PDA

View Full Version : Creation: The Modern Version


Kamrusepas
05-05-06, 15:03
In the beginning there was the computer. And God said
%>Let there be light!
#Enter user id.
%>God
#Enter password.
%>Omniscient
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%>Omnipotent
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%>Technocrat
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
%>Let there be light!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%>Create light
#Done
%>Run heaven and earth
#And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
%>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%>Create firmament
#Done.
%>Run firmament
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
%>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and
#Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
%>Create dry_land
#Done.
%>Run firmament
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
%>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%>Create sun_moon_stars
#Done
%>Run sun_moon_stars
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
%>Create fish
#Done
%>Create fowl
#Done
%>Run fish, fowl
#And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
%>Create cattle
#Done
%>Create creepy_things
#Done
%>Now let us make man in our image
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%>Create man
#Done
%>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
#Too many command operands. Try again.
%>Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 6 errors.
%>Insert breath
#Done
%>Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 5 errors.
%>Move man to Garden of Eden
#File Garden of Eden does not exist.
%>Create Garden.edn
#Done
%>Move man to Garden.edn
#Done
%>Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 4 errors.
%>Copy woman from man
#Done
%>Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 2 errors.
%>Create desire
#Done
%>Run multiplication
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%>Create freewill
#Done
%>Run freewill
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%>Undo desire
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
%>Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%>Help
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%>Create tree_of_knowledge
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%>Create good, evil
#Done
%>Activate evil
#And God saw he had created shame.
#Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
%>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
#Search failed.
%>Delete shame
#Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
%>Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%>Stop
#Unrecognizable command. Try again
%>Break
%>Break
%>Break
#ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
%>Create new world
#You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.
%>Destroy earth
#Destroy earth: Please confirm.
%>Destroy earth confirmed
#COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
#And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.



---

Source: http://www.geocities.com/sita.a/

Ampersand
05-05-06, 15:33
Very clever. :D

And God saw there were 0 errors.

I love this line. :vlol:

Geck-o-Lizard
05-05-06, 15:33
I had that stuck on the back of my door for a couple of years. Thought it was brilliant. :jmp:

Kamrusepas
05-05-06, 15:34
Thought it was brilliant. :jmp:

Me too :D

laracroft2122
05-05-06, 15:44
Brilliant :biggrin: :vlol: Im printing it, and Im gonna hang it up in my room

Tomb Raider Master
05-05-06, 17:21
LOL, cool! :D :tmb:

Greenkey2
05-05-06, 17:28
Ah, nice to know even He cannot get computers to work sometimes :D

jamieoliver22
05-05-06, 17:36
LOL! Thats ace :D

tlr online
05-05-06, 17:37
First time I've seen this! That's pretty damn cool! :tmb:

Airave
05-05-06, 17:47
LOL! That is funny!:D

raiderfun
05-05-06, 17:51
Oh my godness ! Internet bring all what u want ! :hug:

xMyrax
05-05-06, 18:40
:vlol: Cool! :D I have to save this!

Kamrusepas
05-05-06, 18:44
Ah, nice to know even He cannot get computers to work sometimes :D

I love the ending where it all fails :D

Capt. Murphy
06-05-06, 13:55
I laughed at this.:) Although I'm not sure if it's saying that God messed up (OR) even God has trouble with computers (since they're sooo complicated :rolleyes: ).

But there was one thing it left out. Maybe. Unless this is the 'Desire' part. Because Eve was tempted by the Devil. I understand for them to "multiply" they needed the "desire" to. But Eve also desired to eat of the Fruit of Knowledge...

Please excuse the Bible lesson. :o

So for that to have been more accurate it should've, maybe included something about a Virus or a file that corrupted itself (i.e. Satan wanting/desiring to be higher than God). The 'Eve' program was infected, then it spread to the 'Adam' program. ;)

System crash = cast out of the Garden of Eden... etc. :D

DREWY
06-05-06, 14:04
:vlol:

Spitfire
06-05-06, 14:20
lol, love how god forgot his password :)

Catlantean
06-05-06, 15:35
Priceless :D


%>Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 6 errors.
%>Insert breath
#Done


:vlol:

mau3genius
06-05-06, 15:48
:vlol:

That's very original and clever. :D
Thanks for posting Kam :wve:

amlai
06-05-06, 18:18
Cool!! :tmb: :D

stereopathic
06-05-06, 19:26
that is genius!