View Full Version : The Silence - Nick Styger

nick styger
07-04-11, 18:45
Hello lovely people. Trying out something new. Please have a read....this is from my new novel. I would appreciate if you could tell me if you liked this style of writing.

'Discipline. Now there's a hell of a word.'
The sun dragged itself across the desk and slowly slid to the floor, taking the long hot afternoon with it...hours of it...the heat pumping up at her face as she concentrated on her typing. Discipline....bitch of a word. The page was full of it...her discipline. Nary a misplaced full-stop or incorrect spelling. She had been taught the meaning of discipline...until the pee had run down her leg. The body is weak and will cry...in pain, while the iron-willed amongst us scoff and stick their hands in the flame without a flinch and say 'what a good boy am I'.
'But I'm a girl. A woman. I must say it doesn't feel very comfortable saying 'woman'. It implies too much...flesh and heat...and the warm evening breeze as the sun sinks and the romantic moon finds me hot in some steamy cinema or other, dreaming alone in a room full of dark lovers....apart...my heart and me.
'Maybe I'll go to the station tonight. His train may come in...tonight. But, do I want to hope tonight? That's the question. It's been such a long hot day and we have to be sparing with our fantasies lest we wear them away and become as accustomed to them as we are to real life. Maybe I should just stay at home and listen to the radio with Epis...he likes to laugh...fruit of my womb darling dear gone....away. Oh well. No movies tonight then...too sad.
'Hmmph. Nearly time to go. Can't start packing up yet though. Oh my goodness me. I got excited for a moment there, thought I had something to look forward to, and then I remembered....home; dark, silent home.

07-04-11, 19:07
Wow, that is so incredibly moving! I love the line 'dreaming alone in a room full of dark lovers'. That really stood out to me.
Well done! I would like to see more ^_^

nick styger
08-04-11, 07:44
Thanks for reading Haley. Glad you like.:)

08-04-11, 17:58
Very well done. As you say it is a different style of writing but I loved how you still managed to express emotions and feelings and your uses of description was fantastic.

Keep it up :tmb:

Avalon SARL
08-04-11, 19:07
It is full of emotions :D
I loved it all

08-04-11, 23:55
I rather like this, I especially like this line, "I got excited for a moment there, thought I had something to look forward to." It's kinda sad.

nick styger
09-04-11, 11:32
Thank you everyone. Gee, that is very heartening.

Thank you Autolycus:hug: and Avalon SARL:hug: and robm_2007:hug:

I shall go on and write some more.