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Harryu
24-01-04, 13:24
NICKNAMES

If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, S*#t-Head and Four-eyes.

DIETING

A woman knows her own body weight to the nearest ounce and will strip butt naked before standing on the scales, no matter what their shape or size every woman is conviced they need to loose half a stone.
A man is vaguely aware he weighs between 10 and 20 stone, and the only reason he knows where the scales are is because the woman left them in the middle of the bathroom floor.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in 20, even though it's only for 32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay 2 for a 1 item he needs.
A woman will pay 1 for a 2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. (The same goes for teddy bears)

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

AND FINALLY......

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Aza

lara bahun
24-01-04, 13:30
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
:D lol

kenny
24-01-04, 13:33
that about sums it up aza. :D

boazboy
24-01-04, 13:39
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.Men don't have to sleep with their makeup on. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

laracroft8290
24-01-04, 18:38
The bathroom thing...that's rapidly changing these days. More and more are men becoming aware of the care that their body actually needs. Some women don't like this though, because the men become too concerned with themselves, and in turn they don't take care of the Lady in their life. IMO take care of your Lady first then take care of yourself ;)

Miss60
24-01-04, 18:48
LMFAO http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/jumper.gif :D

Annacia
24-01-04, 18:51
This is so true! :D

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in 20, even though it's only for 32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

julialee
24-01-04, 21:02
This one is so true......
A woman knows her own body weight to the nearest ounce and will strip butt naked before standing on the scales, no matter what their shape or size every woman is conviced they need to loose half a stone.
A man is vaguely aware he weighs between 10 and 20 stone, and the only reason he knows where the scales are is because the woman left them in the middle of the bathroom floor.
;) http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

tazmine
24-01-04, 21:08
This one is so true.
NICKNAMES

If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, S*#t-Head and Four-eyes.

I don't think my husband ever refers to his friends by their real names. :D

justin
24-01-04, 21:09
All is so true, especially this:

A man will pay 2 for a 1 item he needs.
A woman will pay 1 for a 2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

I'd have to argue the cat/bear thing tho http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

NatEcho
24-01-04, 21:19
There's a good lad, Justin! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/wave.gif