View Full Version : Is this poem boldy innovative or plain rubbish?

17-10-05, 22:18
I encountered the poetry of someone called Samuel Wesley a few years ago on a website devoted to bad writing. Alas now it's very hard to find any of his stuff now on the net, but I did find this one tonight. It comes from his book of poetry entitled "Maggots" which also contains poems such as "To My Gingerbread Mistress" and "A Dialogue Between A Bedpan And A Chamber Pot". It was published sometime in the 1600s and was supposedly an attempt to tackle things most poets didn't write about. Anyway, his ode to pigs- maybe the old fashioned way it's written might not make sense to some, but here it is...

A Pindaricque, On the Grunting of a Hog

Freeborn Pindaric never does refuse,
Either a lofty, or a humble Muse:
Now in proud Sophoclaeligan Buskins Sings,
Of Hero's, and of Kings,
Mighty Numbers, mighty Things;
Now out of sight she flys,
Rowing with gaudy Wings
A-cross the stormy Skys,
Then down again,
Her self she Flings,
Without uneasiness, or Pain
To Lice, and Dogs,
To Cows, and Hogs,
And follows their melodious grunting o're the Plain.

2. Harmonious Hog draw near!
No bloody Butchers here,
Thou need'st not fear,
Harmonious Hog draw near, and from thy beauteous Snowt
Whilst we attend with Ear,
Like thine prick't up devou't;
To taste thy Sugry voice, which here, and there,
With wanton Curls, vibrates around the circling Air,
Harmonious Hog! warble some Anthem out!
As sweet as those which quiv'ring Monks in days of Y'ore,
With us did roar;
When they alas,
That the hard-hearted Abbot such a Coyl should keep,
And cheat 'em of their first, their sweetest Sleep;
When they were ferretted up to Midnight Mass:
Why should not other Piggs on Organs play,
As well as They.

3. Dear Hog! thou King of Meat!
So near thy Lord Mankind,
The nicest Taste can scarce a difference find!
No more may I thy glorious Gammons eat!
No more,
Partake of the Free Farmers Christmass store,
Black Puddings which with Fat would make your Mouths run o're:
If I, tho' I should ne're so long before the Sentence stay,
And in my large Ears scale, the thing ne're so discreetly weigh,
If I can find a difference in the Notes,
Belcht from the applauded Throats
Of Rotten Play house Songsters-All-Divine,
If any difference I can find between their Notes, and Thine:
A Noise they keep with Tune, and out of Tune,
And Round, and Flat,
High, Low, and This, and That,
That Algebra, or Thou, or I might understand as soon.

4. Like the confounding Lutes innumerable Strings,
One of them Sings;
Thy easier Musick's ten times more divine;
More like the one string'd, deep, Majestick Trump-Marine:
Prythee strike up, and cheer this drooping Heart of Mine!
Not the sweet Harp that's claim'd by Jews,
Nor that which to the far more Ancient Welch belongs,
Nor that which the Wild Irish use,
Frighting even their own Wolves with loud Hubbubbaboos.
Nor Indian Dance, with Indian Songs, Nor yet,
(Which how should I so long forget?)
The Crown of all the rest,
The very Cream o'th' Jest:
Amptuous Noble Lyre-the Tongs;
Nor, tho' Poetick Jordan bite his Thumbs,
At the bold word, my Lord Mayors Flutes, and Kettle-Drums;
Not all this Instrumental dare,
With thy soft, ravishing, vocal Musick ever to compare

I don't know about you but I would consider that "plain rubbish" But he's not widely considered a bad poet.

17-10-05, 22:23
I wouldn't call this "plain rubbish" at all. Any poetry, no matter who writes it, is anything but rubbish! I think that poem by Wesley very creative. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif


Well... I re-read it, and a few parts don't make that much sense, but I'm sure it was all meant well. Some poetry I've read WAS rubbish, I'll take the part where I said 'any poetry, no matter who writes it, is anything but rubbish...' back. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[ 17. October 2005, 23:27: Message edited by: xMiSsCrOfTx ]

17-10-05, 22:27
So you can't write a bad poem but you can make a bad film? Okay ;)

17-10-05, 22:32
Okay I hear what you say. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif To me it's the imagery he uses that makes it risible."Harmonious Hog" "Dear Hog! Thy King Of Meat!" He treats such a down to earth subject as pigs with such seriousness. And lines like

"Nor that which the Wild Irish use,
Frighting even their own Wolves with loud Hubbubbaboos."

were probably silly even in the 1600s.

Too bad I can't find To My Gingrbred Msitress. T'was a classic...

17-10-05, 22:35
Anyway, speaking of bad writing you'll never ever understand this infamous piece of legalese:

"In the Nuts (unground), (other than ground nuts) Order, the expression nuts shall have reference to such nuts, other than ground nuts, as would but for this amending Order not qualify as nuts (unground) (other than ground nuts) by reason of their being nuts (unground)."


[ 17. October 2005, 23:37: Message edited by: Celephais ]

17-10-05, 23:30
Total & absolute rubbish, fit for nothing other than the trash bin.

17-10-05, 23:37
I'm gonna need the help of dictionary.com (http://dictionary.com) :rolleyes:

18-10-05, 11:48
Actually I think it's quite amusing :D

Real Life Lara
18-10-05, 13:31
*stares blankly at computer screen* For someone who's in credit English it's amazing how thick I am. I got none of that http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif

18-10-05, 13:33
Err..... http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/fragend/confused-smiley-014.gif Doesn't do it for me.

18-10-05, 13:36
Can't understand it so won't say either way. i may look like an idiot if i say no ora wierdo if i say yes. so i'll just say dunno. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/c-1.gif