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Andromeda66
28-10-05, 20:26
Little Sparrow
Once upon a time there was a non conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to Earth in a barnyard, nearly frozen solid.
A cow passed by where he had fallen, and ****ped on the little sparrow.
The sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings! Warm and happy, able to breath, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by, and heard the chirping. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.


The Moral of the Story: Everyone who ****s on you is not necessarily your enemy. Everyone who gets you out of **** is not necessarily your friend. And if you're warm and happy in a pile of ****, you might just want to keep your mouth shut.

[ 30. October 2005, 14:56: Message edited by: Andromeda66 ]

max_anu
28-10-05, 20:30
nice one PD http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif

T.Onix
28-10-05, 20:30
I heard this from Julianne Moore in Assasins, with Sylvester Stallone and Antonio Banderas.

Very truthful, though

_Mica_
28-10-05, 20:38
LOL thats a good one :D

tlr online
29-10-05, 05:05
LOL!

mau3genius
29-10-05, 05:11
http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif

Draco
29-10-05, 08:08
Haha

nikos
29-10-05, 08:26
TRUE!

Nephili
29-10-05, 10:29
LOL!

deepbluesea
29-10-05, 11:51
true and http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif

Laras Backpack
29-10-05, 11:54
http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif

Janny
29-10-05, 18:00
And if you're warm and happy in a pile of ****, you might just want to keep your mouth shut. 'nice' story http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif

thesmallprint
29-10-05, 18:58
Lol!

Tomb Raider Master
29-10-05, 19:16
:D But that's true.

just croft
29-10-05, 19:21
LOLOL! I didn't hear that story in a long time!

http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif

amlai
29-10-05, 19:23
Hehehe! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif

Joseph
30-10-05, 00:34
I laugh about it, and it is absolutely true! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif

Andromeda66
30-10-05, 14:57
Just for additions:

One day a farmer's donkey fell into an abandoned well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it just wasn't worth it to him to try to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

Realizing what was happening, the donkey at first cried and wailed horribly.

Then, a few shovelfuls later, he quieted down completely. The farmer peered down Into the well, and was astounded by what he saw. With every shovelful of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up on the new layer of dirt. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off, to the shock and astonishment of all the neighbors!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to not let it bury you, but to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping-stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!

Remember the five simple rules to a happy life:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Also, the donkey kicked the **** out of the guy that tried to bury him. Which brings me to another moral for this story: When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back and gets you.

Greenkey2
30-10-05, 20:38
lol to that one Andromeda! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif I just can't get the image of Shrek's Donkey doing that out of my mind! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif

Atlantea
31-10-05, 07:15
Haha, I knew the first story, but I didn't know the second one - and yes, like Greenkey2 I just couldn't help thinking about Shrek's Donkey!! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif

Andromeda66
31-10-05, 14:40
The Cutest ***
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/bellatrix66/Cuteass.jpg

:D

[ 31. October 2005, 14:42: Message edited by: Andromeda66 ]