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Encore
25-02-12, 23:19
I'm particularly curious in hearing about people who are in a long term relationship (and, if there are any, people who actually been in this situation). Would you be able to forgive and continue the relationship beyond that?

I'm asking this because a couple of years ago my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. I honestly thought that meant divorce, like, automatically. But, nope. He stopped the affair and they "talked things through" and marriage went on. Although my mom did tell me in confidence that she will never be able to fully trust him again.

I always assumed it was impossible to continue a relationship after something like that, but maybe I'm wrong.

CiaKonwerski
25-02-12, 23:23
I personally wouldn't continue the relationship any longer. Most of the time the "cheating" happens when they feel as if nothing is working out between the couple. Either in terms of sexually, or just...a loss of attraction or whatever. If that's the case, then I would wish them the best in finding it elsewhere. I wouldn't be mad per se, but I would try to find out what happened and work through it in terms of remaining friends etc. Sometimes it is just hard to stay with the same person for the rest of your life, I get that...but I would hope that it was for a good reason.

Tombraider95
25-02-12, 23:25
Depends on who it's with, for how long and reasons for. If it was a quickie, and a mistake and if they made it up to me, then perhaps. Yet if not, I dont think so.

Mikky
25-02-12, 23:26
I'm not in a long term relationship, but I can still answer, right?

Originally posted by Encore
Of course you can, gorgeous.

Yay! :D

So, if my partner cheated on me, I would kick them to the curb. :ohn: I mean, cheating is not only doing nasties with someone else, it's also lying and disrespectful to your partner. I mean, if you lose those things, it's very hard to get them back. I know I wouldn't be able to forgive and trust my partner again if they cheated. I'd just would forget about them and find someone who could treat me right. OMG, Jennifer Hudson's "Spotlight" song just came to mind. ;__;

Anyway, yeah, dump and forget. That's just me, though.

TRULuverzz
25-02-12, 23:31
I would leave him or her, I love myself too much to stay in an unfaithful relationship! :ohn:

xXhayleyroxXx
25-02-12, 23:31
It depends on the situation but more than likely dump them :/

SkyPuppy
25-02-12, 23:34
i would feel way too hurt to stay... it's like, if they truly loved me, then they wouldn't do that. i'm sorry, but if you love someone, you just don't do that. it's one thing to have feelings for someone else while you're in love, and feeling confused, but sorry, if you even think you're going to act on them, then it's best to just breakup with the person you're with instead of having them find out how much you really didn't love them to do such a thing.

Linoshi Croft
25-02-12, 23:34
If they love and respected you enough, if they weren't happy they'd try and work on it. If things aren't going to work out, they can leave and sleep with whoever they like. Cheating is wrong and just plain disrespectful and it takes a bigger person to actually try and work on the issues or cause less pain to their partner by leaving the relationship and not hurting them even more by playing away.

Alpharaider47
25-02-12, 23:36
Ha. Cut all ties, move on.

I think the only way I might consider continuing a relationship if someone cheated on me was if the relationship had lasted for a long period of time, and/or I was extremely committed to the person. But apparently loyalty in my friends is one of my weaknesses. Something I'm correcting.

MyRaider4Life
25-02-12, 23:37
Torch all of their belongings.

DgoOdz94
25-02-12, 23:39
I'm not sure what I'd do TBH. I might try to work things out and if it happens again then just break things up.

jarekhanzelka
25-02-12, 23:40
Crash their car with all their belongings in it.

I wouldn't give a second thought about it, it'd be over instantly. Though I can imagine having a different mind about it if I had some relatively old children with that person.

Draco
25-02-12, 23:46
I'll never find out.

Diablo_Rosso
25-02-12, 23:49
Dump them. But in order for that to happen I'd have to be in a relationship, which ain't going to happen anytime soon. :vlol:

jajay119
25-02-12, 23:52
I think it depends on where in your relationship you are. If you were jut starting out, not quite serious or in an open relationship then i don't think i would be too upset. But if we were exclusive and commited then id be very upset and don't think i would be able to get over that and trust them again.

BrandonFlowers
25-02-12, 23:59
I think it would be far too easy to just throw away a relationship over something like that. More often than not, there is blame on both sides, someone has to be missing in the relationship for your partner to cheat on you. I'd much rather know why they did it so we could work on our relationship. Love isn't easy and you have to put a hell of alot of effort in. Gaining the trust would be tough, but I could forgive them for it.

Of course, some people don't have a reason and just can't control themselves.

Ora Dagger
26-02-12, 00:01
I couldn't help but to think where their "stuff" has been :whi: :\

Catracoth
26-02-12, 00:02
Kick their ass to the curb, defame their character, and threaten their life.
Wouldn't be the first time I did such.

mind
26-02-12, 00:05
Asked him why he didn't invite me. :hea: The more the better.

xLara_Nathanx
26-02-12, 00:05
I wouldn't expect it at all after the 3+ years I've spent with my partner... I'd end the relationship immediately.

larafan25
26-02-12, 00:05
IDK. :/

I guess I would trust them less and maybe break up wth them, I wouldn't hate them, but I'd be annoyed by the break of trust.

trfanX34
26-02-12, 00:11
Depends. If it was just sex with a random stranger, and I really loved him/her, I think I'd talk with him/her about it and go on with the relationship. If he/she loved another person, I'd obviously end our relationship and be depressed and mad at them. :|

Giraffe3
26-02-12, 00:43
Yikes! Um, I would address her firmly, then break up with her, and try to never talk to them again. They made a mistake. If she found interest in someone else, then she should have broken up with me. That's the least they could do. At least they would still have my respect.

TRLegendLuver
26-02-12, 04:21
I've been cheated on twice (I must be a big piece of crap for that to happen twice, in a row). Anyways, the relationship was ended by the other person for different reasons and I found out through either a friend or a by the actual cheater that they cheated on me.

If that's done, I move on. I will not put up with that, because I know, deep down, I will never be able to trust them ever again, not the way it was before and that will grow to resentment, fighting and even hate, and that's not a relationship, but a boxing match.

leglion
26-02-12, 04:26
http://images.wikia.com/nazizombiesplus/images/9/98/Butcher-knife.jpg

http://www.calropes.com/images/calropes_manilarope.jpg

http://wstoollibrary.org/files/2011/09/Shovel-pic.jpg

Need i say more?

benjamin_2010
26-02-12, 04:27
http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m256/phms2010/GIFS/3-2.gif

larafan25
26-02-12, 04:34
Depends. If it was just sex with a random stranger, and I really loved him/her, I think I'd talk with him/her about it and go on with the relationship. If he/she loved another person, I'd obviously end our relationship and be depressed and mad at them. :|

It seems odd to me that you'd be mad at them for loving another person but less for just having sex with another person, one of which they can control easier I'd think.

remote91
26-02-12, 05:01
Say a civilised goodbye.

Ikas90
26-02-12, 05:10
I don't think I would be able to stick with them. Being unfaithful is just not cool.

I can make the effort to remain faithful myself, and try not to take anything for granted, and I expect the same in return.

It's hard to say what I would do, or how I would react if I found out one was cheating on me. But I would at least make it clear at some point, that I don't want to be around them. At least not for a long time. Depending on the person or situation, I would either completely cut them off, or offer to keep some kind of distant-friendship after years, one who I would see once a year or something. But never get back with them.

I'm not the kind to carry out or plan revenge or hold grudges.

Sir Croft
26-02-12, 05:32
Depends a lot on the scenario, I don't think I can exactly say how I'd react. Part of me wants to say I'd try to forgive and forget, but the other half wants to say I'd dump them for good.

Stevo505
26-02-12, 06:01
Consider polygamy.

In all seriousness, it depends on the situation as many have said. If it's only been a short amount of time since the relationship started, I'd say goodbye as soon as I found out.

Uzi master
26-02-12, 06:26
* implying I could ever get anyone in the first place

Theoretically, I'd solve the problem with a chainsaw, or in lack of that hairspray and a lighter will suffice.

Admles
26-02-12, 06:35
Dump them, cut them completely out of my life, and have no contact with them ever again.

I have a zero tolerance policy for cheating.


That said, my fiance would never do that to me, so I have no worries :)

TippingWater
26-02-12, 06:43
What would you do if your partner cheated on you?
Luckily for me , I don't that I will ever be put into this position :o, but to be on-topic I think that I will let them be free and find love in others.
http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/112010/alone1.jpg

MiCkiZ88
26-02-12, 07:05
I would forgive him. I would be hurt, but I would give him the chance to explain why he would choose to be unfaithful when he could've very well just asked me if it would be okay to try an open relationship. But that's just me. I'm open minded when it comes to things like these. Although I would fall in to depression if I didn't find out the reason behind the cheating and most likely start questioning if I'm good enough.

Melonie Tomb Raider
26-02-12, 07:18
I'd leave. Can't even imagine how painful that would be though, and I hope I never have to go through that.

Kelly Craftman
26-02-12, 08:14
It's already happened to me and all I did was cry in my bedroom and eat Ben and Jerry's. :o

Goose
26-02-12, 08:58
Depends on the circumstances, if it was obviously a mistake on there part and they gave a good reason as to why they would do it to me, like i had somehow upset them and i had been causing issues, i would probably forgive.

leglion
26-02-12, 09:04
^How can something like that be a mistake?

Spong
26-02-12, 09:06
Dump them, cut them completely out of my life, and have no contact with them ever again.

I have a zero tolerance policy for cheating.

I can't put it any better than that really. Trust is central, if you haven't got that then kick them to the curb and move on.

Kelly Craftman
26-02-12, 09:06
Depends on the circumstances, if it was obviously a mistake on there part and they gave a good reason as to why they would do it to me, like i had somehow upset them and i had been causing issues, i would probably forgive.

Still doesn't excuse them for cheating on you, tbh.

tomblover
26-02-12, 09:11
"Byebye, bitch! :wve:"

TRULuverzz
26-02-12, 09:18
Depends on the circumstances, if it was obviously a mistake on there part and they gave a good reason as to why they would do it to me, like i had somehow upset them and i had been causing issues, i would probably forgive.

Well if you was to upset your partner, he/she should say it to your face. Cheating is a marital version of backstabbing. Shouldn't be tolerated at all :ohn:
I don't think anyone would cheat by mistake either, it's mostly deliberate.

SirPlagueRat
26-02-12, 09:18
Dump them and move on. What else can you do? :p

trfanX34
26-02-12, 10:26
It seems odd to me that you'd be mad at them for loving another person but less for just having sex with another person, one of which they can control easier I'd think.

If they hadn't told me before starting a relationship with the other person and they had been lying to me, I mean.

StefanJ94
26-02-12, 11:26
I'd make up with 'em and then cheat on 'em and then send 'em to hell. :D

Torch all of their belongings.
:vlol: :vlol: This is a great idea XD

LaraDuh
26-02-12, 11:40
Do his friends and his brother.

Dennis's Mom
26-02-12, 12:01
After 24 years and three kids, I honestly have no idea what I would do.

And I hope I never do.

the ancient
26-02-12, 12:05
Depends on why he/she did it, I guess.

If she did it just for a kick or because she is a slut I'd say it's over.
but there could be a lack in a relationship and well, if you talk about your problems afterwards and she is willing the stop the affaire...

I don't say cheating should be considered okay, but there are different situations.

jajay119
26-02-12, 12:45
After 24 years and three kids, I honestly have no idea what I would do.

And I hope I never do.

+1 to that :)

scoopy_loopy
26-02-12, 12:53
Probably take it like a bitch and welcome them back with open arms. There's no way I can see myself being able to steel myself enough to "do the right thing" and kick the offending party to the curb.

That being said, I've never been in the situation and therefore can't predict what I would actually do beyond presumption. :o

patriots88888
26-02-12, 12:58
Probably take it like a bitch and welcome them back with open arms. There's no way I can see myself being able to steel myself enough to "do the right thing" and kick the offending party to the curb.

That being said, I've never been in the situation and therefore can't predict what I would actually do beyond presumption. :o

Yea, I can relate to that. It's not always an easy thing to do, dismissing those feelings as if they were a light switch that can be fllipped or something... and that is as far as I wish to go with the topic. :o

Vinkula
26-02-12, 13:21
If it was a mistake and he/she still loves me, I'd take him/her back and forgive.

Gabi
26-02-12, 14:04
I honestly do not know and hopefully will never have to make such a decision.

ultima espio
26-02-12, 14:06
Kick em out on their ass. Make a big scene and make sure the neighbours are watching :mis:

Legend of Lara
26-02-12, 14:29
Not that I'd ever be in a serious relationship, but I'd get pissy and cut them off.

Maybe I'd covertly sell some of their stuff, too. Might as well profit from their unfaithfulness.

"No, bitch. I don't know where your crap is. You must have lost it because you're such a cheating whore. Now go away. ;_;"

knightgames
26-02-12, 16:30
Depends. Is there something in the relationship that can be worked on to make things right in said relationship? Was the cheating caused because the person was looking for affection and more importantly affirmation? If that's the case I'd work things out and see where to go from there.

Is the offending party doing it without any feelings for me or concern for the consequences? Then they are gone.



EDIT: Of course much of this would depend on the length of the relationship. A year or less? Probably buh' bye!

Chocola teapot
26-02-12, 17:30
It would kill the relationship, dead.

I would leave them.

ajrich17901
26-02-12, 19:07
I'm particularly curious in hearing about people who are in a long term relationship (and, if there are any, people who actually been in this situation). Would you be able to forgive and continue the relationship beyond that?

I'm asking this because a couple of years ago my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. I honestly thought that meant divorce, like, automatically. But, nope. He stopped the affair and they "talked things through" and marriage went on. Although my mom did tell me in confidence that she will never be able to fully trust him again.

I always assumed it was impossible to continue a relationship after something like that, but maybe I'm wrong.

Personally speaking I cannot stand people who cheat on others. I've never been one for relationships but I've seen so many of my friends gets hurt over stupid **** like this. If I was in a long term relationship with someone and they cheated, that would be it. I'd never be able to fully trust them again so why continue with someone you can't even trust completely.

At the end of the day there is no excuse for cheating on someone if you have been with them for years.

Ora Dagger
26-02-12, 19:15
Make them tell me what happened. Separate for awhile to think about it, and if I still love them, and they seem really sorry then I'll take them back.

Tommy123
26-02-12, 19:34
Find some brothas to beat his a$$. Then me and my girls hit up the club and find me a new man <3

Encore
26-02-12, 19:34
Yea, I can relate to that. It's not always an easy thing to do, dismissing those feelings as if they were a light switch that can be fllipped or something... and that is as far as I wish to go with the topic. :o

Well that was intriguing. :pi:


But yeah I think I understand this more honest answer. I personally would like to believe that if I had a boyfriend and he humiliated me by cheating on me, I would instantly "drop him". But if what people say about being in love is true, then.... How can people just "drop" someone they've been in love with for a long time?

igonge
26-02-12, 19:43
I would end it and move on.

Gabi
26-02-12, 20:12
Well that was intriguing. :pi:


But yeah I think I understand this more honest answer. I personally would like to believe that if I had a boyfriend and he humiliated me by cheating on me, I would instantly "drop him". But if what people say about being in love is true, then.... How can people just "drop" someone they've been in love with for a long time?
That is exactly why I said "I don't know".
My gut reaction is that I would never be able to trust him again, so what's the point of continuing the relationship?
On the other hand we have been together for 20 years, with ups and downs, but happy years nonetheless and I do love him. That would not change overnight if he cheated on me.
So maybe after the initial hurt and anger have worn off, I might give it another try?
I simply don't know.

Trinity34
26-02-12, 20:45
But if what people say about being in love is true, then.... How can people just "drop" someone they've been in love with for a long time?

But could you still love someone that disrespects you and treats you like ****?

Weemanply109
26-02-12, 22:18
Find some brothas to beat his a$$. Then me and my girls hit up the club and find me a new man <3

:vlol: Shaniqua, I luv u. xoxo

If they love and respected you enough, if they weren't happy they'd try and work on it. If things aren't going to work out, they can leave and sleep with whoever they like. Cheating is wrong and just plain disrespectful and it takes a bigger person to actually try and work on the issues or cause less pain to their partner by leaving the relationship and not hurting them even more by playing away.

This. However, I'm not sure how I'd react if someone cheated on me, if I loved them so much, I would probably find it hard to just kick them out of my life.

Rai
26-02-12, 22:53
It's happened to me (very long time ago) and it hurt like hell. Like an idiot, I forgave him only for him to do it again, by which time I was pregnant and had nowhere to go. I believe in second chances, foolishly it seems. Would I be so quick to be so forgiving again? I dunno if I could again.

Encore
26-02-12, 23:03
But could you still love someone that disrespects you and treats you like ****?

I have no idea. I've never been in love myself.

It's happened to me (very long time ago) and it hurt like hell. Like an idiot, I forgave him only for him to do it again, by which time I was pregnant and had nowhere to go. I believe in second chances, foolishly it seems. Would I be so quick to be so forgiving again? I dunno if I could again.

Jesus. I'm sorry to hear that. :/

jajay119
26-02-12, 23:22
^ I don't think I have been in love either. I thought I was, but I think, looking back, that I was just fooling myself as I knew deep down he was just using me. But I chose to see the good and not the truth.

Carbonek_0051
27-02-12, 01:48
Ever hear the song Wake Up Call by Maroon 5? That's my answer. Srs.

Melonie Tomb Raider
27-02-12, 02:15
It's already happened to me and all I did was cry in my bedroom and eat Ben and Jerry's. :o

Wow, I don't know why some idiot would cheat on you. His loss for sure! I'm sure it really hurt though. :( :hug:

Carbonek_0051
27-02-12, 03:37
Gag me.

Paddy
27-02-12, 03:52
There is no justifying cheating. Absolutely no excuse for it. If a partner did that to me I would have nothing to do with that person.

Legend 4ever
27-02-12, 16:32
When it comes to cheating, it's not the fact that the person had sex with someone else, it's the fact that it means that one does not respect his or her partner that's so revolting to me. If my boyfriend cheated on me, I would think that he doesn't respect me, that I'm not important to him. I probably would try to work things out because I always do, with everyone, but it would definitely hurt a lot and I could never look at him the same way. However, there is nothing he could ever do that would instantly make me not love him.

kswoosh
27-02-12, 16:46
i would feel way too hurt to stay... it's like, if they truly loved me, then they wouldn't do that. i'm sorry, but if you love someone, you just don't do that. it's one thing to have feelings for someone else while you're in love, and feeling confused, but sorry, if you even think you're going to act on them, then it's best to just breakup with the person you're with instead of having them find out how much you really didn't love them to do such a thing.

This.

Lots of people may have thought about it - but to actually go through with it shows a complete lack of respect.

For me, its not so much the sex/cheating that is the problem, its the dishonesty of it all. Its the going behind my back that would get me.

Its all about trust, and if you felt as though you would always be worried every time they had work social event, or went to the gym, or whatever, then you have to think about your long term happiness/sanity. If you personally could not get over it, then the best thing to do, for both parties, is part company.

Wow, I don't know why some idiot would cheat on you. His loss for sure! I'm sure it really hurt though. :( :hug:

Seconded. :)

Kelly Craftman
27-02-12, 16:51
Wow, I don't know why some idiot would cheat on you. His loss for sure! I'm sure it really hurt though. :( :hug:

I was 16 and I didn't want sex until I was older and he then slept with my best friend. I wasn't sure who I hated more. Oh well they're both out of my life. I might still have been with that prick. Everything happens for a reason I say. :hug:

kswoosh
27-02-12, 16:55
Everything happens for a reason I say.

So true..
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
[insert another cliche saying here]

jackles
27-02-12, 17:45
I think it depends on how much you have invested in the relationship.



A casual relationship....well then kick him/her to the kerb.


A long term marriage/partnership involving kids etc. Well I know some people who worked it out and remained together but found that trust was shattered. Others found that staying together strengthened things as they had to hash out all the issues between them. Some parted and regretted not trying. The investment of years of emotion versus an betrayal...never an easy thing to be complacent about.

Rai
27-02-12, 18:53
Jesus. I'm sorry to hear that. :/

:hug:

As I said, it happened a long time ago. Ultimately something good did come out of that relationship, and that is my son.

xXhayleyroxXx
27-02-12, 19:11
I was 16 and I didn't want sex until I was older and he then slept with my best friend. I wasn't sure who I hated more. Oh well they're both out of my life. I might still have been with that prick. Everything happens for a reason I say. :hug:

Same, girl :ohn: And then it happened again with my next boyfriend and another best friend :p But you're right, everything does happen for a reason :hug:

AmericanAssassin
27-02-12, 19:30
If they told me right away, I would break up with them.

If they kept it a secret and I found out by myself, I would kill them.

:) Kill them.

LaraDuh
27-02-12, 20:23
Come to think of it i would be like,

http://i54.************/334ryfs.jpg

Im out. PEACE!

Lenochka
27-02-12, 20:26
I really don't know tbh. That is one of my biggest fears xD
Putting all my trust into a person and having them do something like that. I barely trust people as it is, that would probably ruin me.

AmericanAssassin
27-02-12, 20:42
Putting all my trust into a person and having them do something like that. I barely trust people as it is, that would probably ruin me.
It does. It really does. I've been cheated on twice (that I know of) and I never trust anybody now. :(

Draco
27-02-12, 20:48
Nothing is more painful than betrayal.

Lara Croft!
28-02-12, 10:51
I might forgive the act, but I'd never get over it. I'm too possessive, so just the thought of my partner kissing another woman would drive me insane. I would end the relationship effective immediately.

Another Lara
28-02-12, 11:29
I might forgive the act, but I'd never get over it. I'm too possessive, so just the thought of my partner kissing another woman would drive me insane. I would end the relationship effective immediately.

I would be the same I think although I don't tend to forgive easily and bare grudges for a long time!

shebj
28-02-12, 12:05
my ex cheated on me, it was not just a one time thing; he was doing it already for 2 weeks or so ; everybody knew ; except for me ; even my then friends did but they choose to shut up.

so one day I couldn't find my own cell phone so I used his to call my cellphone ; then suddenly got this message from an old friend who hadn't contacted him in years ; so I thought that was odd ; so I read it ; it turned out he just put in the number of his lovergirl under that name ; so he was really trying to hide it.
that is what hurt me the most ; the fact that he didn't think I was worth it for even one minute to tell me that he was in love with some one else so we at least could have ended our relationship in a normal way.

I was furious and disappointed, so I left ; but not before putting all his clothes in the filled bathtub and added a lot of bleach , spiritus and garlic to the water. I sold all his favourite dvd's and games and I gave away his xbox 360 for free ( which I still regret ; should've kept it )

the best part of it all was that his new girlfriend left him the week after it for his brother :D

Weemanply109
28-02-12, 16:16
Everything happens for a reason I say. :hug:

D'aww, that's bad. Sorry to hear that. Like you said, it happens for a reason, they're gone now. :)

xoxo

kswoosh
28-02-12, 16:29
If they told me right away, I would break up with them.

If they kept it a secret and I found out by myself, I would kill them.

:) Kill them.

M16, Uzis or Harpoon Gun?

AmericanAssassin
28-02-12, 16:35
M16, Uzis or Harpoon Gun?
Uzis have always been my personal fave, but in this case I'd use the grenade launcher. (TR2, not Legend.) ;)

Alive_and_Funky
28-02-12, 16:55
Get my revenge by humiliating her over the radio! :mis:


Seriously though, I'm not really sure what I would do. To find out, I'd actually have to experience it. Encore has pretty much summed up why:

I personally would like to believe that if I had a boyfriend and he humiliated me by cheating on me, I would instantly "drop him". But if what people say about being in love is true, then.... How can people just "drop" someone they've been in love with for a long time?