View Full Version : Men are like...[adult-ish Joke]

23-02-05, 09:03
1. Men are like ........Laxatives .... They irritate the sh!t out of you.

2. Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them..

4. Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like ........ Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ..... Commercials..... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like ......... Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ........ Government Bonds ...... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ........ Mascara ..... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like ....... Popcorn ...... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like .....Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like ........ Parking Spots..... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

[ 23. February 2005, 09:05: Message edited by: PSone ]

23-02-05, 09:15
Oh Grant I have never read truer words. This is going to end up in next months Parrot Club Magazine. Maggie is going to love it. It is so lovely to find a man who can actually speak the truth. If I didn't know it was impossible I would ask you to marry me. (By the way I have never married because of all of the above). http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/jumper.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/c-2.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/whistle.gif :D http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/mischievous.gif

23-02-05, 09:38
Power to the people! (Women) - men are more animal than human ;)

23-02-05, 10:00
Hey now...ooo girly mags.

23-02-05, 15:11
14. Men are like ........ Microsoft Windows..... They are a pain to change the look of without running the risk of becomming incompatible.

23-02-05, 15:15
15. Men are like computers, if you get one, we will always see one better next! :D http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

23-02-05, 16:03
16. Men are like....... buses..... If you lose the first, you get the next one http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

23-02-05, 16:05
Originally posted by PSone:
Power to the people! (Women) - men are more animal than human ;) me want ape food!!
(actualy we are not ALL like animals as some of us act civilised and romantic http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

23-02-05, 17:52
i always believe that women have for men exactly the same feelings we have for them!
only some small changes and its the same!
for example helen mention buses we said women are like trains!haha!
well yes i have to admitt that we are animals and women are more sensitive, but i will never understand why ,when a man is not behaving like an animal, women call him a "gay"?and why the most idiots and "tough",uneducated and full of complex men have great success to women?
well i grow and still NOT learning women http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/c-1.gif ![modern socrates!lol]
btw i will try to translate some in greece,some are really good! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif

[ 23. February 2005, 17:58: Message edited by: nikos ]

23-02-05, 21:17
I hate the way SOME men will tell you any lie just to get what they want or to get out of doing something they don't want. They will tell you what they think you want to hear and make any promise with no intention of ever keeping it. I really hate lying. (The true Sagittarian coming out there Brutally Honest) :mad:

23-02-05, 22:50
It's scarey knowing that the funny thing about those jokes is the fact that they are true.

24-02-05, 11:21
Totally agree Tramp.
I HATE lying!!! :mad:

24-02-05, 13:54
16. Men are like....... Televisions..... Easily turned on, but rarely leads to anything good.

.. I probably shouldn't be adding to these heh
Could start a women one ;)

24-02-05, 16:38
yes i totally agree we are liers! :(
but girls do you realise that if a man tells to a woman the truth,then she "ignore" him and then she just follow the one who tells the biggest ones!?
if a man tell to a woman that she is just good looking and not the "prettier on earth",the "one and only he ever loved" etc,etc ...then she run away?
dont you realise that you help a lot men to tell you lies just because you want to satisfy your ego?
dont blame only men,look to a mirror and see the truth, and not how good looking you are!then you will choose your men with more success!
regards from a man who is suffering a lot from women but still love them! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif
BTW do you tell this jokes to your boyfriends when everything is ok?i thing no! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/whistle.gif

24-02-05, 18:24
lmao.. if these girls can't joke around with thier man, then that either means he has no sense or humour or there is something wrong ;)

I joke with my girl all the time. It is funnier alot of the time cause alot of these things have quite a bit of truth in them, and sometimes it's funny because it's a stereotype.

17. Young Men are like....... Glock Handguns..... both shoot off at a mear touch.

I mean c'mon it's fun to make harmless fun of things. It's not like the girls are being devote feminists.. they tend to attack with baseball bats :( ( and gerbils :'( )

24-02-05, 19:23
Originally posted by Raven_:

17. Young Men are like....... Glock Handguns..... both shoot off at a mear touch.

hehehehe...i wonder if any one besides the people who know guns got that :D

24-02-05, 21:28
Unfortunately Nikos you are right some woman encourage men's lying. I have never been one to appreciate compliments as you know that they are most BS. I was formed with very little ego I don't need to have it stroked to make me feel good. I would rather be complimented on my intelligence, my work ethic or my achievements rather than on what I am wearing or what I look like. Even at 53 I get compliments for my boobs even from much younger men. I haven't worn a bra for nearly 15 years (I don't own one), I usually wear T Shirts and I have a better bust line that most teenagers. But getting compliments on my bust doesn't mean much to me. The secret is girls don't have kids, don't wear a bra (its like being on crutches the muscles go weak) and do exercises for firmness. I also don't have little boobs. To me they are just part of a human body all women have them. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/mischievous.gif

24-02-05, 22:10
Some women have more than others though, the same goes for men.. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

Ya know, I've never really heard about an adverage 'bust' size before. Strange really, because women are stil often barraged with the whole bigger is better thing; even though in both cases it's BS.

I mean generally speaking, more than a handful is a waste and often it's the shape that is better than anything... This as I've had explained to me quite often is the case with us guys too.

Problem with having more girls than guys as friends; you often end up having conversations that just normally you'd never have. Now I know things... S-c-a-r-y things :(

You know what I found interesting about your comments Tramp, aside from the irony of your name. Is you go on about how you dislike the lies and would prefer compliments for other things; but you then go on about how you've conditioned the most noticeable asset on a female, to a point at which you'll be noticed more for the 'hush puppies' http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

I mean, from my pov.. this really is a large number of womens biggest problem. They act like politicians, they say one thing whilst doing the complete opposite. It is all phrased in such a way, that somehow you feel that it isn't them in the wrong about whatever it is, but you.

1. Women are like.... Adware.... They always nag at you to buy something new.

24-02-05, 23:34
Raven Tramp is actually my dog's name (you know as in Lady and the Tramp). His mate was Lady.

What I was actually trying to point out is I often get complimented on my breasts and to me they are just part of a female humans anatomy. I can appreciate a good human body male or female but that does not conotate sex.

Do you feel sexy if you see the Statue Venus De Milo. That is just a piece of stone showing what was believed to be then the perfect female form. I look at the Statue David and think what a perfect body but it doesn't turn me on. Maybe I just appreciate classic art and don't see the sexual side of it. Saying that I prefer to have the bust I have and not the type that when you take the bra off all the wrinkles in you're face disappear.

I definately do not act like a politician what I say I mean and no does not mean yes. Maybe men are always looking for the lies and cannot relate that easily to the truth.

And by the way I have not conditioned my Hush Puppies I think Bras were designed by men to torture women. They are uncomfortable and a bloody nuisance. Because I don't wear a bra my muscles (and that is all boobs are, muscle and fat) have not sagged because the muscles have to work and have not deteriorated because of an artificial crutch. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/mischievous.gif

25-02-05, 00:33
Originally posted by Tramp:
Unfortunately Nikos you are right some woman encourage men's lying. True, it's hard to find a good man, there's a lot of **** out there in regards to men, but a lot of the time woman are also responsible for this. I know of so many woman who put up with such **** in relationships, most of the time the situation goes BOTH ways.

25-02-05, 01:48
lol .. well I dunno much about Bra's cept for taking them off; it isn't something i've ever had to personally deal with as an apperal of clothing for myself ;)

I think the images are of how they're shown, not what is shown. Not sure about other guys, but for me atleast; I think it is better seeing a lass covered up, but showing the shape off.. rather than just standing there as if to say 'Tada!' :D

With women it seems to be more the case they get the same effect from being closer and the contact rather than the sights.. not to say that some sights are totally superficial, but a guy bending over isn't really as sexy as a girl doing the same (erm.. provided they're not several hundred pounds lol!)

Just the differences between us I think.
Well anyways... Not sure about the whole dog naminmg http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif can't say i've ever cared much for dogs, too needy creatures. I'm more of a cat person, want to get a nice tiger one time; but the dangerous creatures act an all :(

26-02-05, 10:39
the big problem for the relationships between men and and women,is egoism!
nobody understand that a man and a woman are just 2 difference options of one coin!
we just look always our side we blame always other side!very easy way, so obvious its rong!
we always believe only what we like to believe,we accept compliments only if that satisfy our selves ignoring the truth even when it so obvious!
just an example from my work!
i work in a big factory with a lot of women[500 hundrents currently ,150 men]!there is something i really fancy!i am very near to one of the "big" managers[directors how can i call him] in this factory,and i see and hear almost everything there!so many women pass just for a work or a problem ,and he gave to them the compliments they need![and as you can understand is almost the same,so every woman believe that she is the prettiest in the factory!the fanniest is that many times they saw its other and when i mention to some of them[i have the "courage" with some],the reality that he is lying to all of them they told me that "no he is lying to the others but not for me,he likes me really!"
well put the hand in your hand and your tongue to your brain and tell me, who is the one to blame more?the director who lies or the girls who believe him?

[ 26. February 2005, 10:43: Message edited by: nikos ]