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Celli
10-12-03, 04:31
I realized last night that this is going to be the first Christmas that I'm not looking forward to, and actually feel very indifferent about.

It's a sad thing indeed when you can no longer have Christmas to look foward to. :(

Annacia
10-12-03, 04:43
We care Celli http://divamaggie.com/smilies/hug.gif

http://www.wtv-zone.com/IrishRose/HolidayGifs/Xmasbell.gif

andromeda_eats
10-12-03, 05:07
http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/wave.gif When we were kids we got sooooo excited about Christmas and used to ask my parents why they werent as excited as us and they said "Oh, you'll grow out of it."

And that was a really sad thought so I vowed that I would always always be excited about Christmas.

Dont worry Celli, it sounds like its not Christmas you are not looking forward to its something else making you sad. I hope you feel better soon. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif

Celli
10-12-03, 05:33
I'm not looking forward to Christmas because there is nothing to look forward to. For the past 20 years at least, my family always got together for our traditional Christmas dinner. My grandma died just this January, so naturally that would be the first change. Well, my cousin's husband didn't want to have the dinner at their house like they did last year (until last year for 20 years Christmas was at our house, and now he doesn't even want to do it after breaking tradition!?!?). So my other cousin offered to have it at her house (actually, it's my grandma's house) on the 21st. Okay, having it on a different day not too bad. Somehow along the way, my uncle and my cousin's husband called the dinner off completely. We're not getting together at all now. This family has been torn apart enough this year, by my uncle's greediness of how much of my grandma's money he could get and how much he could exploit people to get it. I thought my grandma had shown us how important family was, but I guess there were only a few of us it really mattered to.

I'm deciding on whether or not I want to send out an e-mail to all of cousins, aunts, uncles, and my sisters. If I do it, I think this is what I'd write.

Hi everyone,

For the past year, I've had to keep quiet and listen to what everyone else has had to say without me voicing my thoughts. I'd just like to have my voice heard now. For the past few weeks, my mom asked me what I want for Christmas. I could just think and think, but nothing would come to mind. But I think I finally know what I want. I want grandma back so we can be a family again.

******
5 weeks, that's all that's left until January 11th and the one year anniversary of grandma's death. 5 weeks to find my family once again.

Annacia
10-12-03, 15:44
You wish for something that is impossible Celli. Change comes to us all and it isn't always a happy or welcome thing. I understand your wish to have things as they were, but you have no choice other than to go forward. Why don't you suggest that your personal part of the family have a dinner and issue an open invitation to any other members who would like to attend? At the very least you would have a very nice dinner with your smaller family and you can remember your Grandmother with love.
Those who choose not to be there would be the poorer for it. The rest of you could have a good Christmas. HUG Cup!!

http://www.wtv-zone.com/IrishRose/HolidayGifs/Xmasbell.gif

Miss60
10-12-03, 15:55
I'm very sorry to hear about this celli :( My grandmother passed away in October last year, so last Christmas was our first ever without her. Before her death we always used to celebrate at her house, but last year we had to hold it at home. Changes don't come easy, but they are inevitable. Life does move along and although it's really sad about your family situation, you shouldn't let that get in the way for you enjoying yourself and your holiday. Remember, we're here for you if you need someone to speak to http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif

[ 10. December 2003, 16:56: Message edited by: Marianne ]

AnotherLara
10-12-03, 15:59
Celli - I'm very sorry for your loss. I can understand completely how upsetting these changes can be; my family situation was very similar to yours throughout my childhood, too. But Annacia is completely right: change is inevitable. Sometimes wishing for a past that cannot return is more damaging than the loss in the first place. Gather your immediate family around you, enjoy your Christmas with the ones you love most. And like Annacia says, anyone else who chooses to join you will do so in the spirit of the Christmases you remember. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif

bubbleblaster
10-12-03, 17:26
celli,my boyfrend ian lost his grandad on the 1st of january,its the 1 year anniversairy this january and he probably feels the way you do to. but your grandma wouldnt have wanted you to feel this way, you have to remember the good times and maby if you exsplain your feelings to your family they will realise the way you feel.
we all love you http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif

Celli
10-12-03, 20:47
Thanks everyone for your comments and advice. This is going to be something big ahead of me yet.

Originally posted by bubbleblaster:
celli,my boyfrend ian lost his grandad on the 1st of january,its the 1 year anniversairy this january and he probably feels the way you do to. but your grandma wouldnt have wanted you to feel this way, you have to remember the good times and maby if you exsplain your feelings to your family they will realise the way you feel.
we all love you http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif My grandma wouldn't have wanted the family to fall apart either though. :(

andromeda_eats
10-12-03, 22:59
Celli, Im so sorry. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif I can understand completley, my grandmother died on New Years Eve a few years ago and the Christmas after she died my whole family was split apart because of distress and not being able to deal with it.

It took two years for my family to cope and start to move on from my Nanny's death.

I truly hope your family can find this strength. I am impressed that you have the courage to try and reunite your entire family. It takes a lot of strength to do something like that. Good for you, I honestly hope that it works out.

http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif

[ 11. December 2003, 00:00: Message edited by: andromeda_eats ]

Isabella
10-12-03, 23:07
Hi Celli.

I understand why you feel this way. The loss of someone can leave a huge void especially around the holidays. You've been given some great advise here and I can only echo what everyone else has said. I won't lie to you and say it will be easy because it won't, But I can promise that you will adapt to the change. It's so hard to let go of the past and I know how much you want to cling to it. Just stay stong Celli. I know you have a lot of strength and you will pull through this time. And remember that you are not alone. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

gonga
11-12-03, 00:19
I'm sorry to hear of your sadness over the holiday Celli. You are not alone. Many people feel the greatest sense of loss and lonliness and depression around the holidays when our expectations are so high. It's OK to grieve and it sounds like many in your family are still doing so. Then it will pass.

And at some point new traditions must be begun in the spirit of the holiday - traditions of giving, spreading peace and good will.

Peace and good will to you my friend!

TRChik
11-12-03, 00:25
i know exactly how you feel randy. and it does suck. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif my nana has been gone for 3 years now. and the first thanksgiving, christmas or w/e holiday, is always hard. itll always be hard and you'll always feel like something's missing, but it does get better trust me.

this christmas ive been kinda down in the dumps. i miss my nana. the family really hasnt been the same. and my dads been out of the job for a year and 7 months. i didnt want really much for christmas anyways, theres nothing i really can think of. but i dont really want her to get me anything cuz of the money shortage. my parents arent even going to get eachother gifts, like last year. i feel bad i can't really do much about it.

hmm, after some thought, christmas is kind of over rated.

Celli
11-12-03, 01:54
When my grandma was alived, we were so proud of how close and loving of a family we had. We really pulled together during the week of the funeral home visitations and the funeral. But after that, it was like okay grandma's gone no reason for some of us to stick around now. Since the funeral, I've seen most of my cousins once and that was at the family reunion. Ironic, because this was the 50th Annual Family Reunion. 50 years, can you imagine! Most family reunions last 10, maybe 20 years max. But 50 years! My grandparents are the ones who started the family reunion so many years ago because they knew how important it was for family to stick together. They must be rolling in their graves now.

Going back to that e-mail. What should I do? Should I actually write it and send it out?

AnotherLara
11-12-03, 02:57
I say send it. Tell them how you feel. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

Isabella
11-12-03, 03:14
I agree. Go for it Celli.

andromeda_eats
11-12-03, 05:57
I third the notion. You can only try Celli, and I think by the sounds of it your Grandmother would have supported this decision to try and reunite everyone. Best of luck. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif

Miss60
11-12-03, 14:35
I agree, you go ahead and send it. If they become aware of how you feel, maybe it'll change something. If you don't send it, then you'll never know. Good luck to you http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif

Annacia
11-12-03, 15:15
Go for it Cup. You can only try and you have nothing to loose. (and you might just gain a family) ;)

http://www.wtv-zone.com/IrishRose/HolidayGifs/Xmasbell.gif