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tazmine
07-02-04, 21:14
> A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
>during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
>taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

(Maybe this ties in with John's thread about violence...perhaps the guy was a gamer...?)

>********
>After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
>driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
>transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
>admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
>offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
>He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
>the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to
>bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>Damn I like that one...
>********
>An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from
>serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked
>how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
>trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he
>was hit.
>********
>A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her
>an examination to determine the cause of her daughter's swollen
>abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Your
>daughter is pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she
>argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would
>never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The
>doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The
>mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window!
>Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying
>attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a
>star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And I was
>hoping that they would show up again.
>********
>When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim
>during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would be robber James
>Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the
>barrel
>and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
>********
>The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
>machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to
>his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent
>out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out
>and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
>********
>Bonus extra ......
>A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a
>question.
The driver screamed, then proceeded to
>hit a bus, drive up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a
>large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent
>in the cab, then the driver said, Please, don't ever do that
>again. You scared the daylights out of me."
>The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't
>realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to
>which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at
>all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for
>the
>last 23 years."
http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/jumper.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/jumper.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/jumper.gif

Kurtislover101
08-02-04, 00:18
Originally posted by tazmine:
Bonus extra ......
>A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a
>question.
The driver screamed, then proceeded to
>hit a bus, drive up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a
>large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent
>in the cab, then the driver said, Please, don't ever do that
>again. You scared the daylights out of me."
>The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't
>realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to
>which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at
>all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for
>the
>last 23 years."
http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/jumper.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/jumper.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/jumper.gif hahaha good one!!!

Annacia
08-02-04, 00:24
Oh Taz, these are great!!! Thanks. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/wave.gif