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View Full Version : Some nightly thoughtsII- is what we write the same others will read?


Pipolinne
31-12-05, 01:58
Hello!

Last time I had a late night thought,lol,the result was a thread about the Nephilim.But,for now,I'll let Karel rest :).

Now(don't know why,but I do feel like Carrie Bradshaw*),I was thinking if,in a specific context like forums , where there are no visual contact,no dialogue,if what we write is what others will read.Most of the ideas we have on the other members are mainly idealized,imagined,actually.The thread on gender and avatars confirmed that idea:with no logical motive,we've infered about other's gender.So,will our ideas on another member to bias the way we read her/his posts?

A huge pratical motive is,of course,the fact not all members have english as their first language,and that increases the misunderstandings.But is that enough?Won't be the major question that we are indeed talking to someone who's mainly a projection of our own ideas?Or,perhaps the fact,in a forum,there's no way to control the way the other will read our posts?So,how do we know what we consider to be humour is going to be considered the same way for another person?Should we explain all our jokes,put a lot of smilies or behave ourselves like if we were in a Vitorian dinner?

I'm pretty sure some members will read this as a personal thing,some will just think I'm crazy , and some might even think it makes sense ( I won't tell the ones who won the lottery,lol).

Personally, I think it's best to face others have another view on things and go along.Unless we want to die of boreness ;)!

Draco
31-12-05, 02:05
The hardest thing for anyone to do is realize that not everyone perceives the same world the same way. Once you can realize that, your interactions with other people become incredibly interesting.

xMiSsCrOfTx
31-12-05, 02:08
The hardest thing for anyone to do is realize that not everyone perceives the same world the same way.

Totally agreed. It sounds simple, but yet no one takes it into consideration.

Tramp
31-12-05, 02:12
Even in English there have been some amazing changes in the meaning of words. For example: What we call a RECIPE today in past days was called a RECEIPT. Nowadays a receipt is proof of payment not the ingredient list and directions for making some kind of food dish. Big difference.

Pipolinne
31-12-05, 11:48
That's not the point,at least for me.The point is if are able to know the other in a context like this one,or if the purpose of a place like this is that kind of relation.Presently,I'm feeling a bit pessimist about the thing,lol,but it'll change,lol!

Like Tramp said,there's always a constant mutation,many times what we are writting it's not what we wanted to tell...lol,I'm only watching qustion marks!

Anubis_AF
31-12-05, 12:13
Exactly Pipolinne.
You can't fill your posts with smilies so that everyone get it's a joek or not Sometimes, you just seek the common sense.

Capt. Murphy
31-12-05, 13:52
I seen the topic title and knew I had to post this. Pardon me for breaking off the thread onto my own... problems. :o

*Sparing the details*: Last night at work something wasn't done that should've been done during the day. So I left a note for the lady that comes in - in the moring. The note went something like this:

[her name] - Please remember to wash (all of) the rags. Thank You.

So in the morning she gets there. Then at some point she tells me; "I wish you wouldn't be a smarta :cen: s and leave me stupid little notes! I've worked here long enough, I should know how to do my job!" :mad:

I was shocked? She starts accusing me of being a smart *bleep*. Then I ask her; "Well, who's responsibility was it to wash the rags?" I apologized to her saying I didn't know who was supposed to do it.

It's just that there have been other times SHE has worked and the same thing has happened. I didn't tell her that, but I just put 2 and 2 together and, well... :whi:

So what she read wasn't how I intended it to come across. That's just like the title of this topic. Neat. ;)

:o But this isn't the first time she's acted snotty towards me.

Geck-o-Lizard
31-12-05, 14:13
What's that, you want a prawn cracker?

Ooooh, sorry, misread your post. :o

...have a cracker anyway. *gives cracker to everyone in the thread*

I HATE it when I post a joke that gets taken the wrong way, or something serious that everyone else takes as a joke. Subtlety isn't my strong point either.

Andromeda66
31-12-05, 14:23
There are some things that words don't express as well as the tone does. Though its strange how you can sometimes hear the sarcasm blaring through a post.

Neteru
31-12-05, 19:30
So,will our ideas on another member to bias the way we read her/his posts?

Won't be the major question that we are indeed talking to someone who's mainly a projection of our own ideas?

Or,perhaps the fact,in a forum,there's no way to control the way the other will read our posts?

So,how do we know what we consider to be humour is going to be considered the same way for another person?

Personally, I think it's best to face others have another view on things and go along.


Yes. Everything one perceives is filtered through one's own mindset, with all it's prejudices, complexes and distortions.

Generally, yes. Following on from the above, you can say that the views of everyone are tainted.

There is no way to control how a person percieves you or your words in any walk of life. People are individualised, and each person must eventually come to accept that the world does not in fact revolve around them.

You don't and can't know, but you can generally accept that it is likely that most people will get the gist of your meaning, whilst being relatively prepared that there are going to be those who will percieve you and your words in a totally different way. Of course, the ratios will change depending upon the similarities of social conditioning that any two people have.

That would be the resolution of the egocentric phase. Bear in mind also that on this and many other forums, the greater part of the membership are kids who are precisely in the middle of this phase and are as such going to be even less likely to accept your ideal. It can also explain why arguments are all the more likely to occur.

Kamrusepas
31-12-05, 19:46
The hardest thing for anyone to do is realize that not everyone perceives the same world the same way.


Well, except for the fact that everyone usually believes they're right and the others wrong :p

Ampersand
31-12-05, 19:52
That made for good reading, Neteru!

Thankfully I've rarely had big misunderstanding online (simply because I don't interact with people online much), but I've had loads in real life. I tend to mutter when I speak, and people think I'm having a moan. They then start having a go at me, which makes me angry, so I answer back. :o

When it comes to forums and the like, I just try to express myself as clearly as possible to people I can't see. Unfortunately I tend to be a bit blunt and come across as opinionated. Usually, when they know what I'm about and what my sense of humour is like, they're fine.

If I think I'm typing something that could potentially be interpreted the wrong way, I try re-phrasing, or just stickin' an emote in. ;)

But it's difficult to look for hidden meanings in your own words, even when you try really hard. The most you can do is hope, and be ready to say sorry and whip out an apologetic smiley...

Draco
31-12-05, 19:55
Well, except for the fact that everyone usually believes they're right and the others wrong :p

Nobody trusts anyone as much as they trust themselves ;)