View Full Version : My very, very first fanfic

24-10-05, 14:28
Finally, I decided to write a fanfic. Don't suprise, if It's boring, or bad. http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/redface.gif Here's the first part:
Curse of Adrien's book

23:28 pm Star hotel
Lara and Kurtis are stared at the book.
"I don't get it. What does it mean under When 1 is 2 and 2 is 1, there's trouble with them. ? Asked Lara.
"Maybe a curse."
"You know, like you're stoled a book, then you get 5 eyes or somethin' like that."

"Come on kurtis.,She was only 14 years old. Why does she wants us death, or something? Than she stopped.
"We'll solve this problem tomorrow. Let's go sleep."

Next morning 6:00 am

When Lara woke up, she went in the bathroom tired. She looked in the mirror jumped back, than yelled:
"Bloody hell!

End of first part
comment: Looks like Lara didn't liked the thing, what she saw in the mirror.... http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

24-10-05, 14:29
Interesting story, I like it! Post more soon, Angel! :D

24-10-05, 14:46
Cool story, well done Angel 14! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

24-10-05, 15:51
Chapter 2

She looked again in the mirror, to make sure, that she wasn’t hallucinate. And no, she isn’t! She looked like Kurtis! Her body, voice, everything changed to Kurtis.
„Oh, my god! But wait, if I’m Kurtis, Kurtis must be ..... Oh, no!
she ran into the bedroom and saw Kurtis is sleeping, but in her body!
„Kurtis wake up!”
Come on Kurtis, open your eyes!
„Holy ****! I’m must be dreaming.!”
Lara grabbed Kurtis’s arm, pulled him into the bathroom and said. Look into the mirror!”
Kurtis looked in and after a few seconds he smiled:
What’s cool?!
„I’m look like you Lara, that’s cool. and I get your sound to!
That’s not cool!”
„Because, I’m stucked in your body, you’re in mine, so, you can do anything with it!”
„Good idea. First of all I.....” Said Kurtis sarcastly.
„Kurtis, If I see you touching every part of my body, I’ll brake your little neck!”
„Okay, was just kiddin’!”
„Maybe It’s a curse...”
„You said, you don’t belive in curses.”
„But living in your body, with your sound, is a real course” Said Lara In a half-smile. „We have to do this thing back. „Dress, up, than we plan something.”

End of chapter

Crafting Lara Croft
24-10-05, 17:29
I´ve to catch my breath again first (because of all the laughing), so I let the smilies speak for me instead:
http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/vlol.gif !!!
Great, Angel_14!
I just love it! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

24-10-05, 17:50
Like the story so far http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif Post more soon!!

24-10-05, 18:25
Chapter 3.

"while they "tried" to dress, Kurtis asked:
Lara, can I ask you a question?"
"How can you tie your shoelace?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your big breasts are alwys in the way and I can't
see my shoes!"
"Very funny."
"What's oooops?. Lara looked at Kurtis.
"Your nail, I broke it."
"What!? You stupid, egoist, American monkey! After all things are back, you give me a free manicure!" Lara yelled.
"Hey, take it easy, It's just a nail!"
Lara rolled her eyes. "Oh, whatever."
'You stupid yenk, You'll never going to know, what a nail means for a woman.' Lara tought.
After they dressed up, they stared at each other.
"I feel uncomfortable in this little short and in this top. And the long hair! It's just an annoying thing!"
"Welcome to the ladies world" Said Lara with a smile.

End of chapter.
The next chapter is going to have some other things, than talking. I promese!

[ 24. October 2005, 19:30: Message edited by: Angel_14 ]

Crafting Lara Croft
24-10-05, 19:21
I´m sorry, I hope my message hasn´t been misunderstood. :(
I was laughing because of the funny things happening in the story and wanted to show this.
I was not laughing because of your writing or the story itself (as fanfic).
Please excuse me if my message seemed this way.
I really like your story, Angel_14!

24-10-05, 20:33
Very good, but try to include some singing pototoes next time.

Tomb Raider Master
24-10-05, 20:38
Very cool and interesting Angel! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif

25-10-05, 06:59
Love the story Angel_14 http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif !Can hardly wait to see what happens next!

25-10-05, 10:19
hm.......funny very funny!! Loved it next chapter please angel!!

25-10-05, 11:42
So little time try to understand that I'm Trying to make a move, just to still in the game I try to stay awake and remember my name But everybody's changing And I don't fell the same.

chapter 4
10:24 am Croft manor, libary
"Look Kurtis, I found sometthing!" And Lara showed a book for Kurtis.
"it says, that this Adrien girl lived in the 13th. century. She write a diary, about her little secrets, and she didn't wanted everybody to read it. So she put a course on it, to scare everybody."
"How can we breake it?"
"We have to meet and ask her to breake the course."
"Lara, I think if she's dead, because she lived 800 years ago..."
"Maybe. But we have to try it. I don't want to spend my remaining life as a boy."
"Where does she lives"
"I don't know. but I'll found it, where."

Croft manor, 22:18 pm

Lara get in the bedroom and woke up Kurtis.
"Kurtis. start packing. We're going to Florida."

End of chapter

Tomb Raider Master
25-10-05, 12:56
It's so interesting! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif Hurry up with the sequel! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/jumper.gif

25-10-05, 16:00
"I see you lookin at me
Like I'm some kind of freak
Care to buy me a seat
Why dont you do somethin'?"

Chapter 5

Florida, Steel manor

Lara and Kurtis stood in front of a very beautiful and big house.
"The book says, she lives here." Said Lara.
"Interesting, I tought, she's living in a creepy old dark castle in the hills."
"Kurtis, you watched to many horror films"
The door opened, and an old woman opened the door.
"Can I help you?"
"Yes. We are looking for a person called Adrien. Do you know her?"
"Sure. Come in."
After they went in, a girl with long, dark brown hair, ran down and yelled:
"How many times, I have to say, I DON'T WANT TO BUY FASHION MAGAZINES?!"
When she saw Lara's, and Kurtis's pistol, she said:
"I guess you're not here to buy me something, aren't you?"
"Can I ask your full name?"
"Adrien Steel". And yours?
"Errrr, I'm Kurtis Trent, and she's Lara Croft." Said Lara confused.
"So, Kurtis what do you want from me?"
"Look Adrien. Me and my partner read your diary then the next day our bodyes changed. Now I'm got his body, and He's got mine."
"So, be a good girl, and break up this curse, before I get angry!" Said Kurtis angry.
"Kurtis, shut up, I'm talking to Adrien, not to you!"
"so Adrien, can you break up, this course?"
"No, I can't." Came the quick anwser

End of chapter

25-10-05, 18:36
You made me very curious! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/jumper.gif
Hope you write more soon!

25-10-05, 19:44
„Been a naughty girl
Real bad so and so
Done too many things a girl shouldn't know
I swear I never knew
I could hurt you so
One too many things a girl shouldn't know”

Chapter 6

„I want deal. I broke the curse, and you’ll do a little favour for me.”
“Okay. What do you want?”
„Hmmm, maybe..... Be my servants.”
„Be my servant. Not forever, just for one week. If you don’t like my idea, I have to use the voodoos” Than she pulled out 2 little dolls from her pack. The first looked like Lara, the second looked like Kurtis.
„Woodoos? She’s crazy, Lara, don’t offer her deal!” Said Kurtis.
„Okay, I’m in the deal.”
„What?!” Said Kurtis angry.
„Good. Now go to sleep and when you wake up, you’re going to be in your real bodyes.”

Next morning 5:00 am

Lara woke up and watched at her body.
„At least, I’m in my real body.” tought happily, than went back to sleep.
Adrien stepped in the room smiled, and said:
„it’s voodoo time!”

End chapter

Tomb Raider Master
25-10-05, 20:46
Great! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif

„it’s voodoo time!”http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/yikes.gif You made me very curios! :D

[ 25. October 2005, 21:48: Message edited by: Tomb Raider Master ]

25-10-05, 21:07
Wow, very good! Seems like we've got yet another talented writer at the forums, great job, Angel! Post more ASAP! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif :D

Crafting Lara Croft
26-10-05, 04:37
Really cool! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif
I can only totally agree with xMiSsCrOfTx!
Please, Angel, go on writing!

26-10-05, 07:49
Cool story http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif
Next chapter please!!

26-10-05, 14:38
"You think your right
But you were wrong
You tried to take me
But I knew all along
You can take me
For a ride
I'm not a fool out
So you better run and hide"

Adrien made Lara to go into Kurtis's room.
"This will be the best joke I've ever done."Tought naughty, while controlling Lara to Kurtis's bed. Lara lied in the bed, then Adrien made her to hug Kurtis.
"What a beautiful couple!" Said Adri, While living the room.

Next morning

Lara woke up and when she saw that Kurtis is sleeping next to her, She screamed, and fell down the bed. Kurtis woke up and asked:
"Lara, what are you doing here?"
"Me, I don't know!"
"Come on Lara, if you want to sleep with me, you don't have to scuttle in my room, just ask me, okay?"
"What? I don't want to sleep with you! Even you're the last man on this earth!"
"If you didn't't want to sleep with me, what are you doing here?"
"Adrien! She used the voodoos!"
Lara ran into Adrien's room and yelled:
"Stop it!"
"Stop what?"
"Stop using your voodoos on me!"
Adrien started to laugh.
"What's so funny?!"
"Sorry Lara, but I had to do it. You're looking soooo nice together!"
"No, we aren't!"
"Lara, I can read in his and your mine. You'll never know, what kind of nasty things did he tought about you, when he locked you into that aircabine. Plus you're making a great couple!"
"No, we aren't!"
Kurtis stepped in the room.
"What's going on?"
"Glad you're here Kurtis, we have to discuss something." Said Adrien with a smile.
"While you're my servants you'll get a new name."
"What's the problem with our name?"
"They're boring."
"What's the problem with Kurtis?"
"Nothing. It's souch a dull name for a guy like you. From now, you name is Kurti."
"Kurti?!" Lara smiled, than started to laugh.
"And Lara. It's a very boring name too. From now, you're Laura."
"What?!" Lara stopped laughing "It's almost sounds like Lara!"
"For me It's not. And from now, I'm not Adrien.
I'm going to be Angel."

"The devil from the hell passes her better."Said Lara under her breath.
„I’ve noiticed that Laura!” Said Angel

26-10-05, 15:46
Lol hilerious! write more quick!!

26-10-05, 19:05
"Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby"

Chapter 7

"OK, Laura, here's you doing for today." Said Angel, while giving to Lara a list

-Wash up
-Tidy my room
-wash clothes
-clean the batrooms
-buy me chocolate
-make breakfast
-make lunch
-make dinner
-clean the swimming pool
"And you Kurti, all you have to do, is help for Laura. If these things aren't finished 'till the evening, I will use the woodoos again!" And she lived her room.

At the swimming pool, 19:16 pm

"This is your fault."
"Kurtis, do you really think that I wanted to be a servant of this girl?!"
"But you wanted to get that damned book"
"But you wanted to help me."
"No. you asked me, to help you." And he moved closer to Lara
"No, you wanted" Lara stepped closer.
"No, you wanted" Kurtis took another. They were wery close, they could feel each other's breath.
angel stepped in:
"Sorry, did I disturb your little romantic talking?"
"Angel!" they yelled.
"I just came in to say, that you weren't finished with the list. The only thing what you were done is cleaning the pull. But nobody knows, what did you do before I came in."
"We were cleaning the pull. But this monkey begain to teasing me!"
"No, I weren't!"
"Stop! You're acting like wife and husband! And I want you to live happily with each other!" And she pulled out the woodoos, and a needle and a yarm.
"What are you going to do" Asked Lara worried.
"I really didn't wanted to do this, but I have to." Than she begain sew the dolls chest.
"What the?!" Lara begain, but she couldn't finish
the sentence, because her chest stucked with Kurtis's chest.

End chapter

27-10-05, 07:42
Wow, nice turn in the story http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif

btw it isn't just a coencidience that the girl's name is Angel is it? http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/whistle.gif

27-10-05, 13:23
Okay, let me explain:
-My real name is Adrienn Steel
-The girl in the story is me http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/whistle.gif
-Shortly: I put my self into the story
Understand? Right. Next chapter coming soon

Tomb Raider Master
27-10-05, 13:50
http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/yikes.gif Cool! http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif

Crafting Lara Croft
27-10-05, 15:11
Very interesting, really metaphoric!
I wonder what will happen next... http://www.tombraiderforums.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

27-10-05, 16:30
"Can you keep up?
Baby boy, make me lose my breath
Bring the noise, make me lose my breath
Hit me Hard, make me lose my (Hah Hah)"

chapter 8

"You sneaky, little thing!" Lara yelled.
"Calm down, Laura, don't make things worse!" Than she lived the room.
"can things go worse after this?!"
"Calm down Lara, she's right. watch the positive side of it. Our bodyes are so close. Almost connected."
"Wery funny." Lara gave him a grimace.
"We're have to stop her"
"As you wish. But how do want to stop her?"
"We stole her woodoos." They went to Adrien's room. after 2 hour searching, they didn't find it. "
"Countinue searching tomorrow, Lara."
"Okay said Lara sadly."
They went in the bedroom.
"I'll be above."
"Oh, Lara, do you know, how much time I'm waited for you, to say this?"
"DON'T even think about it, Kurtis."
"Just kiddin'."
"Kurtis, you're so uncomfortable!"
"Because your stupid chest has hard muscles, and It's presses my...."
"Your breasts?"
"Oh, yeah, whatever...."

next morning

"Yeah?" said Kurtis half asleep.
"Stop hugging Me!"
"Oooppsss, sorry Lara"
"Sleep well?" Adrien stepped in the room.
"If we take out Kurtis's uncomfortable chest, his annoying texts and his nore, yes." Said Lara with a smile.
"Good, because you both have free day today."
"because I have to meet with somebody, and you're going to be alone."
"At least good news!" Said Lara happily.
"I'm not going to be at home 'till midnight, so have fun!" And she leave the house.

And chapter