View Full Version : The Simpsons: Quotes and Good Times

05-05-06, 03:12
hiya everybody! I am a gigantic fan of The Simpsons. (on FOX here in the US) and I would like to share some of my favorite moments from the show with you, and if you have any feel free to contribute them as well!!

In the Episode: "Mother Simpson"

Mona Simpson(Homer's Mother): "Nevermind that now, lets just enjoy this moment."
Homer Simpson: "Mom, there's something I should tell you. I almost always spoil the moment."
(A large pelican suddenly flies in and lands on Homer's head. Then it coughs up a fish which falls into Homer's pants and wriggles around)

In the Episode: "The Otto Show"

Selma Bouvier(DMV Employee testing Otto for his licence):
"You failed every segment and misspelled 'bus' on your application."

Selma Bouvier: "When you do good, I use the green pen, when you do bad, I use the red pen. Any questions?"
Otto Mann: "Uh, Yea, You used to be a man right? You can tell me, I'm open minded."
Selma Bouvier: "I won't be needing this!" (drops the green pen in the trash)

more to come!!

05-05-06, 03:17
Just about now I am missing all my Simpsons smilies. DOH!!

05-05-06, 03:20
Simpson comics is better and funnier than the TV show...

The funny quote I remember right now is from the comic which Bart deported all teacher from Springfield elementry...and Martin Prince step in as the subsitute...

Martin (hiding in a bullet proof glass case after being constantly attacked by Nelson for several days): I'm sorry I have to resort to this, class. But can't you just listen to me for a second?

Nelson (wielding a blow torch and cutting the glass): Might as well, this is gonna take few minutes...

Martin: Why do you have to view education as your enemy?

Nelson: What did education ever do to us?

Bart: Yeah, besides ruining fun all the time?

Martin: By rejecting education, you are denying yourself to possible finiancial rewards in the future.

Nelson (shutting off the torch): Well, why didn't you just say so?

Martin (opening a book): Okay, class, let's start with chapter one, shall we?

Bart (whispering): When do you think he will pay us?

Nelson (whispering and gesturing): He better or POW!

Jacob x5
05-05-06, 05:15
I'm seasons behind. I don't tend to watch them on TV anymore. Homer's had some great lines in the past but it's difficult to think of one at the moment.

05-05-06, 06:28
Homer He may have all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy..

Marge Oh yeah? What's that ?

Homer .........a Dinosaur.

05-05-06, 06:40
It was, a Fantastic show that has been turned on its head in recent seasons, the jokes dried up and so instead they filled it full of surreal situations and made a real mess of it. I used to watch the Simpsons and giggle like a child all the way through, if i watch an episode now, i find that i'm trying to force out a slight grin.

It was exactly the same with FRIENDS, by season 5 they had taken the characters as far as they could, yet they kept pumping out season after season:confused: When Friends began they were all pretty cool and i could have been friends with them all, by the end of the 10th series/season, i might still have hung out with Joey but the rest of the gang had turned into a bunch of freaks.:(

Monica:In early seasons she was smart and sexy, by the end she was ugly, stupid and annoying!.

Phoebe:In early seasons, she was sweet and friendly, by the end she was mean and nasty.

Rachel:Changed least out of the girls, but God that tan:confused:, she always looked deep fried by the end!.

Ross:Smart and funny, if a little dorky and unworldly, by the end he was dumber than Joey(and that hair?).

Chandler:Brilliant, funny, loveable character(like me:D ), by the end he was an annoying geek and the only one who laughed at his own lame jokes!.

Joey:Great guy, and in my opinion the only one who didnt go through a complete character change!.

Anyway, what i'm saying is, why cant they just let great shows like this go out with a bang(like they deserve?), Why instead would they rather go out with a whimper?:confused:

If its Comedy and its not funny, then its just embarrasing!!!.

05-05-06, 06:54
I love The Simpsons!!!

Jacob x5
05-05-06, 06:59
Homer: 20 Dollars? Oh, I wanted a peanut. :(
Homer's brain: 20 Dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.


05-05-06, 07:14
It is a good show,i catch it when i can

05-05-06, 08:01
homer: it's going to be like david and goliath. only this time, david will win!
lisa's brain: i know. i heard it, too. here's some music.
[lisa's brain plays classical music. lisa looks euphoric.]

05-05-06, 10:38
I love The Simpsons, here are some I find funny:

When Homer Goes Back To New York

"So hungry"

*Sees a Pizza shop on the other side of the road*

"I can't leave my car, so hmmm"

"Im getting closer...."

*Grabs a stick*


*Falls down*

Also the bit when he needs the toilet, asks the man..

"Er, have you got a mens room in there?"

Man: "No, just some strange food" can't even say the word he says!

Also the Episode when Bart moves out.

Bart: "Mum, look I have had my whole belly pierced"

Marge: "Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Bart: "Relax, they are clip ons!"

05-05-06, 10:49
:vlol: Great quotes, guys! The Simpsons is classic! :D

05-05-06, 10:54
*Song* (when the kwiki mart closes due to health violations)

Marge - Who needs the kwiki mart
Lisa - Their buns are sticki-mart
Bart - Lets hurl a bricki-mart
Homer - The Kwiki mart is so...D'oh!

05-05-06, 11:00
I donīt know an english quote because iīm from germany but I translate it. Maybe itīs really the same in english.

When Homer is nearly about to divorce from marge and he moves in the tree house (donīt know the reason now). Bart or Lisa come to the Treehouse to give Homer a pudding and tell him to think about something to get Marge back.

And the only thing he can think about is: "Eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding!"

Thatīs so funny.
And the fact that he looks very dirty in this episode after 1 day! in the Treehouse is funny, too.

05-05-06, 11:01
Homer to Marge: "You're as pretty as Princess Leia, and as wise as Yoda."


05-05-06, 11:04
Mr Burns - Dogs are idiots. Tell me Smithers, if I was to come up to you and sniff your crotch and slobber all over your face, what would you say?

Smithers - Hmm, if you did it sir?

05-05-06, 11:07
Mr. Burns: "Smithers there's a rocket in my pocket."

Smithers: "You don't have to tell me sir."

05-05-06, 13:54
There's an Episode when Skinner reveals he is not Skinner, and Homer thinks to himself:

"Move slowly towards the cake................."

The Tony Hawk Episode is good too:

Tony: "Your going down Homer, and back up, and down, and back up again, that's how the game is played!"

When Mr Burns is on KBBL:

KBBL Guy: "How many times do you go to the can(toilet) a day?"

Mr Burns: "Hmm, about 40 I suppose"

Plus when Mr Burns and co go and find the Loch Ness Monster

Mr Burns: "Come on boys, over power it!"

Guys wander away slowly

Mr Burns: "Fine, I'll do it myself!"

And he does!!!!!

Willie: "That was amazing Mr Burns!"

Mr Burns: "Yes, I was a bit worried when he swallowed me, ahem, well you know the rest!"

Jacob x5
05-05-06, 15:24
When Homer is mistaken for his long lost rich brother and he stops by for the toilet and a man there says, "Wow! What are you doing here?", Homer responds: "What does it look like?" :D

Laras Backpack
05-05-06, 15:49
When Patty and Selma are trying to persuade Marge to divorce Homer:
'Yeah sure you got a few kids out of him, but when the seeds have been planted you throw away the envelope!' :D

If its Comedy and its not funny, then its just embarrasing!!!.
I feel the same way as you about those 2 shows.