View Full Version : Fate (My unfinished novel for last year's NaNoWriMo)

12-06-11, 15:28
Hello :wve: I decided that I would like to share my novel I have wrote for last year's NaNoWriMo. Considering the circumstances, it's not a masterpiece, and my writing isn't exactly great; but here it is. Your opinions are welcomed, but please keep in mind that I only had a month to write this, and I have not revised it at all. It was just sitting in my documents folder since December. :p I plan to post a chapter a day.


Nethis, a peaceful village away from the fast and troublesome life of the city, my home. It was located up in the eastern mountains, and in Spring never looked so beautiful. Clear blue skies in the day, and star gazing nights were welcomed in Nethis. During the Fall, the days were always cold and embraced the families who resided within. It was never too bad in Fall, but when Winter came the snow would fall. Sometimes the cold got immensely unbearable, and some families would temporarily move away from this village just for warmth.

Conditions remained humane however. Any family that had a bit of sense would be able to cope, just like mine used to. Just as I mentioned before, Nethis relies on other people, especially the family to flourish and survive. The people here were friendly, I don't think any of the long time resident ever committed a crime. Not to my knowledge anyway. Things have changed in Nethis. I'm not sure if it was for the better, or if things just got worse. It would be like deciphering a message in a room full of multiple perspectives. Everyone would perceive it as something different, or not being able to decipher it at all. That's how I feel about the changes this village has gone through.

I've had a vast array of memories my time here. My collection of memories need to be told. I just can't contain it anymore. I feel as if this urge inside me just has to tell you the story behind Nethis and how I was involved in everything which has brought me here now. The story of my home, my family, the story of how I survived, the story of what was destined for me. The story of my Fate.

Chapter 1 - Brother and Sister

It all happened about 2 years ago. I was still young and naive just like every other 14 year old, and quite ignorant about the world. I thought everything I needed was in this small village. Oh how foolish I was back then...

"Daniel! come outside quick!" my sister Terra yelled. She was 2 years older than me, and always acted as if she were my mother at times. Unlike the other girls in the village, she had a tough demeanor and didn't have a problem messing around with the boys. In other words, she was not a "girly girl" as others would put it. "Daniel, get your ass out here!" she yelled even louder. I dashed out as soon as I could. When I was there, she was standing and frantically pointing over the hazel colored horizon. She didn't appear to notice me. Whatever she was pointing at must have been astonishing. "I'm here." I said, quite annoyed. She then turned around, and simply said "look". I quickly looked to where she was pointing, and my, it was a peculiar but amazing sight.

"What is it?" I asked. "It's the jagged trail" she said. "I just saw it today. I heard rumors that following it will lead you so high that you could see the whole village and beyond." "You aren't thinking about finding out are you?" I questioned. Terra simply ignored me and walked closer down the field around our brick house. I had to chase her if I wanted an answer. "Terra!" I called as I began running down the hill trying to catch up with her. When I reached her, I was out of breath. "T-Terra! What are you...are you crazy?" "If I'm crazy, then you're certainly weak and spineless. Rather have the mind to be daring than to stay in the house all the time." She teased. "Really? Well, I wouldn't be the weak one if I were the one to reach the jagged path." I proclaimed. "...you get hurt...it's your fault". Then she ran off.

I chased after her yet again. She was fast, but I was always a little faster. We were both dashing at full speed. Tripped over a few rocks, but I never fell. We were running so fast, that everything that passed by appeared to be a blur. After a while, I started to breathe heavily, so was Terra. We were slowing down. Slower and slower, until we plopped on the grass covered ground. I tried to stifle my laughter, but couldn't help it. She couldn't either. "Oh, I think I've won" I said sarcastically, then began to laugh again. We both just stood there, lying on the ground for a while until our laughter faded away. It's times like this which I wish would never end.

"We're here it seems..." I said nervously. "Do mom and dad even know that we're here?" "Quit your worrying boy, have some fun once in a while." Terra said. We were right up close to the mountain. I could see the path just a little above my eye level. It was intimidating to me at first glance. Terra had already begun to walk the soil covered path, getting a head start once again. The edges got even more jagged the higher you got up. Those rocks could slash your skin straight off if you were to fall on them. That's why the trail got its name. I slowly followed her. "Don't slip" she warned. I simply nodded and continued to trot up the path. I gripped onto the starting rock, and pulled myself up onto it. It wasn't too hard.

My fears seemed to melt away, and turned into excitement. I was on the trail now, and fixed my gaze onto what was ahead of me. Nothing but more soil and rock. The grass below me slowly started to vanish the higher I got up. It wasn't that I was afraid of heights, but the fear of something going wrong. Unfortunately, I had the tendency to get paranoid on occasions. Terra walked back down the trail a bit, looked at me and sighed. "You need to step it up, pace yourself. It'll take at least another half hour to get to the top" I didn't show any signs of discouragement, and paced myself higher. After about 10 minutes, the ground completely vanished from my sight, and the sun went down. I could hear the faint sound of a wolf's howl. "Heh, don't you think we should head back? It's getting late..." I said, as my thoughts were yet again conflicting with each other. "We're just about there, stop complaining" Terra said. I was seriously questioning my sister's sanity at that point. Never the less, I continued up the trail. Almost had a few mini- heart attacks when I lost my footing a few times.

"I really should not have done this..." I thought to myself, but out of the blue I heard my sister say the words which came 15 minutes too slow. "Ha! we made it! We're at the top!" I ran up to meet her, and the rumors were true. From the top of the trail, the sight of the whole village was mine. From the rolling hills, to the many houses. The inn, and the farm. Even my best friends house, all in my view. It was simply amazing. "This is outstanding" I said. My sister just smiled and looked up at the sky. It was late, and the dark blue sky was littered with bright glowing stars. It was like if these stars were complementing our achievements. I felt if I had faced my fears a little, my paranoia ceased for the moment. I felt strong, and powerful, like if I could take on the world. Stereotypical yes, but that's how I felt at that moment.

Now I just lay back, gazing at the stars. The nights in Nethis were worth taking a look at. Once, I think I saw a meteor shower. I was just staring at the sky in awe that night. Staring until, my sister tapped my shoulder. "It's time to go" she said and smiled. I was a bit reluctant to move, but soon got up thinking about the consequences my mom and dad would have in store for us if we came in too late. The way back down the path wasn't nearly as challenging as going up. It was almost effortless really. All was going well, but the sound of rustling in the bushes caught my attention.

Unexpectedly, a wolf emerged from the bush. "Terra!" I screamed. She didn't hear me, and the wolf was on her trail. I quickly ran to the bush, and picked up a twig. It was the only thing which I could defend myself with. I ran as fast as I could. The wolf jumped and attacked Terra. She was struggling, but managed to kick the wolf off of her. I came nearer, and the wolf scurried away. "Agh! Damn beast!" she said. There was blood dripping from her arm. "Are you alright?" I asked. "I'm fine..." she said. I knew she was just trying to walk it off, but she was in pain. "Terra, who knows what that wolf might have had, you might have contracted rabies from it!" I said as my paranoia shot back up again. "Please, calm down, it's just bleeding. I need to disinfect it." "Then let's get home" I said. I then gathered some leaves, and wrapped it around her arm.

It wasn't the best option, but I needed some way to slow the bleeding. "Thank you" she said. "Can you stand?" She didn't respond. I had to help her up, and stand by her all the way home. She didn't seem to be injured too bad. It's odd. I was following my sister's every word just a few moments ago, and now I'm healing her wounds. I kind of feel like the one in charge now, but not in a cruel way. The thing about siblings, are that they care for each other no matter what. It's a little odd if you think about it. Maybe it was just me becoming more mature. "What a night..." I thought to myself.

14-06-11, 19:33
[Note to Self, don't ever include 'NaNoWriMo' or 'unfinished' in the title! D: ]

I'm sure you all would mind taking just one look at it and sharing your opinions? I'll only update this thread with new chapters if interest is shown. :o

14-06-11, 20:01
What's NaNoWriMo?
I'll take a look later ;) I don't have time now.

14-06-11, 20:41
NaNoWriMo is National Writing Month. Entrants had to write a 50,000 word novel in one month last year. Since we had such a short time frame, I thought people thought the stories us entrants made would be immediate garbage. :o

Legend of Lara
14-06-11, 20:46
Whenever I see "Fate", I'm instantly reminded of Fate/stay night.

Well, for starters, this is pretty much a wall of text. Try splitting it into more paragraphs for easier reading.

14-06-11, 20:55
It's hard to format the text on here, but I did what I could do.

Minty Mouth
16-06-11, 19:57
A writer posting the first draft of their work is like an artist posting their scribbles. I mean, you can if you want, but you shouldn't be surprised if nobody reads it.

17-06-11, 16:12
I'll just wait for this to be closed then.