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Lara Coft Baby
27-03-06, 03:50
A friend had sent this to me in an email and i though it was really funny so i thought id post it to give you guys a laugh :jmp: :tea:

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

1. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that?! It's like camping.

xMiSsCrOfTx
27-03-06, 03:51
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

LOL! :vlol: I love how they're all numbered 1. :D

SUGARPIE
27-03-06, 03:52
:vlol: seen this before - very good!

But women always need the loo seat down - it's only men who lift it though why I don't know because they have a rubbish aim anyway :p

Lara Coft Baby
27-03-06, 04:04
:vlol: seen this before - very good!

But women always need the loo seat down - it's only men who lift it though why I don't know because they have a rubbish aim anyway :p
yeah :p :vlol:

DREWY
27-03-06, 04:21
So the women haven't worked it out yet. PUT THE SEAT UP WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED! :vlol:

MattTR
27-03-06, 04:25
LOL! :vlol: I love how they're all numbered 1. :D
Lol! Me too. :vlol: Leaves alot of places for #2 to start. :p

Jacob x5
27-03-06, 05:08
:vlol: :vlol: Great! All very true! :D :vlol:

I've never understood the whole 'toilet seat' arguement. Both sides have to move it some way or another, so both sides have to suffer! Case closed. :p

Jacob x5
27-03-06, 05:09
:vlol: seen this before - very good!

But women always need the loo seat down - it's only men who lift it though why I don't know because they have a rubbish aim anyway :p

So it's not just mine, then?

JACOBryanBURNS
27-03-06, 05:20
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

Not a female or anything, but lord, if I ask you if I'm looking fat and you reply yes...i might tackle you. I'm not asking because I want to know, I'm asking because even if I am, I want you to lie and make me feel good. Eesh. Although, this is the funniest thing I've read in a long time! Nice find!:tea:

SUGARPIE
27-03-06, 05:27
It's really quite simple.

Men stand up and lift the seat to pee and they need the seat down to do anything more time-consuming :p

In light of the fact that women can use the seat-down-option for both funtime activities, it is the man who must be responsible for both lifting and thereafter replacing the seat :D

Lonely Istari
27-03-06, 06:08
:vlol: :vlol: Great! All very true! :D :vlol:

I've never understood the whole 'toilet seat' arguement. Both sides have to move it some way or another, so both sides have to suffer! Case closed. :p

I quite agree with you there. I mean come on girls, is it really going to kill us to have to put a toilet seat down? It will only take all of 0.5 seconds... the world is not going to end... and the same goes for guys... so no one has the right to claim who should put it up or down

if it's up and you need to put it down, do it. If it's down and you need it up... do it. It's as simple as that. :p

Jacob x5
27-03-06, 06:24
It's really quite simple.

Men stand up and lift the seat to pee and they need the seat down to do anything more time-consuming :p

In light of the fact that women can use the seat-down-option for both funtime activities, it is the man who must be responsible for both lifting and thereafter replacing the seat :D

Well my solution to the problem is to put both seats down when I'm finished, so whoever goes next has to do something. :D

JACOBryanBURNS
27-03-06, 06:32
Well my solution to the problem is to put both seats down when I'm finished, so whoever goes next has to do something. :D

Well said! I do like that idea!:D

Scottlee
27-03-06, 08:41
Yeah, I seem to remember making this thread in General Chat about 1-2 years ago. Always worth seeing it re-issued though. It's very funny.

:D

BlackGrey
27-03-06, 08:45
:vlol: Can't stop laughing!

MiCkiZ88
27-03-06, 08:45
:vlol: :D

Greenkey2
27-03-06, 09:58
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

And even then it seldom works :hea: :pi: :p


I have also threatened to paint a bullseye on the inside of the loo. Aiming seems to be optional to some people :rolleyes: At least in that area us women have nothing to worry about (unless our behinds are so thin that we keep falling in).

CerebralAssassin
27-03-06, 11:10
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

..and if some other woman wears the same the thing your wearing,it means you have the same good taste!Yay!

Neteru
27-03-06, 18:37
OK, let's get this toilet seat issue sorted once and for all. Up or down? The seat should be left down, always. This is so that the lid can also be placed down. It is a simple matter of hygiene.

If you, male or female, flush your toilet when the lid is up, then your floor and walls around the toilet (and anything else in the immediate vicinity, including toothbrushes for example) are covered in what you left in it before you flushed!

Don't be vile, seat and lid down.

JACOBryanBURNS
27-03-06, 18:40
And even then it seldom works :hea: :pi: :p


I have also threatened to paint a bullseye on the inside of the loo. Aiming seems to be optional to some people :rolleyes: At least in that area us women have nothing to worry about (unless our behinds are so thin that we keep falling in).

again, not a woman, but my boyfriend is AWFUL about this. I mean the bowll is a foot across, how hard can it really be? Ugh. And Agreed with neteru also, put the damn thing down. Always. It just looks better, too.

SUGARPIE
27-03-06, 18:41
The best trick ever is to lift the lid and seat and then cover it tightly with clingfilm. Woo hoo stand outside and listen for the reaction :vlol:

Pipolinne
27-03-06, 18:41
I quite agree with you there. I mean come on girls, is it really going to kill us to have to put a toilet seat down? It will only take all of 0.5 seconds... the world is not going to end... and the same goes for guys... so no one has the right to claim who should put it up or down

if it's up and you need to put it down, do it. If it's down and you need it up... do it. It's as simple as that. :p


Well,not only I don't understand the toilette point,as I'm a woman who thinks is highly amusing try to deal with the electrodomestics's problems!I just love machines :D!

Lara's Boy
27-03-06, 18:48
OK, let's get this toilet seat issue sorted once and for all. Up or down? The seat should be left down, always. This is so that the lid can also be placed down. It is a simple matter of hygiene.

If you, male or female, flush your toilet when the lid is up, then your floor and walls around the toilet (and anything else in the immediate vicinity, including toothbrushes for example) are covered in what you left in it before you flushed!

Don't be vile, seat and lid down.

Quite agree. Who wants to brush with what was in the toilet? I know I don't! But thanks for posting, I am glad one of us guys finally made that list....:D :p

Nephili
27-03-06, 19:30
So the women haven't worked it out yet. PUT THE SEAT UP WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED! :vlol:

LOL :D That is true :p

BoyTRaider
27-03-06, 19:38
Lmao!! That was good! :vlol:

interstellardave
27-03-06, 19:51
OK, let's get this toilet seat issue sorted once and for all. Up or down? The seat should be left down, always. This is so that the lid can also be placed down. It is a simple matter of hygiene.

If you, male or female, flush your toilet when the lid is up, then your floor and walls around the toilet (and anything else in the immediate vicinity, including toothbrushes for example) are covered in what you left in it before you flushed!

Don't be vile, seat and lid down.

Actually I would agree with you, because it seems to make sense, but I think I saw on Mythbusters that it didn't matter either way...the same amount of "stuff" was found all over the bathroom (and not only that but elsewhere in the house!) whether the seat and lid were up OR down. Just an interestingly creepy fact...

Tramp
27-03-06, 21:05
Apart from what Net said which are all absolutely true. The seat should be put down. It's really annoying at 2.30 am with no glasses on, half asleep and getting a call of nature and you sit down and damn near fall in. My bums not that big. I don't have a problem with the lid as my loo is outside and not in my bathroom.

The lid should also go down as it's not good for the dogs to drink out of the bowl. Especially if you use coloured smelly stuff in the bowl.

_Mica_
27-03-06, 21:15
:vlol: