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View Full Version : Just for a Laugh: The Sensitive Jerk LOL!


Catapharact
25-10-05, 19:31
Oh God LOL! Sometimes I wonder if there is any area the Human Race doesn't want to analyze LOL! This is Hilarious!


Women Want A Sensitive Jerk
By Victoria Holmes

A good friend of mine and I were talking about relationships the other night over drinks, when he looked at me and exclaimed in total exasperation, "I don't understand women. If we're nice, you relegate us to friend status and go for a complete jerk, and then come crying to us that you just want a nice guy. Are you insane? What do you want?" And that's when it hit me: all women want a sensitive ******* -- yes, that's a good thing. But what does this strange, sarcastic phrase mean exactly? How can you become the man that women can't get enough of? And are women insane? Read on and you'll soon understand everything.

jerk appeal

The reason why even the sweetest of women gravitate toward the jerk at one point or another is because he exhibits certain qualities that appeal to women universally. Sane women are not ball-busters by nature and want a man who has a backbone and displays a healthy amount of testosterone. We can't help but be drawn to the jerk's confidence and the fact that he doesn't let people walk all over him or tell him what to do.
A relationship with a jerk usually gets ugly because he will inevitably take any sign of attachment from the woman he is with as a threat to his free-wheeling ways, and go out of his way to show her that he is, well, a jerk. For instance, if the woman mentions a concert she'd like to see with him in a month from now, he will interpret this as her wanting to be his ball and chain and will probably go out and find himself another woman ASAP -- without telling the ball and chain of course.

So, the woman ends up not knowing what happened and goes crying to her friends about wanting the antithesis of the jerk: the nice guy. But alas, he is also all wrong.


nice guy appeal

After being with the jerk, the nice guy looks really appealing. He is kind, listens and can't believe that jerk would cheat on a girl like her. But after he helps mend her broken heart, he suddenly becomes too nice. I mean, he watches chick flicks, goes shopping with her, and never says no.
The problem? She starts to feel like he is more of a girlfriend than a boyfriend, and finds herself longing for "a real man."

Hence the confusing conundrum. So which is it? What do women want? We want the best of both worlds. Call it a nice jerk if you will, but I prefer the term sensitive *******.

johnny depp

Stay with me here. Johnny Depp was voted "Sexiest Man Alive" by People magazine in 2004. The key to his sex appeal? He is the ultimate sensitive *******. On one hand, he has a bunch of tattoos, smokes like a chimney, marches to the beat of his own drum, and never feels the need to explain or apologize for his behavior; on the other hand, he is a family man who adores his wife, and plays Barbie with his daughter and trucks with his son.
What's my point? He exhibits the qualities that women like about the jerk, such as confidence, a backbone, and a devilish twinkle in his eye, as well as the sensitivity and kindness of the nice guy, without falling into either of these traps. By pointing this out, I am not implying that you should emulate his behavior; I am merely citing him as one of many possible examples of the sensitive *******. So take a cue from the man and learn to walk that fine line.


the fine line

The way to keep the woman of your dreams interested in you and only you is to be sensitive while retaining your masculinity. Know when to be kind and understanding, and when to stick to your guns, so to speak. For instance, if she just got fired and is devastated, that is when you should be her shoulder to cry on and do something nice for her like rent her favorite comedy on DVD and watch it with her. On the other hand, if she decides to redecorate your place while you're away and you return to find that your bedroom is now really "pretty," it's time to sit your little woman down and let her know that she really shouldn't have .
The key is to avoid both extremes of the nice guy and the jerk. Don't be at her beck and call, but be there for her when she needs you most. Don't cheat on her, but go out with the guys and don't let her give you any grief about it. Don't ever let her think that she can tell you what to wear, eat, think, or say, but listen to and respect her opinion. You get the idea.

This way, she knows that you love her but that she can't walk all over you, which is the key to her loving and respecting you. Throw in a romantic gesture or two every now and then and she'll be so in love, she won't know what hit her. Think about it, if you give her the best of both worlds, why would she ever want to look elsewhere?


trust me

You have to trust me on this one because most women don't even know that this is what they want, but unless they are users or man-haters, it is. So don't listen to any more **** about women wanting Mr. Sensitive and falling into the arms of Mr. Jerk; be the sensitive ******* they can't get enough of.

DREWY
25-10-05, 23:36
I gave up a long time ago trying to work out women but that advice is as good as any.

Draco
25-10-05, 23:52
You have FOILED my plan.

xMiSsCrOfTx
25-10-05, 23:56
Haha. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Laras Backpack
26-10-05, 12:45
Originally posted by Catapharact:
johnny depp

Stay with me here. Johnny Depp was voted "Sexiest Man Alive" by People magazine in 2004. The key to his sex appeal? He is the ultimate sensitive *******. On one hand, he has a bunch of tattoos, smokes like a chimney, marches to the beat of his own drum, and never feels the need to explain or apologize for his behavior; on the other hand, he is a family man who adores his wife, and plays Barbie with his daughter and trucks with his son.
What's my point? He exhibits the qualities that women like about the jerk, such as confidence, a backbone, and a devilish twinkle in his eye, as well as the sensitivity and kindness of the nice guy, without falling into either of these traps. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif I love Johnny Depp- he's a brill actor and seems like such a cool guy.
These articles always make me laugh though. Surely it's common sence that women usually want a man who is neither a whimp nor a complete http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/censored.gif . I think a guy should just be the best person he can be and if certain women don't like it- too bad for them, someone else out there will like it.

Catapharact
26-10-05, 13:42
LOL! Glad you loved the article ;) .

Draco:

Man! You don't need to go on following any of this. Just blink away your Baby blues http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif LOL!

And everyone, listen to Lara's Backpack http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif .

Andromeda66
26-10-05, 15:23
I agree with Lara's backpack.

If a woman expects you to change so that she can love you better, she's clearly not worth being with. Thats isn't love, thats a deal.

Thats like http://www.frostjedi.com/phpbb/images/smiles/deal.gif...you have what I want, you have me. I'm sorry I dont believe in that.

Capt. Murphy
26-10-05, 15:31
I read something similar to this the other day after Googling for "How to tell if she's flirting with you". Which, I swear one of my co-workers does sometimes. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/privateeye.gif

http://www.alovelinksplus.com/advice/how-to-tell-if-shes-interested.htm

This says to mess with her mind. In a way that could be like -acting like a jerk. :D

But jeesh. She's... married? Well she divorced but lives with her ex. She has kids by this guy. I could swear one morning she called me 'sweatheart' :confused: that and non-chalantly getting very close to me one day.

I better watch out. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/privateeye.gif ...making me crazy.

Better go get rid of my profile photo asap lest I get found out.

http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/censored.gif

Sometimes I say or do something to get myself a slap in the arm by this gal. Or she pulls her fist back as if to hit me. Then there's times I'm a sounding board for her 'troubles'. :confused:

I might have the "sensitive / jerk" thing down and not even know it.

But I'm sure some people here will agree. I can be a jerk. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/c-2.gif

Catapharact
26-10-05, 15:38
This is my personal opinion on love http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif .

People go upon defining what they want in a partner; all the qualities, all the right features, etc. However, when they do meet their soulmate, those calculations go flying right out the door Lol. You know you have met the right person when:

- Even though she may have tangled hair, and sleepy eyes first thing in the morning, she still looks beautiful.

- When she laughs, you almost hear the sounds of angels singing.

- When she smiles, you feel like you have died and gone to heaven.

- When she gazes at you, you just get lost in those deep eyes...

- And finally, to you, she outbeats Angelina Jolie as the most beautiful woman in the world ;) LOL!

[ 26. October 2005, 16:50: Message edited by: Catapharact ]

Laras Backpack
26-10-05, 15:43
Originally posted by Catapharact:
This is my personal opinion on love http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif .

People go upon defining what they want in a partner; all the qualities, all the right features, etc. However, when they do meet their soulmate, those calculations go flying right out the door Lol. You know you have met the right person when:

- Even though she may have tangled hair, and sleepy eyes first thing in the morning, she still looks beautiful.

- When she laughs, you almost hear the sounds of angles singing.

- When she smiles, you feel like you have died and gone to heaven.

- When she gazes at you, you just get lost in those deep eyes...

- And finally, to you, she outbeats Angelina Jolie as the most beautiful woman in teh world ;) LOL! Right On Catapharact! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif

Catapharact
26-10-05, 15:45
Originally posted by Capt. Murphy:

Sometimes I say or do something to get myself a slap in the arm by this gal. Or she pulls her fist back as if to hit me. Then there's times I'm a sounding board for her 'troubles'. :confused: Hmmmmm, You sound like someone I know...

Jorre man, step in here for a moment http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif LOL!

Gomes
26-10-05, 16:10
Funny. This reminds me of the song "That don't impress me much".

I quit on romantic relationships, they make no sense to me. Too much acting and expectations involved.

Catapharact
26-10-05, 16:25
Man Seems like almost everyone is giving up on romance these days...

Now I feel like the only guy on the forums with a rose in his hand http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif LOL!

http://www.robinterrae.homestead.com/files/anime_pictures/Yami_no_Matsuei/tsuzuki_rose.jpg

Acting has nothing to do with Romance http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif .

Nicky
26-10-05, 16:37
Catapharact :D How do you manage to always find the perfect picture to illustrate your posts? http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

*saves piccie http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/whistle.gif :D *

[ 26. October 2005, 17:44: Message edited by: Nicky ]

Catapharact
26-10-05, 16:45
You trained me remember? ;) LOL!
Guess I am just good at googling LOL!

Edit: Talk of flowers took to to find this LOL!


The Scent of Romance

There once lived a great Greek physician by the name of Hippocrates. Better known as "the father of modern medicine," he believed that "the way to health is to have an aromatic bath and scented massage every day."

Hippocrates, like the ancient Egyptians, thought that the application of certain oils could influence the body and the mind. In addition to the physical application of essential oils, aromatherapy was another way of using oils for better health. In fact, aromatheraphy was commonly used by the Arabic, Greek, Chinese, and Hebrew peoples of ancient times.

The essential oils that can bring relief to both the mind and body are derived from numerous wild and cultivated plants. The oils contain antibiotic, antiseptic, and anti-inflammatory properties that can enhance your physical well being and mood.

You are likely familiar with a variety of these essential oils.

Frankincense: This essential oil is also known for its relaxing elements. Used during ancient times in religious rituals, today it can be utilized in a bath for stress reduction.

Jasmine: The benefits of jasmine for skin care are well known. Jasmine has a heavy yet pleasant aroma and is effective in relieving tension and anxiety when used in massage oil.

Chamomile: The chamomile flower was considered sacred to the ancient Egyptians. This flower was offered to their Sun God, Ra. When chamomile is first distilled, it is a shade of blue. In time, the color changes to yellow. Chamomile is known to have relaxing properties and is effective for relieving muscle pain when rubbed into the effected area.

Lavender: The essential oil found in lavender is used in the treatment of skin problems. Lavender is very effective when applied in massage oil and in your bath water.

Nature has provided mankind with a vast array of natural elements that can enhance our daily lives. If you have not yet incorporated essential oils into your routines, consider doing so. You may discover your lifestyle enriched by it.


And people, Romance isn't defined in stone. What is Romantic to one, may not be to another. Find your own special moment http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif .

[ 26. October 2005, 18:16: Message edited by: Catapharact ]