funny and/or intresting message otherwise, lets be honest, I'm not going to bother with calling you back."

But a friend reckons it costs too much from her mobile to listen to that, so I changed it to "Hey do whatever you want."

06-12-03, 06:31
Our answering machine has a lot of problems, so we just go with the one that comes prerecorded. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

06-12-03, 08:44
Mine used to say:
We are unable to come to the phone at the moment. It seems our reuseable, refillable, adorable, affordable, transportable, economical, gold plated toilet paper dispenser is on the blink again. So if you'd be so kind, please leave your name, number, time you called, and pledge a small donation so that we can get our little problem underway. Thanks!!

We used to have strangers just call our house to listen to our different messages. But then they came out with the answering machines with the chips in them which gives you about 13 seconds to record your outgoing message. This is not enough time to do something really cute, so we stopped doing it :( . Ahhhh.....the good ole' days!!

06-12-03, 11:48
These are hysterical Sparkysback, lol.

:D :D :D

06-12-03, 12:31
Originally posted by Celli:
Our answering machine has a lot of problems, so we just go with the one that comes prerecorded. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif So do we :D But lately sth happened to the line and the answering machine gives out nothing but a weird sound :confused:

Sparky http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/wave.gif
They're very funny :D Thanks! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

06-12-03, 12:38
Really good, Sparky. I like #9. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/wave.gif

[ 06. December 2003, 12:38: Message edited by: tazmine ]

06-12-03, 14:32
Hey Thanks all for replying
Glad u like them.
Cheers ;) http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/wave.gif