View Full Version : Operating System

28-01-04, 23:58
Tech Support: "May I ask what operating system you are running today?"
Customer: "A computer."


Tech Support: "What operating system are you running? Windows 95?"
Customer: (a little too excited) "95, 97, 98, I've got them all!"

After conferring with her husband, it turned out she owned a Macintosh with System 8.1.


Back in the early days of Windows 95:

Customer: "I have Windows Thirty One."
Tech Support: "Ok, this program requires either Windows 95 or Win32s. Do you have Win32s on your system?"
Customer: "No, I have Windows Thirty One, not Thirty Two."
Tech Support: "Windows 3.1 is the operating system. Win32s is a program that makes your computer fast like Windows 95."
Customer: "What's Windows Ninety Five got to do with it?"
Tech Support: "You need either Windows 95 or Win32s to run this."
Tech Support: (giving up) "Ma'am, your computer is too old. Buy a new one with Windows 95."
Customer: "I've heard about Windows Three Hundred and Eleven. Wouldn't that be better than Ninety Five?"


My father decided that it would be a nice surprise to install Windows 95 on my seven year old computer. He had one of his employees give him step-by-step written instructions but neglected to mention that my computer is so old. When I got home he had Windows 95 installed and was struggling to install the first piece of software.

My Dad: "It says there's insufficient disk space. How much stuff to you have on the hard drive?"
Me: "It was almost full. You shouldn't have been able to get Windows 95 on there."
My Dad: "Well, I just followed these instructions."

I looked at the instructions and saw that he had backed up everything and wiped the hard drive.

Me: "If you followed these instruction properly, the only thing on the hard drive should be Windows 95. How much space does that take up?"
My Dad: "It doesn't take up any space. It's an operating system."
Me: "No, it takes up a lot of space, and it shouldn't even be able to fit on this computer."
My Dad: "No, you don't know what you're talking about. The problem is that you have too many files. You have to delete some of them."
Me: "You already deleted all my files. They're on that stack of disks now."
My Dad: "Yes, and those disks are taking up too much space."

29-01-04, 00:05
http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/bash.gif LMAO! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

29-01-04, 00:20
Ahh, that reminds me of these... ;)

Customer: "I'm going to be using Windows NT. Should I get the Server or Workstation version?"

Tech Support: "Well, are you using it as a workstation or as a server?"

Customer: "A server. So, which one do I get?"

Tech Support: "The server version perhaps?"

Customer: "Which one is that?"

Tech Support: "Windows NT Server."

Customer: "Ok, thanks."

Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"

Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)

Tech Support: "Well then we can't**"

Customer: "It says 'no dial tone'."

Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now.You need to disconnect"

Customer: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to try a few times, and it will let me through."

Tech Support: "No, It's not even trying to dial right now because you're on the phone with me."

Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."

And one of my all timefaves....

True story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he could not stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive....


29-01-04, 00:22

29-01-04, 00:56
Those are pretty funny Jenn. 'Course some of you who've been around for a while know that Windows 3.1 was 16-bit, but 3.11 ("three-hundred eleven"), which was Windows for Workgroups, WAS the first 32-bit version with Win32s, so she did have a 32-bit file system and the software should have worked! :D

29-01-04, 01:00

Customer: "I've heard about Windows Three Hundred and Eleven. Wouldn't that be better than Ninety Five?"

she didn't have 3.11 http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Oh and how are ya tonight gonga? http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/wave.gif

29-01-04, 01:07
Oh and what version do you suppose Winders 31 was? Chopped liver? http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Actually, I'm OK but I just spent two hours getting my truck and plow out of a snowbank/ditch! :mad: