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Alex Shepherd
17-09-11, 00:08
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. (looooooooool)

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000 --Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.


*JOKE*

Gladous
17-09-11, 00:10
I'm always depressed.

trlestew
17-09-11, 00:10
Funny list. :vlol:

Tombraiderx08
17-09-11, 00:10
As amusing as I found this thread, I represent depressed males :p

Alex Shepherd
17-09-11, 00:11
Funny list. :vlol:

:p

Mikky
17-09-11, 00:11
That list is a load of BS. :p

TheGermanLlama
17-09-11, 00:44
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People
OK, let's see why:

[QUOTE=Alex Shepherd;5707091] Your last name stays put.
True.

The garage is all yours.
Not true. What if we were rooming with pals? Then some of the garage belongs to them.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.
I haven't been married before (obviously), so I can't say.

Chocolate is just another snack.
Some of us are allergic to chocolate and can't have them.

You can be President.
There are quite a few women who are trying to become the first female president, and there HAVE been women rulers during human history.

You can never be pregnant.
True.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
True, but I like to keep my shirt on.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. (looooooooool)
I take what they say with a grain of salt.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
I usually do my buisness before a long road trip, and if I must go, I go to a nearby town and stop at a starbucks or a fast food joint. Once I relieve myself, I buy something from there so they won't feel like I just used their establishment as a crapper.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Hmmm...

Same work, more pay.
True, I guess...

Wrinkles add character.
Maybe.

Wedding dress $5000 --Tux rental-$100.
True.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
That's a given.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.
Oh no, my friend, we get pissed easily.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Depends on who you're talking to.

You know stuff about tanks.
This is a stereotype. I'm a man and I know next to nothing about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Maybe.

You can open all your own jars.
Assuming we're talking about jars from the stores, who says women can't open jars?

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
I dunno. I've seen women treated equally around my town.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Depends.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
True.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
True.

You almost never have strap problems in public.
True.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
True.

Everything on your face stays its original color.
Not quite.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
Depends on the man.

You only have to shave your face and neck.
I've seen men with hairy arms and legs...

You can play with toys all your life.
I dunno. If I saw a thirty-year old man sitting in a pile of sand playing with tonka trucks, I'm going to think he's...well...mentally challenged.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
Depends on the man.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
Doesn't mean the man in question won't look like an old man trying to look like a boyscout again.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
True.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
True.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
True.

No wonder men are happier.
We may have some benifets, but we're just as capable of depression as women.

Mr.Burns
17-09-11, 01:09
Bull**** thread. Bull**** poster.

Move along please. :wve:

Sorry, but what is with this idea that men get it all better?


Meow!


Car mechanics tell you the truth

Heh, only if you know how to catch them in a lie. I've seen mechanics pull the most moronic crap on guys and girls. Anyway, funny list, mostly true :)

sheepman23
17-09-11, 01:43
A lot of you are taking this far too seriously, it's obviously meant to be a joke. :p

Funny list. :tmb:

Draco
17-09-11, 01:47
Man, so many double standards in evidence here.

Mr.Burns
17-09-11, 01:50
Man, so many double standards in evidence here.


*snorts with laughter* Post of the week right here. :)

Alex Shepherd
17-09-11, 01:59
A lot of you are taking this far too seriously, it's obviously meant to be a joke. :p

Funny list. :tmb:

I edit the first post and done.

Thanks for understanding. :hug:

Chocola teapot
17-09-11, 02:01
A lot of you are taking this far too seriously, it's obviously meant to be a joke. :p


I know right? Such dramatic argument fail. <3

The list is rather true, aside from the fact that we do get depressed. :p

Miharu
17-09-11, 03:03
Funny! :vlol:

Us males do get it good! Although we still get anxious/depressed. :(

Tony9595
17-09-11, 03:05
Those over sensitive posts are making me laugh so much! :D


Car mechanics tell you the truth.

I've seen this one happening so often :vlol:

Nice thread. :tmb:

cbragg09
17-09-11, 03:11
LMFAO


this is the best thing ever, and considering men DO get depressed that makes the list that much more funny


EDIT:

wow people, this is obviously a joke


the word JOKE in big red letters should tell you that

ozzman
17-09-11, 03:15
funny but i am depressed and antisocial

sierra xb
17-09-11, 05:20
do people honestly not have a sense of humor anymore? I thought it was funny :)

Eros5th
17-09-11, 05:29
At first I thought this was serious I was like what???

Though men do tend to have higher serotonin levels than women.. I read it in a bunch of places but idk if I believe it..

Admles
17-09-11, 06:37
Some people in this thread really need to take a chill pill.

It's just a joke, and one that has been around for many years.

Minty Mouth
17-09-11, 07:49
You might think it's a joke but feminists quite famously and seriously draw up 'Male Privilege Checklists (http://www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/)' that aren't much less glib than this.

the ancient
17-09-11, 07:58
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People


You can be President.



Women can't be president?

Funny list ^.^

Snazabaz
17-09-11, 08:04
Jeez, I actually thought this thread was funny. What's with all the hate? It's better than a lot of other nonsense threads which serve no purpose IMO.

tonyme
17-09-11, 08:33
I think all these sort of stereotyping things are absolutely pointless and ridiculous.

Most of the stuff on that list aren't even half true.

robm_2007
17-09-11, 08:37
I think all these sort of stereotyping things are absolutely pointless and ridiculous.

Most of the stuff on that list aren't even half true.

But they are all at least 49% true ;)

tonyme
17-09-11, 08:38
But they are all at least 49% true ;)

Give or take.

:p

Caesum
17-09-11, 08:42
They're all 100% tr00, believe me. :mis:

Admles
17-09-11, 09:18
You might think it's a joke but feminists quite famously and seriously draw up 'Male Privilege Checklists (http://www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/)' that aren't much less glib than this.
I saw the word feminist and it immediately lost all credibility :pi:

Zelda master
17-09-11, 09:29
*Looks at the list... Laughs...*

At the moment I'm anything but happy honestly :pi:

herothing
17-09-11, 09:46
Nice list :ton:

!Lara Croft!
17-09-11, 10:05
You have a personal instant-happy stick at your disposal...

LNSNHGTDS
17-09-11, 10:26
Most of the list is either too generic or untrue, really.

BrandonFlowers
17-09-11, 10:46
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

You must buy some really crappy presents :p I take a god 20 minutes per person.

xXhayleyroxXx
17-09-11, 10:49
You must buy some really crappy presents :p I take a good 20 minutes per person.

On my birthday my Stepmum said my Dad took an hour deciding which dress I would like better :p I was quite shocked and surprised he spent so much time deliberating on dresses :vlol: He's really not into shopping.

~~
The list is quite funny but bordering on sexist :p

CerebralAssassin
17-09-11, 11:05
cause men have no periods...

amore-guy
17-09-11, 11:22
Funny list indeed:vlol:

Lara Croft!
17-09-11, 12:08
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

You can, but it doesn't mean you should be shirtless in various occasions.



Car mechanics tell you the truth. (looooooooool)

Yeah, right! Only if you know the guys. If you don't they'll try to make off you as much money as possible.



You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

I know men that have difficulty peeing outdoors, let alone in an indoor sticky place.


Same work, more pay.

Srsly? How old is that list?


People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

How would you know? You're staring at chests.


New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

So I'm guessing you haven't owned boots or a pair of nice shoes.


One mood all the time.

Can't think of one man in my life with that quality.


Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

Yeah, right!


You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your momma that slaves for you, will cry if you see you've ironed one of your shirts.


You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Because your momma ironed this one.


The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

God no!

Let's look at an example, shall we?


George Clooney

http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/stars_94.jpg

http://www.wildsound-filmmaking-feedback-events.com/images/george_clooney_young.jpg


http://www.menshairstyles.net/d/38065-1/young+George+Clooney+with+short+dark+hair.jpg




You only have to shave your face and neck.

Ewwww..... I hope at least you trim "special" areas




______________

P.S The 2nd person I used, does not go to the original poster, of course, but to anyone who relates to what has been quoted.

_____________

P.S2 WHY ARE WOMEN ALWAYS DEPRESSED???
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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Because guys create lists like this one.
:p

_____________

P.S3 Best console ever!

:D

Dennis's Mom
17-09-11, 12:28
Children, please don't spam the thread. It's been established the list is a joke. You don't have to find it funny, but neither do you have to insult the thread or the OP to voice that opinion.

If you need help being civil, contact me. I would be happy to explain how to express an on-topic opinion that does not violate the TOS.

larafan25
17-09-11, 14:57
Damn, I wish I could remember what my post was.

I'll form another opinion, that is expressed in a less creative way, so it looks like an opinion or whateverthe****.

K, jokes like this make me feel dandy.

I agree with whoever said something about a happy-stick, that is true.

Your_Envy*
17-09-11, 15:27
Haha! :D It's like that 10 things guys know about girls:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. ... they have boobs.

:tea:

cezy rockeru
17-09-11, 15:43
i'm depressed sometimes. >:

Haha! :D It's like that 10 things guys know about girls:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. ... they have boobs.

:tea:

10 Things Cezy knows about Ana:
1.She's smart
2.She's funny
3.She's friendly
4.She's cute
5.She loves music and animals
6.She's amazingly caring
7.She's good looking.
8.She's always drunk
9.She lives too far away from Cezy,and Cezy can't visit her [:(]
10.She has boobs.

>:

Poke Warrior
17-09-11, 15:51
*Looks at Title*
-.-
*Gets Depressed*

Your_Envy*
17-09-11, 16:00
10 Things Cezy knows about Ana:
1.She's smart
2.She's funny
3.She's friendly
4.She's cute
5.She loves music and animals
6.She's amazingly caring
7.She's good looking.
8.She's always drunk
9.She lives too far away from Cezy,and Cezy can't visit her [:(]
10.She has boobs.

>:

Awwwwwwwwh Cezy! This was the sweetest post ever! Made my day. <3

:gki:

tomee
17-09-11, 16:01
Haha! :D It's like that 10 things guys know about girls:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. ... they have boobs.

:tea:

well let's be honest, women sometimes are really misterious so that is the only thing we know for sure. :ton:

hides because some is offended for sure

rediaR bmoT
17-09-11, 16:27
funny thread :vlol:

what a shame some people spam threads about serious things, and take this joke thread too seriously :rolleyes:

NRO.
17-09-11, 16:38
If the men in the Dressman commercials knew what I thought of their bulges they would be depressed. (That's right, I'm looking at you Never Stop commercial.)

The list is just a stereotype. Not everyone's the same, and - I'm a female btw - and some of the options were correct regarding me.

TRhalloween
17-09-11, 17:09
gbhhghgrr nah I don't want to.

Draco
17-09-11, 17:10
Anyone that believes woman should have equal rights and privileges under the law in all aspects of life is a feminist.

I am more of a feminist than any 'feminist' I have ever met.

Your_Envy*
17-09-11, 17:11
well let's be honest, women sometimes are really misterious so that is the only thing we know for sure. :ton:

hides because some is offended for sure

Well I totally agree. :p Who is offended? D:

DgoOdz94
17-09-11, 19:46
I don't think they are not depressed. Maybe some are like the macho stereotype so they rather not show it. And I'm pretty sure there are plenty of depressed men out there. There wouldn't be male suicide reports if there weren't no?

Weemanply109
17-09-11, 19:47
*Looks at Title*
-.-
*Gets Depressed*

:vlol:.. :tmb:

Tommy123
18-09-11, 04:24
I used to be a depressed emotional mess...then i just stopped giving a ****.

just*raidin*tomb
18-09-11, 05:18
I am almost constantly depressed though.

I don't get it.

And most of those are not true so...yeah.

Again, I don't see the hilarity but to each his own.

Weemanply109
18-09-11, 13:02
I agree, the OP wasn't funny in the slightest, hence why I thought It was serious.

I used to be a depressed emotional mess...then i just stopped giving a ****.

Actually, I stopped giving a **** recently and I feel better now. Don't get depressed about myself as much :tmb:

TheGermanLlama
18-09-11, 13:05
btw all, I was joking with my last post on here. ;)

Orionvalentine
18-09-11, 14:02
It's an interesting list, most of it is geared towards the generic idea of a man though. Plus, I'm depressed a lot of the time, and it's probably the exact same experience that a female has too.

domino92
18-09-11, 15:35
WHY GAY PEOPLE ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Homosexuals Are Just Happier People

You can be on top and bottom.

Less arguments about home decorating.

Wedding plans are taken care of like magic.

Chocolate is just another fetish.

You can be Canadian.

You don't have to deal with children.

You can do awesome things at Pride Parades.

You feel at home in Abercrombie and Fitch

If you dress girly you can use either bathroom.

You have more toys to play with ;)

Same work, more play.

Purple always looks good on you.

Tux rental-$100 -- Tux rental-$100 /

You know there's always someone starring at your package.

New shoes make you happy.

Flamboyancy.

Phone conversations are a lot more fun.

You know stuff pants.

A five-day vacation requires only one airplane.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for being awesome.

If someone forgets to invite you, you can spread nasty rumours about their sexuality and everyone will believe you

Your underwear is optional.

Three pairs of shoes are never enough.

You always have people starring at you're awesome outfits.

You are unable to care about wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face is sexy no matter what you do.

You have both male and female hairstyles to choose from.

You can shave your legs and other regions without being ridiculed.

You can play with toys all your life.

All the colours of the rainbow work with your outfit.

You can wear any length of shorts.

You don't care about your nails.

You have freedom of choice for who you want to love.

You can do Christmas shopping for 100 relatives 300 days before Christmas.

No wonder gays guys are happier.


*JOKE*

Killercowz
18-09-11, 15:46
^ :eek:

Catapharact
18-09-11, 15:55
No wonder gays guys are happier.

Not from what I have seen around this forum anyway :p. Seems like there is a relationship problem or issue involving a gay guy that pops up every day around this place.

Yes yes it is a tongue in cheek generalization.

Shark_Blade
19-09-11, 04:20
This thread depresses me, so your call that "men are never depressed" is invalid.


Let's see...


Your last name stays put.
- my name is so average, so I don't care.

The garage is all yours.
- what garage?

Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- nope, I do them for my relatives, I'd probably be running it myself when it's my time.

Chocolate is just another snack.
- I hate chocolate.

You can be President.
- Women can too.

You can never be pregnant.
- Ok.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
- I prefer topless, but a topless woman is so much better. So more negative points for you.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. (looooooooool)
- No they don't. You should gain more knowledge of cars rather than relying on your mechanic. Read more, learn more.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
- I can even just go by a tree. So yes, that's a plus.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- If you don't think, how can you turn that?

Same work, more pay.
- In some cases yes, but here, no.

Wrinkles add character.
- Nope, wrinkles sucks.

Wedding dress $5000 --Tux rental-$100.
- I guess this is true.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
- Sometimes they do, and they even stare at your butt (and slap them).

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- Nonsense.

One mood all the time.
- Nonsense.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- I don't talk much over the phone, so probably true.

You know stuff about tanks.
- Tank tops? (If you're talking about battle tanks, then no).

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- False. I need other things like books and such.

You can open all your own jars.
- Anyone can open them.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- Huh? Anyone can get credit for that.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
- Nonsense. If your friend forgets to invite you to his/her wedding, you'll act like it's nothing? Good for you and best of luck in the future.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
- I guess..I don't know how much they sell women's lingerie since I've never bought one.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- True.

You almost never have strap problems in public.
- Wedgie still happens from time to time.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- Nonsense. Yes I can.

Everything on your face stays its original color.
- You mean make-up? Yes, I like to do without those.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
- True.

You only have to shave your face and neck.
- Wow, you mean you've never trimmed your south below?

You can play with toys all your life.
- You sicko, too much info. :eek:

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
- True.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
- I rather prefer men with hair legs put those disgusting legs away.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
- False.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
- I cannot choose since growing a mustache will resulting me having an itch and rashes.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
- False. All the good stuff will have gone.


*JOKE, OR NOT*

Solice
19-09-11, 04:22
It all comes down to this...

8amtq5aXRL8

Avalon SARL
19-09-11, 09:54
@OP: :D that was very funny :D

moodydog
19-09-11, 10:53
That made my day :D

Lara Croft!
19-09-11, 10:56
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/sad-keanu-20.jpg?w=500&h=375

Legend 4ever
19-09-11, 11:19
I get this is a joke, I really do, but a lot of people take jokes seriously, especially those laden with sexism and misogyny and accept them as definitive truths. For example, some people think it is weird if a woman chooses not to take her husband's last name and think it's disrespectful towards the man. I knew a girl whose husband-to-be threatened to call off the wedding if she kept her last name. That to me is infuriating. To spend five years with a man who would leave you just like that because you want to keep your last name.

Now that I'm reading the list I notice most of the items are sexist, which is the point obviously lol However, some of these are not true for men either.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

I actually know more men who these three apply to. The reason for the first one is that most women actually know how to try on shoes and get the right shoes, whereas most men do it fast, but get it wrong.

The mood one -- whoa, I know so many men who are moody, men who are never pleased with other people and who nag others all the time. Also, plenty of bipolar men.

The third one -- if it's a good friend, men and women react arguably the same. I know a guy who never talked to a best friend of ten years after he forgot to invite him to his wife's birthday party.

Laras Backpack
20-09-11, 16:05
I knew a girl whose husband-to-be threatened to call off the wedding if she kept her last name. That to me is infuriating.
Really? Wow. That sounds emotionally abusive of him as well as irrational. I'd be the one calling off the wedding in that scenario.

I know the list is supposed to be a joke (a cute but dated and patronising one btw) but whether you find it funny is of course affected by your life experiences. My brother for example suffers depression and takes medication for intense migranes partly caused by (doctors suspect) the depression and periodic emotional stress. So when I looked at the list all I could think was how lucky he was that he grew up in a family that doesn't believe all that 'men are about as simple, deep and transparent as a glass of water' kind of thinking. He saw the signs and got the help he needed. I can only wonder how many men are afraid to speak up and get help for their issues because of BS stereotyping.

Man, I'm such a downer today. Maybe I'm depressed? *Looks down* Yep, I haz a vagina. Depression it is :p

lance6439
20-09-11, 18:51
LMFAO! i love this!

_Awestruck_
20-09-11, 21:25
I actually found this to be pretty funny.

Except...cars go in my garage :p.

toxicraider
20-09-11, 21:33
The reason for the first one is that most women actually know how to try on shoes and get the right shoes, whereas most men do it fast, but get it wrong.


Oh I do have to disagree with this from my experiences. I've spent many evenings sitting in the cold, fresh air whilst female friends rested from their shoes, then resorted to walking bare foot. :p

Like Lara's Backpack said, whether it's funny depends entirely on your experiences of depression, and also your experiences of both genders and how accurately the list represents those experiences. I admit, from my experiences, it was true enough to be mildly amusing, but not exactly the funniest thing out.

Los Angeles
20-09-11, 21:57
I'm surprised this thread is still alive. :o

Draco
20-09-11, 22:26
I'm surprised this thread is still alive. :o

It's not, but some people like to defibrillate things to a pulp.

Nerd For Life
21-09-11, 01:01
Wow, sexism. HILARIOUS.

Not really.